Share your most 'cock' up missions
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Employer visit is a BIG thing.
Employer visit with Tony Tan is a damn BIG BIG thing.
so we in Arty reserve trg centre had this employer visit with Tony Tan.
the visit was planned with a full field kitchen demo and all that. the employers were to bring their wives also. Damn big thing.
Anyway, the demo was 120mm mortar live firing. the targets were on this knoll in safti.
so all the people were in the tentage. Chief of Arty and CDF were also there. ok ... fire mission battery, rounds away.
pop, pop, pop ... boom boom boom ... it seems ok enough
then ... pop pop pop,,, boom boom ,,,,, boooom. the booom happened to come from another knoll.
pop pop pop,,, boom boom ,,,,, boooom. the booom happened to come from the other knoll AGAIN !!
then Tony Tan - da man ... asked ... "err ... why ah?"
wah ... chief of arty said its erratic round. it happens sometimes.
Then Tony Tan asked ... "You sure ? the chances of 2 erratic rounds consecutively ... you sure?"
CDF glared. COA got problem. the battery was ordered to stop and check. Yah lah ... one of the tubes were set with the wrong line and sight.
CDF then signalled the end of live firing and the feasting and partying started.
No good. All the way from COA to the det commander got back side buttered. the reservist CO got it big. They actually had 2 days of meeting in the conference room to wack it all out. And I was sure the minutes of meeting were filled with vulgarities had it not been censored out.
I was there... I was typing the minutes of meeting.
Cock lah .... -
i remember one of the main things the CO wanted the commanders to change in reservist training was their call signs.
Some of the call signs were:
field ration = rubbish dump / rubbish truck
water ration = pee pee detail
live firing = sexy time
.
.
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the list goes on ....Originally posted by SingaporeTyrannosaur:In another case, one of my friends in signals was out on a field exercise where they had to establish HQ comms by stringing out a $13,000 dollar 600 meter lan cable to establish command network.
In the meantime, one of the signals guys got hungry and he took out his mess cooker, set it on the ground, broke out a packet of maggie mee, started a fire, and started cooking. It didn't take long.
Comms down! Comms down!
It turned out he was making his fire on top of the lan cable. As those fiberoptic cables cannot be repaired like normal ones (as well as SAF too lazy to actually repair it), they had to sign the 1206 for the entire cable, cooking up some story on how a generator was placed accidently on the cable causing it to burn through. -
In my camp also ... one of the pumas were suppose to heli lift a rover with the netting. some of the young punks officers wanted to hitch a ride by grabbing on to the netting.
So the 1st lift that took off (w/o the men)... after a while ... ka boom. for some reason the pilot had to release the load. the rover plumetted 7 storeys down. wah big commotion. all the cameras were out taking shots of the carnage.
the goondoos officers who wanted to act garang.... see that, balls shrink and say no more.Originally posted by Gedanken:The mother of all screwups that I've seen has to be a demonstration mass drop at Tuas - a whole lot of Mindef brass were there to watch. The pallet on which the Mercedes jeep is dropped has 3 parachutes. Damn thing rolled of the Charlie ramp and only one opened. One of the boys was on the ground packing up his chute, heard a rushing noise and dived aside just in time to keep from getting squashed. Write off one Merc and one mounted Milan system. That was not a good day for 3rd transport.
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Thats what i hate abt armyOriginally posted by vleelee:Employer visit is a BIG thing.
Employer visit with Tony Tan is a damn BIG BIG thing.
so we in Arty reserve trg centre had this employer visit with Tony Tan.
the visit was planned with a full field kitchen demo and all that. the employers were to bring their wives also. Damn big thing.
Anyway, the demo was 120mm mortar live firing. the targets were on this knoll in safti.
so all the people were in the tentage. Chief of Arty and CDF were also there. ok ... fire mission battery, rounds away.
pop, pop, pop ... boom boom boom ... it seems ok enough
then ... pop pop pop,,, boom boom ,,,,, boooom. the booom happened to come from another knoll.
pop pop pop,,, boom boom ,,,,, boooom. the booom happened to come from the other knoll AGAIN !!
then Tony Tan - da man ... asked ... "err ... why ah?"
wah ... chief of arty said its erratic round. it happens sometimes.
Then Tony Tan asked ... "You sure ? the chances of 2 erratic rounds consecutively ... you sure?"
CDF glared. COA got problem. the battery was ordered to stop and check. Yah lah ... one of the tubes were set with the wrong line and sight.
CDF then signalled the end of live firing and the feasting and partying started.
No good. All the way from COA to the det commander got back side buttered. the reservist CO got it big. They actually had 2 days of meeting in the conference room to wack it all out. And I was sure the minutes of meeting were filled with vulgarities had it not been censored out.
I was there... I was typing the minutes of meeting.
Cock lah ....
the cock ups, the blame culture and the LPPL -
Well, you know the old military dictum - "Sh*t rolls downhill", and it gathers momentum too. Question is, who was directly in charge of ensuring the tube was properly aligned? The mortarman, or maybe the mortar PC? In any case, a whole lot of guys got greased for his screw-up.
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As I said in my previous posting, POI was mooted way b4 the 911 incident, SAF believe that our 'enemy' might use unconventional warfare by sabotaging our impt strategic during a period of tension(DEFCON #), something like the incident that happened in MY where rifles were stolen.Originally posted by 12qwaszx:i didn't know POI nowadays got training before deployed leh.
when i was deployed late 2001, all we got was crashed course advanced UC, then ROE briefing, then everyone bring 240 x 5.56 go out liaoz... Knn.. we even have to build the MG nests... hehehe... arrr.... good o' days of lobo.
Becos of the 911 incident, real POI deployment with the police in some strategic area, b4 that POI is just training for period of high alert, no real operational deployment.
As the matter of fact, my unit was one of the first unit to go thru POI training, I remember that ICT , we were supposed to do defence exe in Tekong, but when we reported to camp, we were told that we are giving additional operational requirement,i.e. POI.
The best ICT, few days of training, book out every nite & went to five Karaoke within one week plus of ICT!
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Parachute jump...somewhere overseas years ago.
After ensuring all chutes are open, we waited for the trainees to recover their chutes, and load it onto the tonner.
Was chatting with the officers, when received a radio call for assistance. So left with the medic to take a look. One fellow was entangled in the tree, and hard to be rescued with chainsaw. The other one...we had to control our laughter, cause he landed waist deep into a huge heap of cow dung, and was stuck.
Dragged him out...and the officers were laughing their heads off, 'congratulating' him for having the "softiest landing" in history. Pity his section mates though, cause although he changed, they had to spent the next 10+ days excerise with him...
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-double post-
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actually , at night, in the officer's mess. after beer and drinks, all the red faced high alcohol people became good friends again. the event was sponsored by Tiger some more.
I still have the photos of Winston Choo (face very red) having 2 babes side by side and his hands round their waists.
Yah ... it was that big. Drinks and pussies sponsored by Tiger.
the days of opulance.Originally posted by laurence82:Thats what i hate abt army
the cock ups, the blame culture and the LPPL -
chinese idiom ... 1 fresh flower stuck into cow dung
Originally posted by wombat:
Parachute jump...somewhere overseas years ago.
After ensuring all chutes are open, we waited for the trainees to recover their chutes, and load it onto the tonner.
Was chatting with the officers, when received a radio call for assistance. So left with the medic to take a look. One fellow was entangled in the tree, and hard to be rescued with chainsaw. The other one...we had to control our laughter, cause he landed [b]waist deep into a huge heap of cow dung, and was stuck.
Dragged him out...and the officers were laughing their heads off, 'congratulating' him for having the "softiest landing" in history. Pity his section mates though, cause although he changed, they had to spent the next 10+ days excerise with him... [/b] -
My ex-QM was quite one of a kind. He's hard working lah ... and most of the trouble he landed into were due to his good intentions. But sometimes ah ....
It was nearing the end of the fiscal year and we normally had to burn the remaining funds of the budget. (yah ... its true ... when you have excess $$ left, you just spend. Upgrade the loo, the lighting, the paint job, anything. all the tax payers $$ go bye bye). well, we had about another $800k left, so my S4 asked the QM to do something about it.
The QM had good intentions lah ... he kit exchanged the hole Bn's uniform.
take a few seconds to sink in....
.... it costs about $600k for that request alone.
wah ... all the other departments of course wanted to back side butter him. The MTO, the trg officer, all the fellas ... because all the planned upgrades were flushed down the drain by 1 single request from the QM.
and to make matter worse, we were suddenly facing a huge deficit, because we had other works that were already in the pipe line.
In the end me and my S4 had to write report to Gombak to justify the 'extra ordinary' expenditure. We actually got 2 people from G5 coming down to audit our books.
CO definitely not happy.
... sorry. its not a cock up mission... but still a cock up. -
Originally posted by wombat:
Hehe. Looks like we may have covered some of the same ground, Wombat.
Parachute jump...somewhere overseas years ago.
After ensuring all chutes are open, we waited for the trainees to recover their chutes, and load it onto the tonner.
Was chatting with the officers, when received a radio call for assistance. So left with the medic to take a look. One fellow was entangled in the tree, and hard to be rescued with chainsaw. The other one...we had to control our laughter, cause he landed [b]waist deep into a huge heap of cow dung, and was stuck.
Dragged him out...and the officers were laughing their heads off, 'congratulating' him for having the "softiest landing" in history. Pity his section mates though, cause although he changed, they had to spent the next 10+ days excerise with him... [/b]
Had a similar situation, but thank God I landed in a dried out rice paddy. Ended up knee deep in soil that had a consistency like ash - damned softest landing I ever had! The guy in front of me in my stick landed in mud and the next couple of guys landed in a pineapple plantation - they came out scratched and bloodied, but all had grins on their faces because they scored the pineapples they landed on.
That turned out better than another overseas jump I did - the people in the village next to the DZ saw the Charlies coming and decided to come and watch the show. I exited the aircraft, got into good para position and saw a multicoloured field instead of green - the buggers were right under me. I shouted down for them to clear the area, and by the time I found a clear spot I was less than 30 feet above the ground, right over a rocky spot. Braced myself for a hard landing and crunch - I broke a tooth. I forgot about it soon enough, though - we ran into one of the villagers who had a 12-gauge shotgun, borrowed it from him and were having too much fun checking it out. -
It is one of those hushed up failed projects that anybody who had the "honour" of working on would rather forget.Originally posted by Nothingie:They still using these?
Last time I was in the army, I used laptops for outfield ex liao leh...
& projectors oso using... even $60K plasma screens oso got...
luckily, mi not in G3 branch... who had to be responsible for the plasma screen, too ex liao... anything wrong, then 1206... die.... -
hey, it still beats using OHP, slides, slide frames, vanguard sheets, markers, masking tape and ... who can forget :
word perfect 4
word star 5
harvard graphics 4
fox pro
dbase 3+
lotus 123
.... and MS DOS 6 !!
hard drive was around 20MB. the default storage was 5 1/4" disks.
but i still remember some of the best PC games me and my kakis have played.
and who can forget the arcade machines in the canteen ... when u see the credits scrolling, its better than anything else. -
Oh yah, some Singaporean commanders are over reliant on OHP slides with maps copied on them and ink markers to plan their tatical moves, using up tons of slides and ink markers to get their tatical plans out, the poor grunts assigned with the task of drawing the maps on the OHP slides have a running joke that if malaysia cut our ink marker and OHP slide supply, Singapore is doomed.
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u forgot to mention telt.Originally posted by SingaporeTyrannosaur:Oh yah, some Singaporean commanders are over reliant on OHP slides with maps copied on them and ink markers to plan their tatical moves, using up tons of slides and ink markers to get their tatical plans out, the poor grunts assigned with the task of drawing the maps on the OHP slides have a running joke that if malaysia cut our ink marker and OHP slide supply, Singapore is doomed. -
I kana lobo before for a short while and the QM asked me to go and collect a roll of telt. So I blur blur walk all the way to the main store.
Man ... the first time in my life that I know a roll of telt cannot be carried by a person. Is so darn heavy.
then kana walk all the way back to borrow a trolley and another guy so that we can load the telt onto the trolley.
man ... industrial use.
oh yah ... ever tried shredding telt ? whew ... esp after a major exercise ... it takes about 20 odd trash bags to clear them.
but 1 of the more 'stress' jobs was lamination .... 1 false error and its game over ... and the maps are .... ehhh ... gives me the shudders.Originally posted by wuming78:u forgot to mention telt. -
:/Originally posted by wuming78:u forgot to mention telt.
Had to burn some telt a couple weeks back.
Halfway through, with heavy coughing, we were told to stop and cut them up into itty-bitty pieces.
Anything larger than a line has to be cut.
Ugh~ -
Why did they make you burn telt?! Don't they know that burning plastic gives off toxic fumes? It's not exactly very good for your health, man.... If u see anyone doing it again, maybe you should point this out...Originally posted by Johnston::/
Had to burn some telt a couple weeks back.
Halfway through, with heavy coughing, we were told to stop and cut them up into itty-bitty pieces.
Ugh~ -
u joking ar? 1 roll of telt need 2 person + trolley? or issit they issue longer telts nowadays?Originally posted by vleelee:I kana lobo before for a short while and the QM asked me to go and collect a roll of telt. So I blur blur walk all the way to the main store.
Man ... the first time in my life that I know a roll of telt cannot be carried by a person. Is so darn heavy.
then kana walk all the way back to borrow a trolley and another guy so that we can load the telt onto the trolley.
man ... industrial use.
oh yah ... ever tried shredding telt ? whew ... esp after a major exercise ... it takes about 20 odd trash bags to clear them.
but 1 of the more 'stress' jobs was lamination .... 1 false error and its game over ... and the maps are .... ehhh ... gives me the shudders.
I carried 1 box(2 rolls) b4 leh... -
hey whats new
the week b4 CNY i was shredding tons of telt... 1st by hand then by machine...
took me over 20 bags to get rid of and almost 1 and a half weeks.
the worse thing? telt jams inside a shredder even if its one sheet, if its inserted by itself... u need to sandwich it between 2 pieces of paper and even then it might jam. grrrr -
the one roll i seen is as tall a a person, heavy tooOriginally posted by Nothingie:u joking ar? 1 roll of telt need 2 person + trolley? or issit they issue longer telts nowadays?
I carried 1 box(2 rolls) b4 leh... -
Yah ... its like straight from the factory like that.
I am quite sure its more than 40kg ...
a good substitute for log PTOriginally posted by laurence82:the one roll i seen is as tall a a person, heavy too -
telt PTOriginally posted by vleelee:Yah ... its like straight from the factory like that.
I am quite sure its more than 40kg ...
a good substitute for log PT -
lateral thinking ... out of the box
telt can be used for:
subs for poncho
subs for tentage
subs for basha
enough telt can wrap up POW
telt for mess tin cover (to eat food in)
telt as ground sheet
telt as camo net (after marker coloring job from lobos)
water collection device
3 tonner cover
first aid dressing (with enough cotton wool)
.... wah ... the lost goes on...
telt, markers, masking tape, velco, x2 sided tape, toner .... w/o these , its not SAF