yeah.. i agree raising up kids aren't easy.. =/
Originally posted by dumbdumb!:free falling.. quite fast la. haha. 15 floors nia. take you the most 30 seconds?
30 seconds ? i think less then that eh...
Originally posted by BadzMaro:30 seconds ? i think less then that eh...
ah ok. hmm my mistake. but point is.. too fast to think anything la.
Originally posted by dumbdumb!:ah ok. hmm my mistake. but point is.. too fast to think anything la.
lol..
maybe u are right.
man it sucks to be him.
Originally posted by skythewood:Boy jumped over CCA15-year-old wanted a switch but parents tried to dissuade him By Elena Chong, Courts Correspondent
A 15-YEAR-OLD jumped from the 11th-floor bedroom window of his home - in front of his mother - after a disagreement with his parents over his intention to switch his co-curricular activity (CCA) in school.Tan Wen Yi had wanted to switch from track-and-field to drama but his parents were against it.
Up till then, no one would have thought Wen Yi as a troubled or even self-destructive sort. The Secondary 3 student of Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) was described as cheerful and was well-liked by his classmates and respectful towards his teachers, the Coroner's Court heard yesterday.WHO TO CALL IF TROUBLED
- Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1800-221-4444
- Family Service Centre:1800-838-0100
A police investigation report presented in court said that on Feb 13 this year, Wen Yi skipped track-and-field training to play football. He was caught by his track teacher and questioned.
He later complained to his classmate that he had been dealt track training sessions four times a week as punishment; he also said he was going to die, but his classmate assumed he was joking.
On their way home in the same bus, Wen Yi was cracking jokes and did not appear depressed.
Staff Sergeant Raymond Chng of the Tanglin Police Division said in his investigation report that Wen Yi's mother received a call from the track teacher that afternoon about her son's ditching his training for football. The teacher, Mr Ng Yeong Joo, 38, who had been told that Wen Yi wanted to switch to drama, told the teen's mother to advise him against it.
That evening, in a talk with his parents in their Stevens Road condo home over the matter, Wen Yi said he had lost his inspiration to run and insisted on the switch.
His parents tried to talk him out of it, but he refused to listen.
He then announced that he had planned to make the switch the following month, 'but I am going to do it now'. He headed for his bedroom, followed by his mother, who sensed something amiss. Before her eyes, he walked up to the window, opened the blinds, climbed onto the ledge, pushed the window open and jumped out. She rushed forward but was too late.
Staff Sgt Chng said that a day before, Wen Yi had sent a classmate a text message in which he said he was going to commit a crime - jump off a building as a 'final feat of rebellion' and let his craziness be known to the world. 'Will you as a friend accompany me on this day?' he had asked.
When he took up track-and- field in 2006, his attendance was irregular, but he blossomed into a medal-winner last year.
His parents were not in court yesterday. Asked why by State Counsel Lee Cheow Han, Staff Sgt Chng said the couple have gone overseas to forget what had happened. They have another child, a girl aged 10.
State Coroner Earnest Lau recorded a verdict of suicide.
when a person commits suicide for no apparent or serious reason, it is never stupidity at work. rather, his mind has essentially broken down..... and incapable of rational thinking.
in other words, it was sheer madness that drove the boy to such a tragic end.
this usually happens when one lives in constant conflict with his environment, and is unable to harmonise with it.
Originally posted by BadzMaro:I wonder what was going on in his head when he was free falling down. Was he regretting his actions ? Was his life flashing before him ? Was he cursing his parents ? Was he hoping to to scar his parents for life smiling about it while head first unto the ground ?
mmmm... but anyways, guess we wont find out.
Hmm... I remember reading an article about suciders died halfway during the free fall before he even reaches the ground because the heart normally wouldn't be able to take the shock of the fall.
So most likely his heart went into a shock before he reaches the ground, thus there is nothing going on his head.
Then again, he's at the rebellion stage and to make it worst, his parents is strictly him too much. It not stupidity just like what arieswilson said, he is just unable to think right at that moment.
Originally posted by furb:Hmm... I remember reading an article about suciders died halfway during the free fall before he even reaches the ground because the heart normally wouldn't be able to take the shock of the fall.
So most likely his heart went into a shock before he reaches the ground, thus there is nothing going on his head.
faint. not die.
Originally posted by skythewood:faint. not die.
Whatever it is, he's not gonna feel the pain of his head hitting the ground.
i used to be from Drama Club and seriously, it isn't sissy. the hours you practiced for just a 15 minutes performance will turn out to be tougher than a regular 5BX.
parents nowadays are not spending enough time with their kids. seriously... yes, one will add in that their work does not permit them time or freedom to interact frequently with their children. that to me is bullsh*t... there are 2 parents. unless you are telling me both work until 10 pm everyday then i'll suggest... a change of work environment and time will benefit positively for the growth of your children and you.
the bond between parents and children are not "given", they are earned. unless they really understand what the child wants and not just give blind instructions, they are building an invisible barrier between them and the child. for example; my mum was never there emotionally for both me and my sister. her typical lifestyle was come home, cooked dinner and cleaned the whole house up. she just park us in front of either the tv or study table to do our homework. my dad was always teaching night classes thus he always come home late at night.
as i am 7 years older than my sis, i could say i practically became my sister's "mum". i took her out shopping, i took her to school, i took her out for meals, i took care of her "relationship" problems. (this boy wanted to take her out when she was 15 but she didn't like him. threatened my sister a little and me with, "my dad is a major in the army". big fark... in the end, had to "discipline" him)
my relationship with my sister also hindered my dating years. all my ex'es asked why she had to tag along but with no one at home, i can't possibly left her alone? some got along well with her, some didn't... some left cos' they can't stand her but as a brother, my responsibility superseded my wishes. all these only strengthened my bond with my sister... which also made my mum a little upset when she realised that we do not have the "heart" for her. my sister doesn't really bother about my mum, raised her voice frequently when my mum irritated her.
there was once mum chided her for not being respectful and all my sis said was, "what is respect? did you teach me respect? how to respect parents? i was never taught". morale of the story; spent more quality time with your children and know them well... know them before it's too late.
drama club... so dramatic
drama club is not all about being dramatic. it teaches you public speaking, public performance, training your "guts" to speak and perform in front of thousands. eliminates your fear of public speaking...
public speaking is ranked number 1 fear in the USA.
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/20061101/fear-public-speaking
after i went to Poly, i joined Student Ambassador and my training from drama club benefitted me alot. i hosted a number of events indoor and outdoor, MC'ed many many ceremonies and even ran open house. without the fear, it's easier to talk to crowds and masses. so it's not dramatic, it's beneficial.
Originally posted by mrvictor:this incident has shown two things:
1) there are an increasing group of people who are weak in the mind, who cannot face obstacles, difficulties without putting on a brave front. he should sit down and discuss with his parents properly. i fully understand why his parents want him to join track and field. even if they insist on their way, there are other ways to release the stress like listening to music, taking up drama as "merit cca" or doing it as a hobby and stlil continue with track. he has shown himself to be mentally weak in making decisions and even took his own life over a trivial matter. whether the cca case is an isolated incident has no relation.
2) to take his own life is an extremely selfish act to his parents. his parents worked hard to nurture him and pinned expectations on him to become a fine young athlete. he is not considering his parent's well-being and feelings when he commits suicide. the fault should not be put on his parents, maybe his parents have their own reasoning and beliefs as to why he should join track and field.
there are many more things to life than just choosing your cca. his priorities in life are not right and he cannot expect everything in life to go his way.
true, but nowadays singaporean kids have things served to them on silver platter.. or something like that.. and parents nowadays also make so many decisions for their kids that the kids become so 'accustomed' to not making decision liao.. here are my thoughts on points 1 and 2..
1) partly is parents' fault, though cannot fault them entirely. nowadays parents make decisions for their kids (cos they over-kiasu), den kids have no say.. well not all parents bahx, but most are like that. den when the kids say dun want, the parents dun give them choice, its either do or die.. my mum's lydat larhs.. so oftentime if someone asks me something whilst i'm with my mum, i just look at her for answer.. cos if i say yes, she'll tell me why i should say no. if i say no, she'll tell me why i should say yes. so how, lydat? den other times, when i say opposite of my mum, cos i really dun wan something (like if its wasting my time adn money, and if i already got other things planned), she ask me why im so rebellious. and all my relatives too. den lydat, i think its better to keep mouth shut and just suffer in silence. or, if really bth, just pang seh whatever she signed me up for lar. its her money what. and i already expressed that i REALLY dun want, but she dont let me dont want (got such thing arh??). but its not like i say opposite to spite her lor.. she really give me no choice until when i get angry, she also angry, so we cold war. den what happens? all the relatives say i should give in to her, just do it to humour her or whatever. but all my life i'v been 'humouring' her liao wor, going for camp/swimming/tennis/speech&drama/church just to make her happy nehx. nobody knows that inside im crying all the time for being such a f-ing fool and idiot for not being able to stand up for something i want/dun want. i sympathise with that boy, since he got his mum AND dad trying to convince him against what he want..he's feeling trapped. i think what he did was just spur of moment, cos if u'r so angry, u wont be able to think logically, rght? so i dont think he did consider that he's being selfish. after all, he's only 15. and most boys at that age not very mature (not tryign to offend u guys lar, but this is what i feel)
2) i dont deny he did a selfish thing. but at that moment he didnt think logically.. so bo bian liaox.. whats done is done.. cannot blame him also.. i guessed that his parents also nv listened to what he said.. like everytime he open his mouth to say why he dun like T&F, his parents would just cut in and 'oppose' his thoughts totally..like that he got no chance to even say that one (or a few) little things taht bug him about T&F..
that boy's only 15. and as i mentioned he probably wasnt matured enough mentally.. at that age.. sec sch age.. cca, friends, freedom are damn important to teens.. they still finding their identity what.. so i feel it very important to give them space and not stifle them..not force them to do anythign they dont want (unless its really really really good for them) let them have space lor.. i mean.. drama as cca is not bad what.. i duno whats wrong with that.. not sissy or anything mahx. T&F anyone can join, provided they train.. but drama not easy mah.. not everyone can do drama.. duno why the parents nv think of that.. aiyo..
no doubt kids do silly things when they do things on impulse.. but i think it important that parents and kids should sit down adn hear each other out.. have open minds..not cut the other person's conversation.. but oftentimes its that both parties dont have open minds cos they think the other party will always say the opposite..
Originally posted by novelltie:i used to be from Drama Club and seriously, it isn't sissy. the hours you practiced for just a 15 minutes performance will turn out to be tougher than a regular 5BX.
parents nowadays are not spending enough time with their kids. seriously... yes, one will add in that their work does not permit them time or freedom to interact frequently with their children. that to me is bullsh*t... there are 2 parents. unless you are telling me both work until 10 pm everyday then i'll suggest... a change of work environment and time will benefit positively for the growth of your children and you.
the bond between parents and children are not "given", they are earned. unless they really understand what the child wants and not just give blind instructions, they are building an invisible barrier between them and the child. for example; my mum was never there emotionally for both me and my sister. her typical lifestyle was come home, cooked dinner and cleaned the whole house up. she just park us in front of either the tv or study table to do our homework. my dad was always teaching night classes thus he always come home late at night.
as i am 7 years older than my sis, i could say i practically became my sister's "mum". i took her out shopping, i took her to school, i took her out for meals, i took care of her "relationship" problems. (this boy wanted to take her out when she was 15 but she didn't like him. threatened my sister a little and me with, "my dad is a major in the army". big fark... in the end, had to "discipline" him)
my relationship with my sister also hindered my dating years. all my ex'es asked why she had to tag along but with no one at home, i can't possibly left her alone? some got along well with her, some didn't... some left cos' they can't stand her but as a brother, my responsibility superseded my wishes. all these only strengthened my bond with my sister... which also made my mum a little upset when she realised that we do not have the "heart" for her. my sister doesn't really bother about my mum, raised her voice frequently when my mum irritated her.
there was once mum chided her for not being respectful and all my sis said was, "what is respect? did you teach me respect? how to respect parents? i was never taught". morale of the story; spent more quality time with your children and know them well... know them before it's too late.
hahaha.. quality time or quantity time with my mum i also dun wan arh.. she so f-ing bossy. alot of times i also wanna do like that boy did.. but i nv.. cos for me no matter how angry i get i still can rationalise.. as in know what im doing/going to do is wrong.. but, cos i thought, since already in trouble, get in more trouble nvm de.. but if i step off the ledge.. i know life is not redeemable.. so nv do that..
but xiao di di here didnt think of that.. sad larhx. i mean, at most he should just stand at the ledge, scare his parents abit what. or just quit his T&F without caring what his parents say.. cos afterall our lives are our own.. parents can and should only guide from sidelines..i totally dont agree with authoritarian parents like his (and mine)
stupid la, 15 only go suicidal, I mean, i don't mind dying, only thing is that I would be thinkin tat i haven enjoy all the finer things in life den so fast die oso no meanin...so u get my drift
good for him...no national slavery for him, no reservist for him, no PAP sucking his future cpf money, no HOTA, no erp , no foreign talent snatching ricebowls, no fines blah blah blah...etc..
poor kid
Stupid kid. Like that only want to commit suicide.
...teenagers find it hard to control their own emotions... and they act impulsively...
The parents should be wiser and not push and push him... they should know how to hold back when it gets too heated... if the parents cannot control their own emotions, how to blame the kid?
Originally posted by Kuali Baba:He didn't ask to be born. He's just the side effect of one night of unprotected pleasure.
haha nice one!
Originally posted by kengkia:good for him...no national slavery for him, no reservist for him, no PAP sucking his future cpf money, no HOTA, no erp , no foreign talent snatching ricebowls, no fines blah blah blah...etc..
you can opt out from HOTA what, i did!
Originally posted by novelltie:i used to be from Drama Club and seriously, it isn't sissy. the hours you practiced for just a 15 minutes performance will turn out to be tougher than a regular 5BX.
parents nowadays are not spending enough time with their kids. seriously... yes, one will add in that their work does not permit them time or freedom to interact frequently with their children. that to me is bullsh*t... there are 2 parents. unless you are telling me both work until 10 pm everyday then i'll suggest... a change of work environment and time will benefit positively for the growth of your children and you.
the bond between parents and children are not "given", they are earned. unless they really understand what the child wants and not just give blind instructions, they are building an invisible barrier between them and the child. for example; my mum was never there emotionally for both me and my sister. her typical lifestyle was come home, cooked dinner and cleaned the whole house up. she just park us in front of either the tv or study table to do our homework. my dad was always teaching night classes thus he always come home late at night.
as i am 7 years older than my sis, i could say i practically became my sister's "mum". i took her out shopping, i took her to school, i took her out for meals, i took care of her "relationship" problems. (this boy wanted to take her out when she was 15 but she didn't like him. threatened my sister a little and me with, "my dad is a major in the army". big fark... in the end, had to "discipline" him)
my relationship with my sister also hindered my dating years. all my ex'es asked why she had to tag along but with no one at home, i can't possibly left her alone? some got along well with her, some didn't... some left cos' they can't stand her but as a brother, my responsibility superseded my wishes. all these only strengthened my bond with my sister... which also made my mum a little upset when she realised that we do not have the "heart" for her. my sister doesn't really bother about my mum, raised her voice frequently when my mum irritated her.
there was once mum chided her for not being respectful and all my sis said was, "what is respect? did you teach me respect? how to respect parents? i was never taught". morale of the story; spent more quality time with your children and know them well... know them before it's too late.
so now you're married?
Originally posted by BadzMaro:I wonder what was going on in his head when he was free falling down. Was he regretting his actions ? Was his life flashing before him ? Was he cursing his parents ? Was he hoping to to scar his parents for life smiling about it while head first unto the ground ?
mmmm... but anyways, guess we wont find out.
i contemplate the same question too!
we know that it is stupid to jump over this matter ... but the 15 years old, at that time of moment cannot rationalised this ... he could be lost, angry and is not able to convince his parent ... at that moment, he see no meaning in life ... he do not know waht to do and since he had sucidal thought before, he naturally do what he thought was the right thing .. please do not call him stupid .. have we consider his plight, his feeling, his emotion, he was lost and helpless... he just wanted to end it all.
then again, can we blame the parent... tell me, how many of you have graduated from a school of parenting that taught you how to be a good parent, doing the right stuff and bring the child up properly ?? There is any right? Even if there are books, they call tell you so much as it will not work for many as the enviroment, culture, character are never the same ... many of us are on a permanant probation as a parent.. learning from mistake .. and picking up a few things here and there ... I hated it when people say the parent should do this and should do that ... if parent do know, you thing they still want to do it and failed ... sigh ... I can only say the boy's parent may not see what is coming and is trying to convince him what is good and right for him...
Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:we know that it is stupid to jump over this matter ... but the 15 years old, at that time of moment cannot rationalised this ... he could be lost, angry and is not able to convince his parent ... at that moment, he see no meaning in life ... he do not know waht to do and since he had sucidal thought before, he naturally do what he thought was the right thing .. please do not call him stupid .. have we consider his plight, his feeling, his emotion, he was lost and helpless... he just wanted to end it all.
then again, can we blame the parent... tell me, how many of you have graduated from a school of parenting that taught you how to be a good parent, doing the right stuff and bring the child up properly ?? There is any right? Even if there are books, they call tell you so much as it will not work for many as the enviroment, culture, character are never the same ... many of us are on a permanant probation as a parent.. learning from mistake .. and picking up a few things here and there ... I hated it when people say the parent should do this and should do that ... if parent do know, you thing they still want to do it and failed ... sigh ... I can only say the boy's parent may not see what is coming and is trying to convince him what is good and right for him...
of course not. parents are humans too. but bringing a child into this world is a lot of responsibility. and every parent ought to think abt that before they decide to have children.
not every mistake can be remedied. surely it must be a series of very bad mistakes that led the boy to kill himself. how did things reach that stage?
i agree tt we must be compassionate to the family. but still, the actions of the parents seem to be a catalyst for the suicide. hope they can see tt perhaps they had done wrong and not repeat the same mistakes for their second child.
Originally posted by furb:Hmm... I remember reading an article about suciders died halfway during the free fall before he even reaches the ground because the heart normally wouldn't be able to take the shock of the fall.
So most likely his heart went into a shock before he reaches the ground, thus there is nothing going on his head.
Then again, he's at the rebellion stage and to make it worst, his parents is strictly him too much. It not stupidity just like what arieswilson said, he is just unable to think right at that moment.
How about skydiving ? or bungee jumping ? mmmm... anyways i heard about the heart in shock , now that u brought it up.