Art of conversation...
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Lets work on the hypothesis that you; an intelligent, dashing, eligible young bachelor, sincere in relationships, honest, caring and sensitive to the women's needs, doesn't smoke/drink/gamble, owns a car, has the means to support it and above all a gentlemen(the kind who goes out of his way to send women home, opens doors and carries their stuff). While you fufill all the characteristics of the perfect partner, you possess the worst set of conversation skills the world has ever known, even talk show hosts have a hard time trying to keep the conversation alive with you.
Your potential partners find that they are unable to relate themselves to you and in due time found that they have no feelings for you apart from that of a good friend/nice guy, thus causing you to lose many chances to be attached.
Your social circle is limited to a few good friends and getting fewer as the years roll by.
Friends you once knew starts to forget you as you had hardly touched their hearts when you were around.
Loneliness fills your life and there's nothing you can do about it...
Although sincerity and honesty counts a great deal, it is the art of conversation that carries us into the hearts of others. Conversation skills can be wide ranging, from small talk with strangers to story telling techniques with friends to heart to heart talks with your closest. If you have read till this far, just jot down a tip or two on how to improve your conversation techniques with anyone, strangers, friends, girls... etc. If not just pen down your thoughts on how important the glib of tongue really is in personal relationships. -
thought you gona give some tips..
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Are u describing me
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The 1st step to be a great conversationalist... is to practise. Practice speakin with stones in ur mouthOriginally posted by risou:thought you gona give some tips..
Then watch re-runs of Stephen Chow "Bai mian Bao qing tian".. sprout hundreds of vugalrities in split second.. -
Lets start with something small then, hopefully other people can be encouraged into posting some more tips in thread.
Although small talk may seem insignificant, it is one of the best ways of introducing yourself to a complete stranger. Many might say that in singapore it is hard to make small talk simply because singaporeans don't seem approachable enough. However, you'll be surprised to know that alot of Singaporeans are more then happy to engage in a bit of chatter now and then. The tips in here aren't enough to make you proficient at small talks though, its the practice that you are willing to put yourself through that counts.
How to Make Small Talk
Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need.
Steps:
1. Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.
2. Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.
3. Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.
4. Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.
5. Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.
6. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ... the more varied your list, the better.
7. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.
8. Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.
9. Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.
10. Ask the person questions about themselves; however avoid personal ones. Begin with a question that will get you a simple reply and go from there. Most importantly, though, is to be yourself.
11. Keeping in mind that not all of us possess the quick of wit nor the glib of tongue, it would be good to start off your small conversations with a few of your practice lines. Getting involved in a topic that you are more familiar with allows you to more freely manipulate where you want the conversation to head.
12. Stretch your comfort levels, if you find small talk with strangers uncomfortable, try starting small. Say for starters you are waiting at the busstop, give a brief comment on the weather and check for their response. Repeat with different situations till you feel comfortable enough to proceed with the next step. If you feel uncomfortable starting conversations with the opposite gender, try starting with a conversation with someone of your gender to gather confidence.
13. Smile. Bear in mind all small talks are supposed to be friendly, people are much much more receptive to conversations when there's a smile on your face.
14. If the idea of starting a conversation with a stranger scares you, try going online.
Tips:
Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for comedic genius or wit.
Remember, you never have to do it alone.
Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat, but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
Warnings:
Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some. -
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not just about conversation skills, it is also about writing skills in forums ... especially for the one who surf sgforums during official working hours and claim it is part of the JOB
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I noe this is gonna sound really STUPID, but I'd encourage the guy to work in the Mkt'g dept in a bank
I used to be absolutely hopeless @ small tok. My ex-boss was really fierce, but a v. gd trainer. He wld throw me into situations after bringing me once or twice to see a customer. I wld hafta try to find small tok, etc. Only when I was really struggling, will my ex-boss step in. I was a total freshie, but he made me try.
So now, when it comes to small tok, I guess I haf enuff to last a lunch, & then I rush off *gigglez*
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Authentic:Lets start with something small then, hopefully other people can be encouraged into posting some more tips in thread.
Although small talk may seem insignificant, it is one of the best ways of introducing yourself to a complete stranger. Many might say that in singapore it is hard to make small talk simply because singaporeans don't seem approachable enough. However, you'll be surprised to know that alot of Singaporeans are more then happy to engage in a bit of chatter now and then. The tips in here aren't enough to make you proficient at small talks though, its the practice that you are willing to put yourself through that counts.
How to Make Small Talk
Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need.
Steps:
1. Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to teens to tourists.
2. Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps, signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.
3. Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.
4. Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good topic for talk.
5. Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes, observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.
6. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ... the more varied your list, the better.
7. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.
8. Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.
9. Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember, the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.
10. Ask the person questions about themselves; however avoid personal ones. Begin with a question that will get you a simple reply and go from there. Most importantly, though, is to be yourself.
11. Keeping in mind that not all of us possess the quick of wit nor the glib of tongue, it would be good to start off your small conversations with a few of your practice lines. Getting involved in a topic that you are more familiar with allows you to more freely manipulate where you want the conversation to head.
12. Stretch your comfort levels, if you find small talk with strangers uncomfortable, try starting small. Say for starters you are waiting at the busstop, give a brief comment on the weather and check for their response. Repeat with different situations till you feel comfortable enough to proceed with the next step. If you feel uncomfortable starting conversations with the opposite gender, try starting with a conversation with someone of your gender to gather confidence.
13. Smile. Bear in mind all small talks are supposed to be friendly, people are much much more receptive to conversations when there's a smile on your face.
14. If the idea of starting a conversation with a stranger scares you, try going online.
Tips:
Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for comedic genius or wit.
Remember, you never have to do it alone.
Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat, but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
Warnings:
Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and scientific discourses will be wasted on some. -
Where the heck does small talk come in???Originally posted by Authentic: Lets work on the hypothesis that you; an intelligent, dashing, eligible young bachelor, sincere in relationships, honest, caring and sensitive to the women's needs, doesn't smoke/drink/gamble, owns a car, has the means to support it and above all a gentlemen(the kind who goes out of his way to send women home, opens doors and carries their stuff). While you fufill all the characteristics of the perfect partner, you possess the worst set of conversation skills the world has ever known, even talk show hosts have a hard time trying to keep the conversation alive with you.
Your potential partners find that they are unable to relate themselves to you and in due time found that they have no feelings for you apart from that of a good friend/nice guy, thus causing you to lose many chances to be attached.
Your social circle is limited to a few good friends and getting fewer as the years roll by.
Friends you once knew starts to forget you as you had hardly touched their hearts when you were around.
Loneliness fills your life and there's nothing you can do about it...
Although sincerity and honesty counts a great deal, it is the art of conversation that carries us into the hearts of others. Conversation skills can be wide ranging, from small talk with strangers to story telling techniques with friends to heart to heart talks with your closest. If you have read till this far, just jot down a tip or two on how to improve your conversation techniques with anyone, strangers, friends, girls... etc. If not just pen down your thoughts on how important the glib of tongue really is in personal relationships.
The reason u not getting any babes is coz u are TOO nice, when girls just want jerks to satisfy their short run fun needs. U will get babes in their longrun mode though
Small talk is good and fun, but it is impossible in certain circles in Singapore; especially teacher/student relationships, with most teachers being all holier than thou and antagonistic, wanting to discredit anything/everything u may want to talk about in the hope of reducing u.
Small talk is fun and possible through other circles, but i find many locals are not approachable, except to each other.. i.e. there is that cultural division sometimes, where for e.g. if i were to try small talk with peers, they give u these weird "wtf are u talking to me?" looks. I think small talk is hard coz i find many people here are not very open. -
when i go clubbing, i can't really hear whats said n i can't get my friends to hear what I say so we dun bother with conversations. grooving is enuf.
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Eh not true.. i hav prob startin small talks with my very own s'porean frens . But then again i may be the odd one outOriginally posted by men_@_arms:Where the heck does small talk come in???
The Small talk is fun and possible through other circles, but i find many locals are not approachable, except to each other.. i.e. there is that cultural division sometimes, where for e.g. if i were to try small talk with peers, they give u these weird "wtf are u talking to me?" looks. I think small talk is hard coz i find many people here are not very open.
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yet ur adult right??? But if they are ur friends alreadi how can u have trouble?? pm me from time to time mate.Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Eh not true.. i hav prob startin small talks with my very own s'porean frens . But then again i may be the odd one out -
I mean frens as in classmates, colleagues etc .. ppl not close to me but "force" to make some meaningless small talk sometimes..Originally posted by men_@_arms:yet ur adult right??? But if they are ur friends alreadi how can u have trouble?? pm me from time to time mate.
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hmm....i think i have the same prob. I have never been gd at small toks. And even with frenz tat i know, i let them start the topic b4 i will start giving my crappy ideas. If no one wanna start a topic, the room will be awfully quiet. Tat is y my frenz always complain i very dao to strangers.Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Eh not true.. i hav prob startin small talks with my very own s'porean frens . But then again i may be the odd one out -
1. Always smile when u meet someone new. Make eye contacts.
2. Be attentive to details- what they are wearing, what they are saying
3. Have good memory. Most pple will be flattered when u recall what they told u. It means they are impt.
4. Be genuinely interested in making friends. Be pro-active. Call & chit-chat.
5. Be a good listener. Ask questions & let them talk. -
Any remedy for being LAZY to start 'small talks'..??>
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dun ask silly questions...u will get silly answers and unexpected reactions -
Gosh. You sound like a walking book.
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It is very easy to make small talk. Learn from taxi drivers!
With married people, u can always ask abt their kids., changes to edn system, tuition, enrichment classes, maid problem, holidays etc
With the guys- u can chat abt. computer games, cars, latest hp, mp3, downloading music, soccer, sports, adidas shoes etc
With the girls- u can chat abt movies, shopg, makan, clothes, pets, tv shows,
hair styles, nails, books, school, music CD, etc
Just 1 topic school u can talk abt the teachers/classmates/ subjects u like/dislike, what CCA, canteen food, funfair, concert, sch. rules etc- the list is endless!
I know of some pple who can chat nonstop for hours!
Just talk abt what comes to mind. -
i prefer the girls to TELL me about all their girl hair style blah blah blah etc all that stuff u just said.. coz i don't know a thing or 2 about it.Originally posted by gerrykoh:It is very easy to make small talk. Learn from taxi drivers!
With married people, u can always ask abt their kids., changes to edn system, tuition, enrichment classes, maid problem, holidays etc
With the guys- u can chat abt. computer games, cars, latest hp, mp3, downloading music, soccer, sports, adidas shoes etc
With the girls- u can chat abt movies, shopg, makan, clothes, pets, tv shows,
hair styles, nails, books, school, music CD, etc
Just 1 topic school u can talk abt the teachers/classmates/ subjects u like/dislike, what CCA, canteen food, funfair, concert, sch. rules etc- the list is endless!
I know of some pple who can chat nonstop for hours!
Just talk abt what comes to mind.
Yeah i can chat on and on about stuff to people i meet at gatherings and stuff, trouble is most of the OTHER PEOPLE! *Shouts out to Singapore* YES! MOST OF YOU!! ALways just quietly.. nod.. answer with 1 word answers or totally ignore me or are just plain uninterested even when i ask you about yourselves. Yaaarghhhhh!
The worst thing about it is.. i say worst coz it makes me feel.. like i am a bad person.. the worst thing is that tis lack of convosation only happens between me and local teens, never white ppl for some reason. -
Some people takes a while to warm up.
I guess the trick is to have an emotional connection with them.
Find out what is their interests & talk abt. it eg downloading of music.
If the girl likes a certain song, remember it & send it to her.
She will also have a good opinion of u for doing something so sweet.
The next time, u meet, talk abt. where to download, recommend websites/ songs/CD/lyrics/artistes/concerts/boybands, then incl. other topics. U also have to disclose certain info abt. yourself & share some experiences to make the bond closer.
U also have to be knowledgable & keep up with general trends/topics.
This u can get from reading newspapers & watching documentaries/ movies. -
i think most people here are just very shallow and conformed. They only wanna talk with whoever it is they USUALLY talk to, and if anyone new comes into the picture, they give u these "wtf u doing here" looks and they ignore u and only focus ont heir existing friends. Its just very shallow of people here, sorry for being candid.
The only counter arguement would be sgforums, which is why i am inclined to maybe go for an outing.. but trouble is.. perhaps the same thing happens in real life? i dunno. I see it in adults too. -
Almost all the Taxi i hail, the taxi-driver just start a conversation and some really funny, some nasty, some made causal remarks and some can just talk non-stop for there very short 10 min trips...
You have to be interested in there person and show genuine interest for the topic and the person. And of course, u hav to be at ease with yourself first. -
i tok to my dogs and cats and the strays in my neighbourhood
......they can't understand what i am sayying...but they look at me and lend me a listening ear
i like them