Are parents overprotecting children?
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What do you guys think of the recent Nan Chiau incident? In my personal opinion, i believe a small but growing minority of parents are overprotecting children. I used to remember the times when i got punished in school, we were hit many more times with a ruler, or even slapped. After school, i would keep it a secret from my parents for fear of facing double punishment at home. Now, when some children tell their parents, parents call police or write to MOE. In another case, i was shocked to find out that my cousin, who is currently in Sec 1, wiped his own ass for the first time one month ago. His maid had been doing it for him all along and since he did not know how to, he threw the used toilet paper into the open bin.
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1. yes many parents are over protecting their kids, since nowadaes parents haf fewer kids. and they wan the best for them. and they are more vocal and some parents themselves no longer haf the kind of respect for educators tt was present in the past due to the difference in education level.
2. teachers and principals should be allowed a certain amount of discretion to act. the system should respect their judgement, rather than try to list out the dos and donts comprehensively (wich is nex to impossible anyway). this discretion includes the freedom to mete out punishments.
3. punishments should be proportionate and effective and directed. use of cane should be continued but only as part of the system, to be carried out according to regulations.
4. teachers should be encouraged to refrain from physical punishments and use only as a last resort. difficult as it is, teachers should try to make it clear to the students when punishments are given why he / she is punished and why the form of punishment is chosen. again, their judgement should be respected.
5. the students' behaviour in the past should not be used to influence the decision on the form of punishment for a certain errant behaviour now.
jus rattling off wat i think of on the spot... in the end my opinion is mainly tt teachers shouldnt fear repercussions for their actions which have been carried out in the best of the students' interest. and its necessary to assume tt most of their actions are based on tt. however if the teacher himself feels a rush of temper, he should know tt he needs to walk away from the situation. -
here's what I think:Originally posted by branzzz:What do you guys think of the recent Nan Chiau incident? In my personal opinion, i believe a small but growing minority of parents are overprotecting children. I used to remember the times when i got punished in school, we were hit many more times with a ruler, or even slapped. After school, i would keep it a secret from my parents for fear of facing double punishment at home. Now, when some children tell their parents, parents call police or write to MOE. In another case, i was shocked to find out that my cousin, who is currently in Sec 1, wiped his own ass for the first time one month ago. His maid had been doing it for him all along and since he did not know how to, he threw the used toilet paper into the open bin.
1) there is a possibility that the principal did not resign merely because of that one incident, but saw it as a quick way out of a stressful job. after all, teaching is very stressful nowadays.
2)as a teen myself, and looking at your experiences, I think that at least MOE has been right in the policy of stopping teachers from beating students too much, and that the social situation has changed too. I think having such fear in students/kids is nto healthy for the kid.
3) your cousin is quite an extreme example, i believe. the problem with our local press is that they take a few exceptional cases and portray them as social problems. but look on the bright side, at least your cousin learned to wipe his ass!
the pikamaster -
Gone are the older days when parents just earn $$$ to support the family...and the kids just roam the streets each day after school.
Now, most families only got 1 or 2 kids nia, so very precious mah... so a bit of things happen to them nia will make a big fuss one lor
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sgboy2004, the Good Boi
Croco Corner
Croco Movie -
personally, i think kids are overprotected.
and i wish to see punishments from the past to be brought back.
spare the rod, spoil the child.
i would not wait for extreme cases, i would prefer if the child was disciplined early in life and learn things the hard way.
and at the same time, i would also wish schools (and parents) would just let the kids enjoy their school holidays.
kids should go out and play, mingle with other kids, not sit around at home and play PS2 or Xbox, resulting in more bespectacled kids -
And hopefully parents won't teach them the wrong things like this......
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imagine 15 yrs later, these kids , the future of singapore??? *sign*
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wtf??? having a maid to help him in the toliet? wow your cousin's really an extreme case
i too feel that we need to bring back the old punishments but lets use these punishments on the parents first, they're the ones who went wrong in the first place
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All these children r now the little emperor and empress in the eyes of the parent. 'My Precious'
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You sound stereotyping ALL parents. There are still parents who 'love' their kids by canning, so that the kids learn the lesson/logic.Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:i too feel that we need to bring back the old punishments but lets use these punishments on the parents first, they're the ones who went wrong in the first place -
for those of you guys who have yet to be parents, after going through your own childhood, how would you bring up your own children?
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really ..parenting is not easy... i have realised how difficult it is to reconcile conflicting thoughts and intentions and actions, after reflections of my experiences with youngsters...
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I think that you should discipline children at a young age.I'd bring up my children the way my parents raised me.Its the way I'm most familiar with.
Discipline with love.of course,discipline with moderation,and make sure that the child understands what exactly he did wrong and why he is getting the punishment.Make it clear to children the consequences for misbehaviour.
You cannot afford to shelter your children,but you can guide them along and inculcate values in them.children must learn to face reality as they mature into teenagers.
if you discipline them young,they will learn responsibility.what the youth today lack is the sense of responsibility to deal with their freedom.you have responsibilities to their families,their society and themselves.that comes with the freedom you gain as you mature into an adult.freedom comes with responsibility. -
i m starting to get worried about the future of singaporeOriginally posted by branzzz:What do you guys think of the recent Nan Chiau incident? In my personal opinion, i believe a small but growing minority of parents are overprotecting children. I used to remember the times when i got punished in school, we were hit many more times with a ruler, or even slapped. After school, i would keep it a secret from my parents for fear of facing double punishment at home. Now, when some children tell their parents, parents call police or write to MOE. In another case, i was shocked to find out that my cousin, who is currently in Sec 1, wiped his own ass for the first time one month ago. His maid had been doing it for him all along and since he did not know how to, he threw the used toilet paper into the open bin. -
punish them when they r wrong. i dun believe in pampering them n giving them watever they want. tis will spoilt them n will b doing more harm den help for them in the future.Originally posted by branzzz:for those of you guys who have yet to be parents, after going through your own childhood, how would you bring up your own children? -
i'm going to tell my son\daughter that if he\she doesn't eat his\her vegetables, the policeman is going to catch him\herOriginally posted by branzzz:for those of you guys who have yet to be parents, after going through your own childhood, how would you bring up your own children? -
punish them when they are in the wrong..reward them when they got good grade..praise them when they done something good..Originally posted by branzzz:for those of you guys who have yet to be parents, after going through your own childhood, how would you bring up your own children?
tie your own shoe, pack your own bags, wash your own butts, clean your own room.. -
Wow wipe his own ass for the first time!! The first time i heard something so shocking... Anyway i totally agree with u. Now they r overprotected n spoilt to the core too esp those well to do family. I work in borneo motor recently n notice tat more n more teenagers r driving their own cars n their car r not purchase from their hard earn money. In stead its their parents whom willingly to buy for them... Those fella look ignorant to me sometimes.Originally posted by branzzz:What do you guys think of the recent Nan Chiau incident? In my personal opinion, i believe a small but growing minority of parents are overprotecting children. I used to remember the times when i got punished in school, we were hit many more times with a ruler, or even slapped. After school, i would keep it a secret from my parents for fear of facing double punishment at home. Now, when some children tell their parents, parents call police or write to MOE. In another case, i was shocked to find out that my cousin, who is currently in Sec 1, wiped his own ass for the first time one month ago. His maid had been doing it for him all along and since he did not know how to, he threw the used toilet paper into the open bin.
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When i was in pri sch, the teachers still hit students with a ruler for not doing homework, fail spelling and not writing name. Tio one time in pri three for not writing name, go back dare not tell my parents till now. But now a lot of old teachers retire liao, dun know still got like that a not.
your cousin super leh, sec 1 then know how to do this. I pri four force by my mother to learn ironing, sewing liao lor. although last time i don't like to do that, but now with these i can iron my clothes myself, button drop off can sew myself, no need wait for her to do like my brother. Force him to iron his clothes after pri six also don't do, sewing until my mother pek chek don't do for him then he learn. -
i m worried that if parents starts to worry about the son in NS what will the defernce of singapore will be?
how economic will be -
Agree. Parents overly protective. Last time my mum like to punish by hitting us with canes, kneeling for hrs. Now...sighhh...teachers cannot even hit kids with book....how to teach.
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i recently spoke to an old friend who has always wanted to become a teacher. she told me she will still become a teacher, but she has grown to become afraid of the school, parents and especially children. oh no...hopefully this isn't the mentality of most of the teacher-wannabes. MOE better have a better recruiting campaign. as for my cousin being an extreme case, maybe not. i'm sure there are many like him, just that we don't know of such private stuff.
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A little pain applied in the right context of punishment for a misdeed never damaged any child.
However the covering up and protection from the consquences of their wrongdoing has often been the bane of many a child who has grown up with a blurred line between the right and wrong.
There's no need to be a superstrict parent that lashes a child at every misdeed, and worse, be one who cannot control the child and is not more revelant to him or her then a vending machine or a shield to hide from the consquences of wrongdoing. One needs to find a balance. -
Just to share a few wacking incident in my chidhood
1) During primary 6 school days, my chinese spelling gone case 1, out of 10 times sure failed 7 to 8 times.Then 1 day teacher cannot tahan then ask the class for those yellow wooden rulers and started wacking. 1 mark 10 wacks, got 1 time she wacked too many times and the entire stack of rulers all break, then i started to study many days in advance and surprisily can pass. Then for that year PSLE entire class pass chinese and i got a B
When back a few years to visit her and she told me that now cannot wack students liao as the POLICIES of the school have change
2) Primary 3 mid year exam finish and last time can bring games to school one, i bring gameboy to school(last time very rare 1) and eventually some 1 stole it during recess time and go home kena wack by father using those red black wire, whole body like POW like that. few days don dare to go to school, but this has taught me to protect the things that have
3) Seconday 2 fail mid year exam as i spent too much time on those Magic cards. Forced to do stand up squant down close to 2000 times in 1 night. next day leg become jelly legs cannot walk for 1 week -
OooOooo.... tat sounds like a lot of pain...
I remember an incident where I get severly caned when I was young... I steal some money from... hehehe... my grandma
to buy some toys and my mum discover it. At night it was hell... the toy was thrown and I was caned for 2 hours straight. No amount of begging or crying can make her stop.
I think she did the right thing to me then as I deserve every single bit of it... I never think about stealing ever after tat incident...
For young children, how to talk sense into them when they don't even understand much about anything ? If my mum just talk "sense" into me then I will just probably just say "Orr.." or "Yes" and when I have a chance, I will steal again. I gain a toy and I have lost nothing u see. When one is young they r just not sensible. If a child really did something wrong, caning is really the best way to tell it to them.