do i have any chance?

• LocalGod

  15 Nov 04, 20:33

  been going out with this girl for a few years. got tell her my feelings for her. the reply she gave was she kinda 'not ready' but she has been singles all these while. that was 3-4 years back. and so i didnt make much progress or ask her again as i was enlist to army
  
  now that i finish my army and i met her recently for a movie. i would like to ask for ur opinion if i have the chance given that wat happen during the last date.
  
  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  - we tok abt our family problems
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  or maybe i think too much and we are just normal girl guy friends?
• pie

  15 Nov 04, 20:52

  sounds like being friend friend...but if she is not attached, why not go for it?
• MetalGear

  16 Nov 04, 01:18

  mister,
  
  Go for it... Just ask... be direct n straightforward about it... dun hesitate, dun beat around bush...
  
  I hope this quote will give u inspiration which has been one of the guiding philosophies of my life:
  
  'It's better to having tried and failed then not having tried at all; hence carrying that regret with you and always wondering... what if?'
  
  No regrets!
  
• BabyLover

  16 Nov 04, 01:21

  i think quite gd chance.. no harm to go gv it a try...gd luck!
• Devil1976

  16 Nov 04, 13:03

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  been going out with this girl for a few years. got tell her my feelings for her. the reply she gave was she kinda 'not ready' but she has been singles all these while. that was 3-4 years back. and so i didnt make much progress or ask her again as i was enlist to army
  
  now that i finish my army and i met her recently for a movie. i would like to ask for ur opinion if i have the chance given that wat happen during the last date.
  
  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  - we tok abt our family problems
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  or maybe i think too much and we are just normal girl guy friends?

  VERY SUBJECTIVE.
• Xcert

  16 Nov 04, 14:13

  Originally posted by BabyLover:

  i think quite gd chance.. no harm to go gv it a try...gd luck!

  x 2
• Siaobell

  16 Nov 04, 14:32

  u'll never know if u don't try...
• LocalGod

  16 Nov 04, 21:14

  try once before army... she say 'she's not ready'...
  
  hmmm gonna ask next date... keep u guys updated
• sgFish

  16 Nov 04, 22:20

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  been going out with this girl for a few years. got tell her my feelings for her. the reply she gave was she kinda 'not ready' but she has been singles all these while. that was 3-4 years back. and so i didnt make much progress or ask her again as i was enlist to army
  
  now that i finish my army and i met her recently for a movie. i would like to ask for ur opinion if i have the chance given that wat happen during the last date.
  
  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  - we tok abt our family problems
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  or maybe i think too much and we are just normal girl guy friends?

  sounds almost exactly like the case i'm in...
  
  except i haven't told her my feelings yet. lala
• verloren

  16 Nov 04, 22:36

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  
  Put yourself in her shoe: If a guy offers to carry for you, would you mind at all?
  
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  
  She was just answering your question?
  
  - we tok abt our family problems
  
  Good friends talk about family problems too.
  
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  You see it as dating, but she may just see it as "going out".

  These are not attraction signals, bro! I suggest you interact with her more before you try to woo her. The reason why she rejected you was probably because she doesn't understand you at all in the first place!
  
  Think about it: Would you go into a relationship with a girl whom you don't even understand? (Assuming that you are not desperate for a girlfriend..)
  
  Same thing here. If you like her, let her get to know you better first. That way, she will be able to make her own conclusion whether you are the right guy for her or not. Good luck!
  
  
• LocalGod

  16 Nov 04, 23:23

  Originally posted by verloren:

  These are not attraction signals, bro! I suggest you interact with her more before you try to woo her. The reason why she rejected you was probably because she doesn't understand you at all in the first place!
  
  Think about it: Would you go into a relationship with a girl whom you don't even understand? (Assuming that you are not desperate for a girlfriend..)
  
  Same thing here. If you like her, let her get to know you better first. That way, she will be able to make her own conclusion whether you are the right guy for her or not. Good luck!
  
  

  then maybe i think too much le...
• all_souls

  17 Nov 04, 00:08

  Its not wrong to think much... but jus hope ur mind is not deperately lookin for a gf.
  
  So if ur mind doesnt think tat way, tell u wat... go to ur fridge, take out your balls n go for it. Waiting n thinking will only stress u out n worst u wont get the ans for it. So by asking... theres only 4 ans u will get from her.
  
  1) sorry... no ( lets hope she dont give this one la )
  2) i donno. ( hahaa... this is tricky. Must judge yourself already lo )
  3) she keep silent.
  4) OK!
  
  So its 25% chance for each ans. But if u dont go for it. ITS 0%!
  
  got it?
  Best of luck
  
  
  
• Haix

  17 Nov 04, 02:19

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  try once before army... she say 'she's not ready'...
  
  hmmm gonna ask next date... keep u guys updated

  well so......have u poped the question?? very curious and also very kay poh. hehe.
• SunRisE

  17 Nov 04, 10:20

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  been going out with this girl for a few years. got tell her my feelings for her. the reply she gave was she kinda 'not ready' but she has been singles all these while. that was 3-4 years back. and so i didnt make much progress or ask her again as i was enlist to army
  
  now that i finish my army and i met her recently for a movie. i would like to ask for ur opinion if i have the chance given that wat happen during the last date.
  
  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  - we tok abt our family problems
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  or maybe i think too much and we are just normal girl guy friends?

  I wonuldn't say that you have 100% chances to get her.. There can be many reasoning for this.. Since you jus met her not long.. why not.. still proceed as friends first.. though you know her for long.. but there's a period of time you both havent met up.. things can change during these period of time.. No one can predict..
  
  Cheers...
• _Aaron_

  18 Nov 04, 17:25

  Originally posted by verloren:
  
  
  These are not attraction signals, bro! I suggest you interact with her more before you try to woo her. The reason why she rejected you was probably because she doesn't understand you at all in the first place!
  
  Think about it: Would you go into a relationship with a girl whom you don't even understand? (Assuming that you are not desperate for a girlfriend..)
  
  Same thing here. If you like her, let her get to know you better first. That way, she will be able to make her own conclusion whether you are the right guy for her or not. Good luck!
  
  
  
  Verloren's correct.
  
  From what i read, i see that you don't really know the girl much.
  Brother, i suggest you 'go out' with her a few more times, and then slowly get to know her more before you 'pop' the question.
  
  At this stage you probably have 25% chance. But if you do it later, when you know her well enough, and do the right things, chances will rise.
  
  Love's a gamble, but i prefer to do it when the chances are much higher than 25%.
• Magnus

  18 Nov 04, 18:32

  The fact that in 3~4 years, there's no progress means you need to work.
  It's even back to ZERO, i'm afriad.
  
  But one thing good is that she still single and sought of 'wait for you'.
  But dun be complacent. You need to work harder. Much harder then before.
  
• LocalGod

  19 Nov 04, 03:08

  Originally posted by Haix:

  well so......have u poped the question?? very curious and also very kay poh. hehe.

  not yet. both of us are busy these days.
  
  thanks for all the ans... some say yes some say no. hai... it's not that i dun want to ask just that i scare if the ans is NO then our few years friendship is gone.
• gerrykoh

  19 Nov 04, 08:55

  Don't ask her yet.
  Date her out more often. Get to know more abt her cos 3- 4 yrs. people change, also to show her your good qualities to improve yr chances
• _Aaron_

  19 Nov 04, 09:08

  One thing that i often find myself doing is to put myself in her shoes.
  
  If you're a girl, and someone who you know likes you a few years ago suddenly meets you out. What would you think?
  
  Several scenarios here..:
  
  A) Is he trying to woo me again?
  B) Oh, he used to be a good friend, maybe he just wants to meet.
  C) Go out? Okay.. I was bored anyways.
  
  Something along these lines.
  
  But I can be sure if sheÂ’s thinking of A, well, since there is no progress, we must take things back to the beginning.
  
  And by doing that, ask yourself since you last met her. How much do you know about her? Are you willing to give up this friendship, just to tell someone youÂ’re not sure who likes you, what you feel?
  
  Once again, judging from what I see outside of the circle (You must often pull yourself out of the situation and look at it, without all the emotions, else your view is biased, and may often bring downfall.)
  
  Last of all, I have 2 personal experiences that coincide with yours. I used to have 2 good female friends, I liked them, and thought they liked me(at different times of course), so I told them what I feel. I didnÂ’t pull myself out of the circle and think, and that was a very big mistake.
  
  I lost 2 good friends subsequently, and it was only thanks to God that I got them back, so IÂ’m quite relieved.
  
  But really, sometimes its better to think with your brain, then with your heart. Whatever you do, make a wise an informed decision, and donÂ’t rush too much when it comes to affairs of the heart.
  
• LocalGod

  28 Nov 04, 23:21

  hi guys, i pop the question... indirectly of course to test water... in case we cant be friends...
  
  i ask her is it possible if we step beyond friendship and she replied, 'sometimes i think we can sometimes i think we dont'.
  
  i guess i have to know her more first like wat some of you suggest...
  
  let's see how it goes.
• parn

  29 Nov 04, 02:32

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  been going out with this girl for a few years. got tell her my feelings for her. the reply she gave was she kinda 'not ready' but she has been singles all these while. that was 3-4 years back. and so i didnt make much progress or ask her again as i was enlist to army
  
  now that i finish my army and i met her recently for a movie. i would like to ask for ur opinion if i have the chance given that wat happen during the last date.
  
  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  - we tok abt our family problems
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  or maybe i think too much and we are just normal girl guy friends?

  Okie...well, the worst thing that can happened is...she may be waiting for somebody else to ask her to be his girlfriend. She definitely will not mind you to help her carry her bag for her as you are her friend and she thinks that you are nice and helpful.
  
  The rest of the points that you have pointed out don't really meant anything as she could be a friendly and polite girl. For keeping the dating as secret, you will need to refer to my worst scenario in the first line in my first paragraph.
  
  Continue to care for her as a friend and like her if you still have feelings for her. Don't think about anything else as they might not make you a happy person at the end of the day...or worse, before the beginning of your date with her.
  
  Good luck......
• mahai102

  29 Nov 04, 15:01

  go & shoot yourself in the head...best thing really...
• men_@_arms

  29 Nov 04, 15:27

  Originally posted by LocalGod:

  been going out with this girl for a few years. got tell her my feelings for her. the reply she gave was she kinda 'not ready' but she has been singles all these while. that was 3-4 years back. and so i didnt make much progress or ask her again as i was enlist to army
  
  now that i finish my army and i met her recently for a movie. i would like to ask for ur opinion if i have the chance given that wat happen during the last date.
  
  - she dun mind me carrrying her bag (or maybe she was tired?)
  - she explain to me who she went out with when i ask her if she go out with guy(a friendly question actually)
  - we tok abt our family problems
  - our dating is kinda secret among our friends
  
  or maybe i think too much and we are just normal girl guy friends?

  Ofcourse u stand a chance. But don't expect anything rofl. Everyone stands a chance, no matter how fucking minute.