Lim Peh ka li kong, hor, nowsaday, chewrens should treat old people like shit.
In other words, must wipe them, lah.
Young people should be honoured to clean us up!
Not like my bloody son, who dared to kao peh when I vomited all over myself and his lap top. I only wanted to share with him what I had for lunch, what!
It's a sad day for society when young people can't appreciate a senior citizen vomiting on their electrical equipment.
Si noong kia! Now he wants to send me to an old folks home.
I was tempted to call him a son of a bitch, but then my wife began to scold me, asking me why I insult her when I was angry with him.
I tell you, ah, women also nowsaday don'ch respect men anymore! Bleddy ungrateful! After all the things we do for them.
Like allow them to have sex with us, carry our chewrens and cook and clean for us.
You would think they would appreciate us, but no, they demand all sorts of unreasonable things.
Like unbinding their feet. Or voting. Or monogamy.
Anyway, my bleddy son put me in an old folks home - the Little Sisters of the Senile Home for the Aged.
All the way there, I curse and curse my son, say he treat his father like that, later sure suay one.
Sure kena extend his reservist, bao his chewrens cannot get into G.E.P. and all sorts of hojjiber things.
But was he contrite when I confronted him with his unfilial behaviour?
No, the si gin nah said, "I should show you the same filial behaviour you showed when you decided to chain Grandma in a cage and hose her down."
Then he added, "Besides, it's Ah Ma's idea."
Bleddy people nowsaday don'ch understand the fundamental concept underlying Asian values.
Which is "do as I say, don't do as I do".
Anyway, when I reach the Little Sisters of the Senile, I began to have a change of heart.
I thought, maybe there is a very, very small possibility that I am a burden to my chewrens.
Like when I use their credit card to pay for my monthly pilgrimage and donations to the temple in Patpong.
Or when I massage my prostate while watching adult VCDs in the living room.
Or when I blow my nose on their laundry.
Of course it is very unreasonable of my chewrens to see this as burdensome behaviour. But then, chewrens nowsaday are less understanding.
So, I thought, maybe it's better that I stay in an old folks home.
So my son won't have to wipe me up when I lao jio in my pants.
Instead, maybe it's better that the Little Sisters (some of whom are not so little) wipe me up instead.
After all they are trained professionals. They certainly look very professional in their tight, tight costumes.
Especially when they bend over to pick things up.
Yes, maybe it's for the best that these young nuns are the ones who have to wipe my kukucheow in warm, soapy water whenever I soil myself .
Lim Peh ka li kong, the suffering I have to endure because of my chewrens' unfilial behaviour.
-LIM PEH