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URGENT i need advice (me and a guy)

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  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • there's this guy he's really sweet and nice to me. went over to his placeand we made out. nothing much just kissing and cuddling. and i thought he really likes me but a month later, we drifted but i saw this coming. even so, we made out a couple of times too and then things escalated after some time even though we drifted bc we started talking again. he fingered me before but no we didn't fuck.

      a few days back he started to talk to me again and i was kinda annoyed w him bc he'll come to me when he needs something from me. and then he wanted to sext and send him a video of me fingering myself which i obv didn't. i never say much bc he's the horny one lol. he asked me to go over to his place but i managed to come out w excuses for the past few days. then yesterday he asked me to go over in the afternoon but i said no bc i had something on. he got kinda pissed bc i kept rejecting him and he said "do you want people to know i fingered you?" and "so you want people to know?" stuff like that. i had no choice so i went over. we didn't fuck or what but things is kinda bad and i want it to stop. i know he'll come back again but i don't know what to say to him. i went over ytd bc i had no choice he's somewhat threatening me by saying those kind of stuff (eg exposing me to others) what do i do?

      Edited by nonn.ahs 10 Sep `16, 7:41PM
  • Juojuo's Avatar
    1 post since Sep '16
    • Tell him you don't think he has the video? Even if he has the video and shows it to anyone, you at most you lose face. You show your chat logs to the police he go to jail. I mean unless hes retarded and would rather face jail time then I got nothing to say.

      Just my 2 cents hope someone else can help you on this matter good luck!

       

  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by Juojuo:

      Tell him you don't think he has the video? Even if he has the video and shows it to anyone, you at most you lose face. You show your chat logs to the police he go to jail. I mean unless hes retarded and would rather face jail time then I got nothing to say.

      Just my 2 cents hope someone else can help you on this matter good luck!

       

      besides the video what if he asks me to go over again next time? wat should i say to him

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
  • ^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~'s Avatar
    31,266 posts since Oct '02
    • cut off ties. report blackmail to police...

      keep evidence.

       

      if no evidence, then tell him that you will make a police report if he continue to harress you and that ultimately if there is any video leaking, he will go to jail because, you are underage at that time...

       

  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      cut off all ties with this guy. right now.

      how do i tell him? i wanna say more than just "i can't do this anymore bc i don't want to do this anymore"

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by ^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~:

      cut off ties. report blackmail to police...

      keep evidence.

       

      if no evidence, then tell him that you will make a police report if he continue to harress you and that ultimately if there is any video leaking, he will go to jail because, you are underage at that time...

       

      i'm pretty sure he don't have any videos. 80% sure only

      how to tell him to stay away?

    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      F**k off.

      do you think he'll say anything to anyone? bc his parents will kill him bc he said he'll be f**ked if his mum knows that he brought a girl home. plus it won't look good on him also what.. my mum will kill me man

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
    • since he oso need to save his own ass, i dont think he will be happy to be announcing to the whole world or what

      btw, what will he gain from this?

      probably just trying to scare u so u will give him what he wants

       

       

      so, be smart and get out asap

      Edited by FireIce 09 Sep `16, 7:56PM
  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      since he oso need to save his own ass, i dont think he will be happy to be announcing to the whole world or what

      btw, what will he gain from this?

      probably just trying to scare u so u will give him what he wants

       

       

      so, be smart and get out asap

      yeah i agree w you too

      bc the stuff he said through text will kinda look bad on him bc i never say anything THAT BAD that'll look really bad for me.

      i think it'll look bad for me bc i wasn't firm enough that's why this kind of things happen

      he won't tell people about it right? like it'll be kinda awkward for him to be like "hey xxx yknow i did xxxxx" bc it shows he got issues w his morals and stuff. 

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
    • u can report to the police if u think he is harassing and threatening u

      that is, if u are comfortable with providing the text convo as evidence 

       

       

      protect ur own ass 1st

      no have to be kind to this kind of ppl liao

  • Kg ng's Avatar
    12 posts since Sep '16
    • be firm and dont give in to him. otherwise it will give him the impression that he has succeeded and will continue to pester u. in the worst case, he will spread about fingering u but if u look at the bigger picture, this kind of thing typically happens during courtship and dates so it is really nothing to be shameful about as many girls would have gone thru it too. once he is tired of chasing, he will give up and move to next target. 

  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      u can report to the police if u think he is harassing and threatening u

      that is, if u are comfortable with providing the text convo as evidence 

       

       

      protect ur own ass 1st

      no have to be kind to this kind of ppl liao

      It’s not that severe to get the police involve plus police involved = mum involved and she’ll get a heart attack. Maybe I should try telling him that I’m not comfortable w him around anymore and I can’t do this anymore because I don’t want to? And if he continues to disturb me then see how to take things from there.

      What do you think? Or how can I phrase my words so I’ll sound more firm and serious about things?

    • Originally posted by Kg ng:

      be firm and dont give in to him. otherwise it will give him the impression that he has succeeded and will continue to pester u. in the worst case, he will spread about fingering u but if u look at the bigger picture, this kind of thing typically happens during courtship and dates so it is really nothing to be shameful about as many girls would have gone thru it too. once he is tired of chasing, he will give up and move to next target. 

      So tbh things not as bad as I thought it is right? I’m not sure though like he can say stuff that’s not true but the messages reflect that he’s actually the horny one so it’ll kinda look bad on him is it? 

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
  • Kg ng's Avatar
    12 posts since Sep '16
    • The best words to use is what comes from your heart and what you truly want to say to him. It does not have to be coated with a layer of honey so as not to make him angry or annoyed. The key thing is the way you would need to say it to him. It has to be assertive and to show that is the stand you are going to make. Still, it all very much depends on him. If he is stubbron as a mule, it means no matter what u say, it will never get into that thick fat head of his.  

  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      how about just stop replying

      we aren't talking for now but idk if i should draw the line across like tell him face to face or when he asks me again then i tell him?

      and if i ignore him he'll be angry and stuff maybe he'll act harshly? idk :/

    • Originally posted by Kg ng:

      The best words to use is what comes from your heart and what you truly want to say to him. It does not have to be coated with a layer of honey so as not to make him angry or annoyed. The key thing is the way you would need to say it to him. It has to be assertive and to show that is the stand you are going to make. Still, it all very much depends on him. If he is stubbron as a mule, it means no matter what u say, it will never get into that thick fat head of his.  

      it's best to tell him in person right? i guess he's kinda stubborn but it depends on the situation though

      so i just have to say that i cannot do this anymore bc i'm not comfortable doing it?

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
    • huh? u still wanna meet????

       

      if he is also keeping quiet, most prob oredi gave up (bcos he's not getting what he wants) or oredi traumatising someone else....... 
      or maybe the mom found out. hahaha!

  • Kg ng's Avatar
    12 posts since Sep '16
    • FireIce has a point. if he is aldy keeping mum, then just leave it be. Unless he pester u again, then only talk to him. Obviously face to face will have the added intensity and emotional factor and you can use this to your advantage to pressure him to give it up. But i am not sure if you are an emotionally strong or meek person so it really depends.

  • nonn.ahs's Avatar
    26 posts since Sep '16
    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      huh? u still wanna meet????

       

      if he is also keeping quiet, most prob oredi gave up (bcos he's not getting what he wants) or oredi traumatising someone else....... 
      or maybe the mom found out. hahaha!

      he's from my school so like maybe during school hours or what

      no la the last time it happened was a few days ago.. after that we never talk so i'm pretty sure he'll come to me when he wants to you know.. 

    • Originally posted by Kg ng:

      FireIce has a point. if he is aldy keeping mum, then just leave it be. Unless he pester u again, then only talk to him. Obviously face to face will have the added intensity and emotional factor and you can use this to your advantage to pressure him to give it up. But i am not sure if you are an emotionally strong or meek person so it really depends.

      so i'll tell him the stuff i mentioned in my previous reply if he asks me again? i guess i'm able to handle a face to face situation hahaha

  • Kg ng's Avatar
    12 posts since Sep '16
    • Yes, you go girl. Just think of this as a small blip in your journey of life. There are things which are far worse that others have to go thru.  

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    264,280 posts since Dec '99
    • if u are sure tt u wun be soft-hearted when u see him then it will be good to talk face to face

      but make sure there are some people nearby (not that close to allow them to eavesdrop but if something happen, u can raise some attention to scare him off)

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