Make sure he/she is not leading you on.
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Guys, my courtship to her had failed and we ended up being close fren. I'm afraid after all the confessions i made, i would lose her but i didn't.
She told me she likes me before and even now too. But she like what she's doing now, focusing on her studies; she can't handle both r/s and studies together probably she's just 16. I accepted the reason of cuz instead of keeping me guessing.
She didn't meant to lead me on, she was sorry about this. I accepted. Since i knew the answer now, i'm so happy things settled so sweetly.
Now i hope i can be her close friend as i used to be.
So guys, next time when you're courting someone, make sure he/she is not LEADING you on.
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Hmmm I wonder how to make sure? By asking her or by ESP?Originally posted by paradox86:Guys, my courtship to her had failed and we ended up being close fren. I'm afraid after all the confessions i made, i would lose her but i didn't.
She told me she likes me before and even now too. But she like what she's doing now, focusing on her studies; she can't handle both r/s and studies together probably she's just 16. I accepted the reason of cuz instead of keeping me guessing.
She didn't meant to lead me on, she was sorry about this. I accepted. Since i knew the answer now, i'm so happy things settled so sweetly.
Now i hope i can be her close friend as i used to be.
So guys, next time when you're courting someone, make sure he/she is not LEADING you on. 
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haiz.. without directly asking or something.. it's pretty hard to 'make sure'..
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Yeah, i asked her. she told me hope our relationship as close friend won't be affected due to all these. I'm glad to.. no more guessing of what she's thinking anymoreOriginally posted by pete98:Hmmm I wonder how to make sure? By asking her or by ESP?
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At first, she thought i'll hate her and sort of stuffs. Told me to call her if i want to, if not oso nvm. She'll understand if i don't wanna talk to her ever.Originally posted by risou:haiz.. without directly asking or something.. it's pretty hard to 'make sure'..
I told her no lor, hate you for what. You made things clear now, i move on. I told her to treat each other like we used to be as close friend. At last, i told her to call me when she's free and i'm not avoiding her or smth.
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Sorry to poke fun at your misery. I am at no better situation than you cos I am going to confess to my own'she' soon. It might be too soon since we only went on 2 date before but I see no sense in delaying. We known each other for less than a year but are rather close. So I hope that even if the confession fails we remains as friends. Now I just wonder what would be a good place to confess to her, hmmm?
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I would suggest you go out with her more often to get to know her better before popping up the question.Originally posted by pete98:Sorry to poke fun at your misery. I am at no better situation than you cos I am going to confess to my own'she' soon. It might be too soon since we only went on 2 date before but I see no sense in delaying. We known each other for less than a year but are rather close. So I hope that even if the confession fails we remains as friends. Now I just wonder what would be a good place to confess to her, hmmm?
I confessed my feelings to my "she" after i gathered all my guts and finally i decided to tell her. Results came out negative and we ended up crying together.
You've got to know her very well .. my "she" likes me but she don't want to get into a relationship because she wanna focus on her studies. So i rather she likes me and have the close friend relationship and not forcing her into a r/s.
Yes you see no sense of delaying, i thought so too but afterall you will realised you shouldn't have confess to her.
Worst part (tht happened to me) was that some girls will like you and lead you on. Later she will come telling you she doesn't meant it.
So since you are close with her, i would suggest you stay at where you are now. Take things slowly, she'll not be snatch away or what right so take ur time instead of having the "Keep on wanting her mode on" <--- (I was lidat) -
well, i gotta agree wif the advice... really get to noe her betta... there may be sparks now & mutual attraction... but how long will dat last is a diff story... u gotta give time for the both of u to really get to noe each other to another level... at least by den, u r confirmed of ur feelings for each other...Originally posted by paradox86:I would suggest you go out with her more often to get to know her better before popping up the question.
I confessed my feelings to my "she" after i gathered all my guts and finally i decided to tell her. Results came out negative and we ended up crying together.
You've got to know her very well .. my "she" likes me but she don't want to get into a relationship because she wanna focus on her studies. So i rather she likes me and have the close friend relationship and not forcing her into a r/s.
Yes you see no sense of delaying, i thought so too but afterall you will realised you shouldn't have confess to her.
Worst part (tht happened to me) was that some girls will like you and lead you on. Later she will come telling you she doesn't meant it.
So since you are close with her, i would suggest you stay at where you are now. Take things slowly, she'll not be snatch away or what right so take ur time instead of having the "Keep on wanting her mode on" <--- (I was lidat)
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Ermmm I'm not asking her to go steady with me. I just want her to knows that I really like her. This way all my action would not be mistaken for plain friendship. You guys do realize some girls are not leading guys on purposely, they are nice to the guy becos hes nice to her. She think hes just being friendly with her since he never mention anything concrete to her about why hes nice to her. So after a few months of being close friends with a guy, you think she can just fall in love with him? No, a human mindset cannot just switch over like that(except in movies perhaps). So personally I rather confess I have feelings for her early and at least there would be any mistaken ideas by either parties.
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"I'm not asking her to go steady with me. I just want her to knows that I really like her".Originally posted by pete98:Ermmm I'm not asking her to go steady with me. I just want her to knows that I really like her. This way all my action would not be mistaken for plain friendship. You guys do realize some girls are not leading guys on purposely, they are nice to the guy becos hes nice to her. She think hes just being friendly with her since he never mention anything concrete to her about why hes nice to her. So after a few months of being close friends with a guy, you think she can just fall in love with him? No, a human mindset cannot just switch over like that(except in movies perhaps). So personally I rather confess I have feelings for her early and at least there would be any mistaken ideas by either parties.
Bro, i've the same mindset as u too totally, thts to let her know i like her. But so what if we tell them, things will change really; at least for me.
Yes, she'll know you're fond of her but whatever you do later on; she'll think you're courting her. What i am trying to imply is she'll eventually know tht u like her. I made the wrong move by telling her that i like her just after a few mths of "close friend" and i really regretted.
Right now after all my confession telling her i like/love her and so on. Things went back to "close friend" and i decided to work from there. She told me no pressure from there instead of "yi tou zai jing qu"
Don't ever tell her i'll wait for you and sort of stuffs for that will only stress her up when she's gonna have her exams.
Right now the answer she gave me was, i know you're sad, u can go ahead and blame me if you want; i'll understand if u dunwanna talk to me ever. she just don't wanna hurt me and she's really no choice. As for what she meant by have no choice i've got no idea.
Hope what i've written helps -
well, some guys are nice to girls with just the intention of being frenly oso...
so hard to tell...
want to ask I very scared...
how???
i.c.y -
I'm sure girls will sense the diff between friendly and liking. If a guy keep asking you out and treating u very nicely, tht would be friendly + likeness too. At least this is what i felt. Know him longer to get better judgement instead of keep on wanting to let him know ya feelings yea?Originally posted by icyprincess:well, some guys are nice to girls with just the intention of being frenly oso...
so hard to tell...
want to ask I very scared...
how???
i.c.y
I must say even if love is one-sided; it's still love. Love can never be degraded unless you intended it to be. Do you expect him to be grateful or thankful to u? I'd be deluding myself if I tell you I don't expect anything in return. If love could be bought with money, it'll be tagged as cheap love. If love is to landed into such pathetic plight, then I suppose don't ever love unless it's flows right from the bottoms of your heart. Why make things too difficult for yourself? -
Originally posted by paradox86:"I'm not asking her to go steady with me. I just want her to knows that I really like her".
What's the point of letting her know? Besides, lets not forget that girls can read body languages very well. Most of the time there's no need to say, trust me, she already knows. Saying it out will only make it awkward.
Bro, i've the same mindset as u too totally, thts to let her know i like her. But so what if we tell them, things will change really; at least for me.
Yes, she'll know you're fond of her but whatever you do later on; she'll think you're courting her. What i am trying to imply is she'll eventually know tht u like her. I made the wrong move by telling her that i like her just after a few mths of "close friend" and i really regretted.
Yea man. What would you do if a girl told you she like you, but just want to be friends?
Right now after all my confession telling her i like/love her and so on. Things went back to "close friend" and i decided to work from there. She told me no pressure from there instead of "yi tou zai jing qu"
I've been in this situation, though not exactly identical. Start from being close friends, and if she eventually feels anything, she knows you'll be there. But personally i don't like waiting, its like being her spare tyre or something.
Don't ever tell her i'll wait for you and sort of stuffs for that will only stress her up when she's gonna have her exams.
Right now the answer she gave me was, i know you're sad, u can go ahead and blame me if you want; i'll understand if u dunwanna talk to me ever. she just don't wanna hurt me and she's really no choice. As for what she meant by have no choice i've got no idea.
It means no choice, i cannot go stead with you. Sorry. The time's not right, or you're not attractive enough i guess...
Hope what i've written helps -
As a girl, maybe you can read his body language. Girls can read the most subtle actions that the guy sends out.Originally posted by icyprincess:well, some guys are nice to girls with just the intention of being frenly oso...
so hard to tell...
want to ask I very scared...
how???
i.c.y
That's why girls have these... "Spider sense" (Forgot what they call it, wait.. 6th Sense... yea), and its so accurate.
And sometimes, you just can't tell... so each relationship/crush is a gamble~ -
there are times when he treats me very nicely. like yesterday. then both of us will get very very busy, no time to see each other, i will miss him, then start to wonder if he really likes me. then i will start to argue wif him, get into cold war, then he will sense i m angry then he will start being nice again. the cycle will repeat.Originally posted by paradox86:I'm sure girls will sense the diff between friendly and liking. If a guy keep asking you out and treating u very nicely, tht would be friendly + likeness too. At least this is what i felt. Know him longer to get better judgement instead of keep on wanting to let him know ya feelings yea?
I must say even if love is one-sided; it's still love. Love can never be degraded unless you intended it to be. Do you expect him to be grateful or thankful to u? I'd be deluding myself if I tell you I don't expect anything in return. If love could be bought with money, it'll be tagged as cheap love. If love is to landed into such pathetic plight, then I suppose don't ever love unless it's flows right from the bottoms of your heart. Why make things too difficult for yourself?
i dun love him just bcos he buys me things and always treats me to dinners and stuff like dat. i dun even want those. all i m asking is for him to show that he cares about me. and yea, I have thought this thru and I think I will just give him more time ba...
i.c.y -
i will miss him, then start to wonder if he really likes meOriginally posted by icyprincess:there are times when he treats me very nicely. like yesterday. then both of us will get very very busy, no time to see each other, i will miss him, then start to wonder if he really likes me. then i will start to argue wif him, get into cold war, then he will sense i m angry then he will start being nice again. the cycle will repeat.
i dun love him just bcos he buys me things and always treats me to dinners and stuff like dat. i dun even want those. all i m asking is for him to show that he cares about me. and yea, I have thought this thru and I think I will just give him more time ba...
i.c.y
Yup, no doubt we will feel this way cuz he/she was once really close to u and out of a sudden he/she is like neglecting you. You'll start to think whether if he likes me/what am i to him.
yep, give him more time and for u as well; all the best. jiayou -
Originally posted by paradox86:
thanks for the well wishes.
[b] i will miss him, then start to wonder if he really likes me
Yup, no doubt we will feel this way cuz he/she was once really close to u and out of a sudden he/she is like neglecting you. You'll start to think whether if he likes me/what am i to him.
yep, give him more time and for u as well; all the best. jiayou [/b]
what is meant to be will be.
i will just get on with my life. i cherish my independence and freedom as well
i.c.y -
Originally posted by _Aaron_:
What's the point of letting her know? Besides, lets not forget that girls can read body languages very well. Most of the time there's no need to say, trust me, she already knows. Saying it out will only make it awkward.
Agree with this
Yea man. What would you do if a girl told you she like you, but just want to be friends?
Yup, since i told her i like her and since she can't get into a relationship due to her parents. What more can i say except being her close friends ?
I've been in this situation, though not exactly identical. Start from being close friends, and if she eventually feels anything, she knows you'll be there. But personally i don't like waiting, its like being her spare tyre or something.
I've push away the thoughts of waiting for her just yesterdae after all those confession had came to an end. Totally agree with ur "she eventually feels anything, she knows you'll be there" .. cold/hot treatment will take place i suppose.
It means no choice, i cannot go stead with you. Sorry. The time's not right, or you're not attractive enough i guess...
I can't even talk long on her with phone for i heard her mum screaming at her behind for using the phone, i hear liao oso sian and she can't come out frequently. Come'on, O's lvl is over.. This is the reason why she don't wanna or can't get into a r/s cuz communication is very limited
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Strict family ..
That kinda sucks.
so i guess one of the main reasons would be family holding her back... grr, probably one of the things you can do nothing about.
Good friends are good... girlfriends come by once a while, by good friends come by once a lifetime
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something similiar happen onto me recently too. told 'she' tat i like her. i was in a mixed situation cos of our working relationship. it good for me to sort out my personnel feeling before i mixed it into business.
thou she told me she cant accept me now due to the fact tat we are colleague and becos she doesnt wan others to gossip bout us neither did she reject me straight to the face. but now we are still good frds, good working colleague n good partying couple.
but i find it weird sometime, she hates ppls saying bout us. but she still go ard creating rumours bout us.. weird girl.. sometime really left me puzzle if she does like me or not. but i noe tat she has a sad memory which she still cant let go. its fine with me, maybe during this period of time, i cant get to know her better and gain her trust tat i will be able to bring her out of tat sad event.
maybe frds or ppls whom reading this might find tat i'm stupid or wat. but den... all is up to individual..
If a girl/boy is out to lead u on, but if u are sincerely and willing to be patience towards the other party. u nvr noe tat one fine day, he/she might realise tat u're actually the one for him/her. -
Okay.Originally posted by paradox86:Guys, my courtship to her had failed and we ended up being close fren. I'm afraid after all the confessions i made, i would lose her but i didn't.
She told me she likes me before and even now too. But she like what she's doing now, focusing on her studies; she can't handle both r/s and studies together probably she's just 16. I accepted the reason of cuz instead of keeping me guessing.
She didn't meant to lead me on, she was sorry about this. I accepted. Since i knew the answer now, i'm so happy things settled so sweetly.
Now i hope i can be her close friend as i used to be.
So guys, next time when you're courting someone, make sure he/she is not LEADING you on.
Point taken. -
I asked before leh
U like me or Not, quick sez!
The folly of youth!
FeowFeowOriginally posted by icyprincess:well, some guys are nice to girls with just the intention of being frenly oso...
so hard to tell...
want to ask I very scared...
how???
i.c.y -
I answered before also leh
I said I like her very much
She said i joking with you only leh
Sibeh paiseh.