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LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

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  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,241 posts since Feb '05
    • A group of friends were sitting on a bench in the park. There were three guys and a girl. They were having casual talks and joking, then a stranger came to them and said, “Hey, I see you all having fun and good time. I like to be your friend and join you.”

      “Sure! Why not”, replied one of the guy and introduced himself.

      “Wan” and shook hand with the stranger. The stranger shook hand and said, “Hello” as he got to know them.

      Second guy, “Man”, shook hand.

      Third guy, “Pok” and shook hand.

      The girl, “Mie” and offer her hand to shake hand with the stranger. Instead of shaking hand, the stranger came close and poke her tummy. She was so surprised and jumped up. She said, “Hey, why you do that? That is very rude and I can make a police report against you for molesting me!”

      The stranger replied, “Oh! I’m sorry. I thought you want man to poke you. I’m a man so I poke you. By the way my name is LAH”, and sat next to her.

      Then another man came and wanted to know the group. His name is OKI.

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 23 Jan `18, 6:39PM
  • Sylviasylvia's Avatar
    11 posts since Jan '18
  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,241 posts since Feb '05
    • A SCIENCE CLASS

      3 worms were place into 3 separate jars.

      The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.

      The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.

      The third worm was put into a jar of soil.

      After one day, these were the results:

      The first worm in alcohol….dead.

      The second worm in cigarette smoke…..dead.

      The third worm in soil…..alive!!

      So the science teacher asked the class, “What can you learn from this experiment?”

      Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said:

      “As long as you drink ALCOHOL and smoke, you won’t have worms in your stomach.”

      CHEERS!

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 07 Feb `18, 1:09AM
    • BOSS in office: Okay guys, today we are going to play a game...

      When I say a name of the fruit, you run to the right side of the hall...

      And when I say any colour, you run to the left side of the hall...

      One who runs on wrong side will not get the increase in salary...got it?

      Employees: Yes Boss! Got it!

      Boss: Okay...Ready...Set...."ORANGE!"

      Employees: angry.png sad.png confused.png ugly.png

      None of them make a move because all of them blur what is that ORANGE!

    • A plane did an emergency landing on the water. The stewardess wanna let the passengers slide down to the lifeboats but the passsengers refused.

      The stewardess seek help from the captain. The very knowledgeable captain said…

      “You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE. Tell the British this is an HONOUR. Tell the French this is ROMANTIC. Tell the Germans this is the LAW. Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER. And all shall be sorted out.”

      The stewardess asked awkwardly, “Then how about the Chinese?”

      The captain laughed.,.”Easy, just tell them it is FREE.”

      The stewardess suddenly recalled, “There are a few Singaporeans!”

      The captain patiently explained, “You need not tell Singaporeans anything, they will follow wherever there is a Queue.”

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 29 Jan `18, 2:35PM
    • Massage Prank (Gone Wild) Kissing Hot Girls On the Beach!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHNocwJTVrU

      icon_eek.gif icon_biggrin.gif 

  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,226 posts since May '05
    • Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:

      A plane did an emergency landing on the water. The stewardess wanna let the passengers slide down to the lifeboats but the passsengers refused.

      The stewardess seek help from the captain. The very knowledgeable captain said…

      “You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE. Tell the British this is an HONOUR. Tell the French this is ROMANTIC. Tell the Germans this is the LAW. Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER. And all shall be sorted out.”

      The stewardess asked awkwardly, “Then how about the Chinese?”

      The captain laughed.,.”Easy, just tell them it is FREE.”

      The stewardess suddenly recalled, “There are a few Singaporeans!”

      The captain patiently explained, “You need not tell Singaporeans anything, they will follow wherever there is a Queue.”

  • FirstCom Solutions's Avatar
    1 post since Jan '18
    • Let International Healing Centre help you and your family to stay healthy this coming Chinese New Year! Regular health checks help you to detect silent killers before they become difficult to treat. Don’t wait for your body to fail quietly. Take charge of your health today with our complimentary health review!

      Call us at +65 9298 4116 to book an appointment for you and your loved ones now!

  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,241 posts since Feb '05
    • HOTDOG

      Two China men went to visit their American friend in New York City in the U.S.

      After visiting all the places of interests in that famous and huge city, they requested their American friend to introduce to them American’s favourite street fast food.

      The American immediately brought them to the nearest Hotdog food stand on the street.

      He ordered three Hotdogs.

      The American ate the hotdog like as though its the best fast food in the world. The two China men hesitated to eat at first but after watching their American friend eating happily and enjoying his hotdog, they started licking it and then took small bites on it slowly.

      The American asked, “You like it eh? Its delicious right!”

      First Chinaman, “Not bad its delicious!”

      Second Chinaman, “Yes! Delicious! But in China we don’t eat this part”, pointing his finger along the hotdog length stuffed between the long bun.

      The American was puzzled, “What do you mean..’this part?’”

      First Chinaman replied, “Back in China we eat dogs too.”

      And then the Second Chinaman said, “But back in China we do not eat the dog’s penis.”

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 07 Feb `18, 1:07AM
    • TAXI

      Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

      The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again.

      He told them, “We have reached.”

      The first guy gave him money and the second guy said, “Thank you.”

      The third guy gave the driver a slap.

      The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk guy knew what he did.

      The driver asked, “Whats that for?”

      The third drunk guy replied, “Next time drive slowly.”

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 07 Feb `18, 1:05AM
    • A COWBOY AND A LESBIAN

      A cowboy is sitting in a park bench when a woman comes and sits down next to him.

      She looks at his hat and boots. She says, “Are you a real cowboy?”

      He answers, “Well, I’ve worked on ranches tending cows and horses all my life. So yep, I guess I’m a real cowboy.”

      She thinks for a moment and then says, “I’m a lesbian. I think about women when I wake up. I think about them all day long. And I think about them when I’m going to sleep.”

      After they talk a little more she gets up and leaves.

      Some time later a man comes along and sits down next to the cowboy on the bench, checks him out, and asks, “Are you really a cowboy?”

      “Well,” he answers, “I used to think I was but now I think I’m a lesbian.”

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 07 Feb `18, 1:05AM
    • Shame you don't have one like this

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 07 Feb `18, 1:03AM
    • Image result for CPF SMELL HERE

    • ...They do not go to private doctors. They do not increase the country's GDP! On the contrary, every new McDonald's outlet creates 30 jobs: 10 Dentists, 10 Cardiologists and 10 Weight Loss Experts. So, what do you prefer - Cycling or McDonald?

    • Omg! What This Cat Doing To Its Drowsy Human Is Freaking Weird

      http://www.metacafe.com/watch/11533418/omg-what-this-cat-doing-to-its-drowsy-human-is-freaking-weird/

    • PASSWORD

      A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, “Mypenis”, and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,

      “Error. Not long enough.”

      Edited by zulkifli mahmood 14 Feb `18, 4:42PM
    • Why men prefer young women than old women. The picture explains it all.

      The old and the young and the donut.

    • Hilarious Southwest Flight Attendant

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07LFBydGjaM

    • Image result for jokes about dogs

  • NeverSayGoodBye's Avatar
    8,226 posts since May '05
    • Originally posted by zulkifli mahmood:

      TAXI

      Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

      The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again.

      He told them, “We have reached.”

      The first guy gave him money and the second guy said, “Thank you.”

      The third guy gave the driver a slap.

      The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk guy knew what he did.

      The driver asked, “Whats that for?”

      The third drunk guy replied, “Next time drive slowly.”

  • zulkifli mahmood's Avatar
    6,241 posts since Feb '05
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