what to do abt an unfriendly colleague?
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i recently just started work at this place, abt 2 months ago.. however last week, there was a small (really!!) misunderstanding between this colleague and i. now when i say hi to her, she'll bo chup me and when i tried to be friendly and chat with her, she'll give short answers and then that's it. should i continue to be friendly though i can really really really sense her very very unfriendly vibes? she used to be ok b4 the small misunderstanding..
i've only recently just graduated and this is my 1st real job. i don't really know what to do with work conflicts.. pls help... thanks. -
jus approach her n ask her is anythg the matter between you 2 n see how things goes from there...
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If she's so unfriendly, then dun bother, as you dun own her anything. Another thing is that she's just being petty.Originally posted by foxwalk:i recently just started work at this place, abt 2 months ago.. however last week, there was a small (really!!) misunderstanding between this colleague and i. now when i say hi to her, she'll bo chup me and when i tried to be friendly and chat with her, she'll give short answers and then that's it. should i continue to be friendly though i can really really really sense her very very unfriendly vibes? she used to be ok b4 the small misunderstanding..
i've only recently just graduated and this is my 1st real job. i don't really know what to do with work conflicts.. pls help... thanks.
Just have to act normal, dun try and make her feel like she is the superior as what she is doing now.
Don't have to be a bully or a rude person, yet dun be a person who gets bullied too.
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think the problem is being colleagues (and not friends, it's v hard to approach i think) moreover i don't know her v well..Originally posted by skeujin:jus approach her n ask her is anythg the matter between you 2 n see how things goes from there... -
thanks... u have been working too?Originally posted by stormax:If she's so unfriendly, then dun bother, as you dun own her anything. Another thing is that she's just being petty.
Just have to act normal, dun try and make her feel like she is the superior as what she is doing now.
Don't have to be a bully or a rude person, yet dun be a person who gets bullied too. -
I used to have similar experience.Originally posted by foxwalk:thanks... u have been working too? -
What's yours and her horoscope?Originally posted by foxwalk:i recently just started work at this place, abt 2 months ago.. however last week, there was a small (really!!) misunderstanding between this colleague and i. now when i say hi to her, she'll bo chup me and when i tried to be friendly and chat with her, she'll give short answers and then that's it. should i continue to be friendly though i can really really really sense her very very unfriendly vibes? she used to be ok b4 the small misunderstanding..
i've only recently just graduated and this is my 1st real job. i don't really know what to do with work conflicts.. pls help... thanks.
If it's not really such a big matter, just let it be for now...
Alternatively, you can try approaching her for a friendly 'la kopi' style chat to clarify things.. But it's important that you try to know a bit more about her character 1st..? Like.. Observe her... Find out just a little more about her from other people (but make sure that those people to try to source information from are not the gossip types!!)... If you find that she's still ok and approachable then ya approach her...? By the way, how old is she and how old are you..? -
What I usually do is talk to the person very nicely. If they cannot cope with it , then too bad for them because I cannot give a flying f**K about them . I will continue however to be very civil to that person .Originally posted by foxwalk:i recently just started work at this place, abt 2 months ago.. however last week, there was a small (really!!) misunderstanding between this colleague and i. now when i say hi to her, she'll bo chup me and when i tried to be friendly and chat with her, she'll give short answers and then that's it. should i continue to be friendly though i can really really really sense her very very unfriendly vibes? she used to be ok b4 the small misunderstanding..
i've only recently just graduated and this is my 1st real job. i don't really know what to do with work conflicts.. pls help... thanks. -
hi dear
what serious misunderstanding that leads you and her to be in this cold war stage.............since you have aredy make the first move and she is not being nice so just be yourself and do not need to be so sad..............
if you are the party who is wrong in the first place that leads to this misunderstanding maybe you shd apologise to her first
if she is wrong and now she is trying to be nasty to you just forget it ok.......go and befren other new colleagues...........
do think on the positive side
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i dun even know her so well, so how would i know her horoscope... age wise.. i'm in my early twenties while she's in her late 30s.. i dun think age is the reason lah... cuz when i finished A levels and worked in supermarket as cashier... all my colleagues like lao aunties.. but they were all v nice loh...Originally posted by Devil1976:What's yours and her horoscope?
If it's not really such a big matter, just let it be for now...
Alternatively, you can try approaching her for a friendly 'la kopi' style chat to clarify things.. But it's important that you try to know a bit more about her character 1st..? Like.. Observe her... Find out just a little more about her from other people (but make sure that those people to try to source information from are not the gossip types!!)... If you find that she's still ok and approachable then ya approach her...? By the way, how old is she and how old are you..?
not so good to find out stuff abt her i think... think my work environment is a bit gossipy... it's mostly the women... but hell, i'm a lady and i dun like to engage in gossips.. so bo liao.. -
since the problem is bothering enuff for you to post it on the forum, solve it whenever possible. Getting to know and getting along with your collegues comes with getting used to your job, whether its a new one in future or the first...sure there will be jitters....Same for everywhere, at school or work.... it certainly takes time, in fact u r doing fine.Originally posted by foxwalk:i dun even know her so well, so how would i know her horoscope... age wise.. i'm in my early twenties while she's in her late 30s.. i dun think age is the reason lah... cuz when i finished A levels and worked in supermarket as cashier... all my colleagues like lao aunties.. but they were all v nice loh...
not so good to find out stuff abt her i think... think my work environment is a bit gossipy... it's mostly the women... but hell, i'm a lady and i dun like to engage in gossips.. so bo liao..
Moreover, she does not understand you quite well either, so be patient. You will be able to clear up the misunderstanding when both of u got to know one another more and she understands u more as a person as time passes by.
All the best in ur first job! -
What was the misunderstanding?Originally posted by foxwalk:i dun even know her so well, so how would i know her horoscope... age wise.. i'm in my early twenties while she's in her late 30s.. i dun think age is the reason lah... cuz when i finished A levels and worked in supermarket as cashier... all my colleagues like lao aunties.. but they were all v nice loh...
not so good to find out stuff abt her i think... think my work environment is a bit gossipy... it's mostly the women... but hell, i'm a lady and i dun like to engage in gossips.. so bo liao..
Generally just adapt a friendly attitude? Things might just fade away with time... -
Female Colleagues are like that..... got experiences when I was in army. MY staff Sgt who is around late 30s always tell me that. Men will not remember bad things, just say sorry and you be okay but this doesn't apply to women esp old ones, they will remember for LIFE! . JUst ignore her lor, befriend other colleagues, maybe they will tell you more things about her, maybe others dun like her also.
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There could be other reasons to her mood...maybe a mood swing, or that time of the month? Since you've already explained that it's a small misunderstanding, cheer up! I'm sure she isn't that petty. As long as you've tried to apologise to her, you're not in the wrong! Just continue to be friendly to her, even if she gives you a black face all the time. Better to make a friend than an enemy at your workplace...especially when you're a new bird there.
I think even if your working environment is full of ladies, it's best to try and mix around with them. The point is not about gossiping, it's about building friendship with them. And besides, you won't feel so bad about your job if you have more friends around you! Like I said, better to have more friends than enemies! -
Horoscope again? i've read some topic bout these type of matter then u ask the horoscope. U really believe in these? really so zhun?Originally posted by Devil1976:What's yours and her horoscope?
If it's not really such a big matter, just let it be for now...
Alternatively, you can try approaching her for a friendly 'la kopi' style chat to clarify things.. But it's important that you try to know a bit more about her character 1st..? Like.. Observe her... Find out just a little more about her from other people (but make sure that those people to try to source information from are not the gossip types!!)... If you find that she's still ok and approachable then ya approach her...? By the way, how old is she and how old are you..? -
Most people here are like that rofl. Nothing new. Just shut up and do ur job and suffer the consequences of not having friends like i did./Originally posted by foxwalk:i recently just started work at this place, abt 2 months ago.. however last week, there was a small (really!!) misunderstanding between this colleague and i. now when i say hi to her, she'll bo chup me and when i tried to be friendly and chat with her, she'll give short answers and then that's it. should i continue to be friendly though i can really really really sense her very very unfriendly vibes? she used to be ok b4 the small misunderstanding..
i've only recently just graduated and this is my 1st real job. i don't really know what to do with work conflicts.. pls help... thanks. -
They are not so 'zhun'... But as compared to totally nothing, it's always better to have more factors to consider...Originally posted by all_souls:Horoscope again? i've read some topic bout these type of matter then u ask the horoscope. U really believe in these? really so zhun? -
Ermm... maybe ur rite... but some how to my view, checking out on horoscope is jus trying ur 'luck'Originally posted by Devil1976:They are not so 'zhun'... But as compared to totally nothing, it's always better to have more factors to consider...
If something u wanna check it out n so coincident 'tio' then u will say 'wah so zun, no wonder'. But when its not zun... u will then say... special case... or blah blah blah...
so wats really the point in horoscope ar? -
why no one wan 2 write about "what to do with a too-friendly colleague?" -
bomb them
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Are you talking about those in magazines and such...? Those are only good for 'entertainments'...Originally posted by all_souls:Ermm... maybe ur rite... but some how to my view, checking out on horoscope is jus trying ur 'luck'
If something u wanna check it out n so coincident 'tio' then u will say 'wah so zun, no wonder'. But when its not zun... u will then say... special case... or blah blah blah...
so wats really the point in horoscope ar?
Of course, if you really wanna exploit something, you'll 1st have to know what it's more or less about and its limitations...? -
wats the conflict?approach her n sort it out....obviously she is disliking u lor.well u just started work.....outside world is full of politics,balls-carrying,strongest survive,do a lot of work but nobody appreciate when u make a mistake everybody fcuk u to hell.
rem thisl line"when i work nobody cares,when i rest everyone stares" -
=) The reason's obvious.But First of all, We will need to know whats the misunderstanding about. Does it involve hurting of pride? Does it involve embarrassment in public? Does it involve whatever you can think of?
Be a little more sensitive and avoid unnecessary Misunderstandings. Try to know more about her from her colleagues that are friendly to you. Since you are a lady you may perhaps threaten her position as the popular lady in the shop, and she felt threatened, which is unavoidable. Perhaps she will have to start changing her attitude. Otherwise, i would conclude that she is, although, in her 30s, an immature adult. If that happens, just smile. Its hard to get irritated when you smile, and other people involve would respect you more as you manage to handle your emotions well. THink positive, perhaps she is just afraid of you as she doesn't know you that well, give her time to adapt to her presence. try talking to her like a friend. Perhaps you are trying to speak to her either too personally, or too much like a strange, or perhaps as a proud jerk? Since, i believe, this is going to be a long term job, it is not a beneficial to you, her, and the shop's owner if this continues, try getting to know her more, after sometime of friendship, clear up the misunderstandings in the past, and hope for the best. Although i know, you will be asking yourself, why should i do all this? Why can't she do it first? Why can't she apologise? But, you see, you, should be the leader of your life. You, decide what you want, if both of you decides to remain proud and decides to wait till the other party makes a move, this could end up rather negatively, affecting your first impression of working full time. You can choose to make the choice first, making her respect your Decisiveness and guts, thus changing her opinion of you. If all this doesn't happen, don't worry, let time heal. This, is an experience that everyone has to go through at least once, considering singapore standards of society. THink positive, at least you do not have a word fight everyday you get to work like my cousin. =) and... You wouldn't like it at all, its hell everyday. So, just consider yourself lucky, that your first experience isn't that bad. Well, will write more if you ask some other day, too little information on whats going on. Take care and Goodnitex =)