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Girl acting as guy in relationship

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  • Sandy17sandy17's Avatar
    155 posts since Dec '11
    • letting go of it already. what is in the past remains in the past.

      Edited by Sandy17sandy17 24 Apr `12, 10:05PM
  • M874's Avatar
    150 posts since Oct '11
  • Sandy17sandy17's Avatar
    155 posts since Dec '11
  • AnaxandraAvenel's Avatar
    41 posts since Dec '11
    • I think if he wasn't into it enough to fight for the r/s, then you probably could find a better guy who cherishes you and listens to your fears and insecurities and try to do something about it. It kind of sounds like he's taking you for granted. 

  • AIex's Avatar
    43 posts since Oct '11
  • winsomeea's Avatar
    2,318 posts since Sep '11
    • This sort of guy not worthy to keep.

      They just want their own way and ignore the gf.     Refuse to sort out problems.

      It is ok you initiated the breakup.

      He is not for you, move on!

  • M874's Avatar
    150 posts since Oct '11
    • Originally posted by Sandy17sandy17:

      M874, I'm not sure... .bcause compared to other girls, I Seem to be taking too much initiative.. .I still feel clueless


      Me too, just cant control myself....haiz...big problem...I think that might bcos we havent met the right guy...

  • [imdestinyz]'s Avatar
    1,361 posts since Jan '11
    • i tink TS and M probably haven met the right guy lo... it is ok to take the initiative... but the guy must also know wad to do and he once in a while he shld actually take the initiative too. R/S requires both sides to make the effort ma... 1 sided is definitely gonna be a goner.

  • Pathfinder07's Avatar
    35 posts since Aug '11
    • Originally posted by Sandy17sandy17:

      I'll go straight to the point. I know that communication is important between two people in a relationship.Knowing this, I made sure that my relationship had no communication problems. When I had doubts or insecurities, I'll tell him about it.

      I admit that I had a lot of insecurities in this relationship.This is because I am a girl.I take the initiative ALL the time. Meeting time, venue ,activity. And when there was any problem in the relationship, I was the one who will take the inititaive to clear the mess. After a year and a half, it became disturbing for me. I began to wonder if he really likes me,if this is a one-sided relationship.

      Yes, i told him about what I typed above. But he still doesn't take the initiative.It doesn't work. We don't even meet every two weeks.He doesn't bother to call or text me at all.How can I not be insecure?I end up compromising for him most of the time.Like,I sent him home when I was supposed to be studying for promos.

      [luckily, my results were fine, but it wasn't as good as it shld be]

      I broke up with him. 700+ days down the drain. The breakup lasted <5min.

      Me: lets break up

      Him:ok,expressionless

       

      .....so girls shouldn't take initiative, huh?


      Hey I guess you're just with a guy that don't really know how to treasure you as his girlfriend, allow me to say something though. Give time time and you'll get over him over sometime, life is short to be upset over this kind of jerk and once you get over him, I believe that you'll find someone way better than him and someone who knows how to treasure you and treat properly as a girlfriend.Cheers.

  • melodymaker's Avatar
    117 posts since Jul '11
    • Originally posted by Pathfinder07:


      Hey I guess you're just with a guy that don't really know how to treasure you as his girlfriend, allow me to say something though. Give time time and you'll get over him over sometime, life is short to be upset over this kind of jerk and once you get over him, I believe that you'll find someone way better than him and someone who knows how to treasure you and treat properly as a girlfriend.Cheers.

       

      To Sandy17sandy17 and Pathfinder07

      Agree with you, and the same thing happened to me, its just vice versa,  I always thought why couldn't she even seem to care when it all started out well in the first place. Now I have to do everything in order to keep the relationship healthy until i realized that when only one person commits into a relationship it is already unhealthy and waste of time.

       

      Time will totally heal you if you're going to leave him, but it depends if he wishes to get back on to his feet and take care of you, mutural understanding is necessary

       

       

  • Sandy17sandy17's Avatar
    155 posts since Dec '11
  • DailyFreeGames.com's Avatar
    2,931 posts since Nov '05
    • If you are a girl with initiative, can date me? I love girls with initiatives... I'll pay for everything, no hanky panky, pm me if u ok. i am serious!

  • winsomeea's Avatar
    2,318 posts since Sep '11
    • Sandy, don't waste bandwidth can?   Just carry on your sorrow or whatever in this same thread, no need waste bandwidth create the one in Aunt Agony now.

      What is so great about him that is taking up your time to even be bothered to stalk him in facebook?

      Come on, there are so many guys out there, why waste time on one who is not interested in you.   For all you know, he just regard you as 自己送上门  you throw yourself at him and he just accept you coz he no need to put in effort for whatever reasons only he knows.

      WAke up la!

  • AIex's Avatar
    43 posts since Oct '11
    • Originally posted by Sandy17sandy17:


      Hmm actually I went on to say that we were not compatible....

      he said: I think so too.

      I feel sad after hearing this. .so he had no qualms about breaking up with me in the first place..haiz..

      I asked him out on the first date.I am also the one who ended the relationship.Damn.

      It seems like he didn't put in a lot of time or effort into the relationship, so it's not surprising that he had no qualms about breaking up. On the other hand, you're very much hurt for all the things you've done for him being unreciprocated.

      I know you're upset, and it's the I-have-done-everything-right-but-why-does-it-still-end-up-this-way kind of upset. It's not a bad thing to take the initiative, but have you ever thought that if you're doing it all the time, he may not have enough opportunities to play his part in the relationship?

      Instead of doing everything on your own, have you tried proding and trusting him to do some of it (and also not ending up doing it for him if he's not doing it himself)? Maybe he did try taking the initiative before, but you had unintentionally put him down and discouraged him from doing so (it's possible given that you're pretty strong-headed, or at least that's how you appear to me).

      Anyway, the relationship is over. Spend some time thinking about what else might have went wrong and make sure not to make the same mistakes in your next relationship. Then get over it. Just know that there will always be a guy out there waiting for you to appear in his life.

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    246,134 posts since Dec '99
    • too much assumption tt in a rship tt it must be the guy who takes initiative. 

      yes, maybe his character the passive type, or the 随便 type or simply is just want to let u decide and he play a long, in case u have conflicting ideas and end up quarrel. 

      since so long oredi shd be more or less used to it
      or able to work around it

       

       

      but anyway, since it has ended, then just move on.

  • Sandy17sandy17's Avatar
    155 posts since Dec '11
  • Rock^Star's Avatar
    11,142 posts since Jul '05
    • Your 700++ days of r/s will not be in vain. It will only sharpen your eyes when you see a prospective husband in future. Cheers.

  • Sandy17sandy17's Avatar
    155 posts since Dec '11
    • Originally posted by Rock^Star:

      Your 700++ days of r/s will not be in vain. It will only sharpen your eyes when you see a prospective husband in future. Cheers.

      Yup, sharper eyes now .I'll take it as part of growing up emotionally.

      Edited by Sandy17sandy17 04 May `12, 12:39AM
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