feeling hopeless....

chickadees

16 Dec 05, 15:27

I failed my semester again! I dont think i can proceed. I dont know wat to. I dun have anyone to talk to. Not even my bf! Ive not tell my parents. Im so scared. Even my bf said im actually stupid for not telling them. Its not that i dun wanna tell....i juz need time. My bf has always been so unsupportive. His wrds are blunt n insensitive. Recently i was told hes offered to become a manager at his wrkplce. Im so proud n happy for him.As a pessimist...i started to ask myself...where is the relationship goin to? Hes gonna b a manager n me??? A failure and a manager? I felt so intimidated! I tot of working part time in the day n take night classes. Please help me!!!! Im feeling useless!!

FeowFeow

16 Dec 05, 15:32

Hi Chickadees,

Are you doing uni?

FeowFeow

chickadees

16 Dec 05, 15:38

its an open U.....

FeowFeow

16 Dec 05, 15:56

Ok...

Not everybody passes through university smoothly. Some fail because they chose the wrong major, some fail because they didn't study enough etc etc etc. Bottomline is, you're Not alone in failing, so don't despair to the point of giving up. Sure, Nobody feels like failing, but that's part & parcel of life. Better to know what it tastes like now, rather than experiencing it for the 1st time at work, & you dunno how to cope.

Whether your bf is made a manager or Not, shouldn't affect your self esteem. No matter what, he chose you, & 1 failure doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

FeowFeow

Ito_^

16 Dec 05, 15:58

so wad u waiting for? go consult your parents lar. u not alone in failing dats for sure.

dragg

16 Dec 05, 16:26

and change a byfriend please.

the most important thing in a partner is support and love.

FeowFeow

16 Dec 05, 16:31

Could be he's so gan cheong about her that he wants her to get it over & done with, with regards to her parents, & Not to keep fretting over it?

FeowFeow

de_middle

16 Dec 05, 17:16

Ur doing an open U degree, its on a full-time basis & ur facing problems with your grades.

Don't attempt to do it on a part-time basis just becoz ur bf is abt to assume a manager position & ur thinking of earning some cash so as not to feel so useless.

I did my upgrading as a part-time student & its tough trying to toggle between work & studies especially when pursuing my degree. Time wasn't a luxury to me, had to sacrifice my weekends for the libraries & project work.

Honestly, I attempted 2 diplomas & given up becoz of work till I realise I need to set my piorities rite & only then everything went well so much so I didn't even take any supplementary examinations.

Been thru all these, my advice to you is FOCUS, don't be intimidated by your surroundings (BF), it's ur life & ur future, don't bother too much with what others have to say. Just ask yourself what do u actually want in life, when do you plan to complete your studies, set a GOAL & DETERMINATION will soon follow. Never be disheartened by past failures & MOVE ON. Only have nostalgic feelings when you going thru ur convocation ceremony, its then you'll feel the utmost SATISFACTION in ur ACHIEVEMENT.

I sincerely wish you the very best & strength in ur future undertakings Smile

laosu

16 Dec 05, 18:35

Your bf open up the position "gf" for interviews? Since when got positions and status gotta do in a relationship? I maybe will understand if you are the manager and he's doing his Uni still and as a man, usually the ego will slip in.

Another reminder, manager nowadays are nothing. The streets are full of them flooding the MRT trains. If my gf is studying and I'm about to be promoted to managers, I'll probably ask her to put her full concentration on her studies and not to worry about anything else.

Anyway, to ask you. You working and studying at the same time or studying full time?

falling_stars

17 Dec 05, 11:30

You think a partner is a piece of clothing??
When it gets dirty or coesnt fits you then you change it??

StarPuppy

17 Dec 05, 11:34

i think you might be looking in a diffrent way but i think i know what his intention means

In a r/s, one should support their partners in times of hardship...when either of them is pressurized, the other should support another...

if the partner can't even do the basic thing support and love they should consider their r/s

I think for the threadstarter...she should talk to her bf about it...

~+Cheers+~
StarPuppy

yuko-ogura

17 Dec 05, 12:39

i agree wif starpuppy..dun let the efforts u two put painstakingly into the r/s go down to the drains juz becuz he din show care and concern for ya one time..talk to him abt it..see wad u two can come up tgt..

rmb this old cliqued saying?

nth is impossible..the only obstacle u face is urself..

try to come up wif waes tgt..it strengthens ur r/s wif him.

moreover..do wad u can to salvage this r/s k? Cool

SinGaporGuy

17 Dec 05, 13:09

not good change til one is good. . Like wat a rich and famous person from HK have onced said.. Knowledge is Destiny..
Ur future is in ur hand

yuko-ogura

17 Dec 05, 13:41

well-said manz..+1.. Laughing

storywolf

17 Dec 05, 14:53

Study is not easy, guess you know it by now. If you got accepted by open U that already proof that you are not stupid. You already proof yourself to be capable and smart enough, to make it this far.

However you may not have study right or may not have put in enough effort. So sitting there and thinking that you cannot proceed is not going to help. You cannot sit there forever. Life is full of exams, you will find a lot more of it in your career and marriage next time, well you cannot win them all, but at least you must try to win as much as possible and learn cope and move on for those you fail.

If you can afford it , repeat that semestar or even redo that year, put in more effort and don't run away from it.

Don't think about working part-time and taking night classes. You be stepping into another worst nightmare, I been through that.

A manager is just a title, it is you who he must like ! Be you a beggar or no-body. If he love only a princess, than what he love is just title, that any one also can, than dump him. In the world, nothing is certain, till you put in your effort.

stare-what-stare

17 Dec 05, 16:10

take it easy failing is alright...and if your bf is really that unsupportive maybe you should talk to him? but since your exams are over and you didn't do too well...you have to put in more effort maybe you have beeen putting in alot of effort...it could be your studying style...so make changes if there is a need too...

jastinn336

17 Dec 05, 17:48

try harder the next times/round.
look at the bright side. Not everyone pass on the first try,on his/her first test on driving. they try again and again.(it a logical theory).
after all it open uni. u still can try again. think wat went wrong on this year and improve them for this coming year 2006.
All the Best. YOU can do it. Your parent will be very supportive,if you tell them the truth and wat you intend to do next.

Captain ^-^

17 Dec 05, 19:32

wow like that you feel hopeless than our parents how,your worth doesnt measure between with your BF,its matters with your parents pls be more mature dude Evil or Very Mad

organization

17 Dec 05, 22:09

Very easy... Be yourself... Since life in singapore is so miserable and stressed, why must u cope with something that is currently beyond ur limit... Take some time to cool down... Once things starts to settle , do what you need to do...

To be in this rat race, it's not easy given today's singapore uncertain economy...

Gf or bf, it doesn't matter... Each party will show its true colour when faced upon obstacle/diffculty/challenge... Hence, give and take/encouragement/positive thinking is required in either party...

Thus, to lose hope means to lose everything... sometimes, it's best to lose everything than to lose hope...

binZ

18 Dec 05, 00:34

i dun think u need any words of encouragement from me.. (since everyone is saying the same thing)

There is no point worrying or fretting over spilled milk.. i suggest that u spend some time to sit down quietly to think through everything..
example:
1. are u interested in the subjects or field of study?
2. how much effort have u been puting in it?
3. Do u care to work in it for the rest of ur life?
4. can ur parents afford the sch fees etc?

there is no easy way out of anything.. to spend more time on something, means u have to spend less time on others..

it is nv a perfect world~

feel free to pm me and chat chat bah~ i can at least listen~ Smile

nite~

BrUtUs

18 Dec 05, 01:32

sinc eu failed, ask urself y u fail, learn from it and do better next time... which level u taking now??

Mango_tor

18 Dec 05, 02:40

Hey! Be strong! Nothing is lost if u have hope and determination. My brother is a working in a bank and earns quite alot, I am jus a musician who teach, perform and studying a music course. My parents sometimes do compare between he n me but who cares? Just do what u think is right and be it. You can do it! Just believe in urself, I have 'dabao' 7 modules frm my first sem to second sem before! And I end up taking all the exams one shot and pass all 18 modules... though its the lowest point of my life, I dint give up. Same for u k? Dun think too much, jus work towards ur goal! =)

Xcert

18 Dec 05, 10:28

A local prof once said this...To be at uni...U are already at the top 20% of ur cohort.

so by that...U are not a failure...and to be brutally honest....retaking subjects at uni level is pretty common.

pls dont try to do part-time studies if U can afford to do it full-time.U will be more stressed out than what U are feeling now.

Xcert

18 Dec 05, 10:30

waa...U good leh...18 papers Laughing

borntolive

18 Dec 05, 15:09

yr bf is too insensitive...change n do tell yr parents cause keeping all yr disappointments to yrself can be abit hard..