Brooding...
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Went out with this gal I kinda of like last satÂ… our 3rd date so far. She nv sms me since that nite I drove her homeÂ…not even a gd nite or thank u (she did the last 2 times).
But guess I know e reasonÂ… I went kinda of moody during part of the date. She said more than once I can get rely quiet sometimes.
But before we left, I managed to buy her a few stalks of flowers (frm 2 gals who were eating at the same plc as us)Â… & she smiled rely sweetly at me then.
I am jus kinda of glad that the date ended in a positive wayÂ…
Since my best pal & ex left me few yrs back, I jus lost all confidence in myself & relationships. Jus feel that there is somethk inherently wrong with me. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the relationships I had in recent yrs always dun work out well.
With so much negativity & burden in me, I jus feel that any relationships I have now will eventually end up in failures. Every steps jus results in more mistakes, more pain.
Till today, IÂ’m still affected by how much my ex seems to hate me aft our break-upÂ… IÂ’m now like paranoid of ppl hating me.
The way a relationship concludes has this strong after-effect on me; like for my ex, I always has this urge to revisit the past & said IÂ’m sorry to her. To know that someone hates me precisely after knowing me rely made me feel like a loser.
Today, I try to maintain a cordial & distant relationship with ppl around me. I guess I wonÂ’t be in any close relationship for a long time until I figure out what the hell is wrong me. -
The past is the past.. try to walk out of it.. it's hard but not impossible.. saty focus on ur new relationship..
Be more pro-active.. i supp girls generally prefer guys who show initiative.. brings out their personality n exude confidence.. she'll appreciate that..
If u are the one who let down ur ex.. apologise.. afterall it is ur fault.. but if she still refuses to accept.. den move on.. dun sacrifice too much effort time n pride.. invest it on ur new girl.. ur ex will also move on after some time.. tt's if she's rational of course.. -
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:
Went out with this gal I kinda of like last satÂ… our 3rd date so far. She nv sms me since that nite I drove her homeÂ…not even a gd nite or thank u (she did the last 2 times).
Well.. Why don't you initiate a conversation or sms instead..?
But guess I know e reasonÂ… I went kinda of moody during part of the date. She said more than once I can get rely quiet sometimes.
That is kinda bad especially for a young blooming date... Try to apologise after that and DON'T repeat the same thing again!!
The girl would probably be thinking... If you're not in a happy mood, don't date me...? Unless she's a rather understanding girl or you actually asked her out, telling you're low on your mood and need someone to talk to...?
But before we left, I managed to buy her a few stalks of flowers (frm 2 gals who were eating at the same plc as us)Â… & she smiled rely sweetly at me then.
I am jus kinda of glad that the date ended in a positive wayÂ…
Hmm... Things shouldn't just end there..? Flowers can be nice but still somehow superficial...? Can be a good thing but WORK ON it...
Since my best pal & ex left me few yrs back, I jus lost all confidence in myself & relationships. Jus feel that there is somethk inherently wrong with me. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the relationships I had in recent yrs always dun work out well.
May I know why your best pal and ex left you...? Hmm... Care to explain what do you mean by 'self-fulfilling prophecy'...?
With so much negativity & burden in me, I jus feel that any relationships I have now will eventually end up in failures. Every steps jus results in more mistakes, more pain.
Till today, IÂ’m still affected by how much my ex seems to hate me aft our break-upÂ… IÂ’m now like paranoid of ppl hating me.
Well... Your 'feeling' could probably be right..? The MORE you think NEGATIVELY, probably the HIGHER the CHANCES of things being NEGATIVE... Your outlook can really affect the way people react to you... So DON'T be 'afraid'... Try to stay 'POSITIVE' yeah...?
Your ex 'seems' to hate you or really hate you...?
The way a relationship concludes has this strong after-effect on me; like for my ex, I always has this urge to revisit the past & said IÂ’m sorry to her. To know that someone hates me precisely after knowing me rely made me feel like a loser.
Then SAY SORRY to you? Surely you can't re-visit the past... But is there no way to just say 'sorry' to her now...?
Today, I try to maintain a cordial & distant relationship with ppl around me. I guess I wonÂ’t be in any close relationship for a long time until I figure out what the hell is wrong me.
Well... You don't really have to distant yourself from people..? That certainly won't help to change things or make things any better....?
You can just reflect on yourself for now if you want to... And okie... Don't rush into a relationship 1st... But mixing around with people probably won't kill you...? REMEMBER!! STAY POSITIVE!!! 
"
PS. By the way, what's your star sign...? -
U have to like urself before others can like you. I know, sound like sh*t advice, but one i found to be true.Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:... I guess I wonÂ’t be in any close relationship for a long time until I figure out what the hell is wrong me. -
U need to come for my course.Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Went out with this gal I kinda of like last satÂ… our 3rd date so far. She nv sms me since that nite I drove her homeÂ…not even a gd nite or thank u (she did the last 2 times).
But guess I know e reasonÂ… I went kinda of moody during part of the date. She said more than once I can get rely quiet sometimes.
But before we left, I managed to buy her a few stalks of flowers (frm 2 gals who were eating at the same plc as us)Â… & she smiled rely sweetly at me then.
I am jus kinda of glad that the date ended in a positive wayÂ…
Since my best pal & ex left me few yrs back, I jus lost all confidence in myself & relationships. Jus feel that there is somethk inherently wrong with me. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the relationships I had in recent yrs always dun work out well.
With so much negativity & burden in me, I jus feel that any relationships I have now will eventually end up in failures. Every steps jus results in more mistakes, more pain.
Till today, IÂ’m still affected by how much my ex seems to hate me aft our break-upÂ… IÂ’m now like paranoid of ppl hating me.
The way a relationship concludes has this strong after-effect on me; like for my ex, I always has this urge to revisit the past & said IÂ’m sorry to her. To know that someone hates me precisely after knowing me rely made me feel like a loser.
Today, I try to maintain a cordial & distant relationship with ppl around me. I guess I wonÂ’t be in any close relationship for a long time until I figure out what the hell is wrong me.
got new course for depressed and low confidence people, "how to LOVE urself and how to make people love you"
easy, free, simple, all of us in a circle and we talk and we are friends by encouraging each other and treating each other. Its easier to like urself more when people tell u positive things about urself. -
e.g. u sound more than alright for guy material
U rate as class B in M@A's ratings for men. Coz u fit the profile of being able to drive, u proly own a car right? Big Plus point. Relaxxxxx -
Dun worry about your date with that girl... maybe she's not that interested... I did suggest a few more moves before really acknowledging that she doesn't have any interest you but you still gotta try right. I mean if you never tried your best, you will never know... at least once you know you can move on find someone else...Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Went out with this gal I kinda of like last satÂ… our 3rd date so far. She nv sms me since that nite I drove her homeÂ…not even a gd nite or thank u (she did the last 2 times). But guess I know e reasonÂ… I went kinda of moody during part of the date. She said more than once I can get rely quiet sometimes.
1) Send a bouquet of flowers to her at work. Go to www.prince.com. I have taken the liberty of choosing two sets of flowers for you to choose from depending on your budget.
Cost you $50 bucks... but hey its unique, it appeals to girls who lurve bags...
http://www.prince.com.sg/Sg_ProductDetails.asp?ProductSID=7507&CatSID=53
This one is $65. But its well worth it... people in the office will go ga ga and she will blush all over... and think of the person who sent this!
http://www.prince.com.sg/Sg_ProductDetails.asp?ProductSID=7523&CatSID=53
Now, just write something short and sweet... like
"I hope you like the flowers. Look forward to our next date"
Cheers!
Your Name
This is a pretty striaght forward note, a really BIG hint that you like her and are confessing to her... if she doesn't respond nicely, drop her and move on...
If she calls you or emailing you back, thanking you for the flowers and asking when will you be free for your next date... thats a big HINT she likes you.
Hey take it as an experience... with each date, you gain experience and confidence! You get to improvise on the next one! = ) Like your recent date, she said that you were pretty quiet... maybe it was your moody but girls are very sensitive they can pick up bad vibes very easily... so maybe she feels that you're not happy being on a date with her... try to be more outspoken, say funny things, say how nice she looks, or say nice shoes or nice bag, tell interesting stories... etc
So, there's plenty of fishes in the sea out there! Take your time and pick another target to hunt down!
See, the benefit with us guys is that we can choose pick a target... girls usually have to wait to be picked then they get to decide whether or not the guy is a keeper.
Cheers best of luck man! -
Hey about your ex and your best pal... its the past already. If it takes you to apologise to your ex, then just give her a call during the New Years, and just tell her that you just made a new New Year resolution, that is to apologise to anyone whom you have done wrong. Do the same for your best pal... Move on...Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:I jus lost all confidence in myself & relationships. wrong with me. With so much negativity & burden in me, end up in failures. more mistakes, more pain.
Till today, IÂ’m still affected by how much my ex seems to hate me aft our break-upÂ… IÂ’m now like paranoid of ppl hating me.
The way a relationship concludes has this strong after-effect on me; like for my ex, I always has this urge to revisit the past & said IÂ’m sorry to her. To know that someone hates me precisely after knowing me rely made me feel like a loser.
Today, I try to maintain a cordial & distant relationship with ppl around me. I guess I wonÂ’t be in any close relationship for a long time until I figure out what the hell is wrong me.
Girls dun like guys who have low self esteem and confidence... so perk up! Good thing about girls is that they seldom look at the surface but whats in the heart! So as long as you have the heart and you show it... she will love you forever! -
Originally posted by Devil1976:
Well.. Why don't you initiate a conversation or sms instead..?
That is kinda bad especially for a young blooming date... Try to apologise after that and DON'T repeat the same thing again!!
The girl would probably be thinking... If you're not in a happy mood, don't date me...? Unless she's a rather understanding girl or you actually asked her out, telling you're low on your mood and need someone to talk to...?
Hmm... Things shouldn't just end there..? Flowers can be nice but still somehow superficial...? Can be a good thing but WORK ON it...
Well, things cld definitely be better... but at the state i'm in now, i rely dun expect anyone to show interest in me.
I'll jus be glad no new frews i made frm now hates me..
I dun think i'll call her up again... she didnt even show much interest in me in the 1st place (as can be seen frm all the details during our "date")
I may stand a chance though if i'm really confident & persistent .. But i rely am not now.
Originally posted by Devil1976:
May I know why your best pal and ex left you...? Hmm... Care to explain what do you mean by 'self-fulfilling prophecy'...?
Your ex 'seems' to hate you or really hate you...?
She initiated a break-up aft a big fight... & i agreed. I tod all was all right & we nv spoke since then.
Few mths later, it was her bdae & i jus called her up to tell her i had a present to pass to her. She told me that "whatever it was, she was not interested .."
I managed to 'convinced' her to allow me to leave the present at her plc... but when i called her , she shut off her phone......
Subsequently, i think i saw her at a pub... She jus stared at me & walked off.
Honestly, till today, i'm still bewildered by her reactions?? Maybe she does not "hate' me but its definitely some negative feelins
I don't know if anyone can understand but i feel rely awful. I always hoped that we can remain normal, even not as frens. Why does she seem so hostile towards me.
Maybe i 'm always self-critical but i jus hate myself for getting into all these shit.
Most of my frens seem to get into a nice relationship easily & even aft break up, their ex either still like them or at least remain as frens. -
To sk : Thanx for kind gesture
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mebbe the girl is just waiting for her to give her a call! mebbe she tinks why is he doing this? why is he avoiding me? what have i done wrong?
how do you know she is not enthusiastic? after all, she did smile when you give her dat flower rite?
give urself and her a chance. u never know what will happen until u try.
all the best.
i.c.y -
So are you gonna try and give her a bouquet of flowers?Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:To sk : Thanx for kind gesture
Oh one more thing, dun take offence to what i'm gonna say but just want you to be safe...
you almost sound like manic depressive... if you find yourself, wanting to kill or hurt yourself for no reason, please seek help. Also, if you're indulging yourself in antidepressants like alcohol or pills, please seek help!
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I hear i.c.y is really really chio, nice, kind hearted and most importantly.... readily available...Originally posted by icyprincess:mebbe the girl is just waiting for her to give her a call! mebbe she tinks why is he doing this? why is he avoiding me? what have i done wrong?
how do you know she is not enthusiastic? after all, she did smile when you give her dat flower rite?
give urself and her a chance. u never know what will happen until u try.
all the best.
i.c.y
j/k
i.c.y -
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:
All these are but only of your PAST... You should only LET GO of them... CHANGE for the BETTER if you have to... Meanwhile, MIX around with people... You won't find out if you're really 'improved' on yourself if you don't mix around with people..?
Originally posted by Devil1976:
Well, things cld definitely be better... but at the state i'm in now, i rely dun expect anyone to show interest in me.
I'll jus be glad no new frews i made frm now hates me..
I dun think i'll call her up again... she didnt even show much interest in me in the 1st place (as can be seen frm all the details during our "date")
I may stand a chance though if i'm really confident & persistent .. But i rely am not now.
What 'state'? Hmm.. I'm still bewildered..? Why should people 'hate' you..?
I think it's better not to go into things if you're not even prepared for it?
She initiated a break-up aft a big fight... & i agreed. I tod all was all right & we nv spoke since then.
Few mths later, it was her bdae & i jus called her up to tell her i had a present to pass to her. She told me that "whatever it was, she was not interested .."
I managed to 'convinced' her to allow me to leave the present at her plc... but when i called her , she shut off her phone......
Subsequently, i think i saw her at a pub... She jus stared at me & walked off.
Honestly, till today, i'm still bewildered by her reactions?? Maybe she does not "hate' me but its definitely some negative feelins
I don't know if anyone can understand but i feel rely awful. I always hoped that we can remain normal, even not as frens. Why does she seem so hostile towards me.
Maybe i 'm always self-critical but i jus hate myself for getting into all these shit.
Most of my frens seem to get into a nice relationship easily & even aft break up, their ex either still like them or at least remain as frens.
Hmm... How a person would react to the other party upon a break up is usually dependent on
1. "The reason(s) / happening(s)" of the break up
2. How the partner treated him / her and the situation
3. His / her own form of mentality
Not everybody would choose to be 'ok' with things after a break up and definitely not everyone can choose to remain as friends or even 'normal'.... What happens to most of your friends don't necessarily have to correlate to your own experience...?
[/b]
You can't change the past... And it probably won't be too easy to change a person's attitude towards you if the person's determined...
Don't trap yourself with one 'marking point'... If there's only 1 person 'grading' you, the results you see might not necessary reflect much 'truth' in it... EXPOSE yourself to MORE people...? -
Yeah go for some of the forum outings... I hear its tons of fun!Originally posted by Devil1976:All these are but only of your PAST... You should only LET GO of them... CHANGE for the BETTER if you have to... Meanwhile, MIX around with people... You won't find out if you're really 'improved' on yourself if you don't mix around with people..?
You can't change the past... And it probably won't be too easy to change a person's attitude towards you if the person's determined...
Don't trap yourself with one 'marking point'... If there's only 1 person 'grading' you, the results you see might not necessary reflect much 'truth' in it... EXPOSE yourself to MORE people...? Meet new people, make new friends... 
-
haha...shud i laugh?Originally posted by :I hear i.c.y is really really chio, nice, kind hearted and most importantly.... readily available...
j/k
i.c.y
i.c.y -
Hiaks... girls so sensitive...Originally posted by icyprincess:haha...shud i laugh?
i.c.y
i.c.y take a joke!
No wonder so cold... -
Well, maybe not cause i dun drive a modified flashy sports model.. neither do i hav dyed Ah beng hair, the all-attractive JERK factor..Originally posted by men_@_arms:e.g. u sound more than alright for guy material
U rate as class B in M@A's ratings for men. Coz u fit the profile of being able to drive, u proly own a car right? Big Plus point. Relaxxxxx
Most imptly, i dun sweet talk, or hav plans to dump the gal aft bedding her.. -
I guess thats jus normal reaction when someone gives u a gift rite..Originally posted by icyprincess:mebbe the girl is just waiting for her to give her a call! mebbe she tinks why is he doing this? why is he avoiding me? what have i done wrong?
how do you know she is not enthusiastic? after all, she did smile when you give her dat flower rite?
give urself and her a chance. u never know what will happen until u try.
all the best.
i.c.y -
Dun know if i am considered "depressed"... jus like to keep to myself for some timeOriginally posted by :So are you gonna try and give her a bouquet of flowers?
Oh one more thing, dun take offence to what i'm gonna say but just want you to be safe...
you almost sound like manic depressive... if you find yourself, wanting to kill or hurt yourself for no reason, please seek help. Also, if you're indulging yourself in antidepressants like alcohol or pills, please seek help!
Thanx for ur concern -
Just have more confidence in yourself and things will work out fine.Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Well, maybe not cause i dun drive a modified flashy sports model.. neither do i hav dyed Ah beng hair, the all-attractive JERK factor..
Most imptly, i dun sweet talk, or hav plans to dump the gal aft bedding her..
Please bear in mind that not all gals go for guys who drive flashy sports car or have ah beng dyed hair, in fact, I personally feel that most gals go for guys who are confident, sincere, thoughtful, etc...
So long as you are true to the gal that you like/love, you don't have to sweet talk at all, it's the sincerity that counts.
Don't make wild guesses, try to date her again and see how things goes, give yourself a chance.
Good luck, pal. -
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Went out with this gal I kinda of like last satÂ… our 3rd date so far. She nv sms me since that nite I drove her homeÂ…not even a gd nite or thank u (she did the last 2 times).
But guess I know e reasonÂ… I went kinda of moody during part of the date. She said more than once I can get rely quiet sometimes.
But before we left, I managed to buy her a few stalks of flowers (frm 2 gals who were eating at the same plc as us)Â… & she smiled rely sweetly at me then.
I am jus kinda of glad that the date ended in a positive wayÂ…
Since my best pal & ex left me few yrs back, I jus lost all confidence in myself & relationships. Jus feel that there is somethk inherently wrong with me. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the relationships I had in recent yrs always dun work out well.
With so much negativity & burden in me, I jus feel that any relationships I have now will eventually end up in failures. Every steps jus results in more mistakes, more pain.
Till today, IÂ’m still affected by how much my ex seems to hate me aft our break-upÂ… IÂ’m now like paranoid of ppl hating me.
The way a relationship concludes has this strong after-effect on me; like for my ex, I always has this urge to revisit the past & said IÂ’m sorry to her. To know that someone hates me precisely after knowing me rely made me feel like a loser.
Today, I try to maintain a cordial & distant relationship with ppl around me. I guess I wonÂ’t be in any close relationship for a long time until I figure out what the hell is wrong me.
There is no problem in you basically - the seemingly problems lies with your experience that binds you like an entangle rope. Many times in life when we advance to the next phrase of maturity from past lesson, we became cynical and have zero confidence of our strength and life path.
Seriously, dump the 'I am dating you, so I am chasing you' mentality because that will only force you psychologically back to your injured past. Always change the preception that of your dates to that of trying to improve friendship with a friend. Then as time goes by, alter and change your mental attitude gradually bit by bit.
P.S: I don't know about you - my injured past always rejuvenate my soul. I chose to rip the core essence of my lessons to assist my future walkway. Will you allow yourself to sink forever in this stagnant stage? Or how long are you going to allow yourself to be in that phrase? 2 years? 4 years? 6 years? We can't change our walked path, but we can change what we want to do with the upcoming ones.
Cheers -
[quote]Originally posted by Devil1976:
All these are nothing but only of your PAST... You should LET GO of them... CHANGE for the BETTER if you have to... Meanwhile, MIX around with people... You won't find out if you're really 'improved' on yourself if you don't mix around with people..?
You can't change the past... And it probably won't be too easy to change a person's attitude towards you if the person's determined...
Don't trap yourself with one 'marking point'... If there's only 1 person 'grading' you, the results you see might not necessary reflect much 'truth' in it... EXPOSE yourself to MORE people...? [/quote
Regardless, wat has happend before, i don't think there is a black and white explanation regardless whose fault it is.... it's already OVER...
Knock yourself out, my fren... it's OvEr....
Stop blaming yourself too much!... U r not a perfect person, we do make mistakes sometime, you know ?... Forgive yourself and her..... forget about her... anyway i don't think it's all your fault that things turn out that way.
Don't look back in your life and regret that you didn't try to love again. I know it's hard but i'm sure one day you will find someone who will love you as who you are...
You should take heed of Yunhairer 's bolded quote... good luck, pal!