Not a good conversationalist...
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Hmm, sometimes..correction, most of the times, me really got nothing to say to peeps..
seriously, even if i am alone with one gal, i just clamp up, even by right u noe in those kinda situation, u sarpose to chat a bit..
but i just gib monotonous ans..hmm somethings seriously wrong with me.. -
who was... practice lah... tok c o c k lor
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aiyoh, i talk cock, sekarli the other party gib me one weird look how?Originally posted by sgboy2004:who was... practice lah... tok c o c k lor
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Well, since you kinda know your problem is giving monotonous answer, next time don't give monotonous answers lor!
Try to talk more, give more details, and show interest in the other person by asking them questions too. Don't make the other party feel pai seh for appearing more interested in you than you are in them. -
just b yourself lah...if everyone toks, who listens?
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tok tok tok som ppl tink they talk very good coz most ppl listen to them tink they know everything can do everythin....until they met me............
i say NO means NO no need tok so much................
usually those who tok veri much are not sure what they want ......
4 mi wen my mind is made i no need to tok 1...just do it
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err, both parties not talking, so one must start the whole thing isnt it?Originally posted by sgboy2004:just b yourself lah...if everyone toks, who listens? -
hmm... just find something that's ard u and talk abt it lor...
that's what i do at time...
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hmm, must learn da art of conversation..in anyway, dont think anyone interested to listen what i gotta say anyway, like i am yandao or anything..i am not even funny...Originally posted by Rhonda:Well, since you kinda know your problem is giving monotonous answer, next time don't give monotonous answers lor! Try to talk more, give more details, and show interest in the other person by asking them questions too. Don't make the other party feel pai seh for appearing more interested in you than you are in them. 
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Only my humble opinion, me no shrink...Originally posted by laurence82:aiyoh, i talk cock, sekarli the other party gib me one weird look how?
Nothing wrong if they give you a weird look
(happened to me in 30s forum earlier tdy )
You not going to know the other persons 'frequency' until you open up
And once you do know, then you adjust accordingly
For example, if she's got nada sense of humour, than no witty remarks for they will go zooom into the waste paper basket..
Having a fixed set of conversation topics to start off helps (this works in work smalltalk with associates/clients 2) for example, try to read the news and start off a conversation with "wow, the situation in Southern Thailand is quite tense isn't it?" if she gives u a blank look than quickly shift to SG Idol or teletubbies or something.
Try to feel comfortable with yrself, you'll be fine (n OK Accepted!) -
hmm... just wondering... how do u usually talk to ur frens? ur buddies??Originally posted by laurence82:hmm, must learn da art of conversation..in anyway, dont think anyone interested to listen what i gotta say anyway, like i am yandao or anything..i am not even funny...
and, one dun have to be pretty or handsome to be a good conversationalist... -
hmmm....Originally posted by LeftBallBigger:Only my humble opinion, me no shrink...
Nothing wrong if they give you a weird look
(happened to me in 30s forum earlier tdy )
You not going to know the other persons 'frequency' until you open up
And once you do know, then you adjust accordingly
For example, if she's got nada sense of humour, than no witty remarks for they will go zooom into the waste paper basket..
Having a fixed set of conversation topics to start off helps (this works in work smalltalk with associates/clients 2) for example, try to read the news and start off a conversation with "wow, the situation in Southern Thailand is quite tense isn't it?" if she gives u a blank look than quickly shift to SG Idol or teletubbies or something.
Try to feel comfortable with yrself, you'll be fine (n OK Accepted!)
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hmm buddies? frens? dont really have anyway...Originally posted by coolger03:hmm... just wondering... how do u usually talk to ur frens? ur buddies??
and, one dun have to be pretty or handsome to be a good conversationalist...
not really on physique, i was also thinkin abt people who can be on the same frequency with me, or hold same ideas..actually not really a lot of people..
my frens in school are mostly people who go cheong, have bit of cash, different school of thoughts..
so mostly conversation just steer towards schoolwork or how is my day.. -
oh... even ur sec sch frens, JC/poly frens too?? hmm....Originally posted by laurence82:hmm buddies? frens? dont really have anyway...
not really on physique, i was also thinkin abt people who can be on the same frequency with me, or hold same ideas..actually not really a lot of people..
my frens in school are mostly people who go cheong, have bit of cash, different school of thoughts..
so mostly conversation just steer towards schoolwork or how is my day..
is it that u never open up to them?
that's why it's difficult to be gam with them?? -
seriously..i dont even noe whats my prob is..just noe that i dont really talk much, even when situations need it..Originally posted by coolger03:oh... even ur sec sch frens, JC/poly frens too?? hmm....
is it that u never open up to them?
that's why it's difficult to be gam with them?? -
hmm... but u do write well leh...Originally posted by laurence82:seriously..i dont even noe whats my prob is..just noe that i dont really talk much, even when situations need it..
u just need to open up a bit? -
guess so..sigh...Originally posted by coolger03:hmm... but u do write well leh...
u just need to open up a bit?
when look at the other party, dont noe what to say also, thats why just keep quiet... -
i have the same prob too.. & think its gettin worse.
The worst thk is i feel quite pissed now. Its like i feel some ppl deliberately kept quiet in my presence.
Today example:
I bump into 2 of my classmates (gals) in canteen today. Usually i jus eat alone, but since they saw me, i didnt wan to appear anti-social & sat with them .
So after sitting down, we all 3 were quiet..After a while, the 2gals started chatting with each other... BUt no one spoke a word to me
At the back of mind, i kept thinking.. If it was anyone other than me sitting there, they wld surely strike a conversation (out of courtesy at least)
It happens a lot of other times too. PPl jus keep quiet in my presence. Sometimes i tried to initate a small talk, but it will died down soon..
Anyway i am quite PISSED nw. I adopted this "Zipp my mouth" policy... if the other party is goin to keep quiet, i will jus zip my mouth entirely. -
Maybe you have a 'I am pissed look'? People are not comfortable talking to people who looks aggressive.Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:i have the same prob too.. & think its gettin worse.
The worst thk is i feel quite pissed now. Its like i feel some ppl deliberately kept quiet in my presence.
Today example:
I bump into 2 of my classmates (gals) in canteen today. Usually i jus eat alone, but since they saw me, i didnt wan to appear anti-social & sat with them .
So after sitting down, we all 3 were quiet..After a while, the 2gals started chatting with each other... BUt no one spoke a word to me
At the back of mind, i kept thinking.. If it was anyone other than me sitting there, they wld surely strike a conversation (out of courtesy at least)
It happens a lot of other times too. PPl jus keep quiet in my presence. Sometimes i tried to initate a small talk, but it will died down soon..
Anyway i am quite PISSED nw. I adopted this "Zipp my mouth" policy... if the other party is goin to keep quiet, i will jus zip my mouth entirely. -
You know, its kind of normal. Some people have nothing to say all the time. But er, generally I donÂ’t think its good. So, like what they sayÂ… practice!
I used to clamp up whenever someone calls me on the phone, especially a girl, cause of a bad exp with an ex (have you ever tried calling someone for 15 minutes, and there are 10 minutes of silence at least?). But eventually, after a few years, I got my confidence back and starting calling people again.
But sometimes if youÂ’re really tired, or the mood is just wrong for words, (Beautiful sunset, complete comfortable silence), then its alright if you donÂ’t say anything.
But remember not to overdo it and start talking non-stop whenever you see someone
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U should have taken the initiative to start a conversation cos they may be shy- talk abt recent events or S'pore Idols/ TCS shows.
Don't worry, the girls won't bite!
Just treat them like one of the guys.
Once u clam up, people will say u are anti-social. -
then it's time to make the 'technology' work for you lah...; use ur mobile phone to send an sms lor...Originally posted by laurence82:err, both parties not talking, so one must start the whole thing isnt it?
even though the distance is short, but if you think you could converse better via the short message, do try it. Better than sitting there and keeping quiet leh.. (very unlike you hor... tiko lau...
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try ASKING QUESTIONS... it may not be personal, at least not for a start.
show some concern... e.g. How's your day? How was class/work?
ASK OPEN QUESTIONS... general and objective enough for person to start talking.
if person clams up or give you monosyllabic answers, try to ask CLOSED QUESTIONS. eg.
Did you go the concert last night? Were you late for class this morning?
next step - you share your opinions, or experience.
example - yeah, last year when i was taking that class, that guy was tough on us too (share opinion). we had lotsa homework (share experience). sorry he gave you a bad grade (show sympathy).
few rules to remember... 1) dont get too personal and ask about people family history. 2) share your opinions, not force it down people's throats. 3) be yourself but do it bit by bit.... better be safe than sorry. not many people can accept you at one go.
see, not so difficult right? good luck ! -
hey... why did you sit with them and expect them to inititate conversation?
did you intrude... example, if you went to sit with them, did you say "can i sit here?" sometimes girls have things that they want to talk among themselves your presence make it awkward. it doesnt mean they dont welcome you; its just that they have something that others should not know... WERE YOU CONSIDERATE TO START WITH?
you can also inititate converstation, no need to wait. try these..
1. do you know a good sushi place? i am thinking of going there for dinner...
2. did you gals catch the move "whatever"? i heard its really scary...
3. how is your assignment/exam preparation coming along?
4. did you catch singapore idol last night? i like.....
5. what are you planning to do during the holidays?
communication is a skill. you need to practise and learn as you go along. dont be afraid to make mistakes. better now than later in life when you offend your boss or colleagues.
keep going !
good luck -
si tai jian..*kick tai jian butt*Originally posted by yunzhongzi:then it's time to make the 'technology' work for you lah...; use ur mobile phone to send an sms lor...
even though the distance is short, but if you think you could converse better via the short message, do try it. Better than sitting there and keeping quiet leh.. (very unlike you hor... tiko lau... )