boy commit suicide over CCA matters
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Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:
we know that it is stupid to jump over this matter ... but the 15 years old, at that time of moment cannot rationalised this ... he could be lost, angry and is not able to convince his parent ... at that moment, he see no meaning in life ... he do not know waht to do and since he had sucidal thought before, he naturally do what he thought was the right thing .. please do not call him stupid .. have we consider his plight, his feeling, his emotion, he was lost and helpless... he just wanted to end it all.
then again, can we blame the parent... tell me, how many of you have graduated from a school of parenting that taught you how to be a good parent, doing the right stuff and bring the child up properly ?? There is any right? Even if there are books, they call tell you so much as it will not work for many as the enviroment, culture, character are never the same ... many of us are on a permanant probation as a parent.. learning from mistake .. and picking up a few things here and there ... I hated it when people say the parent should do this and should do that ... if parent do know, you thing they still want to do it and failed ... sigh ... I can only say the boy's parent may not see what is coming and is trying to convince him what is good and right for him...
in the black and white matter - the parents were obviously the one who caused the situation. but in the light of mercy, yes, they wouldn't have known better, and were only doing the best they could - if all you have is a hammer, every problem would look like a nail.
but unfortunately, i've seen so many controlling parents - controlling to a fault. fiery temper, my way or the high way, it really disgusts me so. all the kids i've seen with controlling parents, either turn up dead, or suddenly in one fit of rebelliousness go wild and become party boys and girls.
so i can't really... close one eye and just use a "it's just bad luck" to wrap up the entire scenario.
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The choice of skipping my NPCC for five years was worth it...after all
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
The choice of skipping my NPCC for five years was worth it...after all
npcc skills might be handy if you just happen to be posted to police for NS
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Originally posted by skythewood:
npcc skills might be handy if you just happen to be posted to police for NS
what are the odds lor.
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
what are the odds lor.
it just might happen -
Originally posted by skythewood:
it just might happen
So far...no difference leh -
i've seen ppl NPCC go SCDF. NCC go police... NCC go SCDF...
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
So far...no difference leh
you won't know since you skipped your cca right, haha... -
Originally posted by sinicker:
i've seen ppl NPCC go SCDF. NCC go police... NCC go SCDF...
me too. not saying that you have higer chance to go respective service, just saying the skills might come in handy
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Originally posted by skythewood:
you won't know since you skipped your cca right, haha...
Please enlighten me...master
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
Please enlighten me...masteri wasn't in npcc either, ah sir...
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Originally posted by skythewood:
i wasn't in npcc either, ah sir...
Forgiven... -
join st john the best la,learn how to save lives,haha,i was even a medic in army
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Originally posted by Ageleon:
join st john the best la,learn how to save lives,haha,i was even a medic in army
st john not as cool as npcc. ;)
but anyways, deviating fr the topic liao...
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He sad lo...CCA onli mah...no big deal...kena wat stay with wat lo
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Originally posted by mrvictor:
this incident has shown two things:
1) there are an increasing group of people who are weak in the mind, who cannot face obstacles, difficulties without putting on a brave front. he should sit down and discuss with his parents properly. i fully understand why his parents want him to join track and field. even if they insist on their way, there are other ways to release the stress like listening to music, taking up drama as "merit cca" or doing it as a hobby and stlil continue with track. he has shown himself to be mentally weak in making decisions and even took his own life over a trivial matter. whether the cca case is an isolated incident has no relation.
2) to take his own life is an extremely selfish act to his parents. his parents worked hard to nurture him and pinned expectations on him to become a fine young athlete. he is not considering his parent's well-being and feelings when he commits suicide. the fault should not be put on his parents, maybe his parents have their own reasoning and beliefs as to why he should join track and field.
there are many more things to life than just choosing your cca. his priorities in life are not right and he cannot expect everything in life to go his way.
Thats a pretty fucked up argument. Pardon my french, but its not directed at you but rather at your argument.
1. Do you even know the full story behind this boy's life? What kinda stress or difficulty he's been through? Would he have time for Drama as a "hobby" when he has 4 times a week track training? Not every human being is a rational being, even more so for a 15 year old. He did sit down to discuss with his parents to discuss about the switch of CCA, but the parents refused.
Now, I cannot imagine what grounds a parent would have to object and refuse to their child's decision over a "trivial" matter like a CCA. If it was a "trivial" matter, surely the parents would consent and this tragedy would not have happened. The problem was that the parents did not see it as "trivial" while the child did. What then is having a "strong mind"? I think he was pretty "resolute" about his decision even at the price of death.
2. I think this is the worst thing I've ever heard. THat a child's life is to live up to the nurture and expectation pinned on him. So is a human's life nothing more than just a long term investment with expected high ROI. What kinda value system is it that we have here that we consider our children to be just the bearer of or nurture and xpectations? Every Child is a Unique individual, with his own dreams and aspirations. You crush those hopes and dreams when you talk about him as just an "investment."
Its not getting easier being a kid in Singapore. You've got a stressful education system with so much foreign competition. You've got parents with materialistic value systems that devalues the child to just an investment. When the child fails to see himself as another unique individual, entitled to his own dreams and his own future, what is there to live for? To be just another piece of meat for others to consume?
For a person to be treated as an investment by his own parents has gotta be the worst value system a society can have.
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Originally posted by Shotgun:
Thats a pretty fucked up argument. Pardon my french, but its not directed at you but rather at your argument.
1. Do you even know the full story behind this boy's life? What kinda stress or difficulty he's been through? Would he have time for Drama as a "hobby" when he has 4 times a week track training? Not every human being is a rational being, even more so for a 15 year old. He did sit down to discuss with his parents to discuss about the switch of CCA, but the parents refused.
Now, I cannot imagine what grounds a parent would have to object and refuse to their child's decision over a "trivial" matter like a CCA. If it was a "trivial" matter, surely the parents would consent and this tragedy would not have happened. The problem was that the parents did not see it as "trivial" while the child did. What then is having a "strong mind"? I think he was pretty "resolute" about his decision even at the price of death.
2. I think this is the worst thing I've ever heard. THat a child's life is to live up to the nurture and expectation pinned on him. So is a human's life nothing more than just a long term investment with expected high ROI. What kinda value system is it that we have here that we consider our children to be just the bearer of or nurture and xpectations? Every Child is a Unique individual, with his own dreams and aspirations. You crush those hopes and dreams when you talk about him as just an "investment."
Its not getting easier being a kid in Singapore. You've got a stressful education system with so much foreign competition. You've got parents with materialistic value systems that devalues the child to just an investment. When the child fails to see himself as another unique individual, entitled to his own dreams and his own future, what is there to live for? To be just another piece of meat for others to consume?
For a person to be treated as an investment by his own parents has gotta be the worst value system a society can have.
yup. and even if the boy was "mentally weak", how did he end up that way? all babies are born with a clean slate... and psychologically speaking, there is strong evidence to suggest tt the personality of a child is shaped by the time he is age seven.
if he had experienced parental love and knew tt he won't be "rejected" for being himself, why wld suicide even enter his mind over such a "trivial" matter?
teenage years are the hardest and most confusing times.
parents really gotta *listen* to their kids and persuade them to do the right thing... not simply enforce their will on them...
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all kids should be made to read "Seven Habits of highly effectively teens" by Sean Covey.
my sons read this book while they were around 10 to 11 yrs old.
my teenage older son is taller than me and can beat me to a pulp if he wants to.... but we all get around very very well, do projects together, play games, discuss life etc.
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lucky he do it early. One life gone. If not he go army hor.... take one mag of GPMG and start sweeping across the training ground... wah......
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Originally posted by Shotgun:
Thats a pretty fucked up argument. Pardon my french, but its not directed at you but rather at your argument.
1. Do you even know the full story behind this boy's life? What kinda stress or difficulty he's been through? Would he have time for Drama as a "hobby" when he has 4 times a week track training? Not every human being is a rational being, even more so for a 15 year old. He did sit down to discuss with his parents to discuss about the switch of CCA, but the parents refused.
Now, I cannot imagine what grounds a parent would have to object and refuse to their child's decision over a "trivial" matter like a CCA. If it was a "trivial" matter, surely the parents would consent and this tragedy would not have happened. The problem was that the parents did not see it as "trivial" while the child did. What then is having a "strong mind"? I think he was pretty "resolute" about his decision even at the price of death.
2. I think this is the worst thing I've ever heard. THat a child's life is to live up to the nurture and expectation pinned on him. So is a human's life nothing more than just a long term investment with expected high ROI. What kinda value system is it that we have here that we consider our children to be just the bearer of or nurture and xpectations? Every Child is a Unique individual, with his own dreams and aspirations. You crush those hopes and dreams when you talk about him as just an "investment."
Its not getting easier being a kid in Singapore. You've got a stressful education system with so much foreign competition. You've got parents with materialistic value systems that devalues the child to just an investment. When the child fails to see himself as another unique individual, entitled to his own dreams and his own future, what is there to live for? To be just another piece of meat for others to consume?
For a person to be treated as an investment by his own parents has gotta be the worst value system a society can have.
hmm from my experience in scdf.. it takes alot of.. pent up depression to give someone enough guts to sucide. and i'm talking about a rational person, not a lunatic.
and i quite agree.. it doesn't take much to be a father and mother, but it takes alot to be a mum and dad.
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Originally posted by Shotgun:
2. I think this is the worst thing I've ever heard. THat a child's life is to live up to the nurture and expectation pinned on him. So is a human's life nothing more than just a long term investment with expected high ROI. What kinda value system is it that we have here that we consider our children to be just the bearer of or nurture and xpectations? Every Child is a Unique individual, with his own dreams and aspirations. You crush those hopes and dreams when you talk about him as just an "investment."
Its not getting easier being a kid in Singapore. You've got a stressful education system with so much foreign competition. You've got parents with materialistic value systems that devalues the child to just an investment. When the child fails to see himself as another unique individual, entitled to his own dreams and his own future, what is there to live for? To be just another piece of meat for others to consume?
For a person to be treated as an investment by his own parents has gotta be the worst value system a society can have.
cca decision-making might be important because it shows whether the parents enforce their decision on the child or give the child the go-ahead, however, compared to the importance of life, cca, or even many other matters, getting into the school of dream, or similar seem absolutely trivial. there are many more things you can do with you life.
a child is definitely not just an investment, of course by parents care and nurture their children because they truly love their children. i did not say that children are only investments, although there is a certain element of it. but the main issue goes back to the parents' love, as you mentioned for the child. by taking his own life, his parents will be heartbroken because deep down in their hearts, regardless of the arguments they had with him, they still truly love him and to lose a son because of a reckless decision he made, they feel crestfallen as if some part of their life died down.
of course the love for the child plays the most crucial and significant aspect of the parents' feelings. however, there is a small aspect which is the investment part. the chinese saying goes "yin shui si yuan". repay the elders as they have once nurtured and raised you.
also, pressure for singaporean children is nothing compared to those in korea, china and japan. because of the limited number of university places in these countries and the vast numbers of people applying, children there are given more stress as the entrance ratios in cases are 100:1, but more often 30:1.
in singapore, 30% of each cohort gets the opportunity to get to university. it is a 5:4ratio, 5 people competing for 4 places, considering only those who applied for university. there is so much less challenge in getting a place in that secondary school, JC or university of choice because the odds are so high. and every parent is definitely guided by 1) love. but you should never count out the investment bit which plays a 20% role at least in raising of children
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Originally posted by cathykitty:
yup. and even if the boy was "mentally weak", how did he end up that way? all babies are born with a clean slate... and psychologically speaking, there is strong evidence to suggest tt the personality of a child is shaped by the time he is age seven.
if he had experienced parental love and knew tt he won't be "rejected" for being himself, why wld suicide even enter his mind over such a "trivial" matter?
teenage years are the hardest and most confusing times.
parents really gotta *listen* to their kids and persuade them to do the right thing... not simply enforce their will on them...
excessive control by parents...e child kenna -
Originally posted by mrvictor:
cca decision-making might be important because it shows whether the parents enforce their decision on the child or give the child the go-ahead, however, compared to the importance of life, cca, or even many other matters, getting into the school of dream, or similar seem absolutely trivial. there are many more things you can do with you life.
a child is definitely not just an investment, of course by parents care and nurture their children because they truly love their children. i did not say that children are only investments, although there is a certain element of it. but the main issue goes back to the parents' love, as you mentioned for the child. by taking his own life, his parents will be heartbroken because deep down in their hearts, regardless of the arguments they had with him, they still truly love him and to lose a son because of a reckless decision he made, they feel crestfallen as if some part of their life died down.
of course the love for the child plays the most crucial and significant aspect of the parents' feelings. however, there is a small aspect which is the investment part. the chinese saying goes "yin shui si yuan". repay the elders as they have once nurtured and raised you.
also, pressure for singaporean children is nothing compared to those in korea, china and japan. because of the limited number of university places in these countries and the vast numbers of people applying, children there are given more stress as the entrance ratios in cases are 100:1, but more often 30:1.
in singapore, 30% of each cohort gets the opportunity to get to university. it is a 5:4ratio, 5 people competing for 4 places, considering only those who applied for university. there is so much less challenge in getting a place in that secondary school, JC or university of choice because the odds are so high. and every parent is definitely guided by 1) love. but you should never count out the investment bit which plays a 20% role at least in raising of children
not every parent thinks like u. some parents who dunno better show their "love" in very selfish ways.
at what age do u think a child shld be held completely responsible for his own behaviour? to me, 15 is still quite young and impressionable..
his parents have gone overseas for a holiday. but i doubt a holiday can erase the memory of losing a child. :/
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duno why some pple blame parents, some blame kid some duno blame what....
if that kid canot see open and see broken hor... then really bo pian.... A teenager got a mind of his own liao....... He chose to end it and be it lor.
True lah... we feel sad when we read such stories, but on the other hand, it serves as a warning to all. Dont drive anybody up the wall. Some may chose to end it in a more drastic way. Can happen to anybody here.
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this punishment is too harsh for the parents .... no chance to redeem too ..