Need urgent advice from all..
Recently I held a conversation with my best friend. We chatted and he confided in me something which left me in much thought. Till now, I still don't know how to reply him..
His case:
He is in his mid 20s..his ex-gf, who was with him for many years, left him last year. Most of the time, he confided to me that it was his fault. Although they never got married, he ex-gf bore him a son, a toddler. His ex doesnt want their son and moved abroard. He was left with a child, and he felt so devastated then.
A few months later, he met a gal who knows about his past and a child. They began a relationship. However, in the first few months of this new relationship, he was still wounded by his past and was emotional most of the time. In this case, he flared up quite often and sometimes made his gf so nervous when he talked about suicide. His gf told him that if he doesnt change, she cant carry on. That was a wake-up call and he immediately changed for the better. Since then, he has been the perfect bf who does everything that she likes of him and made so much efforts just to make her happy. Both emotionally and financially, he tries to make her happiest gf in Singapore because he sticks to the belief that as long as he loves her wholeheartedly, his conscience is clear..even if she chooses to leave him one day. She told him that she appreciates his change and was very happy.
Many months have passed when recently, his girlfriend suddenly told him that she needs to re-think the relationship as it is gona face with lots of obstacles from her parents that he has a son and her fear of his past 'emotional talk on suicides' haunts her. She said that if not for the change, she wouldnt have stuck with him for so long. Once again, my best friend was devastated..that despite his change, his past still haunts his gf..she told him that she is going to leave him for a while..and think whether she is going to continue this relationship..
I was very angry when I heard this. My best friend has loved her so much, and I know the many efforts/sacrifices that he has made just to make her happy. The thing is..how could she just suggest leaving him alone once again despite him not making any mistakes? My best friend even intended to spend all his year-end bonuses to give her the most romantic and memorable Christmas day event. I was told that she was not materialistic and very understanding to him and his child. But to leave him at this time when he has done nothing wrong, is really devastating to him.
I told him to give her up but he just love her too much and worried that no other girls would love him again as he is with a child and he is without looks. I told him that it's better to leave her now..rather than after spending all the money and in the end, lose both money and girl. But I am also worried that my advice may be too one-sided.
Any advices to provide for my best friend is appreciated.
