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Your views on a relationship?

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  • MrWaynee's Avatar
    3 posts since Dec '13
    • Hello people :), Here to share some thoughts. I've seen like girls not willing to go into a relationship due to her past relationship when she actually did so much for the guy.

      Likewise for a guy whos being hurt before and starts ruining girls life.

      So what actually works? what are your views?

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    popikachu's Avatar
    16,111 posts since Dec '06
  • M the name's Avatar
    1,763 posts since Mar '09
  • Bio-Hawk's Avatar
    1,009 posts since May '10
  • mrchn's Avatar
    34 posts since Jun '14
    • they have to move on, forgive and forget, I guess.. and hopefully one day they can find someone who's good enough to make them do so!

  • Otomegal's Avatar
    7 posts since Jun '14
  • Grouponvouchersg's Avatar
    2 posts since Jun '14
  • Emilychen646's Avatar
    3 posts since Jun '14
    • perhaps just starting as friends, and then encouraging the comfort level between 2 before going further will help.

  • Megan.cox147's Avatar
    1 post since Jun '14
  • Cholelim87's Avatar
    7 posts since Jun '14
    • trust and communication is truly vital. sometimes quarreling isnt a bad thing you know, the friction helps make the couple grow to learn more about one another.

  • Taylorchloe53's Avatar
    1 post since Jun '14
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • "I've been hurt before" is an excuse people use to reject advances.

      The next person they fall in love with.. that excuse flies out the window. They'll convince themselves this one is worth taking a risk.

      So, if a guy or gal tell you this reason.. it just means he/she is not interested in you as a romantic partner.

      Guys who hurt girls are simply jerks, they use past bad experiences to justify taking out their anger on an innocent person. 

      You simply cannot hurt someone who doesn't gives a shit about you. 

      Love doesn't hurt. If it does, you're with the wrong person. 

       

       

       

       

    • Originally posted by Cholelim87:

      trust and communication is truly vital. sometimes quarreling isnt a bad thing you know, the friction helps make the couple grow to learn more about one another.

      Friction like all else, breaks down any relationship over time.

      You don't need to quarrel to get to know each other.

      If two person is yelling.. who's listening?

      Leave your egos outside the relationship. 

      Speak your mind, don't expect the other to read yours. 

      Agree to disagree. Listen, observe and help each other grow.

       

  • Tilly.godfrey's Avatar
    1 post since Jun '14
  • bibliotheque's Avatar
    1 post since Sep '14
    • well.. i think that it's the man who hard to be understand. i was in a relationship  with a guy 32 years old. and the next one is 40 years old.. both has no commitment at all.. what's wrong with the singaporean guy actually?? they kept saying " i tried to think about u, but i can't"... and the next thing that i saw from them.. they jump from another girl to the other girl

  • Kahnyian 1707's Avatar
    8 posts since Sep '14
  • Xenaleebaby's Avatar
    4 posts since Sep '14
    • Love makes one blind.. Thats the pain God created for people.. If you have been hurt and isnt ready to step into another, why cause damage to the other person's life? It would cause a vicious cycle..

      Take a step back, let time heal the wounds and embrace a new beginning.. Its not good to bring the past into the new..

  • Dchua1969's Avatar
    7 posts since Aug '14
    • I partially agree with xenaleebaby.

      Many people think that God only do good things to people but failed to understand that not so good things are created into your life to mould your character. I had a long troubled relationship which sets me into depression. Although I married late at 38, I have a wonderful wife and 2 great kids, a blessing that God has given to me.

      IWe often hear about people saying move on, come on , he/she is not worth your time , the grass is greener on the other side............etc

      And if you are not heeding their advice or not doing what seems popular or "right" then you are stupid, deserve the punishment, etc. I think we can exercise more empathy and restrain our judgement first by listening to their story.

      We lived in a fast paced society where information are coming to us from all over the place. To process this information, our brain will selectively choose what we want to retain and discard the rest.

      Each of us is created differently by God or evolution or whatever you choose to believe in. Some are more resilient when they meet with hardships in life while others may not be as strong. It is at this stage that they need emotional support, a listening ear, a holding hand and encouragement.

      It was said that if you begin to tell a lie to yourself each day , every day for 90 days, you would accept that lie as truth. Similiarly, if a person who has went through a bad patch in their relationship and think enough is enough and not wanting to EVER begin a relationship with anyone, then it will take some time before they could turn around.

      The human is a fascinating creature, capable of protecting itself from harm of any sort. So this inner wall was meant to prevent subsequent hurt to the heart. That was the right thing to do. And often I told my clients not to start a new relationship after their break-off.

      Nobody can tells you 100% what works in your relationship as each of us has our own sets of values, beliefs and perspectives about it. Personally, I think the foundation to building a joyful and meaningful relationship begins with authenticity, compassion and responsibilities among others.

      Love is a wonderful thing. The journey is not only about discovering your other half but also revealing a part of you that you do not know.

      Love always

      Desmond

       

       

       

       

       

  • lostinlife's Avatar
    8 posts since Sep '14
    • Well it probably cant go on forever, they just havent met the right person who can really move them..

  • Hazelhazel's Avatar
    27 posts since Sep '14
    • Sometimes unless we have been so traumatically hurt in love before, especially in our 1st few relationships, we will not really know how it feels and what it means for a person to turn into a cold hearted player. 

       

      That said, I believe that what goes around comes around: no matter what trauma a person has ever experienced in d past, one still has to take responsibility for the evil n hurt he/she has caused to others. 

  • BishyBashy's Avatar
    14 posts since Sep '14
  • MssyJo's Avatar
    16 posts since Nov '06
  • Muaji13's Avatar
    4 posts since Oct '14
  • Acidcat's Avatar
    52 posts since Aug '14
    • I think love is about the right fit like the right shoe ... If every little thing need to compromise ... I think it is hard to tolerate for life . There  are people , especially men , who have been hurt a few times in love . They see everyone as mean and evil and bitter because they themselves are .

  • ejal's Avatar
    7 posts since Mar '14
    • A whole load of trust. If you don't have trust, leave it. Also, communication is vital. Whether you're feeling bad or good, communicate it to your partner, instead of waiting for him/her to figure out your non-verbal cues. 

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