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Should I tell woman that her spouse is cheating on her?

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  • Anonymouswoman1970's Avatar
    6 posts since Oct '12
    • My friend has been married for almost 10 years. During the whole marriage he has been cheating on her both in and out of Singapore. This time he's with another girl that I know and they have been together for more than a year. They always talk about the future (having babies, etc) in front of me, and he even said he would leave his wife for her in about one year! I feel very bad for his wife. But I read a lot of forums regarding this topic and they said the messenger is the one who will get into trouble but I really cannot put up with this!! Any suggestions on what to do? Help please!!

  • Dalforce 1941's Avatar
    2,185 posts since Dec '11
  • mr music's Avatar
    255 posts since Mar '12
  • Anonymouswoman1970's Avatar
    6 posts since Oct '12
    • Unfortunately I do not have any evidence. I have considered writing a letter anonymously but what if she doesn't believe it? 

  • maxsee's Avatar
    947 posts since Jul '04
    • U should not be interfering in this...this is his business.....if u interfere there will definitely be bad blood in the future between 2 of u....end of the day, it is the woman who is dumb since she believes in him.

  • mr music's Avatar
    255 posts since Mar '12
  • Anonymouswoman1970's Avatar
    6 posts since Oct '12
    • No, I am not trying to sabotage or blackmail him. I simply feel bad for the woman because he has been doing this to her for the whole time they were married. If I were in her shoes I would like to know the truth too.

  • ivan1973's Avatar
    49 posts since Jan '11
  • mr music's Avatar
    255 posts since Mar '12
  • Devoted gal8888's Avatar
    33 posts since Oct '12
    • u shld tell the wife lar...

      u go put their pic in stomp lar..haha or send the wife c the pic...like tat the wife will wake up..got evidence..

      if i am the wife i want to know..

      dun keep her in the dark..

      this makes her the most pitiful person...so ke lian..to think the husband rely love her...really most hurtful..

       your friend also no good lar go n step in people family...will get retribution one..in another way u helping her lar..ask her go do more good tings to su zui...

      haiz....TMD cho nan ren..men really cannot be trusted..haiz..

      Edited by Devoted gal8888 24 Oct `12, 3:48PM
  • [imdestinyz]'s Avatar
    1,361 posts since Jan '11
    • i think it depends on what kind of character the wife is... but oh well... such a man... shld not be spared.

  • Anonymouswoman1970's Avatar
    6 posts since Oct '12
    • I'm a friend of both the man and the mistress so I'm not doing this on purpose to spoil anybody's relationship. It really is ridiculous though. He sees his mistress everyday without fail and buys her extravagant gifts. Although he claims that he doesn't love his wife anymore, I feel that something should be done instead of him leading her on blindly like this, right? 

  • Dalforce 1941's Avatar
    2,185 posts since Dec '11
    • Originally posted by Anonymouswoman1970:

      Unfortunately I do not have any evidence. I have considered writing a letter anonymously but what if she doesn't believe it? 

      Tell her to watch for signs of adultery from her husband. Maybe she also already have doubts, you never know. 

      Don't know whether it is appropriate to use in this case or not but:

       

      People of the world, be courageous, dare to fight, 

      defy difficulties and advance wave upon wave.

      Then the whole world will belong to the people.

      Monsters of all kinds shall be destroyed.

      http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/mao/selected-works/volume-9/mswv9_30.htm

      Edited by Dalforce 1941 24 Oct `12, 7:40PM
  • Medicated Oil's Avatar
    4,878 posts since Dec '03
    • Depend on whether you want to be responsible on the eventual outcome.

      Prepare to lose both of them as your friends.

      They may want to maintain the present status quo.

      Or they have to work it out within themselves.

      So, you have to think twice before you tell the truth.

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,010 posts since Dec '99
    • u sure the wife doesn't know?

      or maybe the wife oso having a good time with a young guy...........

  • Dalforce 1941's Avatar
    2,185 posts since Dec '11
    • maybe you send her the letter about her husband cheating and she reply to you that she knew about it a long time ago. Just wanted to close one eye, open one eye only.

      Just boldly, forcefully, bravely and resolutely go and tell her the truth.

      If the marriage is rotten, it will end sooner or later, doesn't matter whether you tell her or not. 

      Edited by Dalforce 1941 24 Oct `12, 11:11PM
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by Anonymouswoman1970:

      My friend has been married for almost 10 years. During the whole marriage he has been cheating on her both in and out of Singapore. This time he's with another girl that I know and they have been together for more than a year. They always talk about the future (having babies, etc) in front of me, and he even said he would leave his wife for her in about one year! I feel very bad for his wife. But I read a lot of forums regarding this topic and they said the messenger is the one who will get into trouble but I really cannot put up with this!! Any suggestions on what to do? Help please!!

      Got children involve or not ? If got children involve then you have to be very careful. Things can be more complicated than you think.

      Why that man need to wait one year ? He can divorce the wife anytime wat. That man stringing along not only his wife.. he also playing his mistress lah.

      Since that man and his mistress are your friend.. why you never ask them why they do such unscrupulous things ?

      Next time take pictures and voice recording with your smartphone lor... then send to the wife annonymously lah... with our current technology... there is no such thing as secrets anymore lah.

      Besides... after 10 years of marriage.. the wife probably already know something is not right with her marriage lah.... your evidence may not even be a shock to her... just something to confirm her suspicions... so yes.. go ahead and send the evidences.

  • newgal's Avatar
    71 posts since Oct '12
    • Originally posted by Anonymouswoman1970:

      My friend has been married for almost 10 years. During the whole marriage he has been cheating on her both in and out of Singapore. This time he's with another girl that I know and they have been together for more than a year. They always talk about the future (having babies, etc) in front of me, and he even said he would leave his wife for her in about one year! I feel very bad for his wife. But I read a lot of forums regarding this topic and they said the messenger is the one who will get into trouble but I really cannot put up with this!! Any suggestions on what to do? Help please!!


      You must tell her watever you know because this is a serious matter.

      Edited by newgal 25 Oct `12, 1:12AM
  • Nadare's Avatar
    1,965 posts since Sep '02
  • lce's Avatar
    2,463 posts since Jun '11
  • Greenpeas009's Avatar
    1 post since Oct '12
    • Just let it be.. she'll figure it out herself.. you dont need to create more problems in betraying your friends trust.

  • Anonymouswoman1970's Avatar
    6 posts since Oct '12
    • No, there are no children involved. But apparently he wants to wait until he's more stable financially before he leaves her. Isn't that kind of an a**hole thing to do.

  • Dalforce 1941's Avatar
    2,185 posts since Dec '11
    • Since this marriage is doomed and he is going to divorce her in the near future, you might as well give the marriage the finishing blow and give the upperhand to your female friend. Tell her to get the evidence of cheating so that she will have the advantage in divorce proceedings.

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by Anonymouswoman1970:

      No, there are no children involved. But apparently he wants to wait until he's more stable financially before he leaves her. Isn't that kind of an a**hole thing to do.

      Well... since there is no children involve.. then what are you waiting for.

      He is an A-hole anyway... and that mistress totally deserves this kind of man.

      Spare that wife and set her free earlier... short pain better than being dicked around by an A-hole any longer.

       

  • Anonymouswoman1970's Avatar
    6 posts since Oct '12
    • Yeah I would like to tell her. But I was hoping I could do it in a way that neither of them would know that it was me. Any suggestions?

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