anyone tell me what to do???????????????
-
Im 18 this year and i just completed my A level.Last year when i was in jc1 i knew this girl from my school online.She was sort of attracted to me before she know me and so she initiated knowing me online.When we were still friends she did alot of stuff to show that she like me.After 1 month as friends we got together.
At first it was all sweet and nice,like every relationship.But as time passed by we started to quarrel,till the point we quarrel almost everyday.Mostly its me that started the quarrel.We always quarrel about
1.her clothes.she likes to wear skimpy clothes that zaogeng easily.so im not happy about it and ask her not to wear clothes like that.but she thinks its no big deal.
2.her friends.how she always put her friends in the 1st place.like sometimes we arrange to go out but she will later say she going out with her friends and cancel our date.
3.her sms.how she takes very long to sms me.like she saw my sms but she does not reply immediately but only reply later when she feel like it.maybe this is stupid to argue about?
4.she being sociable with other guys and like to join extra activities.she will be very friendly to her guy friends.like always joking around with them.and she likes to join alot of activities that will know alot of new people.i think if a couple is attached they shouldnt do things that will make the other party angry.since she know i will not be happy but she dont care and still do it.
5.she knowing guys online.guys message her in wholivesnearyou.com and she gives them her msn and then even her number.she even auto message one of them.she also adds guys that add her in her friendster that are not her friends.
6.When i ask her go out she always give reasons like i ask her out only on that day and her parents dont allow then never go out.She also say its troublesome for her to go out cause still need to prepare all those.But i dont hear her saying all that when going out with her friends.Though its true her parents are strict with her.
We always breakup and then patchback due to all these reasons.Until till august this year when we broke up and she say she want to take a break to concentrate on her As and we solve our problems after As.She promise to accompany me after As cause im going army soon.Though i told her we breakup and dont contact anymore.During that period of time we really never contact each other much.The day before the last day of As she ask me if im free the next day but i say not sure.But not that day she never ask me out.And she never ask me out on the next 2 days till its 3 days after As then she ask me out.She never ask me out after As cause she got class outing and the other days she went out with her friends.So i never agree to go out with her as i feel she only ask me out when she's free.After that a few days then it happen again,when she asked me out only when she never go out with her friends.
So do you think im being ridiculous to mind all these things?Or its normal for a guy to mind. -
Originally posted by spacesurf:Im 18 this year and i just completed my A level.Last year when i was in jc1 i knew this girl from my school online.She was sort of attracted to me before she know me and so she initiated knowing me online.When we were still friends she did alot of stuff to show that she like me.After 1 month as friends we got together.
At first it was all sweet and nice,like every relationship.But as time passed by we started to quarrel,till the point we quarrel almost everyday.Mostly its me that started the quarrel.We always quarrel about
Initial starts to relationships are usually sweet...
1.her clothes.she likes to wear skimpy clothes that zaogeng easily.so im not happy about it and ask her not to wear clothes like that.but she thinks its no big deal.
If she's been used to this, it becomes a habit. Not to mention if all her clothes are like this, changing all of them will take quite a hefty sum of money. You know how many clothes females need to have...
2.her friends.how she always put her friends in the 1st place.like sometimes we arrange to go out but she will later say she going out with her friends and cancel our date.
You obviously rank below her friends. She's either thinking that
1) Her friends will be around for longer than you; or
2) She's having more fun with her friends, than with you.
3.her sms.how she takes very long to sms me.like she saw my sms but she does not reply immediately but only reply later when she feel like it.maybe this is stupid to argue about?
Can you be sure that she saw your sms, but don't reply immediately? Anyway, this is normal for some people.
4.she being sociable with other guys and like to join extra activities.she will be very friendly to her guy friends.like always joking around with them.and she likes to join alot of activities that will know alot of new people.i think if a couple is attached they shouldnt do things that will make the other party angry.since she know i will not be happy but she dont care and still do it.
She's a social butterfly~ She wants to know as many people as she can, so that she can have more friends, and maybe more future boyfriends to choose from. However, she may just enjoy knowing more people, and just want to have lots of fun when she can.
If she knows you're not happy and she still does it ... then maybe its time to not let yourself be unhappy.
5.she knowing guys online.guys message her in wholivesnearyou.com and she gives them her msn and then even her number.she even auto message one of them.she also adds guys that add her in her friendster that are not her friends.
Whoa. Seems like she really wants to know lots of people. The friendster part is normal, but giving number easily ... is another thing to be wary of. She's not treating the relationship with respect.
6.When i ask her go out she always give reasons like i ask her out only on that day and her parents dont allow then never go out.She also say its troublesome for her to go out cause still need to prepare all those.But i dont hear her saying all that when going out with her friends.Though its true her parents are strict with her.
Same as 2).
We always breakup and then patchback due to all these reasons.Until till august this year when we broke up and she say she want to take a break to concentrate on her As and we solve our problems after As.She promise to accompany me after As cause im going army soon.Though i told her we breakup and dont contact anymore.During that period of time we really never contact each other much.The day before the last day of As she ask me if im free the next day but i say not sure.But not that day she never ask me out.And she never ask me out on the next 2 days till its 3 days after As then she ask me out.She never ask me out after As cause she got class outing and the other days she went out with her friends.So i never agree to go out with her as i feel she only ask me out when she's free.After that a few days then it happen again,when she asked me out only when she never go out with her friends.
So do you think im being ridiculous to mind all these things?Or its normal for a guy to mind.
No its not ridiculous to mind all these things. The ridiculous thing is that you're still in a relationship with her!
Look at it this way, she doesn't treat you like a boyfriend at all. She doesnÂ’t care about this relationship. She's obviously making use of you as emotional support when she needs it, and you rank below her friends.
The reason why she's still holding on to this relationship is not important, and i don't want to guess. But why are you holding on?
Please move on, i do not see a future for you with this girl. -
1) Some girls just look simply too good for thier own clothes, to the extent it makes one feel its skimpy, but yet regular to the one wearing it. You should feel lucky you have one attention catcher of a gf.Originally posted by spacesurf:We always quarrel about
1.her clothes.she likes to wear skimpy clothes that zaogeng easily.so im not happy about it and ask her not to wear clothes like that.but she thinks its no big deal.
2.her friends.how she always put her friends in the 1st place.like sometimes we arrange to go out but she will later say she going out with her friends and cancel our date.
3.her sms.how she takes very long to sms me.like she saw my sms but she does not reply immediately but only reply later when she feel like it.maybe this is stupid to argue about?
4.she being sociable with other guys and like to join extra activities.she will be very friendly to her guy friends.like always joking around with them.and she likes to join alot of activities that will know alot of new people.i think if a couple is attached they shouldnt do things that will make the other party angry.since she know i will not be happy but she dont care and still do it.
5.she knowing guys online.guys message her in wholivesnearyou.com and she gives them her msn and then even her number.she even auto message one of them.she also adds guys that add her in her friendster that are not her friends.
6.When i ask her go out she always give reasons like i ask her out only on that day and her parents dont allow then never go out.She also say its troublesome for her to go out cause still need to prepare all those.But i dont hear her saying all that when going out with her friends.Though its true her parents are strict with her.
We always breakup and then patchback due to all these reasons.Until till august this year when we broke up and she say she want to take a break to concentrate on her As and we solve our problems after As.She promise to accompany me after As cause im going army soon.Though i told her we breakup and dont contact anymore.During that period of time we really never contact each other much.The day before the last day of As she ask me if im free the next day but i say not sure.But not that day she never ask me out.And she never ask me out on the next 2 days till its 3 days after As then she ask me out.She never ask me out after As cause she got class outing and the other days she went out with her friends.So i never agree to go out with her as i feel she only ask me out when she's free.After that a few days then it happen again,when she asked me out only when she never go out with her friends.
So do you think im being ridiculous to mind all these things?Or its normal for a guy to mind.
2) It shows her commitment is not in the place you most expect it to be. It makes you feel uneasy and left out.
3) I make it a point to reply my dear's sms asap, but really sometimes the situation does not allow me. The same goes for my dear too. Some things just gotta give and take.
4) As in 2), make a check of both her's and your commitment level to this r/s.
5) See 2) and 4). I guess this has something to do with this generation of young people getting more wired.
6) Like in 3), give and take.
From your last para, it seems this r/s is more one sided. Its good to know that one of you truly wants to commit from the way you put this post. You really need a deep conversation with her these days. Don't drag. Good chances only come once in life. -
some girls juz cannot help it but flash abit here and there... well i cant say its normal becos i myself cant stand it.. perhaps talk to her more seriously abt it and dun let it past till its solved..
abt her giving numbers to guys tt she duno, tt is seriously an act not to be forgiven... she's not thinking of u when she does tt.. she didnt manage to put u in her mind when she did all tis.. wad does tis mean? she's treating tis relationship as a game.. u're juz one bf tt she's interested a first but lose interest subsequently..
she's probably those who wans alot of bfs in her life so that she can get her fun and joy of choosing, and aft tt set all bfs in misery... well tts selfish of her.. i definitely wldnt wan a gf like tis..
her being sociable and wanting to know more frens, i can understd ur plight becos i feel that way as u too.. exactly the same.. for tt can see that u really value her alot and really lacks her attention.. a guy who's insecure will say all tis.. a gf who failed to give u security will deserve none of ur love..
can see tt u're one of a nice guy if u actually mind all tis tings..
so the opinion tt i can give is.... to give up tis relationship.. dun jump into another relationship directly becos u really need to find a gf tt u like and most impt of all, to find one tt u can accept (dun repeat tis mistake agn).. -
Actually she is the one that puts in more to the relationship,while im the more heck care one.And im sure she loves me,maybe even more than me,so its not a one sided relationship.Im sure she saw my sms but never reply,i saw it happen before
.She also admit when i asked her about it.Anyway she said she did the giving number to guys online because i did it once with a girl i now on irc.I did that because we were unhappy with each other at that time and wanted to make her angry.But that happened very long before she did it and i apologised to her already... -
u treat her too good le...now taken for granted..
-
Even get the feeling that once you treat a girl very well, she might starts to take things for granted?
-
i hope you have woken up by the time u read my reply
if not my advice is to 'get out and move on' unless u wanna spend your army days wondering what she is doing behind your back...
my advice to you is to get rich and powerful, if u cant then be a jerk..coz women are attracted to such man
but if u die die want to stick with her here is what u should do...
do the same to her from pt2 - 6. if all goes well she will be vying for your attention in no time, if not well u may have just found yourself another gf
either way u win...until u go into army..where u become poor and powerless.. -
Yes, as a forumite has quoted before "Treat a girl like Gold, and she will believe she is Gold."Originally posted by pete98:Even get the feeling that once you treat a girl very well, she might starts to take things for granted? -
Do you believe or how many friend or relative around you have their relationship from school day until they got married?
The early you starts a relationships the earlier you get sick of it.
To prolong a relationship is to extend the "honeymoon period"
1.her clothes.she likes to wear skimpy clothes that zaogeng easily.so im not happy about it and ask her not to wear clothes like that.but she thinks its no big deal.
I guess you are those type of guys that does not allow their GF to wear bikini in swimming pool.
Why worry ? she is wearing a bra inside what can the guys see?
2.her friends.how she always put her friends in the 1st place.like sometimes we arrange to go out but she will later say she going out with her friends and cancel our date.
In a relationship is not only 2 of you, what you can do is to follow, enjoy and entertain her friends and get her to join your friends for outing.
If you canÂ’t get along with her friends, it means you canÂ’t get along with her. From her friend if you observe you may find out even more about her.
Make use of your GFÂ’s friends :
Treat them nicely, present yourself well in front of them make them think your GF is fortunate to have you. Make her friend look after her for you, then as and when you don’t want to attend any of the outing they will report to you if “anything” goes wrong .
3.her sms.how she takes very long to sms me.like she saw my sms but she does not reply immediately but only reply later when she feel like it.maybe this is stupid to argue about?
Do likewise, I think you reacted as you need her more than you. She know you wonÂ’t leave.
4.she being sociable with other guys and like to join extra activities.she will be very friendly to her guy friends.like always joking around with them.and she likes to join alot of activities that will know alot of new people.i think if a couple is attached they shouldnt do things that will make the other party angry.since she know i will not be happy but she dont care and still do it.
You must accept her friends, go out with her and all the guys so that you can watch her. If you let her know you donÂ’t like and she mean you will get angry guess what she will do?
She will go out with them and lie to you, if any of these guy you dislike her with go after her you are gone.
Most guys won't go after friends GF, so make them your freind or "brothers" .
5.she knowing guys online.guys message her in wholivesnearyou.com and she gives them her msn and then even her number.she even auto message one of them.she also adds guys that add her in her friendster that are not her friends.
Remember how you know each other? When you know her she is like these, how you gonna stop her? Let her be, if you lost her the same way you know her, she is not worth. -
But the point is i dont treat her good.I always scold her and use vulgarities.She is the one that always cry to me and asked me to patch back after we broke up.But now i also dont really care already.
-
Originally posted by spacesurf:But the point is i dont treat her good.I always scold her and use vulgarities.She is the one that always cry to me and asked me to patch back after we broke up.But now i also dont really care already.
You're the bad guy ??
.....
Sigh. Speechless le. -
I will close one eye for all except 5 and 6.
-
Now the truth is slowly oozing out. Typical AA situation.
-
Sometimes we forget that all events here are from a one-sided perspective. Not just here, everywhere.Originally posted by M©+square:Now the truth is slowly oozing out. Typical AA situation.
Oh well, lesson learnt. Next time people post... maybe we should ask... "YOU SURE OR NOT! YOU DID SOMETHING BAD FIRST RIGHT!"
haha... then everyone will run away liao~ -
hi jus some ideas as ur scenario was quite similar to mine in certain aspects :
2.her friends.how she always put her friends in the 1st place.like sometimes we arrange to go out but she will later say she going out with her friends and cancel our date.
3.her sms.how she takes very long to sms me.like she saw my sms but she does not reply immediately but only reply later when she feel like it.maybe this is stupid to argue about?
4.she being sociable with other guys and like to join extra activities.she will be very friendly to her guy friends.like always joking around with them.and she likes to join alot of activities that will know alot of new people.i think if a couple is attached they shouldnt do things that will make the other party angry.since she know i will not be happy but she dont care and still do it.
5.she knowing guys online.guys message her in wholivesnearyou.com and she gives them her msn and then even her number.she even auto message one of them.she also adds guys that add her in her friendster that are not her friends.
6.When i ask her go out she always give reasons like i ask her out only on that day and her parents dont allow then never go out.She also say its troublesome for her to go out cause still need to prepare all those.But i dont hear her saying all that when going out with her friends.Though its true her parents are strict with her.
I dun know abt the NORM standard for most ppl, but personally, i cldnt accept that she was so sociable, having so many frens (& mostly guys) & most imptly, putting her frens at 1st priority rather me.
Eg. she goes movies on sat with a large bunch of frens (instead of being with me) & a guy sent home at ard 3 am plus
She goes clubbin till the next morning...
Its best if u can sit down for a talk & reach for some compromise ( BIZ-- like heez). But as human, we all have some weakness. Hence, if she is really into somethk that u mind a lot, chances are the same prob will crop up & same quarrels etc.
But the point is i dont treat her good.I always scold her and use vulgarities.She is the one that always cry to me and asked me to patch back after we broke up.But now i also dont really care already.
This is unacceptable as guys shld NV use vuglarities on his gf... -
Not necessarily...?Originally posted by M©+square:Now the truth is slowly oozing out. Typical AA situation. -
Originally posted by _Aaron_:Sometimes we forget that all events here are from a one-sided perspective. Not just here, everywhere.
Oh well, lesson learnt. Next time people post... maybe we should ask... "YOU SURE OR NOT! YOU DID SOMETHING BAD FIRST RIGHT!"
haha... then everyone will run away liao~
" -
Haha why does it sound like im the bad guy now.I think both of us have faults in this relationship,but i want to know whether it was stupid for me to argue with her over all these things.
-
hmmm..Originally posted by spacesurf:Im 18 this year and i just completed my A level.Last year when i was in jc1 i knew this girl from my school online.She was sort of attracted to me before she know me and so she initiated knowing me online.When we were still friends she did alot of stuff to show that she like me.After 1 month as friends we got together.
At first it was all sweet and nice,like every relationship.But as time passed by we started to quarrel,till the point we quarrel almost everyday.Mostly its me that started the quarrel.We always quarrel about
1.her clothes.she likes to wear skimpy clothes that zaogeng easily.so im not happy about it and ask her not to wear clothes like that.but she thinks its no big deal.
2.her friends.how she always put her friends in the 1st place.like sometimes we arrange to go out but she will later say she going out with her friends and cancel our date.
3.her sms.how she takes very long to sms me.like she saw my sms but she does not reply immediately but only reply later when she feel like it.maybe this is stupid to argue about?
4.she being sociable with other guys and like to join extra activities.she will be very friendly to her guy friends.like always joking around with them.and she likes to join alot of activities that will know alot of new people.i think if a couple is attached they shouldnt do things that will make the other party angry.since she know i will not be happy but she dont care and still do it.
5.she knowing guys online.guys message her in wholivesnearyou.com and she gives them her msn and then even her number.she even auto message one of them.she also adds guys that add her in her friendster that are not her friends.
6.When i ask her go out she always give reasons like i ask her out only on that day and her parents dont allow then never go out.She also say its troublesome for her to go out cause still need to prepare all those.But i dont hear her saying all that when going out with her friends.Though its true her parents are strict with her.
We always breakup and then patchback due to all these reasons.Until till august this year when we broke up and she say she want to take a break to concentrate on her As and we solve our problems after As.She promise to accompany me after As cause im going army soon.Though i told her we breakup and dont contact anymore.During that period of time we really never contact each other much.The day before the last day of As she ask me if im free the next day but i say not sure.But not that day she never ask me out.And she never ask me out on the next 2 days till its 3 days after As then she ask me out.She never ask me out after As cause she got class outing and the other days she went out with her friends.So i never agree to go out with her as i feel she only ask me out when she's free.After that a few days then it happen again,when she asked me out only when she never go out with her friends.
So do you think im being ridiculous to mind all these things?Or its normal for a guy to mind.
1)she wear skimpy clothes?..mayb dis is reasonable fer u to quarrel abt..but it is reali normal fer ger ger to wear pretty pretty lo...=)...
2)some gers tends to put fren at the 1st place lo...especially during dis period..the r/s u guys r undergoin is puppy lurfe bahx....so ger think tt fren can b forever..but nt r/s ..
3)hmmmm...mayb she got mood swing due to some gers stuff..u noe la horrr...=0
4)sociable wif other guy doesn't mean anithing..jus tt u guys take it too seriously bahx...mayb when u tok to ger she oso will jealous lei?...it is the same bahx..i mean..u can't stop her frm makin fren..cos u will nvr noe when u will leave her..it is impossible fer u to b so unfair by stoppin her frm makin fren lo
5)is jus makin fren lo..no big deal..jus tt she dun go out wif the guy n flirt wif him can le bahx
6)dis 1 i will agree if u quarrel wif her over dis la..cos u will feel she "pang seh" u..=D
so hope dis do help..or mayb u think i tok crap...-no comments- -
Forget abt her and enjoy urself in army lah.
No pt havin a gal while servin NS...coz have a high chance of breakin up.
So y not now, spend ur time to train up and get ready for the experience of ur best 2.5 yrs. -
she is really a cheap slut man,at least in my eyes.i cant believe she will actually do that,and when i asked her about it she still dare say its ok.she never put herself in my shoes and think how will i feel.i was so fu(king angry that i gave her 2 slaps.i know that was my fault and i shouldnt have done that at all.but i just cant believe she think its acceptable for all the things she did.luckily we are not together anymore otherwise i wonder what will she do behind my back that SHE think its acceptable
.im glad it finally came to an end.in the past no matter what happened there is still a part of me that hope we will be together.but now i really had enough. -
i totally agree with that.with her kind of attitude that regard so many things that an attached couple shouldnt do as acceptable,thereby making me always worrying what she had done that i dont know, she really deserve none of my love.Originally posted by pescar:a gf who failed to give u security will deserve none of ur love.. -
-
Go on and carry on with your life then. Don't forget her entirely, but remember the learning points of this relationship as you slowly pursue another~Originally posted by spacesurf:i totally agree with that.with her kind of attitude that regard so many things that an attached couple shouldnt do as acceptable,thereby making me always worrying what she had done that i dont know, she really deserve none of my love.