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How to say no to a persistent male admirer

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  • PassiveIncome1's Avatar
    345 posts since Dec '08
    • Subject: Pungent Female Putdowns


      Man:   "Haven't we met before?"

      Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."


      Man:   "Haven't I seen you someplace before?

      Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."


      Man:    "Is this seat empty?"

      Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."


      Man:   "Your place or mine?"

      Woman: "Both.  You go to yours and I'll go to mine."


      Man:   "I'd like to call you.  What's your number?"

      Woman: "It's in the phone book."

      Man:   "But I don't know your name!!"

      Woman: "That's in the phone book too."


      Man:    "So what do you do for a living?"

      Woman:  "I'm a female impersonator."


      Man:   "What sign were you born under?"

      Woman: "No Parking."


      Man:   "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

      Woman: "Do not Enter"


      Man:   "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

      Woman: "Unfertilized !"


      Man:   "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

      Woman: "Yeah!  Let's pick up some chicks!"


      Man:   "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."

      Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"


      Man:   "I know how to please a woman."

      Woman: "Then please leave me alone."


      Man:   "I want to give myself to you."

      Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."


      Man:   "I can tell that you want me."

      Woman: "Ohhhh.  You're so right.  I want you to leave."


      Man:   "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy"

      Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."


      Man:   "Your body is like a temple."

      Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."


      Man:   "I'd go through anything for you."

      Woman: "Good!  Let's start with your bank account."


      Man:   "I would go to the end of the world for you.

      Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

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