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  • Blackops 74's Avatar
    14 posts since Nov '12


    • Hi All

      Currently I am serving NS. There's this girl whom was my previous poly classmate. We are together for 3 Years 2 months whom just called it quits with me over Family Related Issues and Time Commitment as I am currently in NS. And as I do shift work my weekends are not guranteed.

      She broke the news first to me via text as first saying she is considering our relationship as she was very stress with her studies, personal commitments, Family Issues as well as Extra Curricular Activities in school. We thrashed matters over massage as she was busy mugging for her Quizzes up in a few days time. I even dropped by her school to look for her unannounced to tell her how much I miss her and love her and we talked for a bit before she told me she needed a cooling period to cool off.

      Honestly I was devastated and smothered her with messages of how much I love and miss her daily and even called her but to no avail during the cooling off period. I know I should not have done this after consulting some of my friends.

      After 1 week she texted me saying she thought enough and that she came to a decision. That she don't think that we can ever resolve the issues that she thinks are problems in our relationship. I replied citing to meet up for her to break the news to me as a courtesy of our 3 years relationship and she agreed to the meet up after her upcoming exams.

      I asked her to allow me to buy her a meal when she came over for the agreed agenda. As I really love her and want to chase her back to be part of my life.

      Any Recommendations or advice you could give me to make this turnaround a success?



       

  • eac's Avatar
    4,035 posts since Dec '03
    • 康康 - 兵变

      OS:
      这个歌是我这张专辑唯一收录的一首新歌 希望失恋的朋友
      要谅解你的另外一半 因为有时候其实你自己也不是很好
      只是你不愿意承认

      月台目送我离开 好心疼 不能陪在妳身旁 怕妳会孤单
      是否妳也想着我 好遥远 几个星期不见妳 妳就爱上别人

      说要等我回来 为何如今要分开
      妳的兵变我好难挨 难道妳已忘了我

      看着流星坠落 好难过
      劝我自己要振作 日子还是要过

      OS:
      那天晚上收到妳的分手信 我躲在棉被里偷哭
      但是我并不怪妳 因为我知道 让我变成男人的不是当兵
      而是妳离开我了

      Edited by eac 13 Nov `14, 11:19PM
  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,247 posts since Dec '99
  • Blackops 74's Avatar
    14 posts since Nov '12
    • It is very hard for me to accept, I love her too deeply and I cant seem to let it go. Furthermore I am currently in NS now and I really wanna be with her and spend more time with her.

       

      Just Lost and wanna make things work out again.

  • "newbie"'s Avatar
    215 posts since Jul '10
  • The Code's Avatar
    488 posts since Jul '14
  • Moderator
    Yunhaier's Avatar
    7,753 posts since Apr '01
    • Originally posted by Blackops 74:



      Hi All

      Currently I am serving NS. There's this girl whom was my previous poly classmate. We are together for 3 Years 2 months whom just called it quits with me over Family Related Issues and Time Commitment as I am currently in NS. And as I do shift work my weekends are not guranteed.

      She broke the news first to me via text as first saying she is considering our relationship as she was very stress with her studies, personal commitments, Family Issues as well as Extra Curricular Activities in school. We thrashed matters over massage as she was busy mugging for her Quizzes up in a few days time. I even dropped by her school to look for her unannounced to tell her how much I miss her and love her and we talked for a bit before she told me she needed a cooling period to cool off.

      Honestly I was devastated and smothered her with messages of how much I love and miss her daily and even called her but to no avail during the cooling off period. I know I should not have done this after consulting some of my friends.

      After 1 week she texted me saying she thought enough and that she came to a decision. That she don't think that we can ever resolve the issues that she thinks are problems in our relationship. I replied citing to meet up for her to break the news to me as a courtesy of our 3 years relationship and she agreed to the meet up after her upcoming exams.

      I asked her to allow me to buy her a meal when she came over for the agreed agenda. As I really love her and want to chase her back to be part of my life.

      Any Recommendations or advice you could give me to make this turnaround a success?

      icon_arrow.gif Certainty it sucks having to experience break-up during NS period - especially given that, though you may desire to spend more quality time with her, you are probably fettered by regimental constrains that shackle your time in a major way.

      She seemed to have made a calibrated decision and the mutual factors of physical and emotional distance would probably aid her to exit readily. Hence, your chances are probably slim - even if you win this single battle of 'winning her back' now - this relationship would not likely to survive a protracted war.    

      You are already doing your best in trying to secure a date with her insofar as you could brandish a fighting chance to convey what you need in hope of having to touch her enough to come back. However, my sense is that any attempt at behaving melodramatically (from you) is likely to reinforce the symbolic message that her choice (to leave this relationship) is more likely to be right than wrong.

      She does not actively appear to look for resolving problems in the relationship; she probably gave up trying to manage them and calls to abandon ship - with or without your consent.   

      P.S: You might feel bitter over this brutal callous reality that she chose to leave you at this juncture - but perhaps some love are akin to bubbles; they are not made to last forever and burst instantly in face of gnawing adversity.

      I am sure it is amazingly beautiful while it lasted. Unfortunately, we can't control when bubbles will disappear - just like we have no control over when love will crumble from within. icon_exclaim.gif   

      Cheers

      Edited by Yunhaier 15 Nov `14, 12:00AM
  • purpleXXXXX's Avatar
    20 posts since Aug '11
    • you love her but she obviously doesen’t love you . she obviously thinks youre some sort of burden in her life and getting rid of you would be much better for her life. she would feel more at ease.

      you get her back for??

                              to break up all over again?
                              

      well anyway if you wanna get back with her , maybe you can remind her of what shes got to lose if you and her break up for good. Love needs reminder …of the good times spent .. of what was done… . thats why some ppl break up and get back together in the end.

      thats what im doing .. coz im in the same situation as well…to get back my boyfriend of 2 years + whom i believe i really cant give up … & i can say im nearing success… since hes the one calling me to talk to me now. ^^

      cheers & good luck

      Edited by purpleXXXXX 16 Nov `14, 12:24AM
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by purpleXXXXX:

      you love her but she obviously doesen’t love you . she obviously thinks youre some sort of burden in her life and getting rid of you would be much better for her life. she would feel more at ease.

      you get her back for??

                              to break up all over again?
                              

      well anyway if you wanna get back with her , maybe you can remind her of what shes got to lose if you and her break up for good. Love needs reminder …of the good times spent .. of what was done… . thats why some ppl break up and get back together in the end.

      thats what im doing .. coz im in the same situation as well…to get back my boyfriend of 2 years + whom i believe i really cant give up … & i can say im nearing success… since hes the one calling me to talk to me now. ^^

      cheers & good luck

      He's calling u so he can dump u this time.

  • Blackops 74's Avatar
    14 posts since Nov '12
    • Originally posted by purpleXXXXX:

      you love her but she obviously doesen’t love you . she obviously thinks youre some sort of burden in her life and getting rid of you would be much better for her life. she would feel more at ease.

      you get her back for??

                              to break up all over again?
                                      
                              

      well anyway if you wanna get back with her , maybe you can remind her of what shes got to lose if you and her break up for good. Love needs reminder …of the good times spent .. of what was done… . thats why some ppl break up and get back together in the end.

      thats what im doing .. coz im in the same situation as well…to get back my boyfriend of 2 years + whom i believe i really cant give up … & i can say im nearing success… since hes the one calling me to talk to me now. ^^

      cheers & good luck

      I know that all what she is giving to me now are all excuses to start with. And as you mentioned getting rid of me so as to rid her of troubles. I wanna chase her back is because I really love her and I even though of having plans with her in the coming furture.

      From now until the time we will be meeting. I am putting all my effort into doing up a Jar of memories filled with 35 scroll to signify 35 days apart from each other. An on each scroll will be one memory of our happy times together. On top of that I am as well writing a letter to give her on that day as well as a poem.I hope this will be able to get her to reconsider as afterall its after her exams period and hopefully she will be able to think straight without any distractions.

       All the best for you as well ;) I'm sure you will be able to get back togehter with him ;)

      Edited by Blackops 74 19 Nov `14, 4:04PM
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • You should be focusing on potential losses, not past memories . 

      Living a fantasy is not conducive to gaining her confidence for a durable relationship.

      You can try. But you're going it the wrong way.

      Resolve the problems first. 

      I can see why she's giving up on you. 

      In your world she lives alone.

  • Blackops 74's Avatar
    14 posts since Nov '12
    • My problems had already been resolved. During this one month I have been looking into matters that my gf has mentioned as issues in our relationship. 

      Therefore during this one month we had little to no contact with each other. Hence hopefully when we meet up I will be able to share with her that I had looked into those problems and hopefully she will reconsider. 

      Althoogh i know the outcome might still be the same. But at least I walked away happy knowing I resolved issues that to her seemed impossible to resolve. 

  • Acidcat's Avatar
    52 posts since Aug '14
    • Don't have too high hopes ... When a relationship breaks even if repaired it just is not the same ... We seldom hear people divorce and marry the same guy again .

  • FindHomeTuition's Avatar
    398 posts since Nov '14
    • Hey man,

      Smothering her with love at this point ain't gonna bring her back to you. If you want her back, listen to my advice.

      Break it off with her, and don't contact her for the next 3 months. Go out and meet plenty of girls. Get new hobbies. Starting working hard to chase your dreams. She will start to see what she lost, and her attraction for you will increase again.

      There are plenty of fish in the sea. After 3 months, if you still love her, you can casually ask her out for coffee just to catch up. From there, if you've really become a better man, she will see it, and be receptive to you.

      I wish you the best.

  • drx's Avatar
    3,985 posts since Apr '05
    • If you want others to respect you TS then learn how to listern what the gal wants really want to say.

      Sticking to her like a glue will cause her to hate you more.

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