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LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

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  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
    • CHICKEN

      The young chicken asks the older Chicken: “How come we don’t have individual names like the human beings like John, Charlie, Peter…We are all Chickens”.

      The older Chicken: “when they are alive, they have names. When they are dead, they are all Corpses”.

      “We are the opposite, when we are dead, we have our names…........Fried Chicken, Roasted Chicken, BBQ Chicken, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Chicken McNuggets, Chicken Chop and many more”.

  • Makiyo Monroe Lee's Avatar
    8 posts since Jun '17
    • Ha ha ha.

      Joke shared by my friend last Feb for CNY.. year of the chick. Thanks anyway huh.

  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,239 posts since May '05
    • Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:

      CHICKEN

      The young chicken asks the older Chicken: “How come we don’t have individual names like the human beings like John, Charlie, Peter…We are all Chickens”.

      The older Chicken: “when they are alive, they have names. When they are dead, they are all Corpses”.

      “We are the opposite, when we are dead, we have our names…........Fried Chicken, Roasted Chicken, BBQ Chicken, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Chicken McNuggets, Chicken Chop and many more”.

  • Giorson Parsey's Avatar
    61 posts since Dec '17
  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
    • When I was young I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance examination, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets

      P  N  E  I  S

      and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when straight.

      Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are my friends...

      icon_biggrin.gif

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 04 Jan `18, 11:23AM
    • THE THREE DOLLS IN A MAN’S LIFE ARE:

      1. His Daughter, ‘Baby Doll’

      2. His Girlfriend, ‘Barbie Doll’

      3. And his Wife, ‘Panadol’

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 04 Jan `18, 8:22AM
    • TWO GOLDEN RULES TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

      1.   The wife is always right.

      2.   When you feel she is wrong, slap yourself and read rule number one again.

    • I NEED DIRECTION

      A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it.

      He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there.

      The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

      The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

      He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.

      At last he decided to drive a few miles away...turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat.

      Hours later....the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?"

      "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.

      Frustrated the man said, "Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need direction!!!"

      icon_biggrin.gif

  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,239 posts since May '05
    • Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:

      I NEED DIRECTION

      A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it.

      He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there.

      The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

      The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

      He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.

      At last he decided to drive a few miles away...turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat.

      Hours later....the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?"

      "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.

      Frustrated the man said, "Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need direction!!!"

      icon_biggrin.gif

  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
    • WEDDING CEREMONY

      At a wedding ceremony the priest asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on, it was time to stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace

      The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a baby.

      She started slowly walking toward the pastor.

      Everything quickly turned to chaos.

      The bride slapped the groom and stormed out of the church.

      The groom's mother fainted.

      The groom's men and bride's maids ran away in all directions.

      The priest asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"

      The woman replied, "I can't hear anything from the back...so I am moving to the front seats."

       

    • JOB INTERVIEW

      An Office Manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.

      After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified - an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Gujarati from India.

      He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

      The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,

      "What is the fastest thing you know?"

      Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

      "That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

      "And now your sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmmm...let me see. "A Blink". It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is fastest thing I know."

      "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed."

      He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply."Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

      The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man.

      "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

      Turning to Patel, the chap from India, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

      Patel replied (in his Gujju accent!): "Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et's obius to me dat the fastest thing is "DIARRHOEA".

      "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

      The others were already giggling in their seats...

      "Oh, I can expleyn sir", said Patel.

      "You see, ser, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I ran so fast to the baatrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I alreadi done it!"

      Patel is now the new "Office Manager" at Wal-Mart in Washington...

    • PAY ATTENTION

      A group of Students were attending their first Biochemistry Class. 

      They all gathered around the Lab table with a Urine sample.

      The Professor dip His Finger in the urine sample and tasted it in his own mouth.

      Then he asked the Students to do the same.

      The Students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every one dipped their finger in the urine sample and tasted it...

      When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The most important Quality is 'Observation'. I dipped my Middle Finger but tasted the Index Finger. Today you just learn how to Pay Attention."

      smile.pngsmile.pngsmile.png

    • MORTAL KOMBAT ELEVATOR PRANK!

       

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W8hsVvyKt4

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmAPR76dbkQ

       

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 08 Jan `18, 10:25PM
    • Diarrhea in the elevator Prank

       

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afR7py5pLF8

  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,239 posts since May '05
    • Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:

      WEDDING CEREMONY

      At a wedding ceremony the priest asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on, it was time to stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace

      The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a baby.

      She started slowly walking toward the pastor.

      Everything quickly turned to chaos.

      The bride slapped the groom and stormed out of the church.

      The groom's mother fainted.

      The groom's men and bride's maids ran away in all directions.

      The priest asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"

      The woman replied, "I can't hear anything from the back...so I am moving to the front seats."

       

  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
  • SooChia's Avatar
    11 posts since Jan '18
  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
    • CAR BLESSING

      A young man just bought a brand new car. He wishes for good luck and safety for his brand new car and himself. He decided to send his brand new car to holy men for car blessing so that nothing will happen to his new car. 

      First holy man, meditated and chanted some mantras. Then gave him a small pendant to hang inside the new car.

      Second holy man, chanted some mantras then threw some yellow rices over his new car.

      Third holy man, said some prayers and sprinkled some holy water over his new car.

      Fourth holy man, said some prayers. Then he took out a saw and cut the exhaust pipe of the brand new car to circumcise it and then bandage it.

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 19 Jan `18, 9:49PM
  • GHoST_18's Avatar
    24,209 posts since Jun '03
  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
    • THE MAIL

      A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided .to send a mail to his wife.

      He accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's funeral.

      The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted.

      The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

      "To my loving wife, I know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones I've just checked in. How are you and the kids? The place is really nice but am lonely here. I have made necessary arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can't wait to see you."

  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,239 posts since May '05
    • Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:

      THE MAIL

      A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided .to send a mail to his wife.

      He accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's funeral.

      The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted.

      The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

      "To my loving wife, I know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones I've just checked in. How are you and the kids? The place is really nice but am lonely here. I have made necessary arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can't wait to see you."

  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,305 posts since Feb '05
    • LOVE DEFINITION

      Love is like a pair of slippers. If it doesn’t break, one day it will be stolen by people.

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