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bf still keeping stuff from ex-gf

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  • Cycloneeee's Avatar
    30 posts since Sep '13
    • Do guys normally keep stuff from their ex gfs like stuffed toys and letters etc? I found out that my current boyfriend still has his ex's sappy love notes and what not... from 3/4 years ago. Should i be concerned at all? 

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,256 posts since Dec '99
  • gunner77's Avatar
    41,025 posts since Apr '06
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,349 posts since Apr '07
    • Yes and no.

      It's not your problem, its his.

      He needed to be reminded someone loved him before.

      Probably  got dumped by his ex, i bet he's  not gonna admit it anyway.

      If you write him soapy love letters,  and dump him next week, he's gonna keep yours for the next 20 years too.

       

  • sgdiehard's Avatar
    5,269 posts since Jul '04
    • why is your bf still keeping stuff from his ex? this is the question you should ask.

      If he starts hugging his ex's stuff toys, whenever he quarrels with you, you ought to be concerned.

      If he smiles reading his ex's love letter, you should be concerned.

      In a relationship, it is wise to leave the past behind, start afresh and anew.

      If you need him to give you the assurance that he has you and you alone in his life now, you got to encourage him to throw away the past, the love letters the toys...or consider dumping him.

      unless, he keeps those letters as model love letters when he writes to you. and his ex is nothing but a good letter writer, she is probably taking pride in that.

  • Acidcat's Avatar
    52 posts since Aug '14
    • If he is a hoarder and lazy to pack type , means nothing much to worry . If he is the neat freak who hates having extra things , it means the letters keep a memory alive . Just tell him you feel uncomfortable with those items and ask him why he keeps them ? 

      Edited by Acidcat 28 Nov `14, 1:07AM
  • Cycloneeee's Avatar
    30 posts since Sep '13
    • Originally posted by sgdiehard:

      why is your bf still keeping stuff from his ex? this is the question you should ask.

      If he starts hugging his ex's stuff toys, whenever he quarrels with you, you ought to be concerned.

      If he smiles reading his ex's love letter, you should be concerned.

      In a relationship, it is wise to leave the past behind, start afresh and anew.

      If you need him to give you the assurance that he has you and you alone in his life now, you got to encourage him to throw away the past, the love letters the toys...or consider dumping him.

      unless, he keeps those letters as model love letters when he writes to you. and his ex is nothing but a good letter writer, she is probably taking pride in that.

      Sigh i dont know. He doesnt really hug those stuffed animals or anything its just always on his bed. And obviously he doesnt read those things in front of me. And i dont think he knows that i know that the stuffed animals were from his ex. And he doesnt know that i know about the letters because i chanced upon them by accident, and no i am not the sort who will invade someone else's privacy. All i know is that his ex meant alot to him and i dont even know if he is over her or not. And i dread confronting him over this issue because i am quite sure it will start another quarrel... 

  • sgdiehard's Avatar
    5,269 posts since Jul '04
    • Originally posted by Cycloneeee:

      Sigh i dont know. He doesnt really hug those stuffed animals or anything its just always on his bed. And obviously he doesnt read those things in front of me. And i dont think he knows that i know that the stuffed animals were from his ex. And he doesnt know that i know about the letters because i chanced upon them by accident, and no i am not the sort who will invade someone else's privacy. All i know is that his ex meant alot to him and i dont even know if he is over her or not. And i dread confronting him over this issue because i am quite sure it will start another quarrel... 

      The fact that he keeps the toys and letters show he hasn't forgetten the past. There is no problem if a person keeps something of the past for memory. The problem is that should his ex for one reason or another comes back to him, would he then dump you for her? are you now his true love or just a temporary stop gap?

      may be you can buy some stuffed toys and see if yours could replace the old ones overtime. Keep him a chance.

      But...for you, don't jump into a relationship, until you are absolutely clear you have a good ground to build the relationship! you need to protect yourself from being hurt.

      God bless.

  • Nashvy's Avatar
    5 posts since Dec '14
    • Talk to him ab0ut it. If he's willing to thr0w them, then you need n0t to worry. if n0t, he's still thinking ab0ut her or maybe he just d0n't kn0w what to do with th0se stuff.

  • WongFT's Avatar
    14 posts since Dec '14
    • 張學友

      忘記你我做不到

      作詞:陳家麗
      作曲:郭子
      編曲:屠穎

      有愛就有恨 或多或少
      有幸福就有煩惱 除非你都不要
      跟你的溫柔比較 一切變得不重要
      沒有你 分分秒秒 都是煎熬

      有愛就有恨 或多或少
      想一次白頭到老 說再見太潦草
      看你頭也不回的走掉 心裡像火燒
      分分秒秒 沒有你 管它艷陽高照

      忘記你我做不到 不去天涯海角 在我身邊就好
      要是承諾不可靠 是什麼讓我們擁抱
      忘記你我做不到 不去天涯海角 在我身邊就好
      如果愛是痛苦的泥沼 讓我們一起逃
  • GHoST_18's Avatar
    24,202 posts since Jun '03
    • do u still have memories of ur ex in your mind?

      do u remember how he looks like, what did u two do together etc?

      icon_lol.gif

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,256 posts since Dec '99
    • Originally posted by GHoST_18:

       

      do u remember how he looks like, what did u two do together etc?

      icon_lol.gif

      i rber how u look like and wat we have done together icon_redface.gif

  • GHoST_18's Avatar
    24,202 posts since Jun '03
  • chooyaochuen's Avatar
    135 posts since Nov '14
    • Firstly,  you should not be going through his personal items.

      To answer your question, I don't think its an issue at all. Nothing wrong with keeping sentimental items.

  • minxzhu's Avatar
    15 posts since Dec '14
    • i agree with sgdiehard. Try buying some soft toys for him to see if he will replace those toys for yours. After giving, try asking him where did he get those soft toys from. If he will tell you the truth, ask him for reasons of keeping. Let him know you are uncomfortable with him keeping these and see what he reply. If he hides from you...something must be wrong ugly.png

  • Clary's Avatar
    11 posts since Mar '12
    • This is tough.

      He probably keeps them as that girl was once an important part of his life, and he treasured it.
      It does not mean that he got dumped, it could mean that he ended it too, but regretted the decision partly. 
      You should not be afraid to talk to him about it, you should not be afraid to talk about delicate things with someone you love.

      If you see the point in doing so, then, help him get over it (:

      All the best! (:

  • Honesty_yes's Avatar
    10 posts since Jan '15
  • HerbSeller's Avatar
    43 posts since Jan '15
  • Death.an29's Avatar
    1 post since Feb '14
    • I once had an ex that keeps his photos of his ex-girl friend.

      Tbh, if he still keep his ex stuff and even keep contact... you know this relationship abit rocky/GG.icon_lol.gif

  • electivebible's Avatar
    10 posts since Jan '15
    • why keep ex stuff when it is an ex?

      of course unless it is something that is worth money

       

  • C3488890's Avatar
    1 post since Jan '15
    • it could be just for the memories. some guys are sentimental - remember that they broke up for a reason

  • sad maid's employer's Avatar
    9 posts since Jan '15
  • Spire Tutors's Avatar
    16 posts since Feb '15
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