Is it advicable?
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My ex recently got a new gf.. We broke off almost a yr already.. But then.. Once in a while.. I mean b4 he got gf.. We went out tog, etc.. Nothin special.. But then is jus the both of us..
Then i told myself.. He now got gf le.. I won't meet him at all in person lor.. Jus contact thru msn will suffice..
Then in msn.. He says.. Free.. Can meet up lor.. I say don want.. He says.. Fine lor.. Don even want be friends..
I told him.. No lah.. Jus tat u now got gf le.. NOt convinent.. I very hmm.. Not say antisocial.. but i prefer small grp.. Don really mix around.. And he understands very well tat.. If we meet, it be only the both of us..
He says, nev mind de lah.. She won mind.. Haha.. I says, even she says don mind, her heart will mind..
Tat was yest.. 2dae i disturb him to see if he meant wat he said.. He meant it lor.. I tease him.. Ask him better go ask permission first.. But he kept quiet..
I am afraid lor.. I do wish to keep in contact wit him as gd friends.. But to meet him out and only the both of us? How will his gf feel?
I meant, if me.. I surely jealous to hell.. I hop he won go.. Unless.. Mayb if she is only a female friend.. but i doubt i can accept it so lor!
So.. Is it ok?
I mean to meet up with him to catch up.. Chat chat abit.. 1 part of mi wish to.. The other part of mi hop not to..
cAn give me advices.. Thanks!
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So its hard for a guy n a gal to be jus truly really frens. ( some cases )
1)If u wanna catch up with him, meet him out n ask him to get his gf along... i think she will be jealouse. ( unless she is open minded kind )
2)If u ask him to get his gf approval first b4 meeting u out, his gf will get jealouse too. ( unless she is open minded kind n trust his bf )
So wat do u think? any way? secret way? thru msn chat, mobile chat? But tat = making him cheat on his gf. ( if he lies to her when she ask him )
Afterall, if u wanna meet him up n jus purely wanna catch things up with ur ex, nothing else... go for it. Not asking u to be selfish to not thinking bout his gf feelings. But ur conscience is clear, so why afraid? RITE?
i've got a gal fren, her boyfren damned possessive don let her talk to guys n etc etc. Despite tat, she still calls me n chat n we meet out once every few months. Cos we are pure frens... Nothing else -
same here. my exbf n i are still gd frens. his gf also damn possessivw. he still calls me up behind her back...only can like tat to stay in contact....
i find its ok lah... as lg ur truely juz frens... -
It will be childish for one to get jealous over this.. if his gf is very confident of her own bf.. have trust and faith.. this kind of thing wont happen.. Lack of insecurity.. Of cos.. i know its rather hard for a girl not to get jealous.. this is what women best at! Well.. even i do have such feellings.. but on the other hand you think about it.. if you hold him too tight that he cant breathe soon.. he will burst out.. and cannot take it.. possessiveness take place..Originally posted by ahkico:My ex recently got a new gf.. We broke off almost a yr already.. But then.. Once in a while.. I mean b4 he got gf.. We went out tog, etc.. Nothin special.. But then is jus the both of us..
Then i told myself.. He now got gf le.. I won't meet him at all in person lor.. Jus contact thru msn will suffice..
Then in msn.. He says.. Free.. Can meet up lor.. I say don want.. He says.. Fine lor.. Don even want be friends..
I told him.. No lah.. Jus tat u now got gf le.. NOt convinent.. I very hmm.. Not say antisocial.. but i prefer small grp.. Don really mix around.. And he understands very well tat.. If we meet, it be only the both of us..
He says, nev mind de lah.. She won mind.. Haha.. I says, even she says don mind, her heart will mind..
Tat was yest.. 2dae i disturb him to see if he meant wat he said.. He meant it lor.. I tease him.. Ask him better go ask permission first.. But he kept quiet..
I am afraid lor.. I do wish to keep in contact wit him as gd friends.. But to meet him out and only the both of us? How will his gf feel?
I meant, if me.. I surely jealous to hell.. I hop he won go.. Unless.. Mayb if she is only a female friend.. but i doubt i can accept it so lor!
So.. Is it ok?
I mean to meet up with him to catch up.. Chat chat abit.. 1 part of mi wish to.. The other part of mi hop not to..
cAn give me advices.. Thanks!
i dunno how will his gf think about it.. but if both of you are jus goin out for dinner.. or soemthing.. its perfectly ok.. there's no need to seek permission from gf.. he's not a kid.. The most.. he let her know.. if she really really mind.. then ask her join along. if you don't mind.. if this really happens... i guess the gf jus wwanna take a good look at what her bf is goin out with..
Well.. after all you jus wanna go out.. and nothing else..
Cheers.. -
You can choose to remain as his friends. Set boundaries on the friendship.
It also depends on how he balances between his friends and his girlfriend. -
Contacts might be okay... If wanna go out, then better to go out in a GROUP?Originally posted by ahkico:My ex recently got a new gf.. We broke off almost a yr already.. But then.. Once in a while.. I mean b4 he got gf.. We went out tog, etc.. Nothin special.. But then is jus the both of us..
Then i told myself.. He now got gf le.. I won't meet him at all in person lor.. Jus contact thru msn will suffice..
Then in msn.. He says.. Free.. Can meet up lor.. I say don want.. He says.. Fine lor.. Don even want be friends..
I told him.. No lah.. Jus tat u now got gf le.. NOt convinent.. I very hmm.. Not say antisocial.. but i prefer small grp.. Don really mix around.. And he understands very well tat.. If we meet, it be only the both of us..
He says, nev mind de lah.. She won mind.. Haha.. I says, even she says don mind, her heart will mind..
Tat was yest.. 2dae i disturb him to see if he meant wat he said.. He meant it lor.. I tease him.. Ask him better go ask permission first.. But he kept quiet..
I am afraid lor.. I do wish to keep in contact wit him as gd friends.. But to meet him out and only the both of us? How will his gf feel?
I meant, if me.. I surely jealous to hell.. I hop he won go.. Unless.. Mayb if she is only a female friend.. but i doubt i can accept it so lor!
So.. Is it ok?
I mean to meet up with him to catch up.. Chat chat abit.. 1 part of mi wish to.. The other part of mi hop not to..
cAn give me advices.. Thanks!
Also depends on how well his gf can accept it and how well you can get along with her...? -
this is what i think :
he doesnt mind and so does she...
the only who mind is you....... BECAUSE YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HIM.
you dont want to be alone with him not because you are concerned about his gf being jealous....
but being with him alone reminds you that he is not yours.... and it hurts you.
do consider your intentions; dont be in denial. -
Hmm... Mayb i still do..Originally posted by nuchio:this is what i think :
he doesnt mind and so does she...
the only who mind is you....... BECAUSE YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HIM.
you dont want to be alone with him not because you are concerned about his gf being jealous....
but being with him alone reminds you that he is not yours.... and it hurts you.
do consider your intentions; dont be in denial.
Despite everythin.. He isn exactly great.. haha.. But still have soft spot for him.. But is quite true.. Coz don undo to others wat u don want others to do to u..
If mi.. I not processive.. But i did be really jealous if my bf go out wit his ex alone.. So..
Hmm.. But one thing for sure.. I won be the one askin bah.. If he wants.. Ok lor.. I think i will go..Haha.. I can't ans myself tis question also.. -
Nicely said.Originally posted by nuchio:this is what i think :
he doesnt mind and so does she...
the only who mind is you....... BECAUSE YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HIM.
you dont want to be alone with him not because you are concerned about his gf being jealous....
but being with him alone reminds you that he is not yours.... and it hurts you.
do consider your intentions; dont be in denial.
Just except the facts bravely and move on. Otherwise, some things may just go wrong... i.e.
1. you ended up secretly want to be his spare tire.
2. he has a change in heart and started two timing.
3. you can't take the emotional stress and starts to break them up somehow. -
Hmm.. For one.. I won't end up wantin to be his spare tyre coz.. Hmm.. CAn say his hurt towards mi is quite so deep tat i wouldn want to go back with him.. We quite exact opposites.. And i noe very well he isn the guy for mi.. Haha.. Hmm.. Mayb to mi he is lik tat.. But to others.. He much more considerate and carin.. So lucky her..Originally posted by aH_v:Nicely said.
Just except the facts bravely and move on. Otherwise, some things may just go wrong... i.e.
1. you ended up secretly want to be his spare tire.
2. he has a change in heart and started two timing.
3. you can't take the emotional stress and starts to break them up somehow.
2ndly.. Tis i can't ans.. But i doubt so bah.. He is the kinda once he made a decision.. He won't take back his words.. He is serious bt everythin he did.. N he is a very steadworthy person..
3rdly.. I may have soft spots for him.. If anythin.. I know i still will stand up and help him to a certain extend.. MOre than a friend.. But less than a bf kinda effort.. But then.. Tis i am really unable to do it.. Jus see the both of them tog.. Hmm.. My heart aches.. But then.. Jus ache.. I m in control.. haha.. -
Well girl, since you just want to catch up, and you're really afraid the girl will get jealous... then well, Befriend her!
Yea, if she becomes your friend, she'll have less inclination to believe that you're meeting her bf because you want to break them up or anything.
Of course, i don't think its wise to meet up all the time... maybe once or twice a month will allay her fears, and your need to catch-up as well.