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Why couples delay parenthood

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  • Clivebenss's Avatar
    20,240 posts since Feb '10
    • Jul 29, 2011- ST Forum

      LAST weekend's Saturday Special report ('Late (great) expectations') was disappointing as it blamed couples, especially the woman, for Singapore's declining birth rate and delayed parenthood.

      Couples delay parenthood for good reason.

      A young Singaporean will complete junior college only at the age of 18 and tertiary education at probably 23.

      Add two more years for the young man to do national service.

      Will a rational individual think of marriage and parenthood when he probably cannot even support himself?

      An average Singaporean who takes a student loan must also add two more years to settle it, assuming he finds a job immediately after graduation.

      By the time he is financially stable to support a spouse, he will be in his late 20s.

      Then there is the search for a partner and the courtship process, which also takes time.

      After that comes the question of setting up home, perhaps by applying for a build-to-order flat.

      They must get the flat if they intend to marry or they may not be able to afford one by the time they do, given the atrocious cash-over-valuation demand of the resale market.

      They must wait three or more years for balloting results, construction of the flat, acquiring keys and flat renovation. Having children can come only after a couple have a roof over their heads. As responsible parents, they want to ensure a proper home to care for another precious life.

      Will couples even consider having babies if they must live apart, without a proper home to call their own?

      Not all couples can live with their in-laws, taking into account that most of us live in small flats.

      Having babies is more than just about satisfying statistics and we should not blame couples for delaying parenthood.

      Jenna Cai (Miss)

       

  • TIB783G's Avatar
    2,497 posts since Jun '11
  • mancha's Avatar
    8,961 posts since Sep '04
    • These couples want the government to hold their hands, in employment, enjoyment and starting a family. Because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.

      They are afraid, they cannot make it. Kia su, kia see, kia lang,

      They do not want to try, because they are trained from childhood to be provided for.

      Those who have broken of from that mentality, have soared, living in condos, having multiple cars, having two kids or more.

      There is a simple thing called "Live within your means" .

      Many practice that, and then build up from there. They don't make noise.

      The noise makers are the ones who want to swallow more than they can chew, and then start pointing fingers when they cannot.

       

       

       

  • Alloy13's Avatar
    120 posts since Jul '11
    • Originally posted by mancha:

      These couples want the government to hold their hands, in employment, enjoyment and starting a family. Because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.

      They are afraid, they cannot make it. Kia su, kia see, kia lang,

      They do not want to try, because they are trained from childhood to be provided for.

      Those who have broken of from that mentality, have soared, living in condos, having multiple cars, having two kids or more.

      There is a simple thing called "Live within your means" .

      Many practice that, and then build up from there. They don't make noise.

      The noise makers are the ones who want to swallow more than they can chew, and then start pointing fingers when they cannot.

       

       

      Couples are blaming the government for this? Isn't it the other way around?

      Since when did couples care about satisfying statistics that only the government concern themselves with?

  • mancha's Avatar
    8,961 posts since Sep '04
    • Since when are statistics to be satisfied?

      What are statistics used for?

      With your preoccupation with statistics, you fail to see what the author is getting at.

  • cyberr1981's Avatar
    1,567 posts since Oct '06
  • Alloy13's Avatar
    120 posts since Jul '11
    • Originally posted by mancha:

      Since when are statistics to be satisfied?

      What are statistics used for?

      With your preoccupation with statistics, you fail to see what the author is getting at.

      Enlighten me your Highness. The author is saying couples are not to be blamed. You are stating the contrary.

      About your phrase 'living within your means'... Ever considered the child as part of the equation? A poor couple cannot afford to raise a child, due to the financial constraints listed by OP. So, should they give up absolute necessities, such as food and accomodation, so that they can raise a child? I fail to see how stating 'living within your means' substantiates anything you are saying. You seem to be making it a rule that couples MUST have children early (almost like a legal obligation), while everything else takes second place.

      Who is 'making noise' anyway? Miss Jenna Cai? She isn't 'making noise'. She is defending attached women against allegations made in the Saturday Special report.
       The only 'noise' made is by author of the Saturday Special report.

  • stuffedbears's Avatar
    263 posts since Dec '08
    • it was a simple statement of the reasons as to why singapore fertility rates are so low. i don't see how it's related to singaporean's dependence on the government.

       

      many developed countries are facing the same porblem of declining birth rates. so it's not surprising that singapore is facing the same. especially with the rising costs of living, the increasing competitivenness and the loss of job security in the market.

       

      if singaporeans want to wait till they have the proper means to provide a favourable environment to bring their children up in, i don't see why they should have to get flak for it...

       

       

  • icare's Avatar
    126 posts since Jun '11
    • The government have a very good solution to this problem, that is to bring in cheaper foreigners to make up for the shortfall of babies

  • Alloy13's Avatar
    120 posts since Jul '11
    • Originally posted by stuffedbears:

      it was a simple statement of the reasons as to why singapore fertility rates are so low. i don't see how it's related to singaporean's dependence on the government.

       

      many developed countries are facing the same porblem of declining birth rates. so it's not surprising that singapore is facing the same. especially with the rising costs of living, the increasing competitivenness and the loss of job security in the market.

       

      if singaporeans want to wait till they have the proper means to provide a favourable environment to bring their children up in, i don't see why they should have to get flak for it...

       

      Agreed =)

  • mancha's Avatar
    8,961 posts since Sep '04
    • Originally posted by Alloy13:

      Enlighten me your Highness. The author is saying couples are not to be blamed. You are stating the contrary.

      About your phrase 'living within your means'... Ever considered the child as part of the equation? A poor couple cannot afford to raise a child, due to the financial constraints listed by OP. So, should they give up absolute necessities, such as food and accomodation, so that they can raise a child? I fail to see how stating 'living within your means' substantiates anything you are saying. You seem to be making it a rule that couples MUST have children early (almost like a legal obligation), while everything else takes second place.

      Who is 'making noise' anyway? Miss Jenna Cai? She isn't 'making noise'. She is defending attached women against allegations made in the Saturday Special report.
       The only 'noise' made is by author of the Saturday Special report.

      The two collumists have presented their views on the issue.

      I am saying the couples want hand holding from the government, this is in response to the Miss Jenna Cai article. I also mentioned that many couples have exercised prudence in planning their lives. What enlightenment do you want?

      So Miss Cai say the couples are not to be blamed, then? She is writing in response to the article in ST Saturday forum.

      If I seemed to be making it a rule that couples must have babies early, they I am also entitled to say that you seemed to be saying that the government is responsible to see to it that the couples have babies. This is called putting words into peoples mouth.

      If you have animosity with the government, thats your perogative, but please don't let that colour your judgment of other people's view that are not amiable with your's.

       

  • Blacktron's Avatar
    75 posts since Jul '11
    • Heng got some malays and indian have very big family if not our fertility rates are lower.

                              I know some malays their family gt 4 to 5. Very rare in Singapore chinese. Want to increase birthrates can follow europe ask muslims to emigrate to Singapore and be new citizens.
                              
                              Muslims are known for very big family. My neighbour got 4 kids and is a malay muslim.
                              
      Edited by Blacktron 31 Jul `11, 3:36PM
  • Aneslayer's Avatar
    1,511 posts since May '11
  • Blacktron's Avatar
    75 posts since Jul '11
  • Fcukpap's Avatar
    7,290 posts since Dec '09
  • Aneslayer's Avatar
    1,511 posts since May '11
  • Alloy13's Avatar
    120 posts since Jul '11
    • Originally posted by mancha:

      The two collumists have presented their views on the issue.

      I am saying the couples want hand holding from the government, this is in response to the Miss Jenna Cai article. I also mentioned that many couples have exercised prudence in planning their lives. What enlightenment do you want?

      So Miss Cai say the couples are not to be blamed, then? She is writing in response to the article in ST Saturday forum.

      If I seemed to be making it a rule that couples must have babies early, they I am also entitled to say that you seemed to be saying that the government is responsible to see to it that the couples have babies. This is called putting words into peoples mouth.

      If you have animosity with the government, thats your perogative, but please don't let that colour your judgment of other people's view that are not amiable with your's.

       

      So who is making noise? The columnist or Ms Cai?

      Is it not true that the columnist is blaming couples for the low birth rates?

      When did I say that the government is responsible for this issue? I merely mentioned the fact that Ms Cai is saying couples are not to be blamed for this, contrary to the columnist. What we are talking about is whether couples are to blamed for this, we are not trying to find someone else to take the blame.

      Please read my post again before making judgements. Putting words in your mouth? Quote those words.

       

  • Gerberad's Avatar
    341 posts since Apr '11
    • seriously man they think the $3k is alot, but it is NOT!!! inflation so high everything so expensive , all the things u must buy before the baby comes along and the 3k is gone!

  • DrLanguagereborn's Avatar
    23 posts since Jul '11
    • It is because a lot of sg woman want to have career like us guys. What to do?

       

      If we guys can get pregnant then maybe lifestyle can change but this is how it is, woman is the childbearer.

       

      So many woman who want career normaly postpone marriage and childbirth. To make matters worse, they become so successful that it basically nullifies men who earn less than them, as potentual suitors. So they have to seek men who are equally or more successful than them.

       

      This is the real reason why birth rates are falling. Not like the time of our forefathers - when our fathers work, mothers stay at home to care and nurture the children. People that time marry at 21, easier to give birth unlike today people give birth at 28 and above, make it harded to childbirth.

       

      Don';t blame the government la, we have ourselves to blame.

       

       

  • mancha's Avatar
    8,961 posts since Sep '04
    • Look TIB783G already summed it all in a nutshell

      " I want this, I want that.

      Not surprising."

      Bottomline is still up to those to prioritise their wants. There are those who do it well, and there those who want to keep their cake and eat it as well.

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