problems with my own attitude
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being only fifteen and a member of a cca, im subject to much people politics within the small community, e.g. this guy getting pissed at that guy, this guy getting hacked off over another reason, this long grudge between 2 ppl, etc
now, i myself have not been spared, and i must say im really tired of this.... seemingly endless cycle of politics.
once, i resolved to become a cold fish, to only turn up for cca for training and not to really... put my soul into it and connect to others, reasoning that by opening myself to others, i risk getting hurt and even hurting others.
now, i think its not the best way out as... im depriving myself out of a lot of... enjoyable experiences with the rest of the guys. but i really don't want to be involved in those petty quarrells and so on.
now, what can i do? -
Juz be yourself, try to ignored those arguements tats not related to u; to save urself from unnecessary conflicts within u n ur cca mates. Live for urself not for others.
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learn from me. kick the balls of whoever pisses you off! hehe
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Dun care wat others is talking abt u juz be yourself..
And dun even join in d politics.....
all company have politics so juz heck care them & do your own work so tat no politics can affect u.... -
treasure this learning experience. no serious consequences anyway. when you work outside, things are worseOriginally posted by happygoluckyy:being only fifteen and a member of a cca, im subject to much people politics within the small community, e.g. this guy getting pissed at that guy, this guy getting hacked off over another reason, this long grudge between 2 ppl, etc
now, i myself have not been spared, and i must say im really tired of this.... seemingly endless cycle of politics.
once, i resolved to become a cold fish, to only turn up for cca for training and not to really... put my soul into it and connect to others, reasoning that by opening myself to others, i risk getting hurt and even hurting others.
now, i think its not the best way out as... im depriving myself out of a lot of... enjoyable experiences with the rest of the guys. but i really don't want to be involved in those petty quarrells and so on.
now, what can i do? -
Wow. I can't believe this. Politics in CCA?
And i used to think Secondary School was free of that. Seems i'm wrong. There Are a few options, like:-
- choosing one of them-> which will probably gain you more 'enemies',
- choosing the majority/popular faction -> which will gain you more friends than enemies.
- abstaining completely from politics -> which you say makes you feel left out.
How about a fourth method? Hanging out with both? You could hang out with each faction, and change between them every week, or just hang out with whoever you want to, but making sure that they know you're neutral.
Most of them will not do anything much to you, and i believe they will still accept you,(unless of course, the hatred runs very deep).
The thing is, if you don't want to choose any side, just let them know, but it doesn't mean you can't hang out with them altogether. -
Just make sure u end up on the winning sideOriginally posted by happygoluckyy:being only fifteen and a member of a cca, im subject to much people politics within the small community, e.g. this guy getting pissed at that guy, this guy getting hacked off over another reason, this long grudge between 2 ppl, etc
now, i myself have not been spared, and i must say im really tired of this.... seemingly endless cycle of politics.
once, i resolved to become a cold fish, to only turn up for cca for training and not to really... put my soul into it and connect to others, reasoning that by opening myself to others, i risk getting hurt and even hurting others.
now, i think its not the best way out as... im depriving myself out of a lot of... enjoyable experiences with the rest of the guys. but i really don't want to be involved in those petty quarrells and so on.
now, what can i do?
(WHO'S NEXT TO BE TROUBLED?!
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there was politics in my cca in sec sch too, stupid juniors acting like they own the place.Originally posted by _Aaron_:Wow. I can't believe this. Politics in CCA?
And i used to think Secondary School was free of that. Seems i'm wrong. There Are a few options, like:-
- choosing one of them-> which will probably gain you more 'enemies',
- choosing the majority/popular faction -> which will gain you more friends than enemies.
- abstaining completely from politics -> which you say makes you feel left out.
How about a fourth method? Hanging out with both? You could hang out with each faction, and change between them every week, or just hang out with whoever you want to, but making sure that they know you're neutral.
Most of them will not do anything much to you, and i believe they will still accept you,(unless of course, the hatred runs very deep).
The thing is, if you don't want to choose any side, just let them know, but it doesn't mean you can't hang out with them altogether. -
Mix with people. You learn from the negative and positive experiences. CCA is meant to be enjoyed . Why deprive yourself of a life experience , on account of politics. Politics happen everywhere , work school family etc. Be a piece of wall paper when there are hostilies - keep under the radar . It is a learning experience - see who the backstabbers are , see how they behave etc. When you enter working life , it will teach you well to survive in hostile environments.Originally posted by happygoluckyy:being only fifteen and a member of a cca, im subject to much people politics within the small community, e.g. this guy getting pissed at that guy, this guy getting hacked off over another reason, this long grudge between 2 ppl, etc
now, i myself have not been spared, and i must say im really tired of this.... seemingly endless cycle of politics.
once, i resolved to become a cold fish, to only turn up for cca for training and not to really... put my soul into it and connect to others, reasoning that by opening myself to others, i risk getting hurt and even hurting others.
now, i think its not the best way out as... im depriving myself out of a lot of... enjoyable experiences with the rest of the guys. but i really don't want to be involved in those petty quarrells and so on.
now, what can i do?
When two people are arguing , just leave them and join the others who are not. If one side wants to drag you in, politely find an excuse and say you have to go somewhere (toilet is the best reason) . My frequent excuses are " I cannot really say much since I don't know the sides of the stories too well. I prefer not to know , too. Excuse me ,I have to use the loo". Then I stroll to the people who are mixing about happily (after walking to the loo). It works for me in my workplace. So far , people have not complaint much about me and I like what I do. I just act as a spectator of their hostilities towards each other as a show and tell. -
It'll be a good lesson before you face the real sh|t in the society?Originally posted by happygoluckyy:being only fifteen and a member of a cca, im subject to much people politics within the small community, e.g. this guy getting pissed at that guy, this guy getting hacked off over another reason, this long grudge between 2 ppl, etc
now, i myself have not been spared, and i must say im really tired of this.... seemingly endless cycle of politics.
once, i resolved to become a cold fish, to only turn up for cca for training and not to really... put my soul into it and connect to others, reasoning that by opening myself to others, i risk getting hurt and even hurting others.
now, i think its not the best way out as... im depriving myself out of a lot of... enjoyable experiences with the rest of the guys. but i really don't want to be involved in those petty quarrells and so on.
now, what can i do?
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My frequent excuses are " I cannot really say much since I don't know the sides of the stories too well.
i think thats a really great way to exit a conversation!
anyway, one of my main problems is the rumours and gossip spread behind my back, done by people with sometimes no other malicious intent other than to have something "interesting" to say to others and thus gain popularity
like once, a good friend asked me whether what he heard was true, that i punished my sec 1s for not buying me a drink. it wasn't true, i had punished them for turning up late many times, but many of my same level friends (i.e. sec 3s) chose to believe the more ludicrious tale.
should i go out of my way to clear my name, or just let it be? -
are u from ur school band?
i was in drama, then band, then track&field and only band people have lots of politics to talk over. -
Happens to everyone. Well , you will soon know who your real friends are. Your real friends will stand by you and believe what you say. The fairweather ones are those who help spread the rumours and gossip.Originally posted by happygoluckyy:i think thats a really great way to exit a conversation!
anyway, one of my main problems is the rumours and gossip spread behind my back, done by people with sometimes no other malicious intent other than to have something "interesting" to say to others and thus gain popularity
like once, a good friend asked me whether what he heard was true, that i punished my sec 1s for not buying me a drink. it wasn't true, i had punished them for turning up late many times, but many of my same level friends (i.e. sec 3s) chose to believe the more ludicrious tale.
should i go out of my way to clear my name, or just let it be?
If you overhear it yourself, just go up to the idle gossiper (find out who the gossip is) and say :
"Excuse me , you got the story wrong. You were not there and you have absolutely no right to say anything at all. I was there and I can tell you this is not how it happened. "
or
" Congratulations . I think you have a great potential for being the world best fairy tale writer . I am sorry to disappoint you - that despite all the exaggeration you have done - it is not how it happened"
or
" If you wish to spread the rumours about me- I appreciate it if you could say it to my face in front of everybody. "
I think the 3rd one is better - just keep smiling (even if you want to wring the neck of the miserable wench) when you say it to him/her. It is fun - my colleagues can't stand it when I say it with a smile . They buay tahan when I suan them .
However I need to caution you - it may work for adults but not for kids. You can also choose to ignore it - rumours take time to die down and everyone forgets about it. Sometimes an ignorant man is a blissful man.
Stay under the radar next time. If you need to mete out punishment - just tell them LOUDLY what they did wrong and then mete it out. An OPEN explanation is always good for clarification.