questions......

• the_don

  31 Oct 04, 10:51

  grrr..... my mind is again filled with questions that i want to ask my ex-s and watevers. i just don't get it why they treated me so and i just want to know the truth even if it is my worse fears. should i ask them? it seems so stupid to be call them up and asking questions like "were you just playing with my feelings?". i don't even know if they would answer my questions truthfully. i know everyone tells me to not think about the past, i got a wonderful partner now (i agree he is awesome ), but ever so often, the past pops it's ugly head and i slip into this depressed mood. it is really bad for me. just recently i read about being a manic depressive and i realise i qualify . should i call them up and ask? i am hoping it would bring forth some closure in my life. i just want to stop hurting and be truely happy.
• FeowFeow

  31 Oct 04, 13:03

  Dear girl,
  
  There'll always be those who hurt u simply cosh when we love somebody, it makes us v. vulnerable to them. It's the reason I dun allow myself to open up a whole lotta pple, cosh then they can hurt u.
  
  I've oso grown to realise tt, in a r'ship, both sides will get hurt. Even if others trod on my feelings, I might oso haf hurt them too, whether intentionally or Not. It's part & parcel of learning when it comes to love.
  
  Naturally, I went thru the whole lotta emotions when I split up wif my exes -- depressed, self-pity, anger @ the guy, calling him names (hehhehheh, it's Not gd but it helped me feel better @ tt time), etc.
  
  But when I fall in love again, & I feel total happiness being wif the guy I'm wif, these qns cease to bug me. I experience once again the happiness & sometimes total frustrations tt come wif being madly in love. I'm sure my partner feels totally exasperated wif me @ times too, Nobody's perfect.
  
  But wat I wanna stress is tt, these r all part of growing up & being in a r'ship, & they'll still be part of growing up & being married. We hafta realise tt altho we tend to focus on how the partner has hurt us, we oso lose sight of those times we might haf hurt them.
  
  Having sez'd tt, I'm still Not perfect either. There're times when I'll still lash out when I see old traits in an ex tt I knew hurt me deeply. We're all human afterall. Chin up, girl, & treasure wat's in front of u : )
  
  FeowFeow (the ex-RP, in case u din noe)
  
  

  Originally posted by the_don:

  grrr..... my mind is again filled with questions that i want to ask my ex-s and watevers. i just don't get it why they treated me so and i just want to know the truth even if it is my worse fears. should i ask them? it seems so stupid to be call them up and asking questions like "were you just playing with my feelings?". i don't even know if they would answer my questions truthfully. i know everyone tells me to not think about the past, i got a wonderful partner now (i agree he is awesome ), but ever so often, the past pops it's ugly head and i slip into this depressed mood. it is really bad for me. just recently i read about being a manic depressive and i realise i qualify . should i call them up and ask? i am hoping it would bring forth some closure in my life. i just want to stop hurting and be truely happy.

• HENG@

  31 Oct 04, 13:04

  argh i hear the wind escaping thru gaps in the teeth.
• FeowFeow

  31 Oct 04, 13:08

  Who's the feline
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  argh i hear the wind escaping thru gaps in the teeth.

• HENG@

  31 Oct 04, 13:21

  Originally posted by FeowFeow:

  Who's the feline
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  you.
  I speaka da engrish. You are very beautiflu. Ver is da toilet?
• Devil1976

  31 Oct 04, 23:59

  Originally posted by the_don:

  grrr..... my mind is again filled with questions that i want to ask my ex-s and watevers. i just don't get it why they treated me so and i just want to know the truth even if it is my worse fears. should i ask them? it seems so stupid to be call them up and asking questions like "were you just playing with my feelings?". i don't even know if they would answer my questions truthfully. i know everyone tells me to not think about the past, i got a wonderful partner now (i agree he is awesome ), but ever so often, the past pops it's ugly head and i slip into this depressed mood. it is really bad for me. just recently i read about being a manic depressive and i realise i qualify . should i call them up and ask? i am hoping it would bring forth some closure in my life. i just want to stop hurting and be truely happy.

  Yes. Would ask you not to dig back into the past and be contented.
  
  As you've already mentioned, you probably won't know what you hear would be the truth anyway?
  
  'Closure'. Is just a wish and assumption. It can 'end' if you want to? It can also be.... "So is what they told me REALLY the truth?" And if so... What's gonna be your next move...? What if the words are hurting...? Spoil your mood and disrupt everything... Is it worth it to trade all that for your current happiness..? Perhaps you might think it's worth it... Well, think again..? Would it be fair to your current bf who has given you so much...? What do you wanna return him with...?
  
  Understand that no matter what you learn of today, you probably can't go back and change the past... The past... The present... A distance and a stack of space apart... Why would you want them to collide?
• FeowFeow

  1 Nov 04, 11:19

  My gdness, u go over-da-seas to study, & come back wif Euro-da-pean accent-ah?
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  you.
  I speaka da engrish. You are very beautiflu. Ver is da toilet?

• gerrykoh

  1 Nov 04, 11:49

  No point asking cos u will still get hurt.
  Maybe yr ex did love u at that time when u are together but they change.
  Forget the past & move on.
• choco B

  1 Nov 04, 12:18

  Ordinarily I would ask you to forget about the past. But it seems like this issue has been bugging you again and again - this isn't the first time you've brought it up and it seems to be bringing you alot of headache. So for the sake of your current relationship, and if you really think it will bring you some relief, perhaps it is good to meet with your ex and trash it out. There is no guarantee of a satisfactory outcome, but at least you know you've tried, and perhaps there will be closure from it.
• HENG@

  1 Nov 04, 18:27

  Originally posted by FeowFeow:

  My gdness, u go over-da-seas to study, & come back wif Euro-da-pean accent-ah?
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Ja. So I speaka da engrish. You are very beautiflu. Ver is da toilet?
• the_don

  2 Nov 04, 19:46

  Thanks RP jie (aka FeowFeow ), Devil, Choco and gerrykoh for all your advice. I'm not so frustrated about it now and am trying to let sleeping dogs lie. maybe with time i would be able to leave behind these baggages.
  
  and thanks Heng for dropping by. and da toilet is at da back :mgreen:
• Devil1976

  3 Nov 04, 12:40

  Originally posted by the_don:

  Thanks RP jie (aka FeowFeow ), Devil, Choco and gerrykoh for all your advice. I'm not so frustrated about it now and am trying to let sleeping dogs lie. maybe with time i would be able to leave behind these baggages.
  
  and thanks Heng for dropping by. and da toilet is at da back :mgreen:

  Sometimes it's just emotional waves... They might come and go... It might not really be the matters themselves... Learn to take it easy as if it's a mood swing yeah...?
• HENG@

  3 Nov 04, 22:25

  Originally posted by the_don:

  Thanks RP jie (aka FeowFeow ), Devil, Choco and gerrykoh for all your advice. I'm not so frustrated about it now and am trying to let sleeping dogs lie. maybe with time i would be able to leave behind these baggages.
  
  and thanks Heng for dropping by. and da toilet is at da back :mgreen:

  vhy is da toilet alvays at da back? Vhen can someone build a toilet at da front?!
• Estee

  3 Nov 04, 22:27

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  vhy is da toilet alvays at da back? Vhen can someone build a toilet at da front?!

  cos if it's at the front.... u shd have passed by and seen it by now isn't it??
• killtuna

  3 Nov 04, 23:29

  if you really tell yourself not to think about it you wun haf so many problems..
  its actually cuz you never chose to let go
• HENG@

  3 Nov 04, 23:31

  Originally posted by Estee:

  cos if it's at the front.... u shd have passed by and seen it by now isn't it??

  but I do not know how to read da engrish signs...
• browniebaobao

  3 Nov 04, 23:41

  Remember there was once my fren suffered a break up and was really weak...cried, din eat..no strength to even walk..
  
  Then in sch, we talked in out with her..adults say when a guy wana break up with u, he must let u noe the reason. I duno..they say it's a must..if not how do u noe wat needs to be changed?
  
  I will ask....but be prepared to hear what u dun want to hear...and get hurt again..
• FeowFeow

  4 Nov 04, 10:06

  Dun mention it : ) A fren's always worth helping : )
  
  FeowFeow
  
  

  Originally posted by the_don:

  Thanks RP jie (aka FeowFeow ), Devil, Choco and gerrykoh for all your advice. I'm not so frustrated about it now and am trying to let sleeping dogs lie. maybe with time i would be able to leave behind these baggages.
  
  and thanks Heng for dropping by. and da toilet is at da back :mgreen:

• Devil1976

  4 Nov 04, 12:13

  Originally posted by browniebaobao:

  Remember there was once my fren suffered a break up and was really weak...cried, din eat..no strength to even walk..
  
  Then in sch, we talked in out with her..adults say when a guy wana break up with u, he must let u noe the reason. I duno..they say it's a must..if not how do u noe wat needs to be changed?
  
  I will ask....but be prepared to hear what u dun want to hear...and get hurt again..

  Don't quite agree... Going through a break up don't necessarily mean that you need to 'change' or even 'learn something' from it... Perhaps it's just human's instinct... That's why often people who suffer break ups without knowing the actual reason(s) behind might suffer a 'withdrawal' after that...
• browniebaobao

  4 Nov 04, 13:26

  Originally posted by Devil1976:

  Don't quite agree... Going through a break up don't necessarily mean that you need to 'change' or even 'learn something' from it... Perhaps it's just human's instinct... That's why often people who suffer break ups without knowing the actual reason(s) behind might suffer a 'withdrawal' after that...

  
  i duno whether the reason behind is to learn from it. Perhaps it's only fair to a girl ba. I really duno...ask the elders, they should know.