dont always blame the kids
blame the stupid parents, dont tell me no savings for retirement at all???
and also, why ALL 6 children vanish? there has got to be a reason. is she a very bad parent? treating her kids badly when they were younger? if she is a good parent, she wont end up like this.
Originally posted by Rapister:dont always blame the kids
blame the stupid parents, dont tell me no savings for retirement at all???
and also, why ALL 6 children vanish? there has got to be a reason. is she a very bad parent? treating her kids badly when they were younger? if she is a good parent, she wont end up like this.
This may be going too far, most of our grand parents who migrated here aren't exactly the well educated types. They mostly adhere to the teachings of their ancestors that their children are going to take care of them. I doubt they even earned that much to be able to save for their retirements.
That said however, you brought up a good point. I have seen some elderly who are very well loved and cherished by their children. Our attitude towards life is still ultimately shaped by our parents, if the children grows up to be so unfilfial the parents must bear the biggest responsibility.
I would agree to Stevenson's first part.
We Singaporeans come from humble stock. Largely uneducated, but that does not mean parents do not love their children. Most of us are conservative asians with typical asian and confucian values, and unlike westerners, our parents love are not shown outwardly. But love us they do.
I had encountered before a typical poor family. The father died early. The mother worked as a coffeeshop dishwasher to bring up her 4 sons. Being uneducated, lacking the opportunity our colonnial masters never gave in education, she let her sons roam free.
The 1st son grew up, streetwise, became a cardsharp, married and left the family. The 3rd son, who love the mother the most, didnt complete his schooling and worked as a cleaner, and could not afford to look after his mother.
The 4 son joined a gang and one day died from overdose.
The 2nd son, a never do well, gambled, owed debts, force the mother to sell her only possession, a 3 room flat. With the proceeds, he pay off his debts and fled to Malaysia, leaving the 3rd son to look after his mother in a rented flat.
While our nation had progress, there are still pockets of poor left in our society, paying the price for the choices they made. It's no use blaming anyone. They are human, flawed just like anyone else, and need to survive.
If we are to survive as a society, where we need each other to survive, we as a society must never forget those who got left behind, and help in anyway we can. Lets not play the blame game. Lives are at stake.
whatever she did, it's no reason for the children to totaly abandon her like that. at least have some heart, a few dollars also cannot spare meh? besides, much as you hate your parents, they did bring you up, even if you dont feel like talking to them or has no money or whatever the reason at least like send a few bucks a month right?
$50 a month from each kid = $300. with government assistance at least it should be enough to pay for the bare basic stuff given that she has already cleared her housing loans.
She has the option of taking her children to court under the Maintenance of Parents Act. If she has been totally irresponsible as a parent and the court rules against her, she can be detained and housed under the Destitute Persons Act if she has no 'no visible means of subsistence'.
She has the option of taking her children to court under the Maintenance of Parents Act. If she has been totally irresponsible as a parent and the court rules against her, she can be detained and housed under the Destitute Persons Act if she has no 'no visible means of subsistence'.
Yes. We can always turn to the courts to settle anything, even family problems. This is our modern society's way to solve moral dilemmas - judgement from independent parties instead of compromising the nation's pragmatic stand on welfarism.
I once knew of an a lady in her mid thirties. She was an A level student, bright as anyone of you here but because her familly was poor, she never made it to Uni.
She was young and pretty then, worked in an MNC, and spent most of her time in that expatriate circle of middle aged and married men. But in time, as she aged, her chances of getting married was smaller, as well as her job opportunities when the MNC relocated.
Her mother fell illed, took a chunk out of her CPF in medical fees but died later, and then her aged father too fell ill and senile. She sold her flat to pay for his medical fees and lived in a rented flat.
She took on a sales job, the worse trade of our times as employers paid her a small basic salary of only hundreds, but expected her to earn from her commissions, which are often meagre after deductions.
She could ill afford to pay for her living, let alone maintenance medical fees and homecare for her father who needed attention for his illness.
In his senility, he cried to social workers that he was not taken care of and was advised to go to courts to demand her only daughter pay for his maintenance, or go to jail if she fails to do so.
It was in this state that i found that lady crying silently on the river steps of Boat Quay one night.
Singapore is ruled by law. The law is blind and rightfully so. It is across the board. But had family court become a harsh alternative instead of compassionate rule?
Legislators and elected officials propose laws. They are human too. But had they consider the human angle to sufferings of our poor and disadvantage?
Is there any other alternative than to force the law into 'grey' ground cases?
Had we all grown so rich, we leave it to laws to enforce its own brand of 'compassion' and use it as our moral ground to turn a blind eye to others'' suffering?
Not that we lost all compassion about family relation, just that schools and insitutions emphasized more on academy result rather than civil responsibility, my Dad said last time he got study confucians, elder respect and good of religions. But me never study, look at confucian also get confused. So, alway kenna scold by Dad for not respect him.
Therefore, i come to the conclusion that upbringing is very important, once the alignment of respecting our elder is shifted to respecting govt or science or math or IT or whatever academy you are pursuing, the thinking of being filial piety to parents or ancestors will no more be present.
Rather than to spoil the New Year mood with my previous post, perhaps i must add that a solution is at hand.
1. Medical Costs are the greatest divider of families whom faces aged parents. It is often beyond the affordability of the average citizen, and had only continue to rise.
Means testing is a way to ensure that our poor and disadvantaged would get a faired deal. Another way is to search always for cheaper hospitalisation and medical costs.
2. I am heartened to know of our super rich citizens comming out with their hard earned money to fund social welfare by giving out to charities and fund raising.
Such money would go to build and employ better after-care services for our elderly whom our poorer citizens cannot afford, amongst many other social programmes.
It is a good sign of progress and maturity of our nation. May it continue and give hope to all and everyone of us to emulate their sacrifices, as well as hope to our poor and disadvantaged that if they need help when they sincerly tried all else and fail, there are still fellow citizens whom can help, if not financially, at least point them to the right direction to those who can.
Not all Singaporeans subscribe to 'law by law' as solutions to ease others' suffering, nor do they break laws to do it. Selfless Human compassion is above any man made laws.
Originally posted by xtreyier:Yes. We can always turn to the courts to settle anything, even family problems. This is our modern society's way to solve moral dilemmas - judgement from independent parties instead of compromising the nation's pragmatic stand on welfarism.
I once knew of an a lady in her mid thirties. She was an A level student, bright as anyone of you here but because her familly was poor, she never made it to Uni.
She was young and pretty then, worked in an MNC, and spent most of her time in that expatriate circle of middle aged and married men. But in time, as she aged, her chances of getting married was smaller, as well as her job opportunities when the MNC relocated.
Her mother fell illed, took a chunk out of her CPF in medical fees but died later, and then her aged father too fell ill and senile. She sold her flat to pay for his medical fees and lived in a rented flat.
She took on a sales job, the worse trade of our times as employers paid her a small basic salary of only hundreds, but expected her to earn from her commissions, which are often meagre after deductions.
She could ill afford to pay for her living, let alone maintenance medical fees and homecare for her father who needed attention for his illness.
In his senility, he cried to social workers that he was not taken care of and was advised to go to courts to demand her only daughter pay for his maintenance, or go to jail if she fails to do so.
It was in this state that i found that lady crying silently on the river steps of Boat Quay one night.
Singapore is ruled by law. The law is blind and rightfully so. It is across the board. But had family court become a harsh alternative instead of compassionate rule?
Legislators and elected officials propose laws. They are human too. But had they consider the human angle to sufferings of our poor and disadvantage?
Is there any other alternative than to force the law into 'grey' ground cases?
Had we all grown so rich, we leave it to laws to enforce its own brand of 'compassion' and use it as our moral ground to turn a blind eye to others'' suffering?
There will always be the poor in every society. Singapore's approach is to rely on family support first, then the community and finally the state. If there are so many compassionate people in the family and community, there is no need to go to the courts. But precisely because there are instances when family members refuse to do their part, the courts must step in. The courts will decide if the daughter in your story is able to maintain her parent. If she is not able to, there are welfare schemes available to help. For those who absolutely have no means to maintain themselves, there are public institutions who will take them in until their dying days.