Its perfectly normal?!
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Dear all....
Really haf to seek your opinion...
I saw my partner saved a pict of his Ex's pet in his HP and he claimed that it was her younger sister who was just trying and testing out her new HP and thus sms him to find out whether its working...
And he mentioned that its perfectly fine and normal to receive her sis's sms...
ALTHOUGH
All these 5 years when he was with his Ex, he was just being normal friend with her sis and they never sms each other before and he doesn't have her HP number and vice versa..
After he split up with his Ex for nearly 7 mths and his Ex promised that she will never contact him again...
( why did her sis suddenly want to sms him out of the blue and his Ex knowing that she shouldn't contact him anymore decides to let her sis haf his number to help her test out her new HP!)
His Ex's sis has a BF and I believe logically she should be testing her new HP out with her BF instead of my partner?! what made her suddenly decide to sms him out of the blue?
In addition, I tried calling his Ex up to talk to her about how I feel about her sis's act..but to my surprise....his Ex has actually changed her number... -
Hmm... Not sure how should I advise you on this one... The possibilities are practically rather limitless...
All I can say for now is... If you trust your bf... TRUST HIM....
If you don't, it's gonna be a different issue together....
Though personally I feel that your bf might have made a lie or 2... But they might just be tiny ones and might not even be as bad as you think..? Basically, I won't know for sure... But if I have a gf who's as sensitive as you are to things... I think I would be rather careful of what I tell her too..? But breaking a few 'white lies' in order to reduce big misunderstandings and arguements might sometimes be worth it...?
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Trust your gut instinct. DUMP him if u must. He sounds like he's playing u.
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Great... Yeah... Just do that please.... AFTERALL, he's NOT our bf... So some of us can just say whatever we like...?Originally posted by Fuqua:Trust your gut instinct. DUMP him if u must. He sounds like he's playing u.
He's YOUR BF... You THINK about it...? -
So what are u getting so worked up about??? Unless u mean by "pet" the sister sent an erotic photo of herself? or is it a photo of a guineapig?!?!
rofl!!! -
I have a very bad episode with a lying, cheating EX. Is it normal to receive sms from a sister of an EX ?? who incidentally has a BF just to test her new HP!! PLEASE-lah!. Anyway, the BF shud be sensitive enuff to the GF feeling to see this and assure her nothing going on before she even knows about it. So, my earlier advise was, she shud listen to her gut feelings. If it's saying, he's playing wiv her heart, then DUMP that poor excuse of a man.Originally posted by Devil1976:Great... Yeah... Just do that please.... AFTERALL, he's NOT our bf... So some of us can just say whatever we like...?
He's YOUR BF... You THINK about it...?
Trust shud be earned. So far, the bf's more interested in hiding the truth and saving his own butt then be more concerned with his gf very valid concerns. -
its not normal to receive a sms.. but the chance of ur partner telling the truth is very high.. y does he bother to use such a reason to bluff u,when is so ridiculous that no one believe he can easily think of other excuses.
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Though I understand that you had your bad experience... It's just harsh, if not irresponsible to ask another to DUMP her bf for that alone...?Originally posted by Fuqua:I have a very bad episode with a lying, cheating EX. Is it normal to receive sms from a sister of an EX ?? who incidentally has a BF just to test her new HP!! PLEASE-lah!. Anyway, the BF shud be sensitive enuff to the GF feeling to see this and assure her nothing going on before she even knows about it. So, my earlier advise was, she shud listen to her gut feelings. If it's saying, he's playing wiv her heart, then DUMP that poor excuse of a man.
Trust shud be earned. So far, the bf's more interested in hiding the truth and saving his own butt then be more concerned with his gf very valid concerns.
Pls read my earlier advice... Like I've said, if his gf is indeed a very sensitive girl, putting her to such information probably won't help at all.. Whether the way he did it was of good will or evil intention, we certainly can't be sure at all...? Afterall, we're not in the relationship itself...
'Gut feelings' and 'listening to the heart' don't always work in circumstances... Lots of relationships had died form that because of misunderstandings, rumours and intentional sabotages by 3rd parties...
I agree that trust should be earned. But condemning him based on some lies which could very well be just white lies certainly ain't a wise thing to do...? -
I can be symphatetic to her and say everything gonna be ok. But i'd like to give my honest response to it, especially when it comes to cheating bf/gf.Originally posted by Devil1976:Though I understand that you had your bad experience... It's just harsh, if not irresponsible to ask another to DUMP her bf for that alone...?
Pls read my earlier advice... Like I've said, if his gf is indeed a very sensitive girl, putting her to such information probably won't help at all.. Whether the way he did it was of good will or evil intention, we certainly can't be sure at all...? Afterall, we're not in the relationship itself...
'Gut feelings' and 'listening to the heart' don't always work in circumstances... Lots of relationships had died form that because of misunderstandings, rumours and intentional sabotages by 3rd parties...
I agree that trust should be earned. But condemning him based on some lies which could very well be just white lies certainly ain't a wise thing to do...?
Rite now, she has to ask herself what she wants from the r/s. She's not happy now and continue to have persistent doubts. If her gut feelings telling her the bf some lying tosser, then she shud listen to it and act appropriately. No need to make excuses for his behaviour, and certainly no need to tolerate any dishonesty. Dishonesty sucks.
Let's just agree to disagree on this. Up to her to decide. Her life. -
It isn for us outsider to say if it is normal or wat.. It is all dependent on the parties involved?
Say it may be normal for them to msg each other dependin on how close their relationship is to each other...
Mayb coz of ur previous relationship, of cheat, etc.. Then makes it hard for u to trust.. Easy to say.. I belive in him.. I trust him.. Gals, will forever be gals.. The green eye monster is out again!
True.. U might not know wat is goin on inbetween.. Sometimes.. Certain things are better left unknown.. Thus, in order not to hmm.. Further aggrevate things, white lies are said..
Thinkin on the bright side.. He cares alot for ur feelins such tat, he doesn wants u to find out, coz he noe u did be unhappy.. On the other hand.. He keeps things from u, betrayin ur trust..
But then, wat if u knew? Wat could u have done? I feel tat.. By stoppin him to keep in contact with gals.. or his Ex's sis, or mayb his ex herself.. It seems lik invadin his privacy or rights?
If he is meant to be urs, he be urs.. He loves u, thus he is with u and not his ex..
Say.. After a broken relationship.. How can 2 people be so close.. Yet, once after break up, they can be so cold? I feel is ok.. I meant if he still wanna keep in contact wit his ex.. No matter wat.. They do have shared a past after all.. True true.. Jealousy sets in..
But then.. If he has an understandin gf by his side.. Won he be happier n more contented to stay by ur side? Rather than if he has a ragin jealous gf, wouldn' it makes him run off faster?
Hop i didn offended u.. Jus hmm.. My sendiments..
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Though I might agree to a certain extent on some of the things you've wrote...Originally posted by Fuqua:I can be symphatetic to her and say everything gonna be ok. But i'd like to give my honest response to it, especially when it comes to cheating bf/gf.
Rite now, she has to ask herself what she wants from the r/s. She's not happy now and continue to have persistent doubts. If her gut feelings telling her the bf some lying tosser, then she shud listen to it and act appropriately. No need to make excuses for his behaviour, and certainly no need to tolerate any dishonesty. Dishonesty sucks.
Let's just agree to disagree on this. Up to her to decide. Her life.
But taking 'appropriate actions' through 'gut feelings' certainly don't mean 'DUMPING' him alone...
That would probably only results in a HARSH ACTION? -
you are overreacting la. its just a photo only. somemore that of an animal. piang eh.. dun tink too much la.
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even though i am a guy too, i cant help but say the bf shld also be self-aware.
what matters most is not what 1 is doing, but what 1 APPEARS to be doing.
in other words, all u have to do is to look/act suspicious for others to be cautious of u, irregardless of whether u are guilty or not.
hence the bf or rather yr bf shldnt have kept that bloody pic, that raises suspicions.
if i am in his shoes, i rather del the pic than to plant a seed for future quarrels,
pictures ? i can get from the net, cuter somemore -
personally, i feel its not normal... and if you felt so upset abt it, your bf should have made more effort to console you... anyway, dun go overboard... just be alert on wat he is doing and dun get screwed
~ meow ~ meow ~
meow ~ meow meow ~ meow ~ meow ~ meow ~ -
ppl, perhaps u shld wait for gur to speak,
after all its her thread
n she haven reply for so long -
dear all...
thanks for your advice...i haven't speak coz i am still upset over it. I am still keeping track of this thread thou...
As much as i like to TRUST him...his "perfectly normal" response seemed to be rather irrational to me....
in times like this...he always appear to be siding his EX/Ex's sis whatever when i voiced my opinion on such...
thus...from being surprised (at my discovery), will become upset (dat he refused to see my point of view) to being angry (that he's so insensitive) to being suspicious of his actions (my gut feelings tells me that its his Ex not his Ex's sis or whoever)..
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perhaps u shld tell him dat communication is impt in a r/s
n get him to sit dwn n tok wif u, hart-to-hart.....
at e end of e day, if e r/s aint gonna work out
no point tryin to hold on....
tell him wat u feel, ask hhim for his opinion
luv is a 2-way street, givin him all ur luv n concern if he doesnt appreciate
u wuld be e 1 to suffer most
e point is still, get him to tok to u
if he realli doesnt, den its up to u to decide the future of u two...... -
Don't you think that there could be an equal chance that you might be oversensitive to things...?Originally posted by gur:dear all...
thanks for your advice...i haven't speak coz i am still upset over it. I am still keeping track of this thread thou...
As much as i like to TRUST him...his "perfectly normal" response seemed to be rather irrational to me....
in times like this...he always appear to be siding his EX/Ex's sis whatever when i voiced my opinion on such...
thus...from being surprised (at my discovery), will become upset (dat he refused to see my point of view) to being angry (that he's so insensitive) to being suspicious of his actions (my gut feelings tells me that its his Ex not his Ex's sis or whoever)..
I mean... Though it might be 'something' or nothing.. But doesn't it occur to you that it might be too early to just give a 'death penalty' like this...? Or even if it's not that severe... It'll be 'good' if your guts are right... But letting your relationship takes the blow and 'suffer' when nothing is really that wrong.. Would it be fair to your bf and the relationship...?
Well... It's YOUR RELATIONSHIP, so you can go THINK about it yourself...? -
I remember my lecturer telling me about trust.Originally posted by Fuqua:I can be symphatetic to her and say everything gonna be ok. But i'd like to give my honest response to it, especially when it comes to cheating bf/gf.
Rite now, she has to ask herself what she wants from the r/s. She's not happy now and continue to have persistent doubts. If her gut feelings telling her the bf some lying tosser, then she shud listen to it and act appropriately. No need to make excuses for his behaviour, and certainly no need to tolerate any dishonesty. Dishonesty sucks.
Let's just agree to disagree on this. Up to her to decide. Her life.
When she asked us about trust, one of my classmates replied "Trust should be earnt."(Sorry, don't remember everything), and she replied "No. Trust should be given. Only if you give out your trust, then will their trust be given to you."
I think she has made a good point. If all of us are reserved and keep our trusts to ourselves, or rather, decide not to trust people that easily, or not to trust people at all, and compare that to a person who trusts people, what do we have?
A person who trusts no one because people have to earn it will end up living a very miserable life, looking for backstabs everywhere. He'll probably die young for being paranoid, and will not get married for fear of his wife just wanting him for money.
A person who trusts everyone will also unfortunately have a miserable life cause his money has been cheated by everyone
But on the other hand, since he trusts people, this will be the guy that make changes in the world. Unless of course he meets up with someone who's really out to get him, but even then his friends will back him up, and he'll have a good life i think.
I think i've lost my train of thought, just wanted you all to know that giving out trust is the way to getting trust back.