Back to aunt agony after a long while. Hope you guys will give me some opinions of yours? Thank you in advance.
Lately, got back into contact with a friend. Well, our relationship was a complicated one, i will say. About a year back, we're in 'More-than-friends,less-than-couple' status. Both didnt want to take a further step, unsure of own feeling. (note: lately i wasnt the one that contacted him first) I wanted to leave many a time then, but always dont bear to, for fear of hurting him.
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He left, out of my life, all of a sudden then (overnight, in fact), via a sms saying that he wanted to look for true love, which he found in his work place (that time he only started working for a week) , a girl he fall in love at first sight. He didnt admit it initially till i finally forced the truth out of him (i noticed a huge change in his attitude since he started working, & all those mushy smses, phone calls & msn with another girl, things that once done, for me only. I didnt say anything, for i'm not in the position to. All i did was just watch. I refuse to believe, initially, just deceiving myself to feel better). He previously said he wanted freedom, asking me to let him go & work, so i let him go out & do whatever he want, to work & what's not. Only to find him coming back saying he fall for another girl.
Was devastated then, definitely. Just when i found myself slowly falling for him, touched with everything he'd done, he send me a sms saying he found his true love & asked me to let him go. Told me that he'd never loved me before & he was too immature then & he really regret starting with me. He said he really didnt know what to do in order not to hurt me that much so he decided to leave all of a sudden & avoid the awkwardness of telling me in the face. ( and ya, leaving me to clear up the mess, alone.) I cried, did all i could to salvage the relationship (or not, since we didnt ended up officially together. He did say that i was his gf, but i didnt admit it for he never officially asked me) He cut off all possible contact with me, telling me to find my true love, as he'd found his.
I'd my down-period for about a month & decided to buck myself up, grateful that it was exam period. So there's something for me to concentrate on apart from feeling all upset. His shadow was everywhere, every single corner, it was horrible. All the place that i used to hangout near my place before knowing him, were all filled with him because we went all those places together before. I started avoiding every single possible place that remind me of him. Stop all the furtile effort of contacting him (he wont even bother replying), divert all my attention into exam & finally found him totally out of my life, even memories.
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Just some background story.
Anyway, i injured myself sometime back so i told him about it. Since then, he started messaging me everyday asking how is my injury, is it getting better & what's not. When i told him that it's recovering, he stop replying to my messages & stop messaging me anymore.
Seriously, what is he thinking? Hurt me to the max & left, leaving me to recover on my own. Suddenly message me out of the blue, & kept messaging me asking about my opinions on his decision, appearing in my life all over again. Then show me alot of concern upon knowing my injury, then left all of a sudden again.
Are all guys so complicated? Or am i just unlucky to have met one like this?
Drop me your opinions of what you think he's thinking alright. Thank you.
For me i feel he was just being nice to ask you about your injury.
Originally posted by seotiblizzard:For me i feel he was just being nice to ask you about your injury.
tsk. no sense of imagination.
Originally posted by soleachip:tsk. no sense of imagination.
Think too much, no good for health.
I think he is just lonely.
Well, there was no relationship between you and him that is officially announced and when he tried to announce, you denied. So, there was no break out in the first place.
Anyway, he is just being nice to ask you about your injury... In regards to the leaving you alone and didn't tell you about it in person is just so typically coward of him. Anyway, I guess you just boys and gals still in school... so, forget about it lah... young love usually don't last...
hmm, alright. But why did he disappear out of my life totally by not replying at all that time then suddenly appear & be nice...before disappearing again?
Just to clarify...i'm already in university.(Alright, really immature of my age to get myself into that kind of mess last time)
Right now, i just curious as to how he think, nothing more.
hi R-emo, I think you are stuck in the same situation as I do. I really don't know what to say. But just hope that you try to get over it without any thoughts or question and focus on your exam. He may be just a passer-by in your life. In future there more to come. So just forget it, and take thing easy.
But if you really wants to know what the reason, you can confront him, scream and yell at him, just to get it off or seek for justice.
Sometime, people always ask "why can't I find a right man". But have anyone ever thought that are they really mentally or physically fully prepare to meet the right men in life. If the answer is "yes". I think god already had a plan, but just time is not ripe yet. However, if the answer is "no", I think there no point in finding one now. cause, we are not fully prepare yet. Even manage to find one, the relationship will not work or the path will be a difficult one.
i suffered the same fate as you, just only different that im a guy, hurted by a girl. what to do? this is life.
Originally posted by R-emo:Back to aunt agony after a long while. Hope you guys will give me some opinions of yours? Thank you in advance.
Lately, got back into contact with a friend. Well, our relationship was a complicated one, i will say. About a year back, we're in 'More-than-friends,less-than-couple' status. Both didnt want to take a further step, unsure of own feeling. (note: lately i wasnt the one that contacted him first) I wanted to leave many a time then, but always dont bear to, for fear of hurting him.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He left, out of my life, all of a sudden then (overnight, in fact), via a sms saying that he wanted to look for true love, which he found in his work place (that time he only started working for a week) , a girl he fall in love at first sight. He didnt admit it initially till i finally forced the truth out of him (i noticed a huge change in his attitude since he started working, & all those mushy smses, phone calls & msn with another girl, things that once done, for me only. I didnt say anything, for i'm not in the position to. All i did was just watch. I refuse to believe, initially, just deceiving myself to feel better). He previously said he wanted freedom, asking me to let him go & work, so i let him go out & do whatever he want, to work & what's not. Only to find him coming back saying he fall for another girl.
Was devastated then, definitely. Just when i found myself slowly falling for him, touched with everything he'd done, he send me a sms saying he found his true love & asked me to let him go. Told me that he'd never loved me before & he was too immature then & he really regret starting with me. He said he really didnt know what to do in order not to hurt me that much so he decided to leave all of a sudden & avoid the awkwardness of telling me in the face. ( and ya, leaving me to clear up the mess, alone.) I cried, did all i could to salvage the relationship (or not, since we didnt ended up officially together. He did say that i was his gf, but i didnt admit it for he never officially asked me) He cut off all possible contact with me, telling me to find my true love, as he'd found his.
I'd my down-period for about a month & decided to buck myself up, grateful that it was exam period. So there's something for me to concentrate on apart from feeling all upset. His shadow was everywhere, every single corner, it was horrible. All the place that i used to hangout near my place before knowing him, were all filled with him because we went all those places together before. I started avoiding every single possible place that remind me of him. Stop all the furtile effort of contacting him (he wont even bother replying), divert all my attention into exam & finally found him totally out of my life, even memories.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just some background story.
Anyway, i injured myself sometime back so i told him about it. Since then, he started messaging me everyday asking how is my injury, is it getting better & what's not. When i told him that it's recovering, he stop replying to my messages & stop messaging me anymore.
Seriously, what is he thinking? Hurt me to the max & left, leaving me to recover on my own. Suddenly message me out of the blue, & kept messaging me asking about my opinions on his decision, appearing in my life all over again. Then show me alot of concern upon knowing my injury, then left all of a sudden again.
Are all guys so complicated? Or am i just unlucky to have met one like this?
Drop me your opinions of what you think he's thinking alright. Thank you.
just treat him as a friend, can already.
in the meantime, keep a lookout for other nice guys.
the new year is kicking in soon. stay happy..... what will be, will be.
I was, possibly still am, like this bloke. Went out with somebody for a while.Didn't really like her but she approached me and I decided to go along for now. In the end I decided to end it - she was damned upset I telly you.
Look at it from his PoV. Perhaps he wasn't experienced/ mature enough to handle breaking up properly.
Anyway, I cannot see this as being anything close to him wanting to get together again. Just play by ear for now...
maybe ask him or wait?
Originally posted by R-emo:Back to aunt agony after a long while. Hope you guys will give me some opinions of yours? Thank you in advance.
Lately, got back into contact with a friend. Well, our relationship was a complicated one, i will say. About a year back, we're in 'More-than-friends,less-than-couple' status. Both didnt want to take a further step, unsure of own feeling. (note: lately i wasnt the one that contacted him first) I wanted to leave many a time then, but always dont bear to, for fear of hurting him.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He left, out of my life, all of a sudden then (overnight, in fact), via a sms saying that he wanted to look for true love, which he found in his work place (that time he only started working for a week) , a girl he fall in love at first sight. He didnt admit it initially till i finally forced the truth out of him (i noticed a huge change in his attitude since he started working, & all those mushy smses, phone calls & msn with another girl, things that once done, for me only. I didnt say anything, for i'm not in the position to. All i did was just watch. I refuse to believe, initially, just deceiving myself to feel better). He previously said he wanted freedom, asking me to let him go & work, so i let him go out & do whatever he want, to work & what's not. Only to find him coming back saying he fall for another girl.
Was devastated then, definitely. Just when i found myself slowly falling for him, touched with everything he'd done, he send me a sms saying he found his true love & asked me to let him go. Told me that he'd never loved me before & he was too immature then & he really regret starting with me. He said he really didnt know what to do in order not to hurt me that much so he decided to leave all of a sudden & avoid the awkwardness of telling me in the face. ( and ya, leaving me to clear up the mess, alone.) I cried, did all i could to salvage the relationship (or not, since we didnt ended up officially together. He did say that i was his gf, but i didnt admit it for he never officially asked me) He cut off all possible contact with me, telling me to find my true love, as he'd found his.
I'd my down-period for about a month & decided to buck myself up, grateful that it was exam period. So there's something for me to concentrate on apart from feeling all upset. His shadow was everywhere, every single corner, it was horrible. All the place that i used to hangout near my place before knowing him, were all filled with him because we went all those places together before. I started avoiding every single possible place that remind me of him. Stop all the furtile effort of contacting him (he wont even bother replying), divert all my attention into exam & finally found him totally out of my life, even memories.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just some background story.
Anyway, i injured myself sometime back so i told him about it. Since then, he started messaging me everyday asking how is my injury, is it getting better & what's not. When i told him that it's recovering, he stop replying to my messages & stop messaging me anymore.
Seriously, what is he thinking? Hurt me to the max & left, leaving me to recover on my own. Suddenly message me out of the blue, & kept messaging me asking about my opinions on his decision, appearing in my life all over again. Then show me alot of concern upon knowing my injury, then left all of a sudden again.
Are all guys so complicated? Or am i just unlucky to have met one like this?
Drop me your opinions of what you think he's thinking alright. Thank you.
problem is u, simple as that. u started the whole thing again!
AffectationPerifdy,
I guess you'll be able to give me some opinions as to why guys will just go along with it when girls approach them despite not liking them?
By the way, i didnt really approach him. Just that it naturally turn out like that. Not deliberately.
Originally posted by R-emo:
Lately, got back into contact with a friend. Well, our relationship was a complicated one, i will say. About a year back, we're in 'More-than-friends,less-than-couple' status. Both didnt want to take a further step, unsure of own feeling. (note: lately i wasnt the one that contacted him first) I wanted to leave many a time then, but always dont bear to, for fear of hurting him.
de_middle,
hun, it must be miserable to be you cause you choose not to read properly before shooting off your mouth? then again, it might be my assumption of you?
It was just a casual talk when i brought up the topic, that's all.
Anyway, since you choose to comment that the problem lies with me that started the whole thing again (which clearly shows that you dont read, or maybe cant read well), maybe you'll want to be so lovely enough to drop some constructive comments rather than just saying i'm wrong?
Originally posted by R-emo:AffectationPerifdy,
I guess you'll be able to give me some opinions as to why guys will just go along with it when girls approach them despite not liking them?By the way, i didnt really approach him. Just that it naturally turn out like that. Not deliberately.
some don't want to hurt the girl? maybe don't love but at least is not dislike. others just need someone by their side for the times being. others for sex.
Hi R-emo
This is just a guess. He likes your companionship when he is lonely or bored, but he wants to choose the best girlfriend that he thinks he might able to search for, or at least try to look for one himself and not someone entering to his life naturally.
He has feelings for you but just care and concern as a good friend that knows him, not because he loves you at this time.
Not a bad guy afterall as he is honest to you about his feelings. Some guys will never tell their gf the truth at all and dragged a few years and then dumped the girl. He did it fast so that he is not wasting your time. He dare not face you to solve the issue, could be he feels guilty and he might be a soft-hearted person that could not do it face-to-face.
Some guys are just shopping for the best gf( beautiful, rich, capable and independent) along the way till they found one.
Please move on. There are many good guys around you, and this time, safest to make make sure if the person is interested in you before you fall in for him so that you wont get so much hurt again.
One key issue in relationship is to have good communication and care for each other feeling all the time.
What i mean is when both parties are honest about their feelings and you have to find out yourself. There are many ways to know besides asking him, observe him closely and that cant be hidden in the long run.
Hope that helps.
All the best to you
Lychee
Originally posted by Lychee88:Hi R-emo
This is just a guess. He likes your companionship when he is lonely or bored, but he wants to choose the best girlfriend that he thinks he might able to search for, or at least try to look for one himself and not someone entering to his life naturally.
He has feelings for you but just care and concern as a good friend that knows him, not because he loves you at this time.
Not a bad guy afterall as he is honest to you about his feelings. Some guys will never tell their gf the truth at all and dragged a few years and then dumped the girl. He did it fast so that he is not wasting your time. He dare not face you to solve the issue, could be he feels guilty and he might be a soft-hearted person that could not do it face-to-face.
Some guys are just shopping for the best gf( beautiful, rich, capable and independent) along the way till they found one.
Please move on. There are many good guys around you, and this time, safest to make make sure if the person is interested in you before you fall in for him so that you wont get so much hurt again.
One key issue in relationship is to have good communication and care for each other feeling all the time.
What i mean is when both parties are honest about their feelings and you have to find out yourself. There are many ways to know besides asking him, observe him closely and that cant be hidden in the long run.
Hope that helps.
All the best to you
Lychee
You're in danger of angering the real lychee.
he is treating like pet :)...need u companionship will come to you and talk to you care for you...when he dun need you, he will just kick u aside like a irritating animal...just leave him completely..move on with your life...
Originally posted by R-emo:de_middle,
hun, it must be miserable to be you cause you choose not to read properly before shooting off your mouth? then again, it might be my assumption of you?
It was just a casual talk when i brought up the topic, that's all.
Anyway, since you choose to comment that the problem lies with me that started the whole thing again (which clearly shows that you dont read, or maybe cant read well), maybe you'll want to be so lovely enough to drop some constructive comments rather than just saying i'm wrong?
be it a casual talk or not, there is no necessity to tell him u were injured. ur just opening another window of opportunity for him.
i hope u see my point, cheers.
Originally posted by R-emo:Anyway, i injured myself sometime back so i told him about it. Since then, he started messaging me everyday asking how is my injury, is it getting better & what's not. When i told him that it's recovering, he stop replying to my messages & stop messaging me anymore.
Seriously, what is he thinking? Hurt me to the max & left, leaving me to recover on my own. Suddenly message me out of the blue, & kept messaging me asking about my opinions on his decision, appearing in my life all over again. Then show me alot of concern upon knowing my injury, then left all of a sudden again.
That is the key words! His concern for u was just a friend concern. U reply him that u ok liao. Why is there still a need to ask sms u more? His job as friend to ensure at least u are in good health is accomplished. What do u expect more of him to do as a friend?
I think he is at least a very responsible guy. He knew he is immature in past and deem a apology to him for his action. Now he found his true love and wanted fully concentrate on his real love. But u to him is still a friend. U hurt yrself and him as a friend is to show some concern for yr health. U recover and mission accomplish for him as a friend to u. Nothing wrong with him and u are too sensitive!
Now MOVE ON..... move on with yr life with a new love and find some aim in yr life!
why did he show concern for you on & off ? - maybe its because during that period he quarrelled with girlfriend? That's why have time to show concern. When they are ok, he disappear into thin air...
at the moment , you are not his priority in his life. ...but he still cares for u... but there is more fun outside
This guy has already told you he was never in love with you. FULL STOP.
Even if he replies to your smses and expressed concern about your injuries you have to understand that he did that because he is basically a kind and probably a well-mannered person.
Do NOT read more into his kind words. It is highly unlikely, very unlikely actually, that he will SUDDENLY fall in love with you just because you told him about your injury.
Move on, girl...........
"Just to clarify...i'm already in university.(Alright, really
immature of my age to get myself into that kind of mess last
time)"
No, you are not immature. Please dont think that way. Even grown ups get into a bit of divorce once in awhile, but does that mean they are immature? No..they are simply a little confused...
R-emo
there can only be 2 reasons...
1) he really treat u as a close friend
2) hes just playing wif your feelings/emotions...
Girls 6th sense are usually very accurate... Just believe in what u are thinking at tis pt of time