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Do I have a chance?

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  • Oldkamhouse's Avatar
    54 posts since Mar '12
    • Recently I went out on a blind meeting with this girl. My friend recommended us.

      She's like 29 and I am now 37. Our age gap is huge.

      During our conversations I found that she is outgoing, adventurous and like contemporary stuff. As for me, I am conservative, analytical and old fashion. She works in a very high powered position at a progressive MNC (very popular and highly demanding company that pays well). Whereas for me, I am just an average executive, hardly making ends meet. She is attractive, open minded, like discos and dye her hair blonde.

      I found that during our conversations, we really differ a lot. She likes certain musics and I like different kind of music. Even the destinations we like to go is different.

      Then it hit me, when halfway during our meeting, at a restaurant, she told me not to put my hopes too high and she just tell me to enjoy the meet as friends.

      Also she ask me what I do during weekends. I was afraid to tell her that I go to church because she's a buddhist. I do a lot of church activities so instead I told her I do housework. While she said she usually likes to dance at night clubs till the next morning with her friends. I don't think I have that much energy to join her.

      So would this mean that she is not really interested in me? Do I have a chance at all? Should I ask her out again?

      Also do you think I should find people my age? Do girls in their late 20s like older guys like me?

      Next week, my friend is recommending me with a mid 20s girl. At first I was shock because thinking that she may not be matured enough. But hey, what the heck? Its not as if I have anything else to do during the weekend, mind as well get to know her better. Besides, sheis in the same religion as I am (mid 20s girl, not the 29 year old one). So maybe we can click on that.

      Edited by Oldkamhouse 24 Jul `12, 9:56AM
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Oldkam, as much as I 'D love to give u a big hurrah, n cheer u on with this gal... I honestly can't.

      First of all, I think it is important u have a reality check.

      What do u want from the gals u meet?

      U want her to produce a baby, but it seems u are barely making ends meet as a single guy.

      Babies are not cheap. How are you going to afford the added expenses ? 

      You want to marry a woman, if she wants to be a house wife, can u support her financially ? housewife does not equal no expenses. She still need her clothing, accessories, body care, and entertainments, travels, grooming sessions etc.

      As friends' there's no expectations.

      A relationship is filled with expectations. If u cannot meet her expectations, she will be disappointed. In the end, u will be dissatisfied too.

      if u cannot take the extra burden, I suggest u do as the gal said, just enjoy meeting new friends. 

      Edited by jojobeach 24 Jul `12, 10:11AM
  • Army 21's Avatar
    548 posts since Jun '12
    • u should put the idea off dating girls and start ways to make real $$$$ by having a company of your own.

      u are living in this century with the internet where things are done instantly over the internet from purchasing to information that makes money.

      concentrate a few years on making real $$$$$$ !!!the salary scale is suppressed in singapore unless you are a minister or own the company that u work in!

    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      Oldkam, as much as I 'D love to give u a big hurrah, n cheer u on with this gal... I honestly can't.

      First of all, I think it is important u have a reality check.

      What do u want from the gals u meet?

      U want her to produce a baby, but it seems u are barely making ends meet as a single guy.

      Babies are not cheap. How are you going to afford the added expenses ? 

      You want to marry a woman, if she wants to be a house wife, can u support her financially ? housewife does not equal no expenses. She still need her clothing, accessories, body care, and entertainments, travels, grooming sessions etc.

      As friends' there's no expectations.

      A relationship is filled with expectations. If u cannot meet her expectations, she will be disappointed. In the end, u will be dissatisfied too.

      if u cannot take the extra burden, I suggest u do as the gal said, just enjoy meeting new friends. 


      a male of the human species gets a girl not for making babies but merely for sex and pleasure.

       

      if he could control his urges and channel it to a worthy area,he would not be in agony aunt.its self discipline and control that matters most apart from his desire for sex and pleasure.babies are not in his itenery.

  • bycai's Avatar
    240 posts since Jul '12
    • prob, try another 5-10 years for true love of yrself, thereafter, renounced if can't click anymore. adventurous and conservation, these are pure nonsense, there is no purely adventurous and purely conservation, you can only find this super class of both conservation & adventurous such as Zen masters, like sixth zen patariarch master huinen or Hsu Yun among others

       http://www.angelfire.com/indie/anna_jones1/hsu_yun.html

       

  • JelloPoop's Avatar
    281 posts since Apr '12
    • You can be totally opposite and learn from each other in a relationship you know. Anyway it seems like this woman is not ready to settle down yet and is choosing her options

      Do you have any life plans? Like say in the next 10 years....job promotion..family etc etc...Just seems to me like you're meeting woman and hope they magically fall in love with you...

      Do you know how to sell yourself as an individual?? Use things to your advantage..goign to church weekly could show your dedication etc etc ...

      Why are you so afraid to tell people you go to church even if she is from another religion. Do you despise god?? Dont call yourself a christian then. So you abandoned god just cause you're afraid you might get rejected...NICE...

      Nothing wrong with being a christian you know. Anyway you just screwed this up yourself by not being trueful. Even if this does work out, I don't know how you are going to conceal your lie.

       

      Edited by JelloPoop 24 Jul `12, 10:50AM
  • Oldkamhouse's Avatar
    54 posts since Mar '12
    • Originally posted by JelloPoop:

      You can be totally opposite and learn from each other in a relationship you know. Anyway it seems like this woman is not ready to settle down yet and is choosing her options

      Why are you so afraid to tell people you go to church even if she is from another religion. Do you despise god?? Dont call yourself a christian then. So you abandoned god just cause you're afraid you might get rejected...NICE...

      Nothing wrong with being a christian you know. Anyway you just screwed this up yourself by not being trueful. Even if this does work out, I don't know how you are going to conceal your lie.

      I am not concealing anything. Its the truth, I do a lot of housework during weekends. Well at least part of it. I am not revealing the part where I go to church because I wanted to avoid talking about religion.

      On the first meeting, its quite heavy to talk about religion and politics. To me, its a big no no.

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by Army 21:


      a male of the human species gets a girl not for making babies but merely for sex and pleasure.

       

      if he could control his urges and channel it to a worthy area,he would not be in agony aunt.its self discipline and control that matters most apart from his desire for sex and pleasure.babies are not in his itenery.

      You are stating the obvious. 

      Women know, and they arnt gonna give it for nothing.

      They will demand something back in return for the pleasure u get from their body.

      Emotionally u need to satisfy them, or they will refuse to satisfy u physically.

      Financial strength bolden a man, it gives a woman security.

      TS can seek what he wants, but he is not in any position to afford any of the luxury of having one. 

      If u read his past postings, he is seeking females within child bearing age for a reason.

      Edited by jojobeach 24 Jul `12, 11:17AM
  • Oldkamhouse's Avatar
    54 posts since Mar '12
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      Oldkam, as much as I 'D love to give u a big hurrah, n cheer u on with this gal... I honestly can't.

      First of all, I think it is important u have a reality check.

      What do u want from the gals u meet?

      U want her to produce a baby, but it seems u are barely making ends meet as a single guy.

      Babies are not cheap. How are you going to afford the added expenses ? 

      You want to marry a woman, if she wants to be a house wife, can u support her financially ? housewife does not equal no expenses. She still need her clothing, accessories, body care, and entertainments, travels, grooming sessions etc.

      As friends' there's no expectations.

      A relationship is filled with expectations. If u cannot meet her expectations, she will be disappointed. In the end, u will be dissatisfied too.

      if u cannot take the extra burden, I suggest u do as the gal said, just enjoy meeting new friends. 

      Yes it is true, babies are not cheap. Perhaps I downgrade myself too low. I was just saying comparatively to her. I may not be rich but I fulfill some requirements. I have a car, I have a flat (I stay on my own) and I have credit. She on the other hand, have a bigger and nicer car, live in luxurious condo and her family is rich.

      I am talking about expectations. I don't know her that well, but from what I gather, she seems to be in the upper echelon class. She tells me that she loves to shop for furniture and those furniture ain't cheap, those are boutique furniture, not those you find in IKEA.

      I can support her financially. Just that not the financial level she may want.

      Yes, since she wants to enjoy as friends, should I ask her out the second round?

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,474 posts since Dec '99
    • well, u can try. maybe can explore further

       

       

      but as she warned, no hopes, no disappointments.

      so dun push it and piss her off and then relli game over.

       

  • Aneslayer's Avatar
    1,511 posts since May '11
  • 6u3king's Avatar
    317 posts since May '12
    • like the ABBA song, take a chance on me (you)  give it some time she told you not to wait with abated breath, So brother, go and make your world, no harm, you need to gamble and find your match, love has no barrier or bounds, it is we the actors who fell prey to the demands of vanity and society scorners. So buddy be  the guy who wants matrimony, btw church goers usually have nice match up ? so ""

  • Army 21's Avatar
    548 posts since Jun '12
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:

      You are stating the obvious. 

       

      If u read his past postings, he is seeking females within child bearing age for a reason.


      maybe thread starter likes young spring chickens instead of mother hens.but child bearing is not what he needs,,,,,,SEX!

      grannies arent exactly shapely and alive!!!~~~~

    • Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:

       

      Yes, since she wants to enjoy as friends, should I ask her out the second round?


      should????are u afraid????me thinks u lack confidence which could be due to lack of potential or u have already exhausted your means to provide appreciable  results even after putting in 101%??!!!

      u may ask her out but dont be surprised she already has lots of dudes in line.

    • well..if u really like her...then try to dance with her at niteclubs till dawn!

    • but then if she goes clubbing.. and dance until like that.....................maybe u should inspect her for fleas on her or something...:)

      when a cat scratches its fur...it means theres fleas!!! like when theres smoke..theres a fire!

      Edited by Army 21 24 Jul `12, 5:05PM
  • mancha's Avatar
    8,961 posts since Sep '04
    • Look, Oldkamhouse, 29yearold already told you, not to have high hopes. So stop wishing and hoping and thinking and praying. Planning and dreaming each night of her charms. You won't get into her arms.

      You seemed to be a despo, she is not for you, yet you are hoping there is a chance.

      Be thankful she didn't laugh and tell you that you are too much of a nerd for her. She was nice though and mature, and tell you that you can be her acquaintance (she use the word  friends because acquaintance is too big for casual conversation).

      Keep it at that level, before she finds you weird, and start avoiding you.

  • troublemaker2005's Avatar
    8,443 posts since Dec '05
  • Army 21's Avatar
    548 posts since Jun '12
    • Originally posted by troublemaker2005:

      get a life. you won't feel you lack anything after that. its all in the mind

      hey i know u!!!you are the model collector!!!!

  • Oldkamhouse's Avatar
    54 posts since Mar '12
    • Originally posted by mancha:

      Look, Oldkamhouse, 29yearold already told you, not to have high hopes. So stop wishing and hoping and thinking and praying. Planning and dreaming each night of her charms. You won't get into her arms.

      You seemed to be a despo, she is not for you, yet you are hoping there is a chance.

      Be thankful she didn't laugh and tell you that you are too much of a nerd for her. She was nice though and mature, and tell you that you can be her acquaintance (she use the word  friends because acquaintance is too big for casual conversation).

      Keep it at that level, before she finds you weird, and start avoiding you.

      "Finds me wierd and start avoiding me?"

      Why would you say that?

      after the date, I ask her for her hp number and we exchanged numbers.

      This gives me at least some opportunity to ask her out.

    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      well, u can try. maybe can explore further

       

       

      but as she warned, no hopes, no disappointments.

      so dun push it and piss her off and then relli game over.

       

      For this reason, I try not to make second date to grandeur. Maybe take her to a less posh place, like starbucks where normal people have conversations.

    • But it has been 7 days since the first date. I haven't contacted her at all.

      Do you think my opportunity has expired? I heard from somebody, the general rule is 3 days after 1st date to make second contact.

      I am very distracted because I have another upcoming date this weekend.

      The dating agency is like pushing one date per week. I got to tell them to slow down.

  • Darkness_hacker99's Avatar
    38,115 posts since Jun '05
    • wrong agenda.

      she go dating looking for men with high social status.

      you go dating to look for a woman to settle down.

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:

      "Finds me wierd and start avoiding me?"

      Why would you say that?

      after the date, I ask her for her hp number and we exchanged numbers.

      This gives me at least some opportunity to ask her out.

      Please do not mistake her friendliness and kindness as giving u a chance.

      Some people are very friendly, that's what they are. And that trait does in turn attract people to want to be with them. However, being friendly and kind does not mean she is interested in you on the romantic level.

       

    • Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:

      But it has been 7 days since the first date. I haven't contacted her at all.

      Do you think my opportunity has expired? I heard from somebody, the general rule is 3 days after 1st date to make second contact.

      I am very distracted because I have another upcoming date this weekend.

      The dating agency is like pushing one date per week. I got to tell them to slow down.

      3 day rule ? Whoever gave u that was a bad dater himself. 

      At the end of the first date, you should be asking if it's ok to ask her out again. If she likes u, she will say ok . Then ask her when is a good day to call. Respect the lady and let her decide. 

      If she don't really care for the next date, it's time to bow out. Graciously,Thank her for an awesome evening. Send her home if she has no personal transport. Tell her she is most welcome to call u if she need someone for a cup of coffee next time. But don't hold your breath for her to call, if she does, it's a bonus, if not...it shouldn't be a surprise.

      Be a gentleman no matter the outcome. At the end of day, even if things don't turn out as u like, at least you feel good about a strong finish.

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