Yes, I do... (have a secret bank account)
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Sad man.....
2 in 5 think... what is theirs is theirs and what is his is theirs...
What has the world changed into?
Reference -
You might want to copy and paste the article. Not all has ST's account. -
quotes like what is theirs theirs. what is his is theirs or something like that...
and "he may have some secret funds of his own, so i shld have mine" shows that marriage is nothing more than a business contract where u have to make sure u have enuf funds to float yrself. -
Feb 6, 2005
Yes, I do... (have a secret bank account)
Research firm finds that one in five Singaporean wives hides her assets from her husband
By Chua Kong Ho
MS KAREN Tay has been hiding money from the men in her life since she started dating in her teens. Now in her late 20s, the communications executive is still secretive.
Her husband does not know of her share trading account, which doubles as her savings fund.
'If he knew, he'd go out and splurge on his car or buy something stupid. This way, he saves for the both of us,' she said with a smile.
Ms Tay is among a group of financially independent women in Singapore who keep their assets under wraps to stave off any overspending by their spouse, to ensure they have enough if the man walks out and, in one case, because her husband stole from her.
But unlike their mothers or grandmothers, they do not squirrel away grocery money in secret Khong Guan Biscuit tins. Their assets take the form of bank accounts, insurance policies or investments in shares or property.
But this trait is not peculiar to women here.
A nine-country survey by London-based research firm Synovate found that one in five (20 per cent) Singaporean wives keeps her husband in the dark about her emergency fund. If it's any comfort, the tendency is more prevalent in Japan (38 per cent), Saudi Arabia (32 per cent) and China (21 per cent).
On the other hand, women in France (7.2 per cent), United States (7.6 per cent), Brazil (9 per cent), Romania (12 per cent) and Britain (16.8 per cent) are more open.
The survey interviewed 301 Singaporean women, of which three in five were married. It also found that 75 per cent of the married women earned less than their spouse, and that almost half do not routinely save for retirement.
However, the survey, released last month, did not indicate the age, race or occupation of the respondents.
It also did not define what 'secret' means. Which suggests that the number of quiet hoarders in Singapore could be higher because 13 of the 20 Singaporean women interviewed by The Sunday Times gave different takes on the word.
Some do not tell their husbands at all, some tell, but will not reveal the precise value or amount of the assets while others will 'act blur' when asked.
Aged between 25 and 35, they all have full-time jobs and can support themselves financially.
Administrative executive Hamizah, 31, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said she did not let her husband know how much year-end bonus she received so that she can pamper herself with treats without being nagged by him.
Are these secret savings an act of bad faith? Or are women merely pragmatic in protecting themselves?
Bank executive Angeline Lee, 26, who will marry her long-time boyfriend next year, was swift in her retort: 'Why not? My mother has always told me to keep money for myself for protection and not to let the man know.'
She added, betraying a fatalistic attitude often seen in Asia: 'You never know if your husband will walk out on you. Anyway, he probably has funds that he's not telling me about.'
Mr Aldrin Thomas, 30, a teacher, finds the attitude dreadful. 'Wives won't like it if their husbands do the same. At the very least, the hubby must know about it. He does not have to control it.'
A 34-year-old office manager said she had to keep her finances secret because her husband habitually stole from her. For obvious reasons, she asked not to be named.
However, wives like teacher Celine Tan, 26, believe in full disclosure. She said: 'The most important thing in a marriage is trust. There should be no secret between husband and wife.'
Legal secretary Yang Yuxin, 28, agrees. Her husband has access to her personal savings account.
Synovate's survey found that four in five Singapore women have their own savings accounts, two in three have insurance policies, half have jewellery while one in four have mutual funds, shares or bonds.
Counsellors warn against hiding money because when a spouse stumbles on a large stash, it could undermine the trust in the marriage.
Ms Teo Seok Bee, programme manager at Touch Community Services, which runs marriage courses, said couples are taught the different options of financial arrangements. 'We always encourage transparency and trust in all aspects of a couple's life, including finances,' she added.
But old habits die hard. Said a 29-year-old public relations executive, who wanted to be known only as Mei: 'It boils down to trust. For me, if my husband asks, I'll act blur. I'm just not comfortable discussing my money, even with him.' She has been married for eight months. -
Originally posted by bismarck:quotes like what is theirs theirs. what is his is theirs or something like that...
and "he may have some secret funds of his own, so i shld have mine" shows that marriage is nothing more than a business contract where u have to make sure u have enuf funds to float yrself. Well. That's one way of looking.
The thing to ask is how much does one knows about his/her spouse. And how much one trust his/her spouse.
It's also for backup, in case super bad luck comes. -
speaking frm experience(ok i mean i know the scenario)Originally posted by Parka: Well. That's one way of looking.
The thing to ask is how much does one knows about his/her spouse. And how much one trust his/her spouse.
It's also for backup, in case super bad luck comes.
bad luck isnt the main thing. bad decisions. this is the reason why i wrote the thread on the toto buying -
frankly speaking, the husband shld divorce the woman who said that she shld have her own secret funds since she claims her half might have 1 too.
someone shld run her over with a hummer -
Originally posted by bismarck:speaking frm experience(ok i mean i know the scenario)
bad luck isnt the main thing. bad decisions. this is the reason why i wrote the thread on the toto buying I love a great quote from Deep Throat of X-files which goes like this, "Trust no one."
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what has that got to do with my post?Originally posted by Parka: I love a great quote from Deep Throat of X-files which goes like this, "Trust no one." -
I'm one of the 2/5.
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It depends on how much a woman can trust her husband.Originally posted by bismarck:frankly speaking, the husband shld divorce the woman who said that she shld have her own secret funds since she claims her half might have 1 too.
someone shld run her over with a hummer
If it was me , I won't be telling my partner how much I have and where my accounts are - if it boils down to the day of breaking up , divorces are messy and there is no way I am letting him into my hard earnt money or my assets. -
im very transparent
he knows how poor i am -
no way am i giving my biatch my hard earned money... bachelor's life all the way!
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no offence but, if 1 is planning for a divorce, then dont get married. this is diff frm planning a project or something..Originally posted by fymk:It depends on how much a woman can trust her husband.
If it was me , I won't be telling my partner how much I have and where my accounts are - if it boils down to the day of breaking up , divorces are messy and there is no way I am letting him into my hard earnt money or my assets. -
anyway marriage to me, is nothing more than a culturally devised scam
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let's just say it's better to be safe than sorry. I prefer to be more pre emptive in my actionsOriginally posted by bismarck:no offence but, if 1 is planning for a divorce, then dont get married. this is diff frm planning a project or something.. -
What that article left out is that many men keep secret stashes too (some of my married friends do that, one even transferred ownership of a house to his parents, just before he got married, as a safeguard in case his marriage goes sour and the woman demands half his assets) Of course, you can't blame the guys, as divorces are messy, pre-nuptials are not legally binding here, etc.
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I believe in transprent. In a marriage, the "if" is a very bad, negative value. Also there is this pre-mind before into marriage that divorce is there .... If you think divorce is there, it will come eventually. Weather it's man or women, same.
Likewise any situation that comes up in marriage life, this non-trust & money factor is a big nuclear power engine into divorce. Most people without this 2 factor will comes down their emotions & think better for their partner.
Keeping a secret accounts is directly oppose to marriage that needs complete trust & faith to come.
Hey if you don't trust your partner or your partner don't trust you completely don't step into marriage.
Why people could entrust your body & future to the someone but don't trust them on money issues??? 
Is more people placing money much much more important than your own body & future? 
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depends on how financially-stable the spouse is...if he is the kind who gambles nonstop, then mebbe this method is not a bad idea after all...
i.c.y -
One of my frens married a guy who never contributes to the household. He is living off his wife. She keeps a secret a/c cos if he knows she has money, he won't work.
Another fren's husband made her deposit all her salary into joint a/c.
He controls it & she has to consult him if she wants to buy something.
She was always broke cos he gave her very small allowance but was very generous to others & himself. She is drawing as much as him.
Now she has her own a/c where she deposits part of her pay, her bonus & dividends.
It is best to have a joint a/c with husband for household bills & own individual a/cs. This will ensure that your own personal money is not squandered away. -
It is best to have your own personal account. It don't have to be secret but you don't need to tell your spouse the amount you have in it.
We do have a joint account which we use to pay the bills. Both of us contribute to it every month but it is a joint account whereby if any of us wants to withdraw from it, it will require both signatures.
No one gets hitched thinking about divorce. However, there is no harm being prepared. Be it that the relationship turns sour down the road or something happens. -
Your friend is smart. My friend has a husband who is behaving like your friend's husband and she has been paying his debts till she is dead broke.Originally posted by gerrykoh:One of my frens married a guy who never contributes to the household. He is living off his wife. She keeps a secret a/c cos if he knows she has money, he won't work.
Another fren's husband made her deposit all her salary into joint a/c.
He controls it & she has to consult him if she wants to buy something.
She was always broke cos he gave her very small allowance but was very generous to others & himself. She is drawing as much as him.
Now she has her own a/c where she deposits part of her pay, her bonus & dividends.
It is best to have a joint a/c with husband for household bills & own individual a/cs. This will ensure that your own personal money is not squandered away.
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one should always be transparent about such money matters. at least husband and wife can plan their future family financials.
that aside, one should try to avoid putting too much money in a joint account cos that account will be frozen in the event of a bankruptcy of either spouse! -
That's because you Singaporean guys are pathetic... you all are living in your mother's MCP eras expecting us to submit to you all... please grow up...with a secret account we can live and do not need to depend on rice bins for survival.
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She keeps what she earns. I keep what I earns. For family expenses, we spend collectively. That's it.
