21 Nov, 06:12PM in sunny Singapore!
Home Aunt Agony

how to get rid of past BGR hurts

Subscribe to how to get rid of past BGR hurts 65 posts

Please Login or Signup to reply.
  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • I've been hurt badly b4.

      there's no more feelings already but the hurt still lingers. (verified recently when i saw her, no feel at all)

      I've tried to look for someone else but i didn't dare to commit due to the past hurts. In the end, things didn't work out between me and that new person.

      my frens ask me am i sad that the new person didn't work out, i tld them no cause i didn't put too much into but the truth is that it's because i've been emotionally hurt so badly that there's nothing left in me already to feel sad for BGR.

      from where i see it, I've moved on just that i'm still hurt

       

  • speakoutfor's Avatar
    838 posts since Jan '12
    • Seriously. After reading your previous post, I find you emotionally frail.

      Sorry to say. But the thing is, you are not even in a relationship or marriage and this rejection by this girl has made you given up hope for all else.

      Come on, there is obviously going to be more tougher trials ahead of you. If you can't take this, you are going to get bash by life.

      This is reality. YOu got to stand up to it or else your self pity is going to kill you.

  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by speakoutfor:

      Seriously. After reading your previous post, I find you emotionally frail.

      Sorry to say. But the thing is, you are not even in a relationship or marriage and this rejection by this girl has made you given up hope for all else.

      Come on, there is obviously going to be more tougher trials ahead of you. If you can't take this, you are going to get bash by life.

      This is reality. YOu got to stand up to it or else your self pity is going to kill you.

      errr.... i dnt tink my case a serious as what u r describing lah but u r right that i'm emotionally frail.

      i know personally that i can't take emotional hurts but i have no prob with the rest of what life has to bring

  • Just_do_it_lah's Avatar
    18,865 posts since May '10
  • speakoutfor's Avatar
    838 posts since Jan '12
    • Originally posted by redname:

      errr.... i dnt tink my case a serious as what u r describing lah but u r right that i'm emotionally frail.

      i know personally that i can't take emotional hurts but i have no prob with the rest of what life has to bring

      Not serious? Just reading from what you wrote, its obvious that you are damn hurt and its affecting your life.

      "i know personally that i can't take emotional hurts but i have no prob with the rest of what life has to bring"

      From this statement, you have a big PROBLEM with what life has to bring because life is about EMOTIONAL HURTS. A lot of people will let you down. The thing is, will you let it bring you down or will you overcome it?

       

  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by speakoutfor:

      Not serious? Just reading from what you wrote, its obvious that you are damn hurt and its affecting your life.

      "i know personally that i can't take emotional hurts but i have no prob with the rest of what life has to bring"

      From this statement, you have a big PROBLEM with what life has to bring because life is about EMOTIONAL HURTS. A lot of people will let you down. The thing is, will you let it bring you down or will you overcome it?

       

      it affected me really bad, this i gotta admit, tht's y my past posting were so bad but i'm better now and althou it hurts when i tink abt it but not to the extend that it affects my life.

      ok, to make it clear, emotional as in BGR type.

  • JelloPoop's Avatar
    281 posts since Apr '12
    • Its ok to feel hurt ....Who doesnt feel hurt by their ex crush/relationship is not human..or in denial.

      It just takes time for it to pass.

      Sometimes I still think of the girl I was with 3 years ago even thou I'm starting to forget what she looks like...what I remember are the emotions involved...and that makes me feel sad sometimes.

      These are what I call bitter sweet memories :)

      However know that life has plenty to offer you...look forward bah.

      Dont deny yourself the chance to move forward and experience something new. Like wise don't let such sad thoughs deny you a chacne to experience something new because you are just being unfair to yourself!!!!!

      Edited by JelloPoop 16 Jul `12, 12:23PM
  • Edwin Chew's Avatar
    18 posts since Jul '12
    • no, if so you should even treasure and cherish this new person.
      i even see my own eyes the girl and her bf behaving so… ...

      i had similar experience, music has a miraculous healing effects man.

      i actually felt so down,just when “choi bu” or loving couple walked pass.

      Try listening to linkin park,the new album quite gd named” living things”.

      wat is ur yr of birth?care to be friends?

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by redname:

      perI've been hurt badly b4.

      there's no more feelings already but the hurt still lingers. (verified recently when i saw her, no feel at all)

      I've tried to look for someone else but i didn't dare to commit due to the past hurts. In the end, things didn't work out between me and that new person.

      my frens ask me am i sad that the new person didn't work out, i tld them no cause i didn't put too much into but the truth is that it's because i've been emotionally hurt so badly that there's nothing left in me already to feel sad for BGR.

      from where i see it, I've moved on just that i'm still hurt

       

      your ex hurt u, u go hurt another person... The cycle goes round and round.

      Since u not ready to let go , then best is stay single for now...don't jump into another relationship or string along another innocent party.

      Taking your revenge out on another person will not make u feel any better.

      Let time, heal the pain and wash away your fears.. Before you take another leap again.

  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by Edwin Chew:

      no, if so you should even treasure and cherish this new person.
      i even see my own eyes the girl and her bf behaving so… ...

      i had similar experience, music has a miraculous healing effects man.

      i actually felt so down,just when “choi bu” or loving couple walked pass.

      Try listening to linkin park,the new album quite gd named” living things”.

      wat is ur yr of birth?care to be friends?

      to me, i dnt care if the gal has a bf or filrting with anyone (she did tht in front of me b4), it doesn't affect me tht way anymore.

      i'll just need to get rid of the -ve emotions.

      hahaha, music can't work for me cause i'm a musician actually and i'll be distracted by how the song is written, played etc....

      i'm '81

    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      your ex hurt u, u go hurt another person... The cycle goes round and round.

      Since u not ready to let go , then best is stay single for now...don't jump into another relationship or string along another innocent party.

      Taking your revenge out on another person will not make u feel any better.

      Let time, heal the pain and wash away your fears.. Before you take another leap again.

      i nvr really hurt the other person lah, it was mutual and just felt not suitable lor.

      i was careful in this part, not to hurt anyone, i'm definetly not someone as described :)

  • bycai's Avatar
    240 posts since Jul '12
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      your ex hurt u, u go hurt another person... The cycle goes round and round.

      Since u not ready to let go , then best is stay single for now...don't jump into another relationship or string along another innocent party.

      Taking your revenge out on another person will not make u feel any better.

      Let time, heal the pain and wash away your fears.. Before you take another leap again.

      Precisely awesome! 情为何物 for the time being, until you have healed and ready to accept another romantic cheers. relationship has to be sensible and mature so that you will not feel that hurtful in the first place. 借情消愁愁更愁!

  • BabylonPunkette's Avatar
    41 posts since Apr '12
    • Like it or not, you still have to move on. C'mon, loosen up a bit. Your life isn't that miserable yet. Go out with trusted friends, gain new experiences and soon, heartaches will dwindle to nothing but dust settled on closed chapter.

  • mancha's Avatar
    8,961 posts since Sep '04
    • You don't pick a person and then try to make it work.

      There is a possibility you may pick the wrong person, and things go along fine, and you think it works, until you find yourself in a dilema.

      Let them all come and go.

      Until, the one comes.

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by redname:

      i nvr really hurt the other person lah, it was mutual and just felt not suitable lor.

      i was careful in this part, not to hurt anyone, i'm definetly not someone as described :)

      The relationship between you and your ex was also mutual , yes?

      No one forced you into it. So it's mutual. 

      And he felt u are not suitable for him after spending 2 years with you.

      Since u don't feel like u are hurting the new guy, then why do you insist on feeling so hurt when your ex do the same to you?

      perhaps it's your ego that is getting obliterated...nothing more. No one can hurt a person who only cares about herself/himself .

      Edited by jojobeach 17 Jul `12, 2:42AM
  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by BabylonPunkette:

      Like it or not, you still have to move on. C'mon, loosen up a bit. Your life isn't that miserable yet. Go out with trusted friends, gain new experiences and soon, heartaches will dwindle to nothing but dust settled on closed chapter.

      perhaps i'm still in the recovery stage but i'm glad i have no feelings already and tht makes things easier than llast time

    • Originally posted by mancha:

      You don't pick a person and then try to make it work.

      There is a possibility you may pick the wrong person, and things go along fine, and you think it works, until you find yourself in a dilema.

      Let them all come and go.

      Until, the one comes.

      but my problem now is the hurts tht i can't go past

    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      The relationship between you and your ex was also mutual , yes?

      No one forced you into it. So it's mutual. 

      And he felt u are not suitable for him after spending 2 years with you.

      Since u don't feel like u are hurting the new guy, then why do you insist on feeling so hurt when your ex do the same to you?

      perhaps it's your ego that is getting obliterated...nothing more. No one can hurt a person who only cares about herself/himself .

      1stly, i'm a guy who unfortunately is emotionally affected like a female.

      what happened between me, the old one and the new one are totally different, it's not a simple case.

      between the new one and me, we made it really clear and no harm was done on both sides but the old one wasn't like tht, lead me on and hurt me really bad.

      i'm not too sure abt the ego part as of the time i'm writing this

       

  • BabylonPunkette's Avatar
    41 posts since Apr '12
    • I had a colleague whom once who behaved the same as you. She was left emotionally distraught after breaking up with her philandering boyfriend. (My coll was not only pragmatic and down-to-earth person, but a 'giving soul'.) Words went out and another guy in her social circle came along, offering "his shoulders to cry on" (so to speak). My coll taught this's a chance for her to forget about that ex-boyfriend, and sure enough, she went into this new BGR without waiting for her 'emotional scars' to clear up, and dragged this new guy along into another roller-coaster ride. A ride that she paid to get in onto despite several warnings we - other colls - advised her against. Barely 4 months into the new BGR, she had enough and cited "lack of chemistry" the reason for their breakup.

      I don't know about some of you but when you are close to someone for years at work or anywhere else, you can sense a person's mood through outward appearance, behavior and routines. All that years, there's lack of enthusiasm in her and with her then-new BGR the way she confided in us. When it was over, I had wanted to give her that "I-told-you-so" look but what's the use? She's the one who's in control of her fate (and the other guy's too).

      Old memories these are but valuable lessons they turned out to be. So coming back to you, I'd advise you to refrain from another BGR while you are still in the recovery stage. Detox yourself by engaging in social activities like friends' activities or go out with family. They would get you back to your feet and in the midst of this, you would learn a thing or two from them.

       

       

       

      Edited by BabylonPunkette 17 Jul `12, 1:01PM
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by redname:

      1stly, i'm a guy who unfortunately is emotionally affected like a female.

      what happened between me, the old one and the new one are totally different, it's not a simple case.

      between the new one and me, we made it really clear and no harm was done on both sides but the old one wasn't like tht, lead me on and hurt me really bad.

      i'm not too sure abt the ego part as of the time i'm writing this

       

      I don't think she lead u on, and purposely hurt u.

      Every relationship started on loving grounds.. Along the way we discover our partner's strength and weaknesses.

      In these 2 years...your weaknesses may have out numbered your strengths.... And when she couldn't see herself living with u for the long term, she will have to let u go. To be fair to you, and to herself.

      Perhaps a little introspection on your part may do you good for your future relationship.

       

       

       

  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      I don't think she lead u on, and purposely hurt u.

      Every relationship started on loving grounds.. Along the way we discover our partner's strength and weaknesses.

      In these 2 years...your weaknesses may have out numbered your strengths.... And when she couldn't see herself living with u for the long term, she will have to let u go. To be fair to you, and to herself.

      Perhaps a little introspection on your part may do you good for your future relationship.

       

       

       

      hhmmm, are u sure u r replying to the right person?

      cause i dnt remember saying it's 2 yrs or watever and certainly what u've mentioned was the case between me and her

    • Originally posted by BabylonPunkette:

       

      hokay thank you.

      i'll stay away next time

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by redname:

      hhmmm, are u sure u r replying to the right person?

      cause i dnt remember saying it's 2 yrs or watever and certainly what u've mentioned was the case between me and her

      Oh u are right.. Sorry.. Wrong thread.

  • speakoutfor's Avatar
    838 posts since Jan '12
    • I think your problem is not getting over this girl. The hurt will go away, eventually. Just don't wait too long.

      THe biggest problem is how to find another girl.

      In our asian context it is very difficult.

  • redname's Avatar
    582 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by speakoutfor:

      I think your problem is not getting over this girl. The hurt will go away, eventually. Just don't wait too long.

      THe biggest problem is how to find another girl.

      In our asian context it is very difficult.

      in wat terms of getting over her?

      i know i'm dam pissed off with her lah

Please Login or Signup to reply.