Need help urgently. Uncle refuses to return 10k to parents
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This is going to be long, please bear with me. It all started a few years ago, when my mother's younger brother(my uncle) ran into financial difficulty following losses in soccer betting. He approached my parents for a loan and to help him apply for a credit card under my dad's name. The money amounted to 10k. My dad was reluctant initially but my mom persuaded him to, they were siblings after all, she felt she had to help. Along the years my mother brought up the issue of payment to him several times, only to be replied with, "i'll pay you back when i have the money". He didnt pay back. His false claims of having no money was accompanied by his extravagant spending. Every new year, his daughters would have the latest handphones and mp3s, branded clothes and all. In addition, his daughter boasted that she had a cash-online card given to her by her dad. My mom would ask him "you said you had no money but there you are, living such an extravagant lifestyle, giving ur daughter a debit card, he replied,"my money, none of your business"(wo de qian bu guan ni de shi). Fast forward to this year, my parents are having financial difficulties themselves. Their business is not doing well and my father owes the bank money. They would always quarrel and we had to sell the car and send the maid home. Because of this my mother has tried to asked him about the money, he would get irritated and aggressive over the phone, saying that even if he had the money he wouldnt pay her back. He believed that my family was well to do and it was our obligation to give him the money. Our families have not met for the past 2 chinese new year. My mom would give red packets to her sister to pass it to his kids. He has never once rejected the red packets, gladly taking it, with no red packets given by him whatsoever. I've seen my mother crying alone in the living room on countless occassions, crying over the loss of a brother and over what she thought initially was a well meaning gesture to help her brother tide over trouble times, has instead serve to distance them to the point of losing their family ties. My dad on the other hand does not want to contact him, saying that he is resigned to never seeing the money again. As the eldest son, i feel helpless seeing my parents struggle to make a living, my mom's a fruit shop operator, and my dad is getting on with his years. They have to scrimp and save to put their kids through school. I'm 19 this year. And i want to help them get the money back. I plan to head over to my uncle's place one night(havent been there in like 5-6years) and have a talk with him. I know this is not right, as a chinese saying goes, "let the adults handle the matter, kids shouldnt interfere". I have thought about going over and beating the shit out of him but its not right, hes my elder after all. I want to go over without my parents knowledge and have a amicable talk with him, explaining my parent's situation. And hoping that he would have a conscience and return the money. I would love to hear your feedbacks on this. Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you are familiar with the law, and there are any avenues to claim it back. please tell me.
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get debt collector to help... or buy pig head and hang infront of his door...
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This kind of people very retarded 1 like my stupid father like tat
after my mum pass away he refuses to give me my monthly allowances...
call him...he on the phone shout at me
he think i scard just because he old i must let him get away like this?????????
NIEN
never stupid old man deserve no respect company doing so well still dun wan give me money
so i went down to HIS BLOODY OFFICE can shouted and quarrel with him
infront of EVERYBODY
shouted liao..then he become quiet and give me cheque
SEE...bottom line ..people dun give u face...why give him face..regardless whether his is your senior anot
if he does not deserve respect .,....then DUN give him
age got nothing to do with this
if one is old but did a lot of bad stuff .....so u dun care and give in to him??? no of course...because he is a man who deserves no respect
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One. It is indeed none of your business to go talk to your uncle and whatever. Two. If you so go over to talk/beat/beg your uncle without your parents knowledge, you are committing the act of creating conflicts within your own family members. Three. Your mother cried over her own foolishness. Your father accepted that foolishness and does not wish to pursue the matter. They are in no dire need of your uncle at the moment except for havign to tighten their belts and provide you and your family members a decent home and future. Its not a emergency yet for your uncle to show family spirit. Arent you jumping the gun here? Four. Its only 10k. Your future can bring in 10k a month easily. Think about it.
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Val,
Viciouskitty is right.
Why throw your future away for 10K ?
Yes, we understand you feel very betrayed by your uncle.
But you must understand that, the reason why your family is in financial difficulties has nothing to do with loaning your uncle the 10K.
Why not you tell yourself .. when you make it big, you will throw another 10K at your uncle's face the next time he comes begging.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
One. It is indeed none of your business to go talk to your uncle and whatever.
Two. If you so go over to talk/beat/beg your uncle without your parents knowledge, you are committing the act of creating conflicts within your own family members.
Three. Your mother cried over her own foolishness. Your father accepted that foolishness and does not wish to pursue the matter. They are in no dire need of your uncle at the moment except for havign to tighten their belts and provide you and your family members a decent home and future. Its not a emergency yet for your uncle to show family spirit. Arent you jumping the gun here?
Four. Its only 10k. Your future can bring in 10k a month easily. Think about it.
i beg to differ.
æ¬ é’±è¿˜é’± , 天ç»�地义.
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Owe money pay money. SO TS knows he will not borrow money in future and be his uncle's level.
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isn't there a thread in CC about this?
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When come to $$ everyone try to avoid getting involve, that's why many ppl try not to tell others how much u earn and the saving u have, even how close the person is to u. That is life.
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Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:
When come to $$ everyone try to avoid getting involve, that's why many ppl try not to tell others how much u earn and the saving u have, even how close the person is to u. That is life.
i agree.
when ppl wanna borrow $$, they act very pitiful.
when u ask them to return, they act lagi pitiful.
still trying to retrieve back a small sum of $$ from my fren. promised to return me 2 mths ago, den said wat uncle funeral in KL n all the bullshit.. kns...
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lol. to be honest i also super dulan. Hopefully my parents would take the legal route. I heard from my friend's brother who is a lawyer that such personal debts are winnable. Even without an iou, cause personal debts dont usually have ious.
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If TS is saying the truth, put out yr uncle name,not only here but other prominient forum. Let them know all his evil deed. If u are no wrong, u will not scare let other know yr identity,right? Better put out yr uncle family photo, curse his whole family. If yr uncle dare to pursue since u are no wrong and yr uncle so wrong. Make this a big issue.Let the whole Sg know..
Even u don't get yr 10k back. This will serve a massive warning to other relative with intention to lend him money or other Xia Lan Gia who try to act yaya over other kindness....
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Very good.. Owning money thru new year.. i dunno about others but i always pay off my debt before cny..
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O$P$, ur uncle so en jiang chuo bao...
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It seemed that ur uncle is being irresponsible here.
If you owe someone money, it is your responsiblity to return them their money before you spend on anything that is not a necessity.
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pity ur mum who's sandwiched btwn all the problems u stated.
as a son, u can show ur support by being a good boy and focus on what u shld be doing (studies?). if you think u can handle it, try to take up some part time work to support urself financially and relieve ur parents of the burden of having to give u pocket $$$?
really no point for you as a junior to speak to an elder, dont care whether u're 19 or 29. u'll put ur mum in greater difficulty if u do dat coz ur b*stard unker may even kaopeh to ur mum & add more strain to her.
as for the legal avenue, it's a lengthy & costly process. for $10k, worth it or not? i think take $10k as a lesson learnt bah. to learn how ungrateful some people can be and never be like them. more impt is to move on and focus on improving ur own family conditions. let ur mum & dad know u've grown up & care for the family and are supporting them in sensible ways, not add to their already estranged relationships with that idiot and financial woes.
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it's ONLY 10k..? seriously leh.. they are owing the bank money and have to sell car and stuff, every bit helps and this is one big bit man..
and does the amount even come into play here? you owe money, you pay money la.. 10bucks or 10k, u want to borrow without the mentality of returning, u are robbing and stealing liao..
somebody come up to u and give u one tight slap, u going to say suan le la let's go..? at the very least slap back then go away right?
to TS, he has decided to play the game of "cut-ties and act blur", then u just play his game with him.. seriously.. the next time u see him, BLATANTLY suan him upside down with insults.. lets just put it this way.. u are NOT going to get the money back.. so just take it that u spent 10k buying a slave for u to insult..
i beg to differ with what viciouskitty has said..
a person who hasn't the least bit of shame to return the money then will not suddenly see u so chee cham den come and return u the money one.. he has already shunned TS's family for two years.. take angbao dun give back.. lanjiao whey oso come out already...(wo de qian bu guan ni de shi).. all the signs are there already.. u dun have to be a multi-millionaire to give angbaos back to the relative who gave u..
if u cant get back ur material wealth, make the best out of it..