School Life probem?
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Hi all,
I am a 25 y/o female.
Recently, I went back to school to purse a degree.
The problem is I feel SO ALONE in my school.
I am currently studying in SIM.
Most of my classmates are ard 18 - 23. ( Ladies I mean)
Most of them joined the course together and so, they formed group. It is so difficult to break into ANY of the group and become one of them.
My main problem is I am STUCK in a NEGATIVE group of BITCHES.
Well, they are young and each one of us are being brough up differently and different thoughts.They seems to be interested in hooking up rich guys and compare branded stuffs.
I tried to make a conversation like ''latest movies reviews, music, tv drama'' but it seems they are not interested.
My problem came when one of the girls was being rude to me.
She sat next to me, and act like pissed off and made ''indirectly comments'' abt me to the other classamate who was sitting next to me. I was sitting in the middle.I pretend I didnt heard it. I choose to ignore because I feel I only have to see their faces twice a week for about 2 years and they are not part of my life.
End of the day, I am still ME. I still have outside friends who love me for being me, I have family, I am healthy.
But it seems I cant get over it because I feel l was being builled.
I feel that I should stand up for myself when the 'girl' was making the 'indirectly comments'.
But on the other hand, if I confront her, others may think I m petty and ''xiao ti da zui''
Maybe is because I been away school for so long, I have forgotten how "fake ppl " can b.
It doesnt get to my daily life, but it surely gets me not looking forward to sch
hai....
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I am sure you have ur social circle outside school. dont need to resort to be as fake as them just to be in their group. hang around with other company more, just be yourself.
Group work shouldnt be a problem.
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tell them,
"Talk is cheap, but so are you."
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Originally posted by sMaLL_tOwn25:
Hi all,
I am a 25 y/o female.
Recently, I went back to school to purse a degree.
The problem is I feel SO ALONE in my school.
I am currently studying in SIM.
Most of my classmates are ard 18 - 23. ( Ladies I mean)
Most of them joined the course together and so, they formed group. It is so difficult to break into ANY of the group and become one of them.
My main problem is I am STUCK in a NEGATIVE group of BITCHES.
Well, they are young and each one of us are being brough up differently and different thoughts.They seems to be interested in hooking up rich guys and compare branded stuffs.
I tried to make a conversation like ''latest movies reviews, music, tv drama'' but it seems they are not interested.
My problem came when one of the girls was being rude to me.
She sat next to me, and act like pissed off and made ''indirectly comments'' abt me to the other classamate who was sitting next to me. I was sitting in the middle.I pretend I didnt heard it. I choose to ignore because I feel I only have to see their faces twice a week for about 2 years and they are not part of my life.
End of the day, I am still ME. I still have outside friends who love me for being me, I have family, I am healthy.
But it seems I cant get over it because I feel l was being builled.
I feel that I should stand up for myself when the 'girl' was making the 'indirectly comments'.
But on the other hand, if I confront her, others may think I m petty and ''xiao ti da zui''
Maybe is because I been away school for so long, I have forgotten how "fake ppl " can b.
It doesnt get to my daily life, but it surely gets me not looking forward to sch
hai....
young xiao meimeis... what u expect?... materialistic young bitches -
Make friends with me lor LOL .
I`m from the sch next to you only LOL .
Ok back to serious matters .
I think you should just hack care them lar . Is not like u dont have other friends outside .
Next time dont sit near them dont talk to them lor . Just concentrate on ur studies . Cause u go there is to study and get a good degree . In the end if u get higher grades then them then they`ll know who is the real loser .
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act blur live longer.
sometimes its the person that is the problem.
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Ignore or confront
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Make friends with me lor LOL .
I`m from the sch next to you only LOL .
Ok back to serious matters .
I think you should just hack care them lar . Is not like u dont have other friends outside .
Next time dont sit near them dont talk to them lor . Just concentrate on ur studies . Cause u go there is to study and get a good degree . In the end if u get higher grades then them then they`ll know who is the real loser .
but nowadays most course modules r group projects based... -
Originally posted by Rednano:
but nowadays most course modules r group projects based...Group Project can chose other people one ma .
Best is chose those people who dont talk much dont have a lot of friends but study a lot .
U get high marks + when exams are coming u can study with them.
Win win situation .
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Carry her balls.
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Originally posted by Rednano:
young xiao meimeis... what u expect?... materialistic young bitches
ya lor. nowadays most girls all like that one. -
Originally posted by deathmaster:
ya lor. nowadays most girls all like that one.
i would love to have many ONS with young xiao mei meis b4 i get married in future... -
Imho the older kids usually have lesser problems in school. Because of age and working experience, they are considered cooler, more knowledgeable, thus they earn respect more easily from classmates and they get to lounge around the lecturers. Hey these girls should be the ones feeling insecure in your company, hahaha.
But fuck them yah. They grading your work no? They paying for your studies no?
Dear your problem is small problem. Easy situation because these girls are not going to affect your rice bowl. When these girls have nothing to do with your ricebowl or your performance as an individual, the last thing you should do is just ignore these bitches. I say diss them.
In your case, silence is not golden. It's already affecting your physical and mental well being in school, so do something god speed before it escalates.
In reality, this kind of people have a very poor self-image, a total lack of people skills and very limited world views, so don't bother making conversation anymore. Why bother getting into their good books? What you need are very simple come back lines. They won't stop these bitches, but they will increase your confidence and discourage them from going further.
For example, if they say, "You want to know what's the problem? There is one. We don't like you."
You say: "That's not a problem."
If they say, "Wah lao somebody seriously have no dress sense."
You say, "You feeling special because of that?"
You get the drift. You already know what they are like, practice your come back lines.
Lastly, try to cement friendships with lecturers. They are the ones grading your work and the better ones, have real advise to give. You go girl!
PS: When you do start dissing them, must have self control. Don't go overboard because dissing them and watching them flip can easily get addictive.
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Oh well. You should always get your priorities straight. You are going to school to earn a degree, not friends. But hey it's only for 2 years and you are not meeting everyday, unlike work, so why try so hard to get into their group if it makes you feel uneasy?
The majority of people i know studying in SIM wants to excel and group projects do play a part in their overall grade. If you have good grades, it wouldn't be hard to find a group that wants you if you are willing to work.
If these people doesn't know any social manners and proper etiquette, it's their problem. Why bother telling them the right thing when you are not related to them? Let these be the job of their family and those rich guys they want to be with.
Don't confront and make a scene. If you really can't stand it, i suggest you move and sit away from them. Even if in the middle of a class. But never show your anger, it shows you are vulnerable to their actions.
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Make friends with the guys.
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Hmm i see soleachip has suggested a more aggresive stance to handle that situation of yours. But oh well, how you want to handle the situation depends on which you feel more comfortable with.
Please keep us updated on the events!
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I'd say pay no mind to these kids.
Soleachip got it entirely right when she said that older kids in school usually have lesser problems; they're often looked up upon as big brothers/sisters and usually mix well with the other age groups.
If TS is not getting that kind of rapport/respect, I'd kinda suspect that TS might be a li'l too introvert (if not reluctant), thus she got stuck in such undesirable situation.
TS should try to socialize a tad more, and use whatever age advantage you have to befriend others, subsequently, move on to another group of friends. I'm not inciting you to look at this as a popularity show, your focus should be on your degree; but what worrying is that your current predicament might affect your group work. Working with people you can hardly tolerate is quite unbearable, I understand.
Do yourself a favor, the next time when you walk into class, instead of heading straight to your usual group of bitches (pardon me!), move around a li'l and get friendly with people. You could start by flashing a smile and just saying hi, whatever you're comfortable with. Just don't appear to try too hard.
"ATTAGIRL!!!"
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TS:
If you feel this way..
than feel another group of ladies else you can go solo..
since you're pursing a degree, just ignore the other ladies..
ask your friends to accompany you if they are available..
else find a good lecturer who can give you additional tution after lessons to improve on your grades rather than associating yourself with your classmates.
no point hanging around people who aren't on the same frequency/wavelength of communication.
if you ever wanna consider another uni IF your financial ability allows you to..go for SMU where it's well recognised for it's reputation.
although the peers might be more or less around the same age, but don't worry about their behaviour and thinking as it's a good private uni..
can say that it's the top choice for adults..
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Originally posted by the_fallen:
if you ever wanna consider another uni IF your financial ability allows you to..go for SMU where it's well recognised for it's reputation.
although the peers might be more or less around the same age, but don't worry about their behaviour and thinking as it's a good private uni..
can say that it's the top choice for adults..
That's stereotypical.For that matter, wherever you go, there're bound to have such people around. I disagree with your 'defeatist' outlook, if TS were to be caught in the same situation after she transfers, does that mean she would need to bail again?
If there's a problem, solve it - don't run away.
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Originally posted by Detached:
That's stereotypical.For that matter, wherever you go, there're bound to have such people around. I disagree with your 'defeatist' outlook, if TS were to be caught in the same situation after she transfers, does that mean she would need to bail again?
If there's a problem, solve it - don't run away.
i did offer different options didn't i? read carefully if you didn't read clearly.
maybe it's sterotyping..but when you look at the image and position of each and various universities in singapore..
smu stood out..
having said that..
i believe TS will know what do.
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At your age...
Find a suitable man, get married and live happily ever after.
Problem solved.
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Originally posted by the_fallen:
i did offer different options didn't i? read carefully if you didn't read clearly.
maybe it's sterotyping..but when you look at the image and position of each and various universities in singapore..
smu stood out..
having said that..
i believe TS will know what do.
I did quote the part that I feel it's stereotypical, didn't I? Read carefullyPardon my cynicism, but do you happen to be a SMU student? Well, NUS/NTU and the various universities in partnership with SIM sure enjoy a higher ranking than SMU
Not trying to be rude nor trying to burst your bubble here, I'm merely presenting facts and my opinion.
Peace
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Contrary to popular belief, it's perfectly fine to be an introvert. What should matter is that you should not be excessively concerned about your level of social presence or lack thereof. While you may see it as a having fewer people to talk to, it also allows you to be less tied down by peer pressure and more free to think about real things that matter to this one life you get to live.
Don't be too bothered with the current mainstream notion that being 'anti-social' is a bad thing, when at a very fundamental level, opinions do not equate to knowledge. And don't get dragged into other subcultures in an effort to conform and give in to a merely-perceived social vacuum, like that of the bimbos you mentioned. Remember, being an introvert can mean less airtime and more braintime.
But I ought not to be lecturing an elder. =]
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SIM students like that?
wa lau.. siao liao next tiem go SIM srue got lots of girls crowd around me. LOLoki... those are not friends la.. those are just bitches compairing who spent the most money. just don't spent money like them.. lol