If come together due to karmic debt, it is a burden.
Sometimes, in a past life, one may hurt (kill or seriously harm) someone... In another life, the one that harm and the one being hurt may come together in a close relationship to balance the debt. From the surface, there may be attraction that bring them together. But below the surface appearance, the cause of their union is an entirely different story.
It doesn't really matter whether you are in a group that cause harm such as an invading army. As long as the harm is caused, a karmic debt will be incurred... even when one is supposedly forced into joining the invading group. This is how i understand it.
The further one tranverse a realisation or discovery path, the less enchanted one will be with the things that attracts most other people such as romance, sexual desire, status etc. These attractions come with an effect later, either in this life or another.
When karmic effect come, no matter how one tries to 'siam' (avoid) also cannot escape. At that moment, can only 'bite the bullet'.