Is the Husband being discriminated against... Family Court?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
there is no fault or default here, everyone has his/her rights to different opinons just as everyone have a different assxxxxi'd enjoy a good debate, but u'll need to have more substance to pique my interest.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
Man.. if the other woman is taken care off why she need charter ? Got own house , business to run.. maybe just lack a real father for the child.
Just hope no future contest in will.. or all will b sexposed !
If yr Dad in oversea decided to marry her, sex her and borne a few childrens and later decided to dump her??? how, you take over is it?? Like father, Like son.At least the women charter recognised what is Bigamy and yr poor oversea mum by law get some compensation
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Well, i trust my dad wont do something as foolish as that.. as to marry.. another.
Can only marry one but can have a few. They financially secure liaw.. just hope they dun get greedy in the future n come throw ppl face ask this ask that. Or my mum will do the beat down on thier asses. he he
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Originally posted by kilfer:
i'd enjoy a good debate, but u'll need to have more substance to pique my interest.
OMG, u need me to stimulate your interest??? u must be joking? C'mon Men, it isn't even a debate, this is cyber, we are here for fun, not a penny more, not a penny. I do understand men to make them stand, but i still find gay very fascinating. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:
Well, you're being vague about your expectations in the first place.
Infact.. I do agree that claiming part is rather redundant. I'd rather the court just AWARD base on whatever considerations the case presents.
It doesn't matter if it's 10%, 50%, 100% or 200%. Just leave it to the judge to decide.
The point is it is written in black and white, as such becomes a default consideration in favour of the girls.Ofcors it affects your quality of life, are you suggesting that only the man's quality of life post divorce is utmost important while the wife and children's should be cast to oblivion ?
I have been saying that it should not be a default consideration in favour of the girls. It should be more level. I did not suggest the annulment of anything.
Less prominent role ? So you're saying as long as she no longer gets her hands dirty with cleaning agents and washing poopy diapers.. her importance has effectively been diminished ? Not so my dear. If doing house chores is a means of establishing prominence, then why are we still paying meagre wages to our maids ? Shouldn't the maid too deserves a cut of the family wealth during a divorce ?
The determinant here is the amount of EFFORT each contributes in establishing the well being of the family and accumulation of family wealth , that is what truly matters.
No. I am stating the fact that they in general do indeed play less of the role of a traditional wife. I did not say that she is NOT IMPORTANT. Being a full-time wife as per tradition would probably mean she spends more time in the house which probably suggests more personal bonding time with the kids. I am not saying it is right or wrong or anything, simply the effects of it. The maid does not get anything because she is not under the law nor socially perceived as a part of the family. She is in essence a paid employee.
Then like that TS is a bad husband lor ????? Then the TS wife is a bad wife lah.. then like that how you think the judge will award the dispute ??? Both of them are just as bad. (chuckle).
No comment as per below.
I will not comment on this since 1) i am not a judge (This is actually a silly argument cos while ppl like to say "who are you to judge me", actually we are all judging people all our lives both consciously and subconciously), 2) i did not hear his wife's side of the story, 3) There is not enough details in his description.
Agree.
Well, lets put it this way.. GOD didn't make men and women equal. Not physically, not emotionally nor psychologically.
So in your opinion it is indeed a divine right of women? If that is so, probably this thread is redundant.Social conditioning.. heard of that ? The idea is to deter. As long as you don;t do it.. you don;t have to worry.
Like porn.. , many can argue it is an unfair act against freedom of choice. But the fundamental reason is not about fairness. it is about deterrence.
Indeed a deterence that makes one party pay the price for an act in which both party knowingly agreed. It suggests that men are evil and women are always the innocent party. So in your opinion, it is right for men to take the blame for it? even though the act is mutual?How is this difficult to proof? Abuses can be reported and documented. Ofcors if you are merely crying wolf.. then it is very difficult to prove lah.
Something that you are automatically given preference and benefit of the doubt vs something you have to prove beyond doubt.
She is required to back up her claims.
Sure, so how about what the man is accustomed to? A woman can make a claim, what can a man claim? Women => alimony, men => fend for yourself. Is this being the norm right?Virtue ? If both party got virtue.. they wouldn't be in such a bind :P
Lets just say.. try to stay married.. as long as you can. A divorce only means everyone gets to lose.
And in such cases women should be given preference?So you think by throwing money at the problem it should just go away ? Wow. Such non-chalant attitude.. tsk tsk. And who do you think would be paying for it ? Not likely the young man.. it's probably his parents who has to pay the fine.
I am saying a jail term is too much, not that the guy should get away with it. Look at the whole thread, I am actually trying to think logically how these situations should be handled. Thus i am not non-chalent.It doesn;t take a medical worker to see the heartaches playing out in family planning clinics across the nations. Lets say I do have personal friends whom are involved in such organizations.
This indeed is a problem.
While I agree.. that women who puts themselves in such situations are partly to be blamed.. and so they pay the price with the shame, emotional and physical pain to kill an innocent life. Yet, the male party.. goes around like nothing has happened. While it is an easy option for a male to say " I don;t want this baby.. just abort it".. is that fair ?
A person is a person, no matter how small- Dr Suess.
Actually a fetus is not considered a person yet. This is a very tricky issue, because while contribution to a family can and should be mutual, only a woman can get pregnant.Well.. I disagree...
Bad guys are for fun.. but good guys we bring home to see our parents.
I faint. If this in true, which i suppose is, girls can be as bad as guys too.
Women's charter are for stupid women who marries bad guys lor.
Not every woman needs to rely on the charter to protect herself and her children.
But it is a shield for all women while neglecting the men.
Originally posted by angel7030:
Mum is doing it because Dad is busy with another mum.So is the dad's fault or the other mum's fault? The chicken and egg argument is silly. Both can be just as bad.
Originally posted by angel7030:
The theory should be if all guys are good, there hardly can be any bad gals, guys got an important roles to play both as bf or husband and as a father, me Daddy's gal sure look up to him for example, if he teaches bad, I will be bad.Well, i met a lot of bad guys too, one thing i learn from them is that they lack of self confidence and like to cheat others including their parents, but they are weak EQ, so i chopped them hard hard. I can be more bad when you are bad.
Similarly girls can be bad as well. I have a friend who had a gf for many years. He is already planning to marrying her. Then she left him for some rich guy, giving the reason that she likes that lifestyle. And now that guy does not take r/s seriously anymore. His attitude is "da jia kai xin jiu hao". Both can be evil.
Originally posted by angel7030:
If yr Dad in oversea decided to marry her, sex her and borne a few childrens and later decided to dump her??? how, you take over is it?? Like father, Like son.At least the women charter recognised what is Bigamy and yr poor oversea mum by law get some compensation.
This i dunno but in singapore it is a one-spouse system. Whether the overseas marriage is recognised or not, i have no idea.
*edit*
as in recognised and protected under the law
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Originally posted by ahbeo:
Similarly girls can be bad as well. I have a friend who had a gf for many years. He is already planning to marrying her. Then she left him for some rich guy, giving the reason that she likes that lifestyle. And now that guy does not take r/s seriously anymore. His attitude is "da jia kai xin jiu hao". Both can be evil.
That is clever, not bad, at least she is frank to tell you that you are not rich enough and it better to break it off than making you regret later, but unlike most men, doing it behind the gf or wife and still dun want to admit. Bravo to your fren Gf.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So is the dad's fault or the other mum's fault? The chicken and egg argument is silly. Both can be just as bad.
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That of Dad fault, if he dun moves, nothing move. But the wolf cannot stay still in one foxhole, they need many holes to survive. So?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
That is clever, not bad, at least she is frank to tell you that you are not rich enough and it better to break it off than making you regret later, but unlike most men, doing it behind the gf or wife and still dun want to admit. Bravo to your fren Gf.This basically tells you that despite all the ideas and dreams of "true love", it all boils down to self interest. So this tells the guys that as long as you tell the girl, all is cool. They cant say u "fu xin han", "mei liang xin" etc.
*edit*add in etc.
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So is the dad's fault or the other mum's fault? The chicken and egg argument is silly. Both can be just as bad.
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That of Dad fault, if he dun moves, nothing move. But the wolf cannot stay still in one foxhole, they need many holes to survive. So?
The other woman dun move, nothing can move too. Your answer is assuming that the man is at fault. The women are the victims. Not a very fair assumption. The man can hook up the woman, the woman can seduce the man. Why should we assume the man to be the villian with such lax prejudice?
*edit*
Assuming all things else constant, both are at fault, no?
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Here are the main points where the Family courts discriminate against the div men:
a. You fail to pay maintenance, it takes 2 weeks + $1 to get you into the courts to answer for this;
b. You hit your ex-wife after she hits you - you get penalized (do not react spontaneously, it only provides a source to get further bashed);
c. If she fails to pass over the child(ren) on the dates specified by the Court Order - it will take you MONTHS to get it back AND ... she will give all sorts of reasons WHY you should not.
The rest of the items are fair - splitting of assets are contestible and usually fair - unless you are too psychologically drained to put up a fair fight.
Talk to any lawyer - he/she will tell you that you are at the butt-end in the Family courts.
The wisest decision a normal-earning guy can ever make .... is NOT to marry a sg gal, especially if she is Cantonese. They CAN be very vindictive.
Further suggestions?
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Originally posted by ahbeo:
It is a demand and supply chain here, if the men dun demand for it, there will be no supply, peoples are cursing that Geyland or joo chiat should be hv so much pro gals, but then you should ask the question back and said, "if u guys dun come, these gals will automatically go back or vanish to some other places".Men courting women is the law of nature, if a women go and court men, i dun think you can call her a women, most of you call it slut or bitches. A women is like a flower, without the bees around, nothing moves.
I bet you that every married man who are courting another woman would that they are not marry or simply that they are divorce or wife passed away. And when the woman fell in love with him, the true story will be poured out, cos married man are experienced man, they knows that women are emotional creature, once in love, he had them in his clutches. Damn men.
Amen
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Originally posted by BikerDog:
Here are the main points where the Family courts discriminate against the div men:
a. You fail to pay maintenance, it takes 2 weeks + $1 to get you into the courts to answer for this;
b. You hit your ex-wife after she hits you - you get penalized (do not react spontaneously, it only provides a source to get further bashed);
c. If she fails to pass over the child(ren) on the dates specified by the Court Order - it will take you MONTHS to get it back AND ... she will give all sorts of reasons WHY you should not.
The rest of the items are fair - splitting of assets are contestible and usually fair - unless you are too psychologically drained to put up a fair fight.
Talk to any lawyer - he/she will tell you that you are at the butt-end in the Family courts.
The wisest decision a normal-earning guy can ever make .... is NOT to marry a sg gal, especially if she is Cantonese. They CAN be very vindictive.
Further suggestions?
yes, i hv one,
The reverse is true, not to marry a sg man who said he will not marry a sg cantonese gal in particular. This kind of man are mostly wife beater -
Well, I have PROOF of all I write - that's why I do not generalize (eg : MAY is used). Do post if you have proof too.
Basically : if you wanna play around, do NOT get married
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Note that I have proof of all typed here, it's not just to bitch abt things, rather as a warning to guys here. Yes, I was stupid to get married at all, but heck - without this, the joy of a child cannot be discovered.
So if you wish to reply constructively, be prepared to show evidence.
It's better to remain silent, than to type nonsense and remove all doubts.
At the end of the day, it's not WHAT you achieve or obtain, it's HOW you did it. The fight each has is only between himself/herself - it was never the question of the other party. Do not worry about the lies built up against you - lies tend to build upon one another, and finally you will be able to show clearly the original root lie (doesn't matter from which party).
Always remember : If there are children, they are the most affected. You *adults* never seem to understand this. THINK of the children. You had your fun, now live with the joys of the child(ren). The females had their fun (and almost doing nothing - the guys works mostly) - so do not even try to say giving birth is SUCH a noble thing.
The family courts do not value the child as much as they value the maintenance and other matters. Live with it
cheers
do let me know if you need advice of an old ancient man
incl good lawyers
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Originally posted by BikerDog:
Well, I have PROOF of all I write - that's why I do not generalize (eg : MAY is used). Do post if you have proof too.
Basically : if you wanna play around, do NOT get married
Ha Ha!
Talking about proof. You are the proof. For the Women's Charter.
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And it all boils down to money. At the end of the day.. money is all that matters to a SG man. For money is the only thing they're left to fight for.. when everything else falls apart.
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Originally posted by BikerDog:
Note that I have proof of all typed here, it's not just to bitch abt things, rather as a warning to guys here. Yes, I was stupid to get married at all, but heck - without this, the joy of a child cannot be discovered.
So if you wish to reply constructively, be prepared to show evidence.
It's better to remain silent, than to type nonsense and remove all doubts.
At the end of the day, it's not WHAT you achieve or obtain, it's HOW you did it. The fight each has is only between himself/herself - it was never the question of the other party. Do not worry about the lies built up against you - lies tend to build upon one another, and finally you will be able to show clearly the original root lie (doesn't matter from which party).
Always remember : If there are children, they are the most affected. You *adults* never seem to understand this. THINK of the children. You had your fun, now live with the joys of the child(ren). The females had their fun (and almost doing nothing - the guys works mostly) - so do not even try to say giving birth is SUCH a noble thing.
The family courts do not value the child as much as they value the maintenance and other matters. Live with it
cheers
do let me know if you need advice of an old ancient man
incl good lawyers
Don't know about you man, but passing something the size of a small ball through an opening about the size of a small ping pong ball sounds positively horrifying to me.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
And it all boils down to money. At the end of the day.. money is all that matters to a SG man. For money is the only thing they're left to fight for.. when everything else falls apart.
And you based this conclusion off what? Your interaction with the men who tries to make passes at you ? The exact sort of alpha males whose behavior you despise so much ? -
Why so many feminists in here bashing sinkaporean man?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
And it all boils down to money. At the end of the day.. money is all that matters to a SG man. For money is the only thing they're left to fight for.. when everything else falls apart.
Yes, I agree. When the dream of romantic love is broken, only reality is left. And it can be downright heart breaking. After all the lies, betrayals, frustrations, anger and eventual disappointment, a divorcing couple still have to go thru the agony of taking opposing sides in a legal battle ground to protect their own interests. -
Originally posted by Stevenson101:
Don't know about you man, but passing something the size of a small ball through an opening about the size of a small ping pong ball sounds positively horrifying to me.
Yes, I agree. Gays are great.. They defy nature to pursue love!
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Originally posted by Stevenson101:
And you based this conclusion off what? Your interaction with the men who tries to make passes at you ? The exact sort of alpha males whose behavior you despise so much ?
Pardon me for playing a fool earlier.I appreciate that you are trying to be fair to both sides of the gender, but I do think that jojobeach has a point.
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Originally posted by HyugaClan:
Why so many feminists in here bashing sinkaporean man?
lol..
=D~~
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hei..hei U're wasting time arguing with this jojobitch...a fanatic ,champion of woman's rights or just argue for the sake of the female gender..boh liao..she is only bent on winning views offered not objective nor constructive..As for her co-partner,Vicious Kitty who try to win symapthy in this forum by feigning cervical cancer and posted a topic on her dying days....better dig the earth or prepare for her only demise..need any eulogies?
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Why.. so .. serious ?
u guys can always join the NO' MA'AM club ler
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I'll venture a guess.. the war between man and woman is due to unfulfilled desires/expectations.
Just give them the yandao/chiobu of their dreams, and I'm sure they'll be singing praises instead. Lolx.
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Originally posted by kilfer:
Pardon me for playing a fool earlier.I appreciate that you are trying to be fair to both sides of the gender, but I do think that jojobeach has a point.
Not denying there isn't a point. But she is saying it in a fashion that leaves no room for interpretation.I would bet if she had a choice she wouldn't pick a poorer man as a boyfriend/husband. It's hypocritical to complain about the trait that would have been one of the top criterias for alot of women.