Where from, the Origins of Such Seeds?
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BUS DRIVER BASHING: TWO VIEWS
Lesson from Chinese fable?
By Tiah Kiang Choon
May 16, 2007
I REMEMBER a fable from ancient China from a library book I read in my younger days.
It came to mind after I read that report on the junior college student who beat up a bus driver.
The fable was about this boy from a poor village in China who, at a young age, started beating up people and animals.
When villagers complained to his mother, what she did was to smile at the boy and told him not to do it again.
In his teens, he started harassing young girls and breaking into houses to steal. When he was caught, all his mother did was to apologise to others on his behalf.
One day, he stole jewels that were meant for the emperor. It was a capital offence, so he was to be executed.
At the execution, he told his mother he wanted to suckle at her breast one last time, but proceeded to bite off her nipple instead.
The man screamed: 'I am in this state today, because you never disciplined me at all. You never made me pay for my mistakes. Now I am paying for them, and so shall you!'
With that, he was executed.
I remember I was rather grossed-out at the tale, but I never forgot its lesson.
And it was why I was so upset when I read about the boy in school uniform who reportedly punched a bus driver when he and his girl friend were stopped from getting off the public bus.
They had earlier refused to let the driver confiscate the girl's Ez-link card, which was suspected to be stolen or lost.
My initial reaction was one of embarrassment when I saw which school the boy is from.
I was from Chinese High School which, together with Hwa Chong Junior College, is now Hwa Chong Institution - the boy's school.
Then I started getting annoyed when I read that the boy called his father crying when he realised the police had been called.
FORGIVENESS
If the boy felt 'man enough' to 'defend' his girlfriend and beat up someone over it, why wasn't he 'man enough' to face the consequences of what he had done?
When the bus driver drove into the terminal, the boy's father was waiting there to apologise, and to the amazement of many, the father knelt in front of the bus driver to seek forgiveness for his son.
At this part of the report, I gave up and flung the papers down in disgust.
I am not sure whose backbone was missing there - the father's or the son's.
Is there a lesson from this incident staring us in the face?
What was the father thinking? Did the father think he was helping his son?
What was the boy thinking as he saw his father kneeling there, giving up his self-respect, begging on his behalf?
As I discussed the issue with my parents, my father said flatly to me: 'If you ever do that, don't expect me to kneel for you. You do something wrong, you face up to it.'
I'm not going to argue with him.
The behaviour of the father disturbed me, as I wondered about parents like him who would fall to their knees for their children's bad behaviour.
We need to send out a message that no matter who you are, which school you are from, who your parents are and what they do, you alone have to face the consequences of your wrongdoing.
But it is tragic that we are thrown back to feudal times, where such sacrifice of dignity is needed so that someone else may get off for wrongdoing.
The writer, 22, is a second-year political science undergraduate. -
Originally posted by ShutterBug:
You will be surprise what parent will do to protect their child.
[b]BUS DRIVER BASHING: TWO VIEWS
Lesson from Chinese fable?
By Tiah Kiang Choon
May 16, 2007
I REMEMBER a fable from ancient China from a library book I read in my younger days.
It came to mind after I read that report on the junior college student who beat up a bus driver.
The fable was about this boy from a poor village in China who, at a young age, started beating up people and animals.
When villagers complained to his mother, what she did was to smile at the boy and told him not to do it again.
In his teens, he started harassing young girls and breaking into houses to steal. When he was caught, all his mother did was to apologise to others on his behalf.
One day, he stole jewels that were meant for the emperor. It was a capital offence, so he was to be executed.
At the execution, he told his mother he wanted to suckle at her breast one last time, but proceeded to bite off her nipple instead.
The man screamed: 'I am in this state today, because you never disciplined me at all. You never made me pay for my mistakes. Now I am paying for them, and so shall you!'
With that, he was executed.
I remember I was rather grossed-out at the tale, but I never forgot its lesson.
And it was why I was so upset when I read about the boy in school uniform who reportedly punched a bus driver when he and his girl friend were stopped from getting off the public bus.
They had earlier refused to let the driver confiscate the girl's Ez-link card, which was suspected to be stolen or lost.
My initial reaction was one of embarrassment when I saw which school the boy is from.
I was from Chinese High School which, together with Hwa Chong Junior College, is now Hwa Chong Institution - the boy's school.
Then I started getting annoyed when I read that the boy called his father crying when he realised the police had been called.
FORGIVENESS
If the boy felt 'man enough' to 'defend' his girlfriend and beat up someone over it, why wasn't he 'man enough' to face the consequences of what he had done?
When the bus driver drove into the terminal, the boy's father was waiting there to apologise, and to the amazement of many, the father knelt in front of the bus driver to seek forgiveness for his son.
At this part of the report, I gave up and flung the papers down in disgust.
I am not sure whose backbone was missing there - the father's or the son's.
Is there a lesson from this incident staring us in the face?
What was the father thinking? Did the father think he was helping his son?
What was the boy thinking as he saw his father kneeling there, giving up his self-respect, begging on his behalf?
As I discussed the issue with my parents, my father said flatly to me: 'If you ever do that, don't expect me to kneel for you. You do something wrong, you face up to it.'
I'm not going to argue with him.
The behaviour of the father disturbed me, as I wondered about parents like him who would fall to their knees for their children's bad behaviour.
We need to send out a message that no matter who you are, which school you are from, who your parents are and what they do, you alone have to face the consequences of your wrongdoing.
But it is tragic that we are thrown back to feudal times, where such sacrifice of dignity is needed so that someone else may get off for wrongdoing.
The writer, 22, is a second-year political science undergraduate.
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If parents keep this up, there will be a lot of "Kings" & "Queens" walking around in Singapore...Originally posted by Arapahoe:You will be surprise what parent will do to protect their child.
Really have no eyes to see then...
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such thinking is wide-spread.
already, some of the parents who meet their child's teacher either go into the defensive "i'm helpless" mode or the offensive "you discriminate against my child" mode.
when a friend of mine called a parent to inform them their child had skipped the exams, the parents responded that the school is pressuring their child and if the kid commits suicide, its the schools fault for asking him/her to take exams.
another father banged his fist on the principal's table because he did not believe that his son played truant for 4 weeks. accused the school of making life difficult for him (the father). he rather believe his son who claimed that he was in school everyday except that he stayed inside the toilet from 715-130pm instead of attending classes.
where do the seeds originate from? from the parents i guess... -
Firstly, the system puts too much pressure on kids, and schools are pampering parents and being too linient towards students.Originally posted by Lefleche:such thinking is wide-spread.
already, some of the parents who meet their child's teacher either go into the defensive "i'm helpless" mode or the offensive "you discriminate against my child" mode.
when a friend of mine called a parent to inform them their child had skipped the exams, the parents responded that the school is pressuring their child and if the kid commits suicide, its the schools fault for asking him/her to take exams.
another father banged his fist on the principal's table because he did not believe that his son played truant for 4 weeks. accused the school of making life difficult for him (the father). he rather believe his son who claimed that he was in school everyday except that he stayed inside the toilet from 715-130pm instead of attending classes.
where do the seeds originate from? from the parents i guess...
Secondly, our minister for education is blind to all this...
There you have it,the makings of a society of stuck-up crap-jammed literate people!
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the gin-na did it to show off in front of his gf but in reality has no balls to face up to authorities when the matas are called. only know how to bully people
i say that si gin-na deserves to be charged - otherwise he think he can suka suka punch people with disregard to the law. shame on him. and the father, is too overprotective of the kid becos he realise the consequences - he is from atas school and becos of this incident, his record & future is tainted, he will not the president scholor nor PSC scholor. his future is gone...thats why he begged and kenlt...haiz...poor father -
How convenient. Blame the government when you have not brought up your children properly. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Bring in corporal punishment...that will do it.Originally posted by ShutterBug:Firstly, the system puts too much pressure on kids, and schools are pampering parents and being too linient towards students.
Secondly, our minister for education is blind to all this...
There you have it,the makings of a society of stuck-up crap-jammed literate people! -
to begin with, the reason why the boy had it in him to behave in such a violent manner can be easily traced back to his home.
his parents must have always let him have his way in every single way. must have been a 'prince' at home. -
You must read and note that I do not side with the parents or the gov.Originally posted by oxford mushroom:How convenient. Blame the government when you have not brought up your children properly. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Bring in corporal punishment...that will do it.
If parents didn't do a good job in disciplining their children, the SCHOOLS, shouldn't in recent years, treat students like Little Emperrors and Empresses!
Who is truly sparing the rod?
Back in the old days of the 70s, ill mannered children are often disciplined in schools and later on when they enlist for National Service.
Today, all these have changed; NS has become softer, schools are afraid of parents...
What do you call this? Who is captain of this Land? -
True. The fact that teachers and even principals are losing more and more of their powers to the fact that they can be 'expelled' by a student and parents almost anytime, is shocking and very sad.Originally posted by ShutterBug:You must read and note that I do not side with the parents or the gov.
If parents didn't do a good job in disciplining their children, the SCHOOLS, shouldn't in recent years, treat students like Little Emperrors and Empresses!
Who is truly sparing the rod?
Back in the old days of the 70s, ill mannered children are often disciplined in schools and later on when they enlist for National Service.
Today, all these have changed; NS has become softer, schools are afraid of parents...
What do you call this? Who is captain of this Land? -
I heard from my friend while he was working in CMPB there was this particular mother who called to ask of her son can exempt from NS cos he cannot take any hardship, just see wat the kids and parents are becomingOriginally posted by ShutterBug:If parents keep this up, there will be a lot of "Kings" & "Queens" walking around in Singapore...
Really have no eyes to see then... -
These are the parents who are most likely to be abandoned by their kids in the future. Especially those who condoned their kids' wrongdoings like the father of the said HwaChong student.Originally posted by *=Optimus=*:I heard from my friend while he was working in CMPB there was this particular mother who called to ask of her son can exempt from NS cos he cannot take any hardship, just see wat the kids and parents are becoming -
Let me highlight the stark contrasts of teenage students of the past to those of todays:Originally posted by Slipshade:True. The fact that teachers and even principals are losing more and more of their powers to the fact that they can be 'expelled' by a student and parents almost anytime, is shocking and very sad.
Last time, when a student bumps into you in public they say "Sorry excuse me uncle.."
Today, they act as if you owe them the right of farking way!!! What sorry? They even sometimes look like wanna humptum you!
As such, I ask the gov and the system; What kind of society are you grooming up??? -
Originally posted by ShutterBug:
The kind that I want to run away from.
Let me highlight the stark contrasts of teenage students of the past to those of todays:
Last time, when a student bumps into you in public they say "Sorry excuse my uncle.."
Today, they act as if you owe them the right of farking way!!! What sorry? They even sometimes look like wanna humptum you!
As such, I ask the gov and the system; [b]What kind of society are you grooming up???
[/b]
What you said applies to young Yuppies adults, old people and people from mostr strata. Everyone here has an ENTITLEMENT attitude. Most people do not care for their fellow country-person. Charity is "forced" and unless there is some big prize, not many will donate.
Civility and grace is an unheard of concept in this country. -
Yes indeed you are very right...Originally posted by mistyblue:The kind that I want to run away from.
What you said applies to young Yuppies adults, old people and people from mostr strata. Everyone here has an ENTITLEMENT attitude. Most people do not care for their fellow country-person. Charity is "forced" and unless there is some big prize, not many will donate.
Civility and grace is an unheard of concept in this country.
This is sad....
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And it's just getting worse. Because it's the younger generations who are spoiling their kids. So our next generation will be full of D-heads and then those D-heads will breed and rear D-heads who will also breed and rear D-heads who will also.... And it goes on. It's a neverending vicious cycle.
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Well... there's entertainment value in D-heads like the Joo Chiat case... 
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I call this the influence of the liberal leftists. Singaporeans are turning into a bunch of whining ranters without self discipline. Bring back the cane in the schools, make our laws more stringent. Students who talk back at their teachers should be given two tight slaps. Parents of unruly children should be charged for irresponsible parenting and fined.Originally posted by ShutterBug:You must read and note that I do not side with the parents or the gov.
If parents didn't do a good job in disciplining their children, the SCHOOLS, shouldn't in recent years, treat students like Little Emperrors and Empresses!
Who is truly sparing the rod?
Back in the old days of the 70s, ill mannered children are often disciplined in schools and later on when they enlist for National Service.
Today, all these have changed; NS has become softer, schools are afraid of parents...
What do you call this? Who is captain of this Land? -
I finally agree with you...!Originally posted by oxford mushroom:I call this the influence of the liberal leftists. Singaporeans are turning into a bunch of whining ranters without self discipline. Bring back the cane in the schools, make our laws more stringent. Students who talk back at their teachers should be given two tight slaps. Parents of unruly children should be charged for irresponsible parenting and fined.
Stringent rules must be restored in schools, or this country will be over running with Little Emperrors and Empresses!
It's damn embarrassing to think that some foreigners will be reading about this problem with our kids! -
I also encountered the same situation in which I happened to hear parents asking their children to be posted to Police so they can have easier life in NS.Originally posted by *=Optimus=*:I heard from my friend while he was working in CMPB there was this particular mother who called to ask of her son can exempt from NS cos he cannot take any hardship, just see wat the kids and parents are becoming -
Imagine the chldren grew up, they will have difficulty adjusting to working.Originally posted by oxford mushroom:I call this the influence of the liberal leftists. Singaporeans are turning into a bunch of whining ranters without self discipline. Bring back the cane in the schools, make our laws more stringent. Students who talk back at their teachers should be given two tight slaps. Parents of unruly children should be charged for irresponsible parenting and fined. -
Yeah, and thereby helping to entrench the thugs in power for eternity. Grand idea, indeed...Originally posted by oxford mushroom:I call this the influence of the liberal leftists. Singaporeans are turning into a bunch of whining ranters without self discipline. Bring back the cane in the schools, make our laws more stringent. Students who talk back at their teachers should be given two tight slaps. Parents of unruly children should be charged for irresponsible parenting and fined. -
i think the father was hoping the bus driver wouldn't report police so that his son wouldn't have any police records. It is very natural for parents to ensure that though this father could have gone to the extreme.Originally posted by ShutterBug:If parents keep this up, there will be a lot of "Kings" & "Queens" walking around in Singapore...
Really have no eyes to see then...
It is also not necessary that the father is spoiling the kid, some teenagers do behave in rather erratic manner. -
The fact that it is the father who's begging when it should have been the kid instead, is what makes the whole thing so distasteful and disturbing. Remember that the boy did wrong, and he should be paying the price and be responsible for it. However, his father paid the price instead. What kind of mindset is that boy most likely to develop when something like that happens?Originally posted by pearlie27:i think the father was hoping the bus driver wouldn't report police so that his son wouldn't have any police records. It is very natural for parents to ensure that though this father could have gone to the extreme.
It is also not necessary that the father is spoiling the kid, some teenagers do behave in rather erratic manner.
He will never think he was in the wrong. He will never learn what he did was wrong. He will never learn responsibility.
Think I'm kidding? Think again.
When was the last time you apologised for something you did wrong? Did you apologise because you were truly remorseful over your actions, or were you simply afraid of the repercussions?
I have the impression that it's the latter for that boy. Why else is it his father who's doing all that he should do? -
I believe the HCJC guy over-reacted though I may react similary if someone tries to take away my transitlink card. I like him for not giving up easily and showing some fighting spirit. That's the way to deal with someone who bullies your gf.
Don't back down HCJCian.