What if Singapore was I/C of rebuilding Iraq?
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Came across this humourous piece in ExpatSG. Posted by swami1959
Outsourcing is very common these days.
Impressed by Singapore's progress and success let us for a moment imagine that the powers at IRAQ offer Singapore's leaders and people the opportunity to set their country right how would SingaporeanÂ’s go about it?
Here are some scenarios
Step 1 Sign a free trade agreement with IRAQ.
Establish HDB type flats at Bagdad and all major cities in IRAQ. the ethnic composition of each of the cluster of flats will comprise of 60% Shias, 15% Sunni Arabs 20% Sunni Kurds, the remaining 5% for other ethnic communities. All the flats will have bomb shelters. To promote unity amongst the communities no one can occupy the same flat in the same locality for more than 10 years. Every ten years individuals must swap their living quarters.
Build at least three integrated resorts one at at Sadr City, another at Tikrit and the third one at Basra.
MRT lines between Bhagdad and Basra. The second line will be between Kirkuk and Mosul. The third line will be between Bhagdad and Kirkuk. All these will be established in Phases over a period of 15 years.
TIKRIT , MOSUL, Bhagdad and Basra will also have LRT lines. Major players bidding for this will be our very own SMRT and SBS.
No COE for buying cars in IRAQ. The full petrol tank policy will not apply if Iraqis want to travel to Syria, or Iran in their own cars.
Iraqis wanting to come to Singapore for holiday will not require a visa and Singaporeans will not require Visa to visit Iraq however IraqiÂ’s visiting Singapore can remain in Singapore for a period not greater than 3 months at a time.
Immigration and checkpoints authority will issue the latest and most modern tamperproof bio metric passports and I cards for all Iraqis.
Several New Water plants dotted across Iraq at places which do not have access to water from the rivers TIGRIS and EUPHATES.
Set up ERP and gantry for entering Bhagdad, Kirkuk, Mosul, Fallujah, Nasiriyah, and Basrah
NTUC to set up recreation facilities and NTUC chalets all across IRAQ and also fair price shops where daily necessities will be sold at affordable prices.
SBS and SMRT will revamp the local transport system and introduce bullet proof buses. Those traveling by these buses can take out an insurance with NTUC Income. If the journey ends in a blast then the next of kin will get he contracted compensation from NTUC.
Because IRAQ is oil rich no GST will be imposed on IRAQIs.
NKF will be allowed to set up branch in IRAQ. NKF will set up code of conduct for Kidney trade. Kidney trade will be encouraged and well regulated. If Singapore is world's number one destination for individuals seeking quality health care then IRAQ will be number 2 in the world for kidney transplantation facilities. With so many deaths due to violence Iraq can be a good place to source kidneys from cadavers.
Crime and punishment
Carrying drugs greater than 10 grams, guns weighing more than 10 Kgs, Grenades greater than 5 KG will invite the mandatory death sentence. In short carrying any form of weapon outside of the house will invite the mandatory death sentence. Housewives can continue to use kitchen knife within the confines of their house.
Singapore pools will set up outlets all across IRAQ with online betting the winner will get cash plus a condominium in Najaf. To render betting relevant to Iraqi environment individuals can bet on cock fights using Singapore pools online betting system.
Ports authority of Singapore will set up the world's second busiest port in Basrah
Keppel shipyard will start building world class oil tankers at Basrah.
Singtel and Starhub will connect all of IRAQ. However when it comes to MOBILE phones M1 will have the biggest share because remember their tagline is every where under the sun and IRAQ is Sunni sorry I mean sunny....
Under Singapore management computers will be distributed to all adult Iraqis over the age of 20. The cost of the computer will be debited to the CPF ordinary account of Iraqis. With subsidized computer education and several free online games and fast broadband connections, all Iraqis will be so busy playing computer war games that they will forget all about violence and spend all their time glued to computer screens. Iraqi gamers will be encouraged to fight war games with Iranian gamers.
Our own HWZ will set up IRQI Portal. We will also have our beloved SLS and Funan IT mall, and challenger at all the major Iraqi cities.
IRAQ will be a hot tourist destination with the Iraq ZOO cast in the image of the Singapore ZOO. Once the zoo is established the Bird park and crocodile farm will not be far away.
Outward bound will set up adventure sports facilities at TIGRIS and EUPHRATES rivers. SMU will conduct team building exercises at these venues.
Image of Singapore will not be complete without Singapore Airlines. IRAQ will have the world's second best airlines comprising entirely of Airbus A380s managed by SIA. -
People's association will set up community centers all across Iraq to promote community cohesion. Each Singapore MP will be seconded to one of the provinces in Iraq in the capacity of advisor.
NLB will set up National Library centers all across Iraq. The library will be open for 24 hours as IRAQIs have a lot of reading and studying to catch up with.
Singapore local banks will set up banks in Iraq which will offer Islamic banking facilities.
Now coming to NS I think it would be wise not to educate all Iraqi's in the use of weapons. As most of Iraqis are adept at using anything and everything as a weapon there is no point in giving any more military training to the Iraqis. Perhaps Singapore Government may recruit a few veteran Iraqi fighters to train Singaporean NS men based on their long experience gained during the war with Iran.
All the major beauty and cosmetic outlets of Singapore like Mary Chia etc will set up shop in Iraq.
Oh how can I forget the food courts yes indeed Singapore style food courts will dot all major cities. However during the month of Ramadaan all these food outlets will only remain open during night. These food courts will only serve halal food.
Bhagdad airport will be run by Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore and in about 10 years time will rank among the top 5 airports of this world.
To manage a big country Singapore will need lots of qualified professionals who are adept at speaking the Arabic language. Arabic will become a compulsory subject in all the schools of Singapore. Children will also learn about history of Iraq in Singapore schools.
All Singapore civil servants opting for IRAQI posting will receive double their Singapore salary however physically they will be stationed in Iraq for at least 5 continuous years
The Straits Times, and Channel Newsasia will be tasked to either take over or monitor the Iranian Press and block any publication which is not in general interest of the public.
The Iraqi news agencies impacted will be :
Al Jazeera (will be banned in IRAQ)
Aswat al Iraq
Azzaman
Iraq Today
Iraq Updates
Assyrian International news Agency
To cope with increasing interaction with Iraq will change all sign****** in Singapore to include one more language namely Arabic.
Temasek holdings will buy shares in major Iraqi financial institutions and companies.
Such as
Commercial Bank of Iraqi
Bank Of Baghdad
Dar Al- Salam Investment Bank
Basrah International Bank
Babylon Bank
Iraqi Middle East Investment Bank
Iraqi Islamic Bank
Investment Bank Of Iraqi
Credit Bank of Iraq
National Bank of Iraq
Gulf commercial Bank
Mousil Bank for Investment
These banks will be consolidated at the end leaving only 5 local IRAQI banks.
The following companies will also be closely watched by Temasek holdings, because with massive reconstruction activity these companies are bound to boom.
Baghdad Soft Drinks
Al-khazer for Construction Materials
Modern Construction Material Industry
Iraqi Date Processing And Marketing
North soft drinks
Al-Mansour Pharmaceuticals Industries
Al-Rafidain for Carbonated Drinks
The Light industries
Bhagdad telecom
National for Tourist Investment
Baghdad Hotel
Palestine Hotel
GIC will not open a branch at Baghdad just yet however it will keep a close watch.
Iraq must have a CPF board. The CPF board will function differently from the one in Singapore.
You will not have just ordinary account, special account and Medisave. Complex nature of Iraqi society will require more categorizations.
There could be unique policies for topping up the CPF ordinary accounts. For example extremists surrendering an AK47 will receive a top up of 450,000 Iraqi Dinars.
Surrender of a hand grenade will cause the ordinary account to be topped up by 100,000 Iraqi Dinars. Surrender of rocket launchers will cause the ordinary account to be topped up by 900,000 Iraqi Dinars. Individuals attempting to defraud the system by surrendering bogus , non working or not genuine weapons will be punished by 15 lashes of the cane and 1 year imprisonment. An Iraqi not accused of inciting violence or participating in violence will get a 200,000,000 Iraqi Dinar top up in ordinary account.
When I started this write up It was intended to explore the interesting possibilities in a humorous vein. However I had to do a bit of googling to get the names and some of the facts as accurate as is reasonably possible with my limited resources. I suddenly realized that indeed SingaporeÂ’s capabilities are great. If indeed such a situation comes about IÂ’ am certain Singaporeans in general and the Singapore leaders in particular can quickly convert IRAQ a heaven.
If any part of this write up is offensive please let me know I will be only too happy to edit the same.
Nouri al-Maliki are you reading this?
http://www.expatsingapore.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001233.html
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Plus a 7% GST to help the poor in Iraq.
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To some extent, Iraq needs some Singapore efficiency.
After all, our dear MM once rid Singapore of drug gangs right? Drug gangs and terrorists? Nah, not much difference. -
He will say "Discharge of firearms will be punishable by death" Then introduce the ISA and so on..Originally posted by CoolMyth:To some extent, Iraq needs some Singapore efficiency.
After all, our dear MM once rid Singapore of drug gangs right? Drug gangs and terrorists? Nah, not much difference. -
Like that swamp of iraqis would migrate and then FTs from CHina and Bangla could replace the population.Originally posted by LazerLordz:He will say "Discharge of firearms will be punishable by death" Then introduce the ISA and so on.. -
Originally posted by LazerLordz:
IraqForums instead of SgForums....
Our own HWZ will set up IRQI Portal. We will also have our beloved SLS and Funan IT mall, and challenger at all the major Iraqi cities. -
wow..gd plan.. Are you the next prime minister of sG?? I will support u if u carry out this plans will demand for u soul if u can't deliever as promise...
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Careful leh, the flame war will rech your doorstep with AK-47s.Originally posted by SingaporeMacross:IraqForums instead of SgForums....
Imagine if you piss Al-Stuuki off..
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Before all other economic or infrastructural support can be given, perhaps LKY should be sent to Iraq to become head honcho of a Consultancy Team to support the present Iraqi leadership - to resolve the security situation.
He will probably get our Singapore's President Nathan help to advise the Iraqi to set up an Internal Security Department - complete with special coldrooms and trainers - to help train the Iraqis in 'more civilised interrogation' techniques; and also the Singapore Attorney-General's Chambers should send some of our legal scholars to help the Iraqi draft an Internal Security Act.
The Iraqis will best be advised that all these advise from LKY and his Team - if implemented into actuality - should all carry an expiry date, or at least a second review.
This advise is only for the Iraqis own good, as these outrageous laws are required during outrageous times, and should be fine tuned or scrapped when events no longer justify their continued existence.
With MM LKY and Prez Nathan on the Iraqi job, at least we know that the millions of dollar salaries paid to each of them are well spent - in having them doing some serious jobs that will cement the relationship between Iraq and Singapore. -
And we get a second energy resource wing.
Recently, they visited Malaysia and thought that it was a good model for management of ethnic groups into a moderately harmonious society.
I believe that we can contribute in one way or another too. Let Asia take the lead in rebuilding Iraq. It was Bush's mistake to sideline the UN in reconstruction efforts. -
frankly, if Singapore was to be in charge of rebuilding Iraq, the head honchos will still be demanding reports.. while hamstrung by their insistence on everything being ISO, SQA, People Developer, Singapore Service Class and every other nonsensical rating you can think of
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Originally posted by the Bear:frankly, if Singapore was to be in charge of rebuilding Iraq, the head honchos will still be demanding reports.. while hamstrung by their insistence on everything being ISO, SQA, People Developer, Singapore Service Class and every other nonsensical rating you can think of
I can see Tan Ah Seng asking Mohamad Al-Ahmad "What do you mean the safety level of the buses in Fallujah cannot hit 90%!! Go and put more CCTVs!" -
I wonder what is the staple food of the Iraqis?Originally posted by LazerLordz:Careful leh, the flame war will rech your doorstep with AK-47s.
Imagine if you piss Al-Stuuki off..
But I know what Chinese staple food is.....