I was wondering whether love still exist after marriage. Before marriage, couples still do lovey-dovey stuff. After marriage, wife care more abt children den husband. Husband also sian of nagging wife each growing days. And it seems that after some years, both parties stay tog coz of children, responsibilities and whatever reasons for as long as they can live with such problems. Cannot tahan den divorce. Can tahan den stay put.

Which brings to the next question. Do you think love alone is enough to see both parties through the rest of their journey? Or do you think marriage is just to settle down with someone whom u can live with the rest of ya life ?

love and marriage are not automatic... you need to work on it... a lot.. and then sometimes it works...

however, if you don't work on it, 100% won't work...

and what's worse, i see lots out there spending all the time, effort and resources on a successful wedding, but not even a small fraction of that effort on a successful marriage..

haha not true lor. love still exist.

hmmmm…........

When I see your thread title and before reading this, my mind was like saying "there goes without saying!"

Of course Love still exist after marriage. It all depends on both parties. I really dislike how people view Love, or even marriage these days. Why should one follow the "trend" whereby everybody would give excuses like "oh, so now there's high divorce rate, I don't think a relationship can last!" or "oh, what? stay committed? How could I? No one is sure of the future, why should I be so dumb!", and etc. It's rather dumb. I mean, if EVERYONE in this world are to think of that, won't you feel it's such a waste that people would start to treat relationships lightly?

Anyway, in my opinion, I would say that a marriage can last long not because of the "responsibilities" but in fact the Love and Bond that both has..After marriage, both couple can still do the lovey-dovey stuffs and still be in the "honeymoon" stage.

However, of course, this does not apply to situation whereby both doesn't really love one another initially but are forced to get married,etc...

but i can say that ppl nowadays nv think properly then get married.. poor children affected after divorce

well, don't give out all the love before marriage....leave some for after. new things cropped up like having kids spice up life. have occassion suprise (don't make it an annual complusory kind) to perk up life.

Originally posted by [K]iyoshi:

I was wondering whether love still exist after marriage. Before marriage, couples still do lovey-dovey stuff. After marriage, wife care more abt children den husband. Husband also sian of nagging wife each growing days. And it seems that after some years, both parties stay tog coz of children, responsibilities and whatever reasons for as long as they can live with such problems. Cannot tahan den divorce. Can tahan den stay put.

Which brings to the next question. Do you think love alone is enough to see both parties through the rest of their journey? Or do you think marriage is just to settle down with someone whom u can live with the rest of ya life ?

What is the reason you love your spouse ?
As long as the reason stays true, you will still love him/her.

Children will grow up, they will leave the nest one day.
By then, will you want to have that person you have chosen to be by your side?

Nagging or not, it is annoying, but would she nag if she don't care?

Love is a manifestation of many other attributes combined, and with time, grow in your heart.

So, as long as the attributes remain timeless, so will your love.

That is why, you need to make sure the person you marry is the true self, not a pretend/fake copy of what he/she makes himself/herself out to be.

To love a person skin deep, is to live a short lived love.

Man, you are a fool, to fault your wife for showering all her love on your offsprings.

Did you not marry her because she is the most caring person you'v ever met?
Did you not choose her because she is the best person to mother your own child ?
So why do you penalize her when she is carrying out her duty with the utmost diligent ?

There is no superwoman, only understanding husbands.

So to answer your question, you settle down with the one you can LOVE for the rest of your life. And hopefully she will too.

Originally posted by [K]iyoshi:

but i can say that ppl nowadays nv think properly then get married.. poor children affected after divorce

this is so true

its only sex that exist after marriage

Originally posted by [K]iyoshi:

I was wondering whether love still exist after marriage. Before marriage, couples still do lovey-dovey stuff. After marriage, wife care more abt children den husband. Husband also sian of nagging wife each growing days. And it seems that after some years, both parties stay tog coz of children, responsibilities and whatever reasons for as long as they can live with such problems. Cannot tahan den divorce. Can tahan den stay put.

Which brings to the next question. Do you think love alone is enough to see both parties through the rest of their journey? Or do you think marriage is just to settle down with someone whom u can live with the rest of ya life ?

yes..LOVE is when u are still holding hands when you turn grey.

in Chinese we called it,

direct translate, marriage is the tomb for love..

Originally posted by [K]iyoshi:

but i can say that ppl nowadays nv think properly then get married.. poor children affected after divorce

Love can be blind, but marriage doesn't have to be.

We were told so many times, that if your other half loves you, he/she will accept all your bad points. But they omit the part about us needing to accept their bad points too.

Love can sustain without marriage, but a marriage cannot sustain without love.

A marriage should be for the intent of starting a family, to multiply love.
Not an end to love itself aka the final destination of love.

bottom line is, it takes two hands to clap. Love will still exist after marriage. That’s if both parties are really in love to begin with.

Originally posted by [K]iyoshi:

I was wondering whether love still exist after marriage. Before marriage, couples still do lovey-dovey stuff. After marriage, wife care more abt children den husband. Husband also sian of nagging wife each growing days. And it seems that after some years, both parties stay tog coz of children, responsibilities and whatever reasons for as long as they can live with such problems. Cannot tahan den divorce. Can tahan den stay put.

Which brings to the next question. Do you think love alone is enough to see both parties through the rest of their journey? Or do you think marriage is just to settle down with someone whom u can live with the rest of ya life ?

Hmmm... marriage by mind, church or state? hehe...

IMHO it does, even if life is tangible and changes shape, takes on a different form as time goes by. Love = subjective matter but it's nice knowing lovers/couples turned partners who manage to find that support system in each other.

It's pretty cool having repose from the crazy world we live in.

It depends on both's personality and situation that they were in.

Generally there are two kinds of love: Conditional love and unconditional love.
Pure love is similar to the kind of love a mother feels for her child. When the child is young, the mother is happy to care for all its needs, even though the child cannot give much in return. On the other hand, if we love people as long as they are nice to us but stop loving them when we no longer get what we want, the love is no pure but mixed with attachment and selfishness. This is called "conditional love" becos it involves demands and expectations.

The love that i saw in my parents are unconditional love. Even though both are not perfect people but they get along without much argument, care for the family, for one another. I think it takes tremendous amount of love for a couple to stay together for long. As we all know, living together with another human being can cause much fiction and arise of conflict of interest.

Just don't let hatred, grudges and ego blinded you.

Originally posted by the Bear:

love and marriage are not automatic... you need to work on it... a lot.. and then sometimes it works...

however, if you don't work on it, 100% won't work...

and what's worse, i see lots out there spending all the time, effort and resources on a successful wedding, but not even a small fraction of that effort on a successful marriage..

i super agree .

Love still exist after marriage! Of cos with only love,its difficult to survive! Responsible must also comes in marriage! Preparation of mentality for marriage is also important. Be prepare to have a change of lifestyle! Be prepare to share a family workload . Nobody in the family is expected to idle around. Work hard for the family and play hard too…

i think true love begins with marriage lor..

Well, as to your question – I doubt love exists after many marriages.

love still exist after marriage. but i guess couples tend to lose the friendship they once had before they got married.

what attracted both of them to each other in e first place? and what got them to decide to be married to each other? it's love, isnt it? i think most of them tend to forget the wonderful memories they once shared.

Of course love still exist after marrying or settling down not after marriage. If after marriage means divorce liao

What married couples go through especially like what my wife and I are going through is call 'ember' love that means it's still burning hot but slow and steady like the ember. You do not see the actual fire going on but it's there and it's intensely hot and it's hard to put out even when douse with water. Picture a forest was on fire and even after a heavy downpour the chances of the forest start to burn up again is great. Why? Because of the embers simmering hot below.

Now for youngsters or couples that are in the middle of a courtship, the love they experience are known as 'raging' love or 'lie huo' in chinese. Their kind of love is like the physical fire, burning and burning away, igniting anything or everything in their way BUT if they aren't careful their fire will be easily put out. A simple thick 'blanket' can do that because their love cannot withstand the trials and errors.

Actually love is one part of the marriage package. Love comes with understanding and accomodating to one another too.

Ok, that about sums it up and I hope it answered your query

Next week, my wife and I will be celebrating 25 years of marriage .. during pak tor days, I will always be rushing to see her ... young you may say .. after marriage I still do the same thing, finish work rush home to see her ... today, I am still the same ... not much have change, I still want to see her immediately after work ... is this love ?? I can't say the same with her but I know she loves me ... maybe not the same as in par tor day but there is love, you know it and you can feel it ...

After 25 years, yes I say there is love after marriage.. it is how you want your marriage to work ... take hard work and sacrifice ... either this or that, no two way about it . . . .

there are many many definitions of love… so pls define your query properly or else I can’t answer.

Sure does, love do exist after marriage, and infact some even become stronger.

I use to see, both locally and overseas, old/mature caucasian couples holding hands together, helping each other, and even kisses each. It really warmed me that love do exist till the end of time, they alway have my admiration and I am so envy of them. Hope that i can find a love partner and end my old age as lovely as them.