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What is wrong with lawyer jokes?- Without malice :p

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  • BadzMaro's Avatar
    33,748 posts since Apr '04
    • Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

      1. Lawyer and Engineer

        A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean when they got
      to talking. The lawyer mentioned, "I'm here because my house burned
      down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid
      for everything."

             "That's quite a coincidence," remarked the engineer. "I'm here
      because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My
      insurance company, too, paid for everything."

        There was a brief pause, and then the puzzled lawyer asked, "How do
      you start a flood?"

        2.  Fair and Square

        Taking his seat in chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.
      "I have been presented by both of you with a bribe," the judge began.
       Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.

             "You, Attorney Leoni, gave me $15,000. And you, Attorney
      Campos, gave me $10,000."

            The judge reached in his pocket a pulled out a check, which he
      handed to Leoni.

        "Now, then, I'm returning $5,000, and we are going to decide this
      case solely on its merits."

        3. I'm Innocent!

          "How is it that you can't get a lawyer to defend you?" the judge
      asked the prisoner.

               "Well, yer honor, it's like this. As soon as those lawyers
      found out I didn't steal the money, they wouldn't have anything  to do
      with me."

        4. Lawyer on Vacation

          A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking
      through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large
      crowd gathered by the side of the road. Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there
      was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured
      parties but couldn't get near the car.

        Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through!
      Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

        The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.



  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,238 posts since May '05
  • M the name's Avatar
    1,763 posts since Mar '09
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