A very lonely life
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Today is just another CNY, i'm glad i'm back home after receiving ang paos from my relatives. I have to admit I can't stand them. They just either show off or show fake sympathy if you are not up to par with them.
That's another case altogether...but what i'm upset about is that, I can't seemed to click with anybody no matter how much I try to smile at them & all. They just treat me like , "Oh, I am just an introvert, looks quiet...it's ok, if you talk, we all will be shocked!" Maybe because I had a bad childhood so most of them knew abt it & maybe last time I wasn't really that .. how to say...awaken or mature or even know what I was doing. Because of that, I only had an O levels because I didn't knew the importance of studying & now...even if I would to take up other courses, it will be futile, because JC & a branded uni is of no match to the majority.
Also, I have not been attached all my life & I yearn for a partner to take care of me & me giving him all my heart. But it seems impossible as I couldn't click with anybody that I tried to be friendly with.
It's either they hate the way I talk (Which I think so, cause I slur a lot or talks very lamely) or I looked uneasy, maybe because of my bad childhood that shaped my deportment of today?
I am 20 years coming to 21 & I would like to desperately get back my social life. It's really sad I am living in a shallow world where people that succeeds gets the most choice.
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That's the real world for you. We're being judged in one way or another.
But don't think so lowly of yourself. My cousin didn't finish her O Levels, but now she's her own boss of a corporate secretary company, taking home $80k each year.
Come online here and surf through the forums.
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Today is just another CNY, i'm glad i'm back home after receiving ang paos from my relatives. I have to admit I can't stand them. They just either show off or show fake sympathy if you are not up to par with them.
That's another case altogether...but what i'm upset about is that, I can't seemed to click with anybody no matter how much I try to smile at them & all. They just treat me like , "Oh, I am just an introvert, looks quiet...it's ok, if you talk, we all will be shocked!" Maybe because I had a bad childhood so most of them knew abt it & maybe last time I wasn't really that .. how to say...awaken or mature or even know what I was doing. Because of that, I only had an O levels because I didn't knew the importance of studying & now...even if I would to take up other courses, it will be futile, because JC & a branded uni is of no match to the majority.
Also, I have not been attached all my life & I yearn for a partner to take care of me & me giving him all my heart. But it seems impossible as I couldn't click with anybody that I tried to be friendly with.
It's either they hate the way I talk (Which I think so, cause I slur a lot or talks very lamely) or I looked uneasy, maybe because of my bad childhood that shaped my deportment of today?
I am 20 years coming to 21 & I would like to desperately get back my social life. It's really sad I am living in a shallow world where people that succeeds gets the most choice.
U seems unable to click with the remaining, cos u have not met a true person being not shallow and true of him/herself. The environment u are in maybe a reason. Expand yr social circle. Seek a better social cirle which may let u met the type of person u want to met.
Example: Do u think u have a high chances of meeting a homely and obedient gal in a pub/clubbing?
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My stand has always been that if even you yourself look down upon yourself, then probably there'll be no one left in this world who'll look up upon you. If even you yourself have no confidence in yourself, continue to think lowly of yourself, then don't expect other people to do otherwise. I agree that we do live in a judgemental world. Even I myself is guilty of judging others all the time, be it purposely or not. But at the end of the day does other people's judgement of us matters? No. In the end it's your judgement of yourself, how you see yourself, how you want to live your life that matters.
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Today is just another CNY, i'm glad i'm back home after receiving ang paos from my relatives. I have to admit I can't stand them. They just either show off or show fake sympathy if you are not up to par with them.
That's another case altogether...but what i'm upset about is that, I can't seemed to click with anybody no matter how much I try to smile at them & all. They just treat me like , "Oh, I am just an introvert, looks quiet...it's ok, if you talk, we all will be shocked!" Maybe because I had a bad childhood so most of them knew abt it & maybe last time I wasn't really that .. how to say...awaken or mature or even know what I was doing. Because of that, I only had an O levels because I didn't knew the importance of studying & now...even if I would to take up other courses, it will be futile, because JC & a branded uni is of no match to the majority.
Also, I have not been attached all my life & I yearn for a partner to take care of me & me giving him all my heart. But it seems impossible as I couldn't click with anybody that I tried to be friendly with.
It's either they hate the way I talk (Which I think so, cause I slur a lot or talks very lamely) or I looked uneasy, maybe because of my bad childhood that shaped my deportment of today?
I am 20 years coming to 21 & I would like to desperately get back my social life. It's really sad I am living in a shallow world where people that succeeds gets the most choice.
be my gf
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you still can retake your Os if you really regretted it.
never too old to learn.
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Originally posted by Wai Leng:
My female cousin, single, now 48, only O level, now a manager after working 20 years in her current company, taking home $4K per month...
Last time, when I'm 20+, I'm also like you... now 30+, better already, keep on improving myself to be a better person lah... me have been single all this years due to depression, now recovered from depression, got a stable job, want a bf now... also no friends but don't feel lonely cos used to it already... everyday work, come home, surf the net, listen to music, go shopping alone...
Imagine when I'm at my 20+, my friends already married, got stable jobs, yet I'm still struggling with my depression... people might look down on you & even call you a failure, but you must not look down on yourself lah... don't give up & keep moving... life obstacles had mould me into a stronger & better person today... not really that bad at the end of the day... that's fate, I guess...
good to know that u are positive.Gambatte ne~!
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Hey.. I felt the same way as you did this morning. But i told myself to behave like myself.. Not someone else. Its hard.. But once you have done it, its a smooth path all the way down. Keep this ancedote in mind, everyone feels that loneliness and is always constantly finding ways to fill up that hole with anything and everything. The best way to start a conversation without ending in silence would be first come out with a common topic, etc. Sports, Politics, Entertainment. Then ask HER/HIS view on the issue.. Then listen, afterwhich you begin to speak your side of opinion... Then calmly discuss every denials and objections and so on so forth. Always keep a relaxed attitude and speak calmly.. Don't rush to give your point of view or interrupt.. And most importantly, whatever you speak, make sure you really do have a certain amount of interest in it, if not, you'll sound really fake, and that seriously turns people off. When many people starts talking to you in one go. Don't panic.. Always remember to stay calm. Decides who has a bigger priority in your life and focus on him/her.. ignore the rest.. seriously.. they would probably join into your conversation with the chosen guy/gal. When seriously out of common topics to talk about, there is always the technique of shifting subjects/topics. For example you could suggest go getting a drink or some titbits to munch.. Or you could excuse yourself to go to the latrine to touch up a bit or wash your face and be in a totally relaxed position. When you are refreshed, you can always start the conversation rolling all over again. Its not about the quality of information given to each other when in a causal occasion, its about the interaction. And yes, stay flexible. When anything doesn't go according to what you planned, don't panic and try to bend back the conversation to your advantage.
In conclusion, 1) interest in the subject 2) relaxed attitude. 3) stay calm~! a bit of emotions here and there won't hurt either~ 4) Apply techniques (if any) 5) "escape from conversation when you feel that you're losing it. 6) Flexibilty!!!!
If you have any other doubts or queries feel free to leave me a pm, i will be more than glad to answer your questions. Most importantly, Happy chinese new year xiaobunbun, may your life be filled with wealth, good health and happiness.
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Yea the right attitude. i hate my relatives also... so stuck up and i tell myself..someday they going to come to my condo!! someday i going to drive a big car to their hse and let my parents PROUD of me.. and this day will not be too far away cos i believe i can do it. Jiayou!
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Originally posted by N0body:
Yea the right attitude.
i hate my relatives also…
so stuck up and i tell myself..someday they going to come to my condo!!
someday i going to drive a big car to their hse and let my parents PROUD of me..
and this day will not be too far away cos i believe i can do it.Jiayou!
Wishing you all the best in the pursuit of your dreams! Gong Xi Fa Cai!
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Hi,
It's not that I do not want to retake O's. But I felt really wasted, wasting time doing things that I don't like, that's why I start going out to work. Besides, i want to pursue my own hobby instead. But you see, I am waayy too different from the others. So yes, there is always a big disparity between others & myself. For example, I find facial piercings a good way to accentuate an appearance, but I know most of them would brush it off as 'wild' or 'nonsensical' or even, 'ugly'.
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Hi,
It's not that I do not want to retake O's. But I felt really wasted, wasting time doing things that I don't like, that's why I start going out to work. Besides, i want to pursue my own hobby instead. But you see, I am waayy too different from the others. So yes, there is always a big disparity between others & myself. For example, I find facial piercings a good way to accentuate an appearance, but I know most of them would brush it off as 'wild' or 'nonsensical' or even, 'ugly'.
everyone is different. something that u think is beautiful, someone else might deem it as ulgy. so what?? it's ur life not theirs. beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder though. what is there to be wasted abt? frankly speaking, time is not too much for anyone in the whole wide world though. the time is not going to stop for anyone. and it will not turn back for anyone. if u have indeed understand the importance of qualifications in Singapore, then you would have made plans for your future though. u want to pursue your own hobby can but then can ur hobby let you survive. sometimes in life we do what we need to do, not do what we want to do. -
Hi, It's not that I do not want to retake O's. But I felt really wasted, wasting time doing things that I don't like, that's why I start going out to work. Besides, i want to pursue my own hobby instead. But you see, I am waayy too different from the others. So yes, there is always a big disparity between others & myself. For example, I find facial piercings a good way to accentuate an appearance, but I know most of them would brush it off as 'wild' or 'nonsensical' or even, 'ugly'. maybe u must understand " in this world we must do thing according to WE GOTTA TO DO rather than WE LIKE TO DO." it the realitly. all the best and onlooker123 thks
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Don't feel rejected, everyones here, have ears to listen ur up and down.
That why u and mi, is here typing the messages.
Take care and smile always,coz, it begining of good year is ahead.
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I don't know about you.
But being too social isnt helping either. There are times when you need to pretend to be someone else just to satisfied others.
My advice, be confident and be yourself.
I believe there are people whom you yet to meet who are able to accept you despite your introvert behaviour.
*cheers*
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Dear Bun Bun,Must learn to look forward in life despite of past failure. Don't let past failures cloud your perception and lead you into thinking that the current situation is fixated and you can't do a thing about it now. The path that you are currently treading on is perhaps the less-travelled and probably is harder than most of us. However, life never promise us that it is a bed of rose. Sometime, we must learn to fight for what we want. Sometime mistakes are made so that we can learn to be a better person in the future.. when we know how to avoid making the same mistakes again. Victory/depending on your meaning of success will somehow tastes sweeter when you make some achievement with much effort and hardship. Never give up when the tough is going and of what others are saying and treating you.Reflect on their comment/attitude and judge for their true value. If it is true, learn and if it isn't, let it go. And lastly, there are many successful people who does not succeed in life with a degree. Don't let past academic failure brand you as a failure. Taking failure into a postive light can serve you for a greater purpose for a better life in the future.. Who knows ?
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Originally posted by N0body:
Hi,
It’s not that I do not want to retake O’s. But I felt really wasted, wasting time doing things that I don’t like, that’s why I start going out to work. Besides, i want to pursue my own hobby instead. But you see, I am waayy too different from the others. So yes, there is always a big disparity between others & myself. For example, I find facial piercings a good way to accentuate an appearance, but I know most of them would brush it off as ‘wild’ or ‘nonsensical’ or even, ‘ugly’.
maybe u must understand � in this world we must do thing according to WE GOTTA TO DO rather than WE LIKE TO DO.� it the realitly.
all the best and onlooker123 thks
Hi I think it cool to be different. No matter what you did, there are always people who will label you as ugly, wild, shy, stupid, smart, successful, failure, chio etc etc. It will always happen in the society and "different" people just have to learn to accept there kind of thinking and attitude as norms. And oh yeah, for facial piercing, you will be limited for employment that required neat, clean and regular appearance. However for some, they don't see there as a limitation. -
U r not alone.
There are ppl who loves u or care for u like ur family...
live life to the fullest and meaningfully...
dun care abt what ppl think abt u... it is v tedious...
instead be urself and be happy...
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being social doesnt help..... sometimes i just sit 1conner and just play my psp or listen ipod lor...
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Join CC activities and attend religious gatherings will open U up > in a friendly non pressurised atmosphere and hopefully meet yr Mr Right...don't give yourself presuure to get attached..one day the right guy will find the hidden gem in U....
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Push yourself to talk a bit more, but mai geh kiang hor.
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Join me in my club and gangs, we will doll u up and teach you how to make guy kneel infront of you.
666 gang
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