Xiao Long Nu
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Tycoon's ex-China bride pens her tale
Giving former husband a pseudonym, she writes about marriage, divorce and legal battles, but book may not be sold here
By Neo Hui Min
THE Beijing woman who started talk of the 'China bride syndrome' here after an acrimonious divorce case with her wealthy Singaporean husband, has written a book on her experiences in Singapore.
Entitled Wo He Hao Men Da Guan Si, or Taking On A Tycoon In Court, the book is not yet in book shops, but a weekly Shanghai newspaper, Shanghai Yizhou, has printed extracts.
'I would say that almost 100 per cent of the story is true. I have been bursting to tell my side of the story and now I've done so.' - Madam Shi Fang, in her book Wo He Hao Men Da Guan Si (Taking On A Tycoon In Court)
It is the tale of how she met her former husband, her relationship with his family, how her marriage fell apart and her three-year legal battle.
Now 37, Madam Shi Fang gives her husband the pseudonym Mr Ye Shun'an in the book, and does not name his family. But she claims that most of the account is based on her life here.
She told The Straits Times in Mandarin by phone: 'I would say that almost 100 per cent of the story is true.
'I have been bursting to tell my side of the story and now I've done so in this book.'
A former tour guide, Madam Shi wed Mr Koh Pee Huat, son of shipping tycoon Koh Nai Tor, in 1990 in Beijing.
After 1 1/2 years, she filed for divorce, claiming a share of their home, shares in the Kohs' company, and maintenance of $4,133 a month.
COURT BATTLES
MR KOH Pee Huat married Madam Shi Fang in 1990. About three years later, she obtained a divorce from him on the grounds of desertion.
The High Court ordered Mr Koh to pay her a monthly maintenance of $2,300 and a lump sum of $46,700.
But she asked the court to increase her maintenance to more than $4,000 and order that she receive a half-share of their Jalan Pelepah home in Pasir Panjang and a share in the family business.
She lost the appeal.
In 1995, she took Mr Koh to court for fabricating false evidence in his affidavits, in their disputes over maintenance. He was convicted and sentenced to six months in jail for falsifying evidence. This was reduced to one month after he appealed.
But she did not get more maintenance from him. Instead, she was granted a settlement of $250,000 once she vacated the Jalan Pelepah house and withdrew all claims to it. She appealed for more but lost the case in 1996.
In 1998, she was back in court. This time, she was tried for allegedly making a false declaration in her divorce affidavit against Mr Koh. She was acquitted.
The court awarded her much less. She lost her appeal.
The case led to the Chinese-speaking community here labelling her a Xiaolongnu, or 'little dragon girl', a derogatory term used in recent times to describe women from China who compete with Singaporean women for their husbands and boyfriends - and their wallets.
In the published extracts, Madam Shi writes of Singaporeans' prejudice against Chinese nationals.
There is a scene of her overhearing Singaporeans saying: 'Chinamen are so scary. When they have rice, they take not one but two portions.'
Her retort is that 'Singaporeans think that eating little is high-class behaviour'.
And in a description of a fight with 'Mr Ye', which arose because he had accused her of keeping a necklace they had bought for a friend, she says that he retorted: 'Have you had enough? Who asked you to be a PRC?'
PRC refers to People's Republic of China, the official name of mainland China.
Up till today, Madam Shi feels she has been wronged.
'I feel that media reports were very biased against me. I was portrayed as an airhead and nobody asked me for my opinion,' she said.
Friends and journalists egged her on to tell her side of the story in a book.
Since returning to Beijing in 1998, she has been busy writing, and completed the book only last year.
The articulate woman now lives in Shanghai and has spent the past two months at her publisher's office editing bits that could land her in legal trouble.
Does she fear a lawsuit?
'Absolutely not, because everything is factual. I can prove it,' she said.
As she is reluctant to edit out her take on Singapore's judicial system, the book may not be distributed here.
Mrs Anamah Tan, the lawyer who represented Mr Koh in the divorce case, said that if defamatory, the family could sue her even though the book was not distributed here.
Mr Koh Pee Huat could not be contacted for comment.
Meanwhile, Madam Shi is looking forward to publishing an English version.
After that?
'I really don't know yet. I've been so busy lately, I'm just hoping to have enough time to get a haircut,' she chuckled. -
She said: 'Maybe it's because I'm a mainland Chinese.
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'They all seem to think that all mainland Chinese women who marry Singaporeans do it for the sake of getting out of China.'
When she divorced Mr Koh in 1993, the High Court ordered him to pay her a monthly maintenance of $2,300 and a lump sum of $46,700.
Unhappy with the ruling, she appealed to the court to increase her maintenance to more than $4,000 and asked for a half-share of her matrimonial home at Pasir Panjang and a share in the family business. But the court threw out all her appeals.
In 1995, the court eventually granted her a settlement of $250,000 on the condition that she vacate the Pasir Panjang home and renounce all claims to it.
After the divorce, Madam Shi flew to Hong Kong where she said that she 'dabbled in shares and even made some money before the Asian financial crisis struck'.
She also went on a world tour, to countries such as Nepal and Turkey. -
To make my opinion i would make these few quotes
First she said this:
Then she did this:
She said: 'Maybe it's because I'm a mainland Chinese.
They all seem to think that all mainland Chinese women who marry Singaporeans do it for the sake of getting out of China.'
Anyone find irony in this?
she appealed to the court to increase her maintenance to more than $4,000 and asked for a half-share of her matrimonial home at Pasir Panjang and a share in the family business. But the court threw out all her appeals.
After this:
She went and did these:
In 1995, the court eventually granted her a settlement of $250,000 on the condition that she vacate the Pasir Panjang home and renounce all claims to it.
And the woman claim she has been wronged and she wants to talk about us being prejudiced.
After the divorce, Madam Shi flew to Hong Kong where she said that she 'dabbled in shares and even made some money before the Asian financial crisis struck'.
She also went on a world tour, to countries such as Nepal and Turkey
To sum this up?
Bullshit.
Give comments ~ -
Is there some bias in the Court Ruling in the first proceedings by awarding such a paltry sum - of $2,300 monthly and a lump sum of $46,700 - to a legally married spouse of a Singaporean Citizen, simply because she is a foreigner; and especially one originating from Mainland China ?
Under any circumstances, a Singaporean Wife of a scion from a rich family would have been entitled to more when there are parallel court rulings under similar circumstances; as in the ruling of an English woman claiming similar rights to the properties and wealth of her Indonesian husband residing in Singapore. There was also the divorce case of a Singaporean Stockbroker who had to split half of his belongings with his Singapore born wife; as well as in another divorce case, where a Singapore born wife was entitled to her share of her Caucasian husbandÂ’s artifacts and collections on top of the share of the home and monthly maintenance.
Such prejudicial rulings by the Singapore Courts against a foreign born spouse who seek justice from the Singapore Judicial System can have repercussions when similar actions are taken by Singapore born spouse seeking redress from the Judicial System of another country.
With regards to the manner that she prefer to dispose of her court ruled compensations, one should not be too harsh in judging her character. It is simply an issue of individual life style and priorities.
After going through the stress of such bitter divorce proceedings that would have cost her quite a fair sum, I wonder how much of the compensation would have remained after paying for all the legal costs. -
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good morning!Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:
when i c the subject title, i thot it was love letter to you -
bah... i make no apologies to the fact that i detest and despise that bunch of pple... call them what u like, "wu ya", "xiao long nu", "da lu mei", whatever...
while i agree that the current negative stereotype is unfair to those who are "not like that", i think stereotypes don't arise from nowhere... there must be a reason for them and the fact that "not all are like that" does not change the fact that enough of them are!
frankly, they disgust me... loud, barbaric, dunno how to behave properly... not to mention that their personal hygiene in particular leaves much to be desired...
i don't care if china's the next big thing... i don't care if they're the same colour as me... in fact, i think there's a VERY good reason why my ancestors decided to LEAVE that god forsaken place...
so there... may they all burn in hell.
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oso tot tis was a XLN thread... -
ah ma cheat how many rich old man's money liao?
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Not to mention they are taking away our places in the university and workplace...darn....Originally posted by CX:bah... i make no apologies to the fact that i detest and despise that bunch of pple... call them what u like, "wu ya", "xiao long nu", "da lu mei", whatever...
while i agree that the current negative stereotype is unfair to those who are "not like that", i think stereotypes don't arise from nowhere... there must be a reason for them and the fact that "not all are like that" does not change the fact that enough of them are!
frankly, they disgust me... loud, barbaric, dunno how to behave properly... not to mention that their personal hygiene in particular leaves much to be desired...
i don't care if china's the next big thing... i don't care if they're the same colour as me... in fact, i think there's a VERY good reason why my ancestors decided to LEAVE that god forsaken place...
so there... may they all burn in hell. 
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China is no longer the China 10 years' ago. PRC is no longer the PRC ten years ago.
Even PRC scholars did not come to Singapore, do you think singaporean can do better in the school?
See see the university bah, how many percent of the top students, TA, RA are PRCs. See see who won the Math, physical Olympic medal for singapore.They are helping to build the next generation's singapore. Even they r not there, singaporean still can not won the medals.
Most of the PRC scholars are staying in Singapore becomes of the 6 year bonds. Do not think every PRC love to stay here. They can get much more chances in other countries too.
Open ur mind bah, it is a win-win solution to work together. -
Originally posted by fengczmin:
thats not the point... education should cater to domestic demand and requirements first and foremost... if u cannot cater to the domestic requirement, i question the wisdom of opening up so many places for such "foreign talents"...
China is no longer the China 10 years' ago. PRC is no longer the PRC ten years ago.
Even PRC scholars did not come to Singapore, do you think singaporean can do better in the school?See see the university bah, how many percent of the top students, TA, RA are PRCs. See see who won the Math, physical Olympic medal for singapore.They are helping to build the next generation's singapore. Even they r not there, singaporean still can not won the medals.
thats the problem... what are they here for? maths olympics and ping pong... just shows u how shallow the emigration policy has become...
these people have the brains, but they don't have the heart... are u sure u want these creeps to train the future of singapore?Most of the PRC scholars are staying in Singapore becomes of the 6 year bonds. Do not think every PRC love to stay here. They can get much more chances in other countries too.
balls to u... if there was no bond, they'll just come, leech, wipe their backside clean and LEAVE! as if they so good guai guai stay for 6 years... lan sai...
give them 1/2 a chance... once they find a strong backer willing to buy him out, he'll break it and leave. Sg is only a stepping stone to them. only PAP gov't is so kam lan... take in foreigners at the expense of your own citizens, educate them at great cost only to let them leave cos they have no intention of staying to contribute to our economy anyway...Open ur mind bah, it is a win-win solution to work together.
don't be too open... all kinds of nonsense flies in if u're not careful... you're not being open... u're just being naive. -
I agree wholeheartedly with you CX. In fact, fengczmin sounds like a typical PRC in S'pore.
Do you think S'pore is their first choice ??? Nah...it is because they can't get any places in countries like the US that they have to come here.
About them raising our standards...blah....those that come here {espcially in NUS} are second rated ones....and THEY ARE NOT the top students here...I have seen classes where PRC flunk like crazy {don't give me the crap that they are hard working or whatsoever...hardworking in cheating maybe...}
Of couse, there are some good honest ones...but they are by far few ... it is easier to comb a hay stack to search for needles than to find such PRC among the population here....
Let's face it...the govt is damn stup importing some of these people here...esp those who don't bring results...and bleed our people dry and then move off the greener pastures abroad when they are done...so who are the quitters here...and the parasites ? -
hey man, I came to HwaChong 5 years ago and I am in US now. Of couse, i will back to singapore and stay there for do not know how long times.
I am sure about all of my batch's scholars are top students in our school and we r still top students in NUS not only in sense of study/reasearch but also in ECAs.
There r some PRCs are not good also but the average level is pretty good already.
Cheating??? u know what, I do not know why we need to cheat to win those stupid guys in my class..
Do not think boz of ur English education make u more honest.
We r good boz every one of us here r the tops among 1 million populations in China but how many millions do u have in Singapore.
Peasonally, I stay in singapore not boz of the bond in the first place. I have spent half of teenages in Singapore. Most of my friends are here and my network is here. It is good for my career developement.
Singapore is small. There r not that much talent is not boz of Singaporean is not good but boz of the population pool. If u really want to have a good future, Singapore need to get talents.
Singapore goverment is really smart. It is really a good deal to take lots of PRCs here. By statistic, 2/3 of them have stayed here and are working here. I do not think we just treat Singapore as a step.
Do not think we take of ur working place. We r creating more job optunities for u. Man, u should trust ur goverment, they r all wisdoms.Originally posted by greengoblin:I agree wholeheartedly with you CX. In fact, fengczmin sounds like a typical PRC in S'pore.
Do you think S'pore is their first choice ??? Nah...it is because they can't get any places in countries like the US that they have to come here.
About them raising our standards...blah....those that come here {espcially in NUS} are second rated ones....and THEY ARE NOT the top students here...I have seen classes where PRC flunk like crazy {don't give me the crap that they are hard working or whatsoever...hardworking in cheating maybe...}
Of couse, there are some good honest ones...but they are by far few ... it is easier to comb a hay stack to search for needles than to find such PRC among the population here....
Let's face it...the govt is damn stup importing some of these people here...esp those who don't bring results...and bleed our people dry and then move off the greener pastures abroad when they are done...so who are the quitters here...and the parasites ? -
how come Ah Ma's being a topic here? hehehe..........
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Do u think singapore's education can not cater to the domestic reqirement??? NUS's student number keeps increasing every year. I did not see any students lost education oppotunite boz of the scholars.
quote:
thats not the point... education should cater to domestic demand and requirements first and foremost... if u cannot cater to the domestic requirement, i question the wisdom of opening up so many places for such "foreign talents"...
I am just saying that they r good and they can help singapore. If they r not here. Singaporean can not win. U would say even they r here, Singaporean still can not win. But at least high class player can influence those people around and help the groups to grow up.
Heart? do not know what u r talking about. Can refer to my previous post
quote:
thats the problem... what are they here for? maths olympics and ping pong... just shows u how shallow the emigration policy has become...
these people have the brains, but they don't have the heart... are u sure u want these creeps to train the future of singapore?
By our statistic(ZaoBao&huasing), 2/3 of the scholars in the last 10 years are staying in singapore and most of the others are still working for singapore company around the wold. We have spent ten years in Singapore. It is our second home already. Think about ur father, gra-father, they r also from China and staying here.
Let's take a look of ur singaporean bah.. How many percent of those goverment scholars will be back. Base on my personal conversation with goverment scholars in Stanford, most of them will go back to singapore just boz of the bond. This kind of behavior is not only for PRCs. OK?
quote:
balls to u... if there was no bond, they'll just come, leech, wipe their backside clean and LEAVE! as if they so good guai guai stay for 6 years... lan sai...
give them 1/2 a chance... once they find a strong backer willing to buy him out, he'll break it and leave. Sg is only a stepping stone to them. only PAP gov't is so kam lan... take in foreigners at the expense of your own citizens, educate them at great cost only to let them leave cos they have no intention of staying to contribute to our economy anyway...
That is so call "Xiao Guo Gua Min".
Ur goverement is much smart than you.
quote:
don't be too open... all kinds of nonsense flies in if u're not careful... you're not being open... u're just being naive. -
this book might be banned in singapore
but i will find ways to get hold of it
this is MY TYPE of literature..........
if i can find an e-book version lagi better! -
post it on ur webbyOriginally posted by FireIce:this book might be banned in singapore
but i will find ways to get hold of it
this is MY TYPE of literature..........
if i can find an e-book version lagi better!
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Let us talk about research then...
many China appliciants for graduate programs claim to have attended many conferences and have recommandation letters to back them up. The truth is that...many of them just registered for the conference and pulled out at the last minute...leaving no time for the organiser to change the details in the conference schedule...hence giving people the wrong impression that these so called China graduate applicants have gone to speak at the conference itself.
Moreover, a close scrutiny of the so called recommandation letters reveal close grammtical and sentense structure of the applicant and the person writing the recommandation letter of the letter....it really brings to mind about the honesty of the appliciant and their research capabilities.
To my knowledge, the China appliciant now is not as good as their predecessors say 10 years ago. The Indian scholars show a greater tendancy to work harder than them.
While there are still some good PRC scholars, the true fact is that they are diminishing in numbers. The universities here should take a close look before hiring them.
{FYI, I have taken a class of which half are PRC students...and none made it near the top ten...those who scored are the local students and malaysians...and that subject was supposed to be their forte...mathematics} -
Originally posted by fengczmin:
show me the stats. no stats, no credibility. u think u have all-seeing-eye? you don't see don't mean it doesn't exist. i'm looking for them myself. will post them when i find them.
Do u think singapore's education can not cater to the domestic reqirement??? NUS's student number keeps increasing every year. I did not see any students lost education oppotunite boz of the scholars.I am just saying that they r good and they can help singapore. If they r not here. Singaporean can not win. U would say even they r here, Singaporean still can not win. But at least high class player can influence those people around and help the groups to grow up.
propaganda nonsense...
Heart? do not know what u r talking about. Can refer to my previous post
first and foremost: do i care to win? is my identity forged on winning alone?
NO!!!
i am singaporean by birth, by right and by privilege.
i am born here of Parents who are citizens and i have earned the right to my citizenship through National Service. if u have served, i might consider u more worthy of citizenship. otherwise, u'll always be considered in my eyes, and in the eyes of thousands of others, an outsider.
What are u? what gives u the right to PR other than the goodwill of a foolish government and the loop-hole of an ill-conceived policy?By our statistic(ZaoBao&huasing), 2/3 of the scholars in the last 10 years are staying in singapore and most of the others are still working for singapore company around the wold. We have spent ten years in Singapore. It is our second home already. Think about ur father, gra-father, they r also from China and staying here.
my grandparents left for very good reasons... Starvation being the main one. in the post war years (1945 - ~), staying here meant ONE thing: RENOUNCING CHINESE CITIZENSHIP!
do the same and i might welcome u into our national fraternity...
get this straight. i am no longer a China Chinese. I am an Overseas Chinese. your loyalties are still questionable. why should i, or anyone Singaporean citizen, trust u?
think about it. nobody said anything when Hong Kongers were landing here by the hundreds in the years before 1997. because they were more than willing to leave everything behind and start fresh here.
we don't see the same willingness from the procs...Let's take a look of ur singaporean bah.. How many percent of those goverment scholars will be back. Base on my personal conversation with goverment scholars in Stanford, most of them will go back to singapore just boz of the bond. This kind of behavior is not only for PRCs. OK?
u know, when we give taxpayers money to a singaporean to study and he decides to break his bond, pay a big compensation and move on, we think its bad, but tolerable...
when a proc breaks a bond, it just stinks because we don't like the idea of using taxpayers money to give them scholarships and sponsorships in the first place!That is so call "Xiao Guo Gua Min".
so typically spineless... give them some freebies and they'll say Qin Shi Huang is very good... bumpkin.
Ur goverement is much smart than you.