To all SG girls. You Are No longer a Spring Chicken at 34!!!
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She will feel more regret later... the feeling of singlehood get worse with each passing years. There is only tat much things u can do when u r single... So my recommendation is for people to get married
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She is right. If at 34 & already got a good steady bf, then better not delay marriage cos they straight rush into having babies.
Also after 30s, a lot of complication conceiving & u spend more money on doc bills. Also when u are older, u cannot retire early cos your kids will be very young.
Better to marry early around 25, 26, enjoy 2- 3 yrs with husband before settling down & have kids. -
I don't think its compromising... I think the relationship is more mature and based on better grounding (not always so but at least the person would not be choosing based on looks or cash but I must qualify there are exceptions). Its not always that a person past her 30s is expired and therefore must settle to a house full of cats or for a lousy, unsuitable person just for companionship. Some older people do find a second spring, its just that for asia, there is a lot of stygma and shallow thinking in general. Additionally, relationships are changing and it is not necessarily true that people need to get married to have a fulfilling life as some like to advertise. Its just bad taste to keep pushing that a single ideal should be everyone's ideal.Originally posted by Gazelle:you can still get married when you turn 50, the only problem is that you have to start compromising...alot!!
The thing about sumiko is that she comes across as somewhat less than hopeful and from many years back, I read her article (of whining as I like to call it), I find that she is unhappy with herself and lots of things. This comes across in many aspects of life. There's more to life than marriage and there is more to life than letting people tell you otherwise. -
same for both sexes... don't know why but back in kum pong times ppl are friendlier. Moving into 4 room HDB, everyone close their doors and are so stuck up.Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:intelligent? but the problem is most have high IQ but no EQ -
For Sumiko, she looks like one who yearns to get married but yet at the same time too picky and demanding.
This, though, does not necessarily applies to other gals. I got female friends in her thirties/forties who are perfectly comfortable in being single. -
I agree, ur career is going good, u hv money, get married la. zzz.
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Being single at 30s or 40s, I am sure you must be comfortable. However do you really know if they are happy being single?Originally posted by Qitai:For Sumiko, she looks like one who yearns to get married but yet at the same time too picky and demanding.
This, though, does not necessarily applies to other gals. I got female friends in her thirties/forties who are perfectly comfortable in being single. -
thing is...Originally posted by Gazelle:I think you have to give some respect to a women who have the courage to admit to her own mistake in the paper.
the reader don't always understand that's exactly IT
it's HER mistake
not anyone's else
her negativity about a topic
is HER negativity
does not necessarily reflect status quo
and definitely does not negate other people's positive attitude and outlook.
so don't judge the rest of Singapore's 40 somethings based on one sumiko.
second thing is
if a person keep making similar mistakes cos 'self centred' and etc...
i think whether she admit it in the papers or not
just shows she is not someone who learns from it leh?
Anyway i dont know her
i just dont like the articles she write
cos too generalised and yet self centred -
I don't really know if the married people are really happy in being marriedOriginally posted by Gazelle:Being single at 30s or 40s, I am sure you must be comfortable. However do you really know if they are happy being single?
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X2Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:thing is...
the reader don't always understand that's exactly IT
it's HER mistake
not anyone's else
her negativity about a topic
is HER negativity
does not necessarily reflect status quo
and definitely does not negate other people's positive attitude and outlook.
so don't judge the rest of Singapore's 40 somethings based on one sumiko.
second thing is
if a person keep making similar mistakes cos 'self centred' and etc...
i think whether she admit it in the papers or not
just shows she is not someone who learns from it leh?
Anyway i dont know her
i just dont like the articles she write
cos too generalised and yet self centred
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X3Originally posted by Qitai:I don't really know if the married people are really happy in being married -
I only know that people who have a family usually live longer than those who live alone.Originally posted by Qitai:I don't really know if the married people are really happy in being married -
length of life does not mean quality life...Originally posted by Gazelle:I only know that people who have a family usually live longer than those who live alone.
Living longer don't mean happier
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X4Originally posted by mistyblue:X3
Of course there are the happily married ones, and also the happily single ones. There are also lonely singles who wonder "why didn't I seize the opportunity....", and the married ones who wonder "oh my god why did I get married to this person and now I'm trapped for life because we have kids" -
If you are single, I guess there is really nothing much to look forward to after you hit 50s or 60s. So I guess you might be right that being single there is no reason to live longer and dying young will probably make you happier.Originally posted by mistyblue:length of life does not mean quality life...
Living longer don't mean happier
However if you have a family, I am sure your thinking will be very different. -
Don't matter. It all depends if you allow yourself to waste away or do something about it.Originally posted by Gazelle:If you are single, I guess there is really nothing much to look forward to after you hit 50s or 60s. So I guess you might be right that being single there is no reason to live longer and dying young will probably make you happier.
However if you have a family, I am sure your thinking will be very different.
Having a partner during old age don't mean happiness or being that as a reason to love on.
having a family does not mean my thinking will be happier...
There is no corelation with whatever status I am in with the state of happiness I feel.
I was fairly happy by myself before I found my bf. fact I was so damn contented I didn't want him. But he was determined.
There are exceptions to your theory :
There are people in their 60 whose partner goes outside and betray them... Go see all the Ah Peh with their China Mistress complaining about their old partner at home.
There are people who had family children, whose child are not "quality" people and cause great hardship for the parents till old age.
There are old folks whose family simply abandon them after having spent all the time and life bring them up.
Thus there is no co-relation with regards to the mind state and the status on a person be the person single or married. If you choose, the key word is choose. To be happy, no one, no status, nothing can stop you from being unhappy. The state of mind is a choice. Having a partner is a bonus. -
Don't matter. It all depends if you allow yourself to waste away or do something about it.Originally posted by Gazelle:If you are single, I guess there is really nothing much to look forward to after you hit 50s or 60s. So I guess you might be right that being single there is no reason to live longer and dying young will probably make you happier.
However if you have a family, I am sure your thinking will be very different.
Having a partner during old age don't mean happiness or being that as a reason to live on.
having a family does not mean my thinking will be happier...
There is no corelation with whatever status I am in with the state of happiness I feel.
I was fairly happy by myself before I found my bf. fact I was so damn contented I didn't want him. But he was determined.
There are exceptions to your theory :
There are people in their 60 whose partner goes outside and betray them... Go see all the Ah Peh with their China Mistress complaining about their old partner at home.
There are people who had family children, whose child are not "quality" people and cause great hardship for the parents till old age.
There are old folks whose family simply abandon them after having spent all the time and life bring them up.
Thus there is no co-relation with regards to the mind state and the status on a person be the person single or married. If you choose, the key word is choose. To be happy, no one, no status, nothing can stop you from being unhappy. The state of mind is a choice. Having a partner is a bonus. -
Originally posted by mistyblue:
Does your mother/father enjoy having you around the house Or they dont even care if you exisit? When you are sick, do you enjoy having someone in the house to help take care of you?
[b]Don't matter. It all depends if you allow yourself to waste away or do something about it. Having a partner during old age don't mean happiness or being that as a reason to live on. having a family does not mean my thinking will be happier...
Hoesntly I think it is always easy for you to make the above statement because you are still young (I persume), healthy, and have a bright future ahead of you. Do you have reason to believe that you will still think the same when you are in your 50s or 60s, when all your childhood buddies are busy with their children and grandchildren
What makes you think the Sumiko dont think like you when she was younger?
There is no corelation with whatever status I am in with the state of happiness I feel. I was fairly happy by myself before I found my bf. fact I was so damn contented I didn't want him. But he was determined.There are exceptions to your theory :
What is the percentage of these type of people around?
There are people in their 60 whose partner goes outside and betray them... Go see all the Ah Peh with their China Mistress complaining about their old partner at home. There are people who had family children, whose child are not "quality" people and cause great hardship for the parents till old age.
There are old folks whose family simply abandon them after having spent all the time and life bring them up.
What you are saying is very typical of how a 34 year old "spring chicken" will think when they are much younger.
Thus there is no co-relation with regards to the mind state and the status on a person be the person single or married. If you choose, the key word is choose. To be happy, no one, no status, nothing can stop you from being unhappy. The state of mind is a choice. Having a partner is a bonus. -
The article has reflected Singaporean women sharing the same fate asOriginally posted by Qitai:For Sumiko, she looks like one who yearns to get married but yet at the same time too picky and demanding.
This, though, does not necessarily applies to other gals. I got female friends in her thirties/forties who are perfectly comfortable in being single.
Sumiko - they could be too career minded or picky. Isn't it sad to know that we are having a hugh population of Singaporean women still single after 30s. Shouldn't it be consider as a nation problem?? Why is there such low birth rate? Simple, these hugh population of aging women are still single-no way to have babies, no way to get baby bonus from Government.
Women who are single at their 30s or 40s might appear to be happy. They sure won't pour out their tears in front of you to show how lonely they are. Living in the belief system of - I am strong, independent, intelligent- is a fall for women.
Thus I agree that EQ is important. -
Originally posted by Gazelle:
I am not married, I pay for my own living expenses and I live alone. I do not even stay with my folks. So why should they complain. Do you have a problem with independence and independednt people ?
Does your mother/father enjoy having you around the house Or they dont even care if you exisit? When you are sick, do you enjoy having someone in the house to help take care of you?
So what If I am sick? Is it someone's else's job to take care of me? Can I not haul myself into the nearby clinic to get my meds? Even if I am really sick, I can easily call the ambulance and get my ass to a hospital.
Not everyone has to live by the "Normal" lifestyle and "Normal" rules. If its "normal" for you, don't mean its normal for others. If you like your "normal" life, its what you choose and what you like. Don't mean others have to follow suit.
BTW, it is in very bad taste you drag my parents into this discussion. I can end the discussion here and now. What has it got to do with my parents? You tell me!
Do not assume so much! I am not young and its a known fact I am not far from Sumiko's age.
Hoesntly I think it is always easy for you to make the above statement because you are still young (I persume), healthy, and have a bright future ahead of you. Do you have reason to believe that you will still think the same when you are in your 50s or 60s, when all your childhood buddies are busy with their children and grandchildren
Do not assume I envy people with kids or grand kids.
Do not assume that I judged my life based on your standards that I wish to have grand kids by 40s and that having grandkids is an acheivement.
Its all the standards that you choose your llife. Please apply to only your life. Others might not want to live the manner as you said. So do you mean people who are not married and have no kids or old folks with no grand kids are failures? This is the implied meaning in your message. So be careful what you say.
I do identify with her earilier writing for a while. But I do not agree with her thinking most of the time. Do not always bunch everyone together as if you know them. Her generation is vastly different from mine. My lifestyle is vastly different from hers. Do not assume (yet again) that being young has advantages or that young people all think alike. That's only narrow minded of you to lump people together.
What makes you think the Sumiko dont think like you when she was younger?
You want stats, go can go stat board right. You need me to run search engine for you ah?
What is the percentage of these type of people around?
I am not a representative of any 34 year old. So please qualify your statement.
What you are saying is very typical of how a 34 year old "spring chicken" will think when they are much younger.
I am only saying till now my personal observations. If you cannot live with that so be it. Do not ever think your scarcism and your insults are lost to me. Its only a matter of weather I want to take you up and flame you equally or settle this with words. Without a doubt, from above, its shows how narrow minded of you that you drag anything in to prove your point that your "nomacy" is definitive.
You are very full of yourself .. no wonder no one can discuss anything with you.
Let me put this to you. If you like to twist things so much, there is no point for me to discuss hence. Let me end on a good note. -
Well not everyone can have a happy married life like Gaz
14k pay
Audi Car
Foreign Wife who models Victoria Secret lingerie for him
"Discreet Adult Fun" with collegues
Don't get me wrong Gaz, you are fully entitled to living your life as you see fit. Also, don't get me wrong that I am unhappy with my married life.
However, I wish you will stop shoving your ideals down everyone's throat because like I said before, everyone is entitled to make the choice which they are happiest with. They might regret it in the future but they made the decision themselves.
There is no right or wrong way to live your life (without doing anything illegal), be it married or single. -
I don't think its compromising... I think the relationship is more mature and based on better grounding (not always so but at least the person would not be choosing based on looks or cash but I must qualify there are exceptions). Its not always that a person past her 30s is expired and therefore must settle to a house full of cats or for a lousy, unsuitable person just for companionship
The older one get, the more available get hitched and married leaving either the one who do not want to get attached or ones who cannot find his desired partner. Out of the ones who do not want to get attached, most of them want to find a younger wife than one their age. There r exception but trust me such men r very very very few and the problem of age is really true. U look uglier, get tired easier and physically u r harder to conceive if he was a family man. If u talk about getting smarter or more experienced, frankly younger women may be pretty smart as well. If it was a person looking for a spouse and cannot find one, then it means u really need to compromise a lot since he must have some pretty fatal weaknesses. So the older a woman get, the harder was it for him to find a partner. The option of getting into a house full of cats may become viable if they can't find a suitable partner... so do't give up and start to look around for a suitable spouse... no one can say tat marriage = hapiness , but no marriage will certainly lead to lonliness which is unhappy. -
they don't dare to report on something more serious like underlyng tension between dif races cuz of some scumbags...!!Originally posted by www:topics like singlehood, battle of the sexes are easily few of the most controversial articles in singapore's newspaper.
when they ran out of spicy things to write about, these sorta topics are top of their reserve list to increase readership, hopefully circulations. -
How do you know they're not?Originally posted by Gazelle:Being single at 30s or 40s, I am sure you must be comfortable. However do you really know if they are happy being single?
Anyway snce you're happy, why must you keep targetting people whom in your opinion, arent'?
I don't think you're that happy yourself.. -
The thing is that girls cannot be left on the shelf- once they cannot find a partner by age 40, she's a goner.
Whereas for guys, as long as they have bling bling or have the looks or the body, even if he remains single, girls will still flock to him like bees!