Our favourite dirty old man speaks about our nation's birthday.
Lim Peh ka li kong, hor, National Day is not what it used to be.
Nowsaday, got big-big show, got fireworks. All for free!
You chewrens, hor, nowsaday all very spoilt. Gahmen give you so much. You just sit back and watch only.
In my day, hor, we had to make our own fireworks. It was very exciting and really brought the community together.
Especially if someone died in a fireworks explosion, because the whole community would then come to the funeral. Very fun.
But things got more difficult once the Gahmen banned firecrackers. Damn no consideration one, the chao Gahmen! Always spoil our enjoyment.
So to see fireworks, we would have to go to Desker Road and find a kway.
My favourite used to be Madam Supapoosi from Thailand in No. 14B. Go to her, I always esplode and see stars.
Back then, fireworks was a personal experience, not some spectator event.
But nowsaday, we all forget these important early National Day pioneers. Our parade got soldier, got dancer, got singer.
But got no prostitute! How can lai dat? No respect for our heritage, one!
I go and tell my MP during his Meet the People session: why not our parade have one contingent of kways? They're already very colourfully dressed, no need to go and find them costume!
Some more, they provide very valuable social and medical service, especially to senior citizens like me! You think they give us sexual relief at the polyclinic? Kum pooi, ah!
But my chao MP said, "I'm sorry, Mr Lim, we cannot do that. It will promote promiscuity."
Na beh! Si noong kia! How come cannot promote promiscuity? They're all just prejudiced! I bet you they all never try promiscuity and yet they want to ban it! Must try first, mah! Only fair, what!
Neh'mine. Next week, I will bring Mdm Supapoosi and her girls to the Meet the People Session.
Lim Peh ka li kong, hor, I'm sure she can show my MP that her girls can make the NDP audience 'Stand Up for Singapore' more than any spastic community song can!