26 Sep, 11:54AM in sunny Singapore!
Home Chit Chat

Damn Funny Email: Singaporean VS Nigerian "419" Scammer

Subscribe to Damn Funny Email: Singaporean VS Nigerian "419" Scammer 53 posts

Please Login or Signup to reply.
  • Texcoco II's Avatar
    3,015 posts since Oct '05
    • Hi all, found this on another website, not sure whether it have been poster here....but anyway here goes Cool

      [A few days ago, I received an email from one those infamous scammers. Same old thing, he was some dethroned king in Nigeria and needed help in retreiving some HUGE amounts of money.]

      From : Evismore Williams
      Subject : URGENT

      DEAR/,SIR
      PLEASE I HOPE THIS MAIL WILL NOT BRING AN EMBARRASMENT
      TO YOU OR SOMEBODY ARROUND YOU I,M A SENIOR ACCOUNTANT
      IN (GULF BANK NIGERIA PLC).THERE WAS A MAN CALLED (MR
      RALPH)FROM
      AUSTRA 30YEARS OLD.HE DEPOSITED $17.5M IN OUR BANK.AND
      SINCE
      TWO YEARS WE ARE LOOKING
      FOR HIM TO COME AND CLAIM HIS FUND. BEFORE WE GOT
      INFORMATIONS THAT HE WAS INVOLVED IN THAT INCIDENCE
      THAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA THE YEAR SEP 11TH 2001,
      PLEASE I WANT YOU TO ACT AS THE OWNER OF THE FUND OR
      RELATIVE OF HIM I WILL FURNISH YOU ALL THE
      INFORMATIONS REGARDING THIS FUND,
      PLEASE TRY CONTACT ME AS POSSIBLE AS YOU RECIEVE THIS
      MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THE BANK WILL SIT UNTOP OF
      THE FUND ALONE also your fax and phone number is
      urgently needed from
      you.
      THANKS FROM ACCOUNTANT, please the ulternative
      email.([email protected]) also your phone and fax
      number for more
      comminucation on the transaction.please any more
      information i will give you ,to make sure we conclude
      this transaction.

      [I had heard of these emails before, how some dumb people got so stupid they were cheated by these guys. Anyway, I decided to burn my Thursday afternoon and wrote back. Just for the fun of it. With A DIFFERENT IDENTITY OF COURSE!]

      ****************************************************

      From : Father Arsing Focker
      To : Evismore Williams
      Subject : RE:URGENT

      Mr Williams,

      Thank you for your e-mail.

      Let me first introduce myself. I am a retired CEO of Bread and Fruit Corporation, one of the largest foodstuff conglormerates in South-east Asia with an annual turnover of over US$1billion. Our various subsidaries include Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips, a PANGSAI factory and much more. I have passed on the business to my sons and am now head priest of Church of The Fockers, a church founded by my ancestors, Pissy Focker and Gonads Focker, to help those in need.

      Unfortunately, Mr Williams, we may have a problem. Due to old age, my hearing has deteriorated to such a level that it is not possible to converse with you over the phone. So saying, do you, by chance, possess a telecommunications text phone? If not, I'm afraid e-mail is the only convenient way of communicating with you.

      Mr Williams, I have the utmost confidence that this transaction will go on smoothly but I must first ensure your honesty and integrity. I am a very meticulous businessman and NEVER enter a deal without cast-iron confidence and security in my partners. I will need to have ample evidence of your identity. I'm afraid photocopied images of your passport and identification certificates is not acceptable since it is common knowledge how such things can easiliy be forged.

      May I suggest, Mr Williams, that before we proceed, you fulfil my request of ensuring your genuinity by doing the following : that you take a photograph of yourself holding a sign which bears a password we shall agree on. I will forward you this password once you have agreed to my proposal.

      Awaiting your reply.

      Father Arsing Focker,
      Managing Director and CEO
      Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
      Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
      "Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38

      ****************************************************

      [He replied! Which was totally unexpected!]

      To : Father Arsing Focker
      From : Evismore Williams
      Subject : OUR TRANSACTION PROCEDURE/REPLY QUICK

      ATTN Father Arsing Focker,
      Managing Director and CEO
      SIR,

      I RECEIVE YOUR MAIL. IT SOUND VERY INTERESTING TO WORK WITH YOU.ONCE YOU WILL BE HONEST WITH ME. [Of course I'm an HONEST man!

      FIRST WE ARE GOING TO SECURE ALL THE DOCUMENTS WHICH YOU HAVE TO USE TO CLAIM THIS FUNDS AS THE NEXT OF KIN. YOU MUST TRAVEL TO ITALY TO SET THIS ACCOUNT.

      SECONDLY, YOU WILL SETUP A FRESH ACCOUNT THROUGH OUR CORRESPONDING BANK IN ITALY OF WHICH IT WILL BEAR IN YOUR NAME BEFORE THIS FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT ANY WERE IN THE WORLD FOR SECURITY REASON AND ALSO TO AVOID TRACE OF THIS FUNDS.THESE ARE THE INFORMATION TO CARRY OUT THIS TRANSFER .

      THRIDLY, WE ARE GOING TO SEND AN OFFICIER FROM NIGERIA WHO A FINANCIAL CONSULTANT IN ITALY THAT WILL HELP YOU TO SETUP THIS ACCOUNT FOR YOU. HE IS GOING TO HAND CARRY YOU TO THE BANK WERE THIS FUNDS IS BEEN DEPOSITED BY OUR BANK. PLEASE ALL THE PARTIES INVOLVE HAVE THEIR ROLE TO PLAY IN WHICH YOU MUST FOLLOW ALL THE INSTRUCTION WHICH THEY NEED TO EXECUTE THIS TRANSACTION.

      MORESO, ALL THE DOCUMENTS WILL BE PREPARED AND SENT TO YOU WHICH WILL GIVE YOU THE POWER TO CLAIM THIS FUNDS. HAVE THIS MIND ,IT IS 100% RISK FREE DEAL

      PLEASE WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIAL TO AVOID ANY COMPLICATION DURING THIS PROCESS TO RECEIVE THIS FUNDS. IF YOU ARE SURE TO HANDLE THE TRANSACTION LET ME HAVE ALL THIS INFORMATION NEEDED FROM YOU.ONCE I RECEIVE YOUR INFORMATION I WILL FORWARD THE CONTACT PERSON IN ITALY SO THAT YOU WILL OPEN A COMMINUCATION WITH HIM .

      YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS
      YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT.
      YOUR DIRECT MOBLIE PHONE /TEL/FAX LINE

      YOU CAN CONTACT ME WITH THIS NUMBERS 234-1-7763136,FAX 234-1-7591495 AT ANY TIME .

      LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR YOUR URGENTLY REPLY..

      THANKS

      MR WILLIAMS

      [Like you, I did not read all that bull****. But this was getting fun!]

      ***************************************************

      [I decided to play a little trick on our dear Mr. Williams.]

      To : Evismore Williams
      From : Father Arsing Focker
      Subject : RE:OUR TRANSACTION PROCEDURE/REPLY QUICK

      Dear Mr Williams,

      I am very glad to get your reply. I am sure we will resume to proper business procedures once we get this minor obstacle over and done with.

      As you know Mr Williams, it is very dangerous to do business deals over the Internet. As such, as I've said in my last e-mail, I will need positive identification from you in order to proceed.

      My request to you is to take a picture of yourself holding a sign which bears the following words :

      WA AI JIAK LAO SAI

      Which is our company slogan in Chinese meaning "For prosperity". Together with this sign, I would also like you to place a round fruit (like an orange or apple) on the top of your head. This may sound strange to you Mr Williams, but here in South-east Asia, we Chinese are very traditional and putting a fruit on your head signals luck and gives business deals a "head"start.

      I must remind you, Mr Williams, that the picture must be VERY big and VERY clear. A blurred image or one that does not conform to the steps above will not be accepted.

      This is all but a little inconvenience, Mr Williams, but I'm afraid it must be done. Once I am satisfied with the photo, I will gladly proceed with the transactions at your request.

      Awaiting your reply,

      Father Arsing Focker,
      Managing Director and CEO
      Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
      Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
      "Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38

      [For the less fortunate of you who do not know what WA AI JIAK LAO SAI means, it means I LURVE TO EAT **** in dialect.]

      ***************************************************

      [He surprisingly agrees to my request!]

      To : Father Arsing Focker
      From : Evismore Williams
      Subject : PICTURE AGREEMENT IS COMING SHORTLY

      ATTN Father Arsing Focker MD/CEO

      SIR,

      I HAVE RECEIVE YOUR PASSWORD WITH YOUR AGREEMENT WHICH I MUST FULFILL IT TO SHOW YOU MY HONEST TO WORK WITH YOU, WITHIN A SHORT TIME YOU WILL RECEIVE THIS PICTURE BY ATTACHMENT FROM ME.

      I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO CARRY OUT THIS TRANSACTION. I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU AWRITING AGREEMENT FOR YOU TO SIGN FOR ME TO GIVE ME YOUR GUARANTEEN OF YOUR WORD TO FULFILL ALL THAT WILL TAKE TO COMPLETE THIS TRANSACTION BOTH PHYSICAL, FINANCIAL AND OTHERWISE AND YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK UNTILL WE FINANLISE THIS TRANSACTION IN DUE TIME.

      I WILL NOT DISSCUS FURTHER UNTIL I RECEIVE YOUR CLEAR SATISFACTION WITH MY PICTURE YOUR REQUEST TO START THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.I WILL EVEN LIKE TO VISIT YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY ONCE YOU CAN GIVE ME ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION FOR YOUR COUNTRY TO GRANT ME VISA.HOW I WISH YOU CAN HEAR VERY WELL .BUT ALL THE SAME THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH ME.

      EXPECT THE PICTURE VERY SOON.

      THANKS

      MR WILLIAMS

      [And by the way, Mr Williams, would you please stop SHOUTING??]

      **************************************************

      [I waited and waited......and IT CAME!!!]

      To : Father Arsing Focker
      From : Evismore Williams
      Subject : the photos pictures

      Mr Arsing Focker
      this the photo you requested form me
      i hope you are satistified

      [Below the message were the now-infamous attached pictures.]

      click here for the pic!
      smaller pic!

      [I almost pissed in my pants. This guy was an IDIOT from the moon! Anyway, this story was getting interesting. I decided to reply him. I am very HONEST indeed!]

      ****************************************************

      To : Evismore Williams
      From : Father Arsing Focker
      Subject : RE: the photos pictures

      Dear Mr Williams,

      I am pleased to inform you that I am very satisfied with your photos. Please advice me on how to proceed with the transactions.

      Regards,

      Father Arsing Focker,
      Managing Director and CEO
      Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
      Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
      "Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38

      ***************************************************

      To : Father Arsing Focker
      From : Evismore Williams
      Subject : TRANSACTION PROCESS COMPLTETION

      ATTN FATHER ARSING FOCKER

      SIR,

      I AM VERY DELIGTHED TO HEAR YOUR CLEAR SATIFACTION OF THE PHOTOGRAPH.

      THIS ARE THE PROCEDURE TO CARRY OUT THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.

      1- Deposit of legal fees of 25,000 dollars to be sent to me through
      an account or western union either for fast completing the documentation of this transaction which the lawyer is to prepare all necessary documents to enable you claim this money and open account.

      2- You must come to Italy after the preparation of documents to open account in your name where the funds will be transfered. Upon opening of the account you will need to deposit an account investment opening balance of 100,000 euros and later transfer 5% of the total amount into the account.
      3- Open approval of the tax authority of the inheritance and dividence we will need to pay 1% inheritance and dividence tax on of the funds .

      4.Once you are ready i will forward all the details of a financial consultant who is going to hand carry you the bank in italy.he will also assist you to get most of the papers to set of this account in italy.

      please be rest assured with me once you can be able to assist me financial.

      looking forward to hear from you.

      THANKS

      MR WILLIAMS

      Regard

      [Mr Williams was beginning to show his true self. I decided to question him.]

      ***************************************************

      To : Evismore Williams
      From : Father Arsing Focker
      Subject : RE:TRANSACTION PROCESS COMPLTETION

      Dear Mr Williams,

      I am very pleased to have received your e-mail. However, I have some questions that need to be answered.

      Firstly, Mr Williams, your initial e-mail indicated no notice of ANY investment or payment. Secondly, Mr Williams, you indicated that this is a risk-free transaction, that is, no contribution on my part needs to made. So saying, I feel there is no obligation for me to fly overseas.

      I am a very rich and busy man Mr Williams. I have assets of over US$1billion and the money that you are asking from me is meagre. Rest assured that once I have a proper explanation from you, I will proceed with the transactions without further ado.

      Awaiting your reply,

      Father Arsing Focker,
      Managing Director and CEO
      Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
      Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
      "Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38
      [Evismore "IDIOT" Williams' reply still pending.......]

  • seow's Avatar
    12,242 posts since Dec '04
  • Skibi's Avatar
    793 posts since Jan '06
    • Erm this happened or was posted in early 2004? Still funny tho. Not sure if the pics are photoshopped or real.

      Edit: for some reason the site won't let me link the pics here. can find it on google search.

      Edited by Skibi 13 Feb `06, 9:11PM
  • TwinTurbo_Supra's Avatar
    4,622 posts since Jun '04
  • Apex-LW'21's Avatar
    6,200 posts since Sep '05
  • Texcoco II's Avatar
    3,015 posts since Oct '05
    • Originally posted by TwinTurbo_Supra:
      wad did u search for?

      Picture apparently show guy standing behind his "comapny logo" or something like that

      Edited by Texcoco II 13 Feb `06, 10:09PM
  • gUms's Avatar
    2,160 posts since Mar '02
    • nigerian are farking scammers people dont trust them , my friend`s father once got cheated by a nigerian for about 30 or 40 grand …

  • hiphop2009's Avatar
    6,606 posts since Jan '06
    • can send me one of those pictures?......lol i kept laughing non stop while looking at the post….......

  • lpx88's Avatar
    6,989 posts since Jun '05
  • c0ol_blu3z's Avatar
    746 posts since May '05
  • Apex-LW'21's Avatar
    6,200 posts since Sep '05
  • Kuali Baba's Avatar
    24,118 posts since Nov '03
  • gr2012's Avatar
    379 posts since Feb '06
  • freestyle's Avatar
    816 posts since Mar '03
  • lousyboiboi's Avatar
    449 posts since Dec '04
  • lpx88's Avatar
    6,989 posts since Jun '05
  • technoboy's Avatar
    4,162 posts since Feb '04
  • hiphop2009's Avatar
    6,606 posts since Jan '06
    • go to this website: http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/poxscams.htm .......

      u cfm will laugh ur heads off after reading dem..........

  • SEI's Avatar
    1,037 posts since Sep '05
    • hahaha please show the picture i want to see this retard with an orange on his head hahahahaha

  • playboy_1985's Avatar
    1,969 posts since Jan '04
    • Originally posted by SEI:
      hahaha please show the picture i want to see this retard with an orange on his head hahahahaha

      dun racist la Laughing

    • i think the guy very bad.. make fun of black pple like tt Mad

  • Li Ka Shing's Avatar
    1,120 posts since Jan '05
    • ‘Retard’ is not a racist term, it’s an intellectualist term. Nothing to do with his race, it was directed at his intelligence only. Perhaps there’s some racial stereotypes in your mind instead which made you concluded that this is a racist term? Gotcha.

  • playboy_1985's Avatar
    1,969 posts since Jan '04
    • Originally posted by Li Ka Shing:
      'Retard' is not a racist term, it's an intellectualist term. Nothing to do with his race, it was directed at his intelligence only. Perhaps there's some racial stereotypes in your mind instead which made you concluded that this is a racist term? Gotcha.

      Crying or Very sad i mean no need to call pple retard right.. nvm Laughing

  • ctstalin's Avatar
    3,438 posts since Dec '04
Please Login or Signup to reply.