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I’ve caught my FIL masterbating in his room twice on separate occasion. I’m staying with my inlaws & they’re 70+ years old. It happened during the afternoon & it is disgusting & embarassing. I dare not tell or confide this matter my hubby & family members & friends. I don’t know if they will believe me…. Even if i wish to tell them, i find it difficult & embarassing to say. What shall i do? If u’re in my shoes, what would u really do?
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I caught my grandmother masterbating too. I know it's very hard thing for you to witness this kind of thing, and it took me few months to get over it. At first, I had exactly similar thoughts as yours whether if I show tell my parents about it.
Just keep it quiet, and try not to think about this and the disgusting thoughts will go away soon. It happened to me, and happened you... Let it be....
I'm not sure if we are in the same generation, but here a song let me share with you a song. Relax murasaki
Beatles - Let it Be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdopMqrftXs
Edited by Darkness_hacker99 21 Sep `11, 11:10PM
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Originally posted by murasaki:
I’ve caught my FIL masterbating in his room twice on separate occasion. I’m staying with my inlaws & they’re 70+ years old. It happened during the afternoon & it is disgusting & embarassing. I dare not tell or confide this matter my hubby & family members & friends. I don’t know if they will believe me…. Even if i wish to tell them, i find it difficult & embarassing to say. What shall i do? If u’re in my shoes, what would u really do?
Huh ?
Do you know that after 40 plus, woman will lose their ability to give birth. Men will lost their ability to produce sperm at 50 plus. Technically, grandparents are sexless?
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U’re cool by taking it cool. The 1st time i caught him was like 8years ago & i’ve gotten over it since. Then recently it happened again & this time i’m sure he was loud! I thought it was only once & that’s it that i would ever caught him in that. I really wished it was just a bad dream. On top of that i also caught him many times peeping
me when i was doing some chores
the kitchen! Gosh…. why do i have to be in this situation? I’m starting to hate my FIL!
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Originally posted by murasaki:
U’re cool by taking it cool. The 1st time i caught him was like 8years ago & i’ve gotten over it since. Then recently it happened again & this time i’m sure he was loud! I thought it was only once & that’s it that i would ever caught him in that. I really wished it was just a bad dream. On top of that i also caught him many times peeping me when i was doing some chores the kitchen! Gosh…. why do i have to be in this situation? I’m starting to hate my FIL!
Oh my....
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obviously the FIL was fantasizing about you....its normal to masturbate but to do so deliberately with your awareness is not right...and u should address it...but very very discreetly...
do u think u can keep it to yourself and pretend nothing has happened? ur unhappiness is groping on u whenever u see this thing happened...and worse if u r all staying under one roof...
in fact, i can read in between your lines that u r trying to move out with your hubby...but there may be a problem if your hubby is against it;....
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Firstly there is nothing wrong with masturbating, if not done in excess.
You feel its disgusting, why? Because you see it? OK granted the sight is pornographic. Normal sexual acts if chanced upon is also horrid. If you see your father and mother humping, it is also disgusting. Sexual acts should be done in private. But sometimes, privacy is invaded, inadvertantly. Thats what happened in your case.
Next time you catch you FIL wanking, just laugh, and say, "You enjoying yourself ah." and close the door. As DIL, please don't assist him in any way.
Its better than him going to Geylang, or to the aunty next door.
Let it be. Its normal.
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I caught my brother masterbating too. I know it's very hard thing for you to witness this kind of thing, and it took me few months to get over it. At first, I had exactly similar thoughts as yours whether if I show tell my parents about it.
Just keep it quiet, and try not to think about this and the disgusting thoughts will go away soon. It happened to me, and happened you... Let it be....
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Originally posted by murasaki:
I’ve caught my FIL masterbating in his room twice on separate occasion. I’m staying with my inlaws & they’re 70+ years old. It happened during the afternoon & it is disgusting & embarassing. I dare not tell or confide this matter my hubby & family members & friends. I don’t know if they will believe me…. Even if i wish to tell them, i find it difficult & embarassing to say. What shall i do? If u’re in my shoes, what would u really do?
aiyoh.................then you must know what to do lah.................
as long as you don't have a 3some with father and son.....................should be alright lah...................
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Thanks for the response. I tried to post my reply just now but it didn’t appear so i gotta retype & try again. I still have respect for my FIL because he’s an elderly & he’s my hubby’s father & he’s my FIL. The growing hatred is due to the fact of his indecent exposure of sight & sound over a repeated period of time plus his frequent peeping
me. This is mentally disturbing. I know its normal to masterbate but its where & how one does it. If there's no balance & ability to manage one's desire & expectation then it can become other people's problem. I disagree that disgusting is to pretend and foist one's morality on others. Privacy is meant to be private for one's sense of feeling hearing seeing speaking & thinking but if there's an exposure then where's the so called privacy. Its like walking being naked in own home yet can be seen by neighbours. That's disgusting! I know that one time or another i won't that. The word hypocrite is too vague & superficial to use in almost every normal situation and it can be better examined. I'm lost
how am i going to handle this without creating further negative feelings for myself & my family. I’m taking the comments here with open mind & glad to know this place exist for people like me to confide share my thoughts & feelings. It helps to broaden my perspective & options. I can’t be moving out because its our new flat we just moved in and yes i admit i wished i don’t have to live with my parents inlaw!
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Elder Care center.
I guess you are full time housewife, correct me if I am wrong.
Both my parents are working full time, and we decided to enrol my grandmother to elder day care center with transport provided. I'm not too sure about the price, but if money is not a factor, you can try convincing that your FIL will be doing better at the day care center.
At the day care center, there are many people providing care for the elderly. Most care center have a routine i.e. breakfast, then little masuclar exercise, lunch, tv, etc. Do consider my suggestion, it may help you.
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Originally posted by mancha:
An idle mind is the devil's workshop.
Keep him busy.
Yes. My (paternal) grandmother felt much more cheerful after going to the elder care center. For my maternal grandmother, she is also very depressed because nobody attend to her all the time. After my maternal enrol to elder care center, within 1 week, everyone notices her cheerfulness again.murasaki, i'm just sharing with you a little about my family.
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Thanks for your suggestion. I was thinking of asking my hubby to talk to my FIL to encourage him to go out mingle with friends & do some group exercise & activities so that he won’t be bored & do bored things at home. I’m not sure if this elder care centre works for him… i really wish i will not encounter this again. Its not what i want. It just happened! I’m not a full time housewife. Thankfully! It might not be twice…
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Your FILsleep in the masterbed room correct? so naturally he will do that lah, please pity all these old man, there is actually nothing left in them, it took him 8 years to do one masterbed, more longer than olympic. I hope as a DIL, you can also see how to help him when he is doing, then when he finally call for the day, he may give you more of his assets and go peacefully, as for you, not only you gain but also feel filial piety of what you had done for him.
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Originally posted by murasaki:
Thanks for your suggestion. I was thinking of asking my hubby to talk to my FIL to encourage him to go out mingle with friends & do some group exercise & activities so that he won’t be bored & do bored things at home. I’m not sure if this elder care centre works for him… i really wish i will not encounter this again. Its not what i want. It just happened! I’m not a full time housewife. Thankfully! It might not be twice…
Yes, just talk to your hubby about your fil masturbation.Are you working or housewife and staying at home with your fil the whole day?
How come your fil masturbate in the room without locking the door? Or rather not in the toilet? He stand and masturbate by looking at you?
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