Shes questioning...
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Recently, she often question why I am so nice to her and why I am spending so much time with her. I always answer her in a joking manner about she being a close friend, etc. Should I confess or do I still wait and see. Is she trying to force a confession out of me or she really can't tell I am trying to court her? How do you know when to bring a RS to another level?
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Albert Einstien once said,
" Make things as simple as possible, not simpler"
following that, what you all needs is a confession.
don`t worry abt the results from it..
u nv know she might be waitnin for you to pop the question so that she can be w you
good luck man... -
It's time to confess, the result will be positive for sure. I've been thru this recently. But after you confess, yea she'll start to like you and vice versa..Originally posted by pete98:Recently, she often question why I am so nice to her and why I am spending so much time with her. I always answer her in a joking manner about she being a close friend, etc. Should I confess or do I still wait and see. Is she trying to force a confession out of me or she really can't tell I am trying to court her? How do you know when to bring a RS to another level?
Here it is, ask yourself; will this feeling of liking last for now only or it can be kept this way in the near future ? To the ger i knew, she likes me alot and asked me why i'm suddenly so close/nice to her. I told her i like her, she accepted and was very happy i finally told her. After some time, feeling faded.. o well.
That will depends whether the feelings will fade after that. Holding hands, feeling secure, being excited, wanting to kiss her, wishing to be in her arms, talking with her, looking into her eyes, listening to her words... etc. what is love? love is what that remains after all of these have been taken away
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Feeling fade? Hmmm sometimes my feeling for her is so strong that it affects my sleep. But other times my feelings for her is just a sense of care and concern for a soulmate. The magnitude of my feelings is rather inconsistent but its constantly there. Is this what being in love is all about? I won't say I can't live without her but I do admit that I do prefer to have her around when I am alive.Originally posted by paradox86:It's time to confess, the result will be positive for sure. I've been thru this recently. But after you confess, yea she'll start to like you and vice versa..
Here it is, ask yourself; will this feeling of liking last for now only or it can be kept this way in the near future ? To the ger i knew, she likes me alot and asked me why i'm suddenly so close/nice to her. I told her i like her, she accepted and was very happy i finally told her. After some time, feeling faded.. o well.
That will depends whether the feelings will fade after that. Holding hands, feeling secure, being excited, wanting to kiss her, wishing to be in her arms, talking with her, looking into her eyes, listening to her words... etc. what is love? love is what that remains after all of these have been taken away -
yea.. she would call me up in the middle of the nite and told me she can't slp and etc.. so u decide.. which one u tink is the strongest ? Showing her sense of care for a soulmate or the feelings is just diff frm being close friend ?Originally posted by pete98:Feeling fade? Hmmm sometimes my feeling for her is so strong that it affects my sleep. But other times my feelings for her is just a sense of care and concern for a soulmate. The magnitude of my feelings is rather inconsistent but its constantly there. Is this what being in love is all about? I won't say I can't live without her but I do admit that I do prefer to have her around when I am alive.
Choose wisely for when later you'll end up with a feeling trying to be strong, but da feelings went numb.. and love does not exist at tht point of time.
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how long has u tried to court her?
and what did u do when you tried to court her?
for girls, it is always not clear what your intentions are until you tell her strait from your mouth what you want wif her.
i m having the same problem as well...
i.c.y -
Well she never call me(maybe cos shes in Malaysia). Personally I don't have a close friend before so its kinda of hard for me to judge.Originally posted by paradox86:yea.. she would call me up in the middle of the nite and told me she can't slp and etc.. so u decide.. which one u tink is the strongest ? Showing her sense of care for a soulmate or the feelings is just diff frm being close friend ?
Choose wisely for when later you'll end up with a feeling try to be strong, but da feelings went numb.. and love does not exist at tht point of time. -
ic, thn confess to her is all u can do for now.. after which later things will be how she'll react after ur confession. telling more personal things to u.. sharing her probs.. etc.. frm there u'll koe the trust is there at least.. slowly.. see how things go..Originally posted by pete98:Well she never call me(maybe cos shes in Malaysia). Personally I don't have a close friend before so its kinda of hard for me to judge. -
Ermmm I am by default a rather shy person so the courtship might not be too obvious initially. I known her for abt 8 months but only asked her out twice for the past 2 month. I been visiting her workplace as often as I can for the past 1 month (2-3times/wk) since we work in the same building. I sms her almost every day and recently I start calling her hp almost every nite. I help her find infor on whatever she show a interest in. I take note of things she likes and during conversation talks about them. She has a almost identical sis working in the same building who almost everybody mistaken for her. I shown her that I was able to differential between her sis and her base on their different body language. Basically I just show her care and concern whenever I could.Originally posted by icyprincess:how long has u tried to court her?
and what did u do when you tried to court her?
for girls, it is always not clear what your intentions are until you tell her strait from your mouth what you want wif her.
i m having the same problem as well...
i.c.y -
Dun wait anymore.. confess.. u have a chance.. u wouldnt want to rue over ur mistake of not doing so.. if u r shy.. there r other avenues.. emails.. letters.. letters can be romantic so can be an added plus.. good luck..
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The reasons most girls will like to ask these kind of questions is because they do sense something and their curiousity just want to confirm it.Originally posted by pete98:Recently, she often question why I am so nice to her and why I am spending so much time with her. I always answer her in a joking manner about she being a close friend, etc. Should I confess or do I still wait and see. Is she trying to force a confession out of me or she really can't tell I am trying to court her? How do you know when to bring a RS to another level?
Not that I'm saying that you will get rejected but, if you are prepared to face that, why not tell her. Also, try not to answer these kinda questions jokingly too often if shows that you have no confident in yourself.
Anyhow, you will know the time to bring the RS to another level when the time is ripe. -
hmmm.. i've been thru this recently... U see.. i broke of with my ex earlier... And there was this guy who spends time with me all the time, acc me thru the worst, treat me very nice. And when i ask him the same qns this gal was asking you. He sort of like makes a confession. he says he's waiting for me me to heal.. he will check on me, he will spend his time with me... he will wait but he will not rush. to me.. at that point of time, it really warms my heart. I had good feelings about him and after that, it just keep getting stronger.
We are together for a month now and we are still as sweet as ever.... Good luck to u dude... -
If you are sure of your feelings for her, I think it will be best to tell her the truth. Telling her that you are both just close frens might make her think you do not see her as a potential gf...so if you do this for too long, she might choose another guy if there happens to be another person pursuing her as well. I wish I have her courage to ask, have been wondering whether this guy who has been asking me out for a few times has some other intention towards me or if he is just being friendly.
i.c.y -
Ok I will confess to her the next time we go out. I rather prefer to tell her face to face cos I feel that is the most sincere way. Hmmm wonder where is the best place to do it. Hopefully I can arrange for something romantic. No matter hows the outcome, 'a man gotta do what a man gotta do'. Thanks for all the response.
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she is a lucky girl thenOriginally posted by pete98:Ok I will confess to her the next time we go out. I rather prefer to tell her face to face cos I feel that is the most sincere way. Hmmm wonder where is the best place to do it. Hopefully I can arrange for something romantic. No matter hows the outcome, 'a man gotta do what a man gotta do'. Thanks for all the response.
i.c.y -
Not to pour cold water..
But i remember 2 years ago when i did this exact thing i got hurt very badly...
And now its returning to haunt me...
My story is here at http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=104086 ... but that's sidetracking.
Just remember to aim for the skies, but expect to hit the clouds. It'll help to cushion the fall if it comes~ -
It is alright to let her know u like her so she don't view u as a good fren.
Ask her whether she is dating other guys.
Also ask her how she find u, whether she enjoys going out with u.
Don't rush & ask her to be yr steady yet.
Date some more first -
To be honest with you...I don't see any signs of courting from all of the things that you do. It's more of being a very good friend to her. Unless she has a serious crush on you, it's quite impossible for a good friend to become a boyfriend.Originally posted by pete98:Ermmm I am by default a rather shy person so the courtship might not be too obvious initially. I known her for abt 8 months but only asked her out twice for the past 2 month. I been visiting her workplace as often as I can for the past 1 month (2-3times/wk) since we work in the same building. I sms her almost every day and recently I start calling her hp almost every nite. I help her find infor on whatever she show a interest in. I take note of things she likes and during conversation talks about them. She has a almost identical sis working in the same building who almost everybody mistaken for her. I shown her that I was able to differential between her sis and her base on their different body language. Basically I just show her care and concern whenever I could.
Let's assume that good friends are apples, and potential boyfriends are pears. Girls like both apples and pears, but they only want pears. The difference between apples and pears is the level of attraction between them. Girls are not attracted towards apples. They only like them as a friend. Get it?
Well...there's nothing much you can do, since her impression of you has already been formed. Pray hard that she does have some feelings for you, and that things would go smoothly! -
Originally posted by verloren:
Hmmm what is an act of courtship? Flowers? Poems? Promises to love her forever(or until breakup)? Doesn't most RS starts from friendship? People don't just go out and love someone right? Such RS(crush) most properly wouldn't last.
To be honest with you...I don't see any signs of courting from all of the things that you do. It's more of being a very good friend to her. Unless she has a serious crush on you, it's quite impossible for a good friend to become a boyfriend.
Let's assume that good friends are apples, and potential boyfriends are pears. Girls like both apples and pears, but they only want pears. The difference between apples and pears is the [b]level of attraction between them. Girls are not attracted towards apples. They only like them as a friend. Get it?
Well...there's nothing much you can do, since her impression of you has already been formed. Pray hard that she does have some feelings for you, and that things would go smoothly! [/b]
The confession is thus the most important part to sort out whos the apples and whos the pears. If anything is said, apples will always only be apples. And even the pears might become apples in the end.
Theres no idea what kind of impression she has until I confess. No need to pray(freethinker) since whats start out from nothing will only end up with nothing. -
You'll know when she allows you to grab her neh nehOriginally posted by pete98:Recently, she often question why I am so nice to her and why I am spending so much time with her. I always answer her in a joking manner about she being a close friend, etc. Should I confess or do I still wait and see. Is she trying to force a confession out of me or she really can't tell I am trying to court her? How do you know when to bring a RS to another level? -
u shouldnt have told her u treat her as a close frd. since u say u were joking, why dont u joke back and tell her cos she is ur gf? see wat her response.Originally posted by pete98:Recently, she often question why I am so nice to her and why I am spending so much time with her. I always answer her in a joking manner about she being a close friend, etc. Should I confess or do I still wait and see. Is she trying to force a confession out of me or she really can't tell I am trying to court her? How do you know when to bring a RS to another level?
after hearing tat u just treat her as a close frd.. she might just see u as a close frd. -
yes, telling face to face is always better than any other media of communication.Originally posted by pete98:Ok I will confess to her the next time we go out. I rather prefer to tell her face to face cos I feel that is the most sincere way. Hmmm wonder where is the best place to do it. Hopefully I can arrange for something romantic. No matter hows the outcome, 'a man gotta do what a man gotta do'. Thanks for all the response.
i did a wrg thing when i told her over the phone. i wanted to meet her but she wasnt free and keep pestering me to tell her bout it. so i told her. she sound happy and happy avoiding the qns to be together. okay, thou she doesnt reject or does reject me but now we still good frds and we still a pair of unofficial bf-gf. haha. cos i noe she still has something burried in her heart which she still cant release. i rather she put down the emotion barrier and be with me, rather than be with me with an emotion barrier inside her and end up break-up like her previous few un-successful r/s. -
Originally posted by W3s Br0wn:You'll know when she allows you to grab her neh neh
The best response even!!! direct and to the point -
get to know more abt her 1st.. it seems u two didnt date tt much often...
do u know wad she likes most? do u noe abt her past? how many bfs she had and y they all broke up? its good tt u know all tis so that u'll see wda kinda girl she is and decide whether u'll make the same mistakes agn...
its not impt to bother whether she likes u or not if she question.. becos different pple works differently and its not possible to give a correct conclusion here... so juz do it when u tink its the rite time.. but i tink its still not the right time now.. becos thr's tis lack of substance in both of ur relationship..
work more on it first b4 rushing into it if not i can foresee arguments in future...
juz my advice is to haf more foresight in relationship.. dun rush into it becos u wan it.. but tink if it'll last foreva... -
Hmmm, despite limited dating we chatted with each other quite often becos we share the same workplace. I knows what food/drinks she likes and a rough idea about her taste in clothing. I knows who she gets along with in her family and also who she usually hang out with. She have no bf currently and no real RS in the past despite several suitors. Shes very friendly and was a bit of a chiongster in the past. Currently she have no close friends becos they have all lost contact. I knows shes afraid of cold and love swimming. Shes thinking of further studies and she worked in 5-6 jobs before. I know some of her body dimension like height, waist and footsize. Personally I knows quite a bit of her. I can even read some of her body language to differential between she and her almost identical sister. Its amazing how much you can learn from 8 months of chatting and 2 dates.Originally posted by pescar:get to know more abt her 1st.. it seems u two didnt date tt much often...
do u know wad she likes most? do u noe abt her past? how many bfs she had and y they all broke up? its good tt u know all tis so that u'll see wda kinda girl she is and decide whether u'll make the same mistakes agn...
its not impt to bother whether she likes u or not if she question.. becos different pple works differently and its not possible to give a correct conclusion here... so juz do it when u tink its the rite time.. but i tink its still not the right time now.. becos thr's tis lack of substance in both of ur relationship..
work more on it first b4 rushing into it if not i can foresee arguments in future...
juz my advice is to haf more foresight in relationship.. dun rush into it becos u wan it.. but tink if it'll last foreva...
Far as I can tell I am ready and since I am geting a bad feeling I might be dragging the whole thing too long. It time for me to take action. I prefer something conclusive now before it affects my life any further. I am not expecting anything to last forever cos of the no. of marriage breakups nowadays but I would like to start something and try to make things lasted.