relationship woes..
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Been with her for bout 6 years now. I'm currently overseas for my studies. Well, it was her birthday a few weeks ago, she went clubbing with her friends, guys and girls. Usually she's not the clubbing sort, but since it's her birthday, i could understand why. Well her friends brought friends along as well, she told me.
2 weeks later, she told me she's going clubbing again, with the same people. Well i felt a little weird naturally right, since she doesn't club usually. So i asked her, and she said it's just hanging out with friends. And i saw pictures in friendster, of her and her friend (girl) and that 2 guys who came for her birthday (friends of her friends). Ok i asked her about it, she just brushed it off as we're just friends.
Being her bf, naturally i'll feel insecure naturally and ask questions right? She got pretty fed up with me asking questions and all. I talked to some close friends of mine (girls and guys), they said, well it shouldn't be anything and that i was thinking too much forming my own perceptions. They said she doesnt seem the sort who'd do such things. I don't know, maybe they're right, im just being over-sensitive suddenly, or it could be that she's hiding something from me. I don't know.
Suddenly i start getting quite paranoid about stuff, like what is she doing right now, how come she hasn't msged/call me, or is she really where she say she is and with who she said she's with? Stuff like that. The normal thing to do is to talk to her right? Well i tried that. And again she got pissed, she said things like, i told u don't have means don't have.
I don't know what to make of it, am i being paranoid? Suddenly suspicious of everything? Suddenly thinking that her attitude changed? (it could be that she's fed up of me asking the same questions when she already said no) People who know her, will know she's not the kind to fool around usually, i think so too. She's usually a very in-your-face kinda girl, like means like, don't like means don't like. She's not the lying sort. It's just i feel she's not been herself lately(again, not sure if im just being oversensitive)
What do u guys/girls think? Am i just being too sensitive?
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Also, a friend told me, if she dare post the pic on friendster, and she did tell u where she's going, and who's there, it means she has nothing to hide. My friend has a point there, but i just thought, ya that 2 times i knew, what about the rest? Maybe she lied? Maybe i do know where she is, but i don't know what she's doing there?
I'm getting paranoid..
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ALL long distance relationship requires a huge amount of FAITH.
If this most important component gets negated in the equation, your relationship is destined to fail.
Look at it this way,
If she finds someone else, she leaves you.
If you continues your paranoid interrogations, she’ll get fed up and leaves you.
Or you can go psycho on her and demand a breakup , she’ll also leave you.
See the odds ? So, shouldn't you just stop stacking more odds against yourself dude ?
Do you want to give the relationship a fighting chance or not ?
Think on the brighter side, and imbue some faith .. and hopefully she’ll be the person you can live your life with.
Remember.. you cannot control love.. you can only nurture/nourish it.
The tighter you grip, the faster it slips.
Just continue with your usual lovey dovey.
Be the person she fell in love with.
Not some low self-esteem control freak.
Good luck and cheer up !
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most of the time the girl will run off with another guy..............it happens
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The reason why we held on so tightly is because we fear of losing them...
It's time.... -
Hi threadstarter,
Do not give in to your nagging doubts and worst, act on them. Be cool and observe the facts clearly before reacting.
Fear will destroy love. Fear can't co-exist well with love. Your greatest enemy is your insecurity and the imagined fear that she will leave u one day. We will leave our loved ones one day, sooner or later. You should nourished the relationship with tender loving care to safeguard and to blossom the love and not with destructive mistrusting attitude.
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Hi,
Firstly I have to say that you love your girlfriend a lot thats why you are getting jealous and paranoid.
However, behaving in such a manner might possible push your girlfriend away to other guys. You have displayed that you do not trust her and that's not very healthy in a relationship.
I agree with some of the comments. Since she was frank and honest with you about going clubbing and posting photos on friendster, it does show that she has nothing to hide and she respect you by telling you. In the first place, she can don't tell you anything and don't post any photos and you won't know anything, right? If you continue to suspect her, she will not tell you anything next time, do you want that?
Put yourself in her shoes also. She also needs a life when you are not around. It's kinda boring to always stay at home so occasional clubbing should be alright.
So, put more trust and faith in the relationship if you wanna see the fruits.
Let me know if you have more questions at www. aluvguru.blogspot.com
Good luck!
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It's call out of sight out of mind
