Honesty... and silver linings...

• kopiosatu

  12 Dec 04, 09:33

  Why do people lie in a relationship? Is there a reason? Is it so hard to be honest?
  
  Why lie when there's another plan in your head in the first place? Why say "I love you" when you don't mean it...
  
  Not that I wanna live in the past, but personally I've been seriously shortchanged.
  
  When my last relationship crashed, I've always told myself its my fault. But slowly I began to realise, it was all a lie. I was a fool to get myself so involved. I began to see the real person I used to love.
  
  It hurts now not because she's gone. But because I wasn't told of the real reason for anything... nothing was clear. No matter how clear she tried to make it sound, it just wasn't logical.
  
  Ironically it was honesty that caused the downfall. I was too stupid to trust her so much... it just wasn't worth it now that I think about it.
  
  At one point, it was my mistake. But once I got to thinking... it was just a big scam.
  
  This incident could be a silver lining on my clouds... could be the starting of clouds on others, because now I see the true person she really is.
  
  So why lie? Does it benefit anyone? Maybe at that point you might think it benefits you... but things do bounce back.
  
  Time to let go, and be happy it ended. Because I've been taken for a ride.
• kopiosatu

  12 Dec 04, 10:02

  Someone said... "Wallets are a lot like girls. You really have to take good care of, because if you won't, something might happen"... I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl. You know, it's the exact same thing.
  
  One day, you just realize it's gone. You try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it.You think, and you think hard, only to come upon a grim realization: it's really gone.
  
  Of course, you can hold on to some hope. After all, there have been some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who get it back. Perhaps you could become one of those people. You sit home and you hope that someone would call, and that you would get it back. But then, some time passes, and you realize that it's still gone, and you realize that it's time to let go.
  
  The first few days, you turn to your friends for support. Some tell you you'll be ok, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences. They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven't heard before.
  
  You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don't really want a new one. You want the old one that you lost. No, you don't want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.
  
  You go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet. And then, finally, you find a new wallet you like and settle in.
  
  You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it's getting there. Then you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon enough, there's as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet.
  
  And then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost on that wallet. But then again, you don't remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it.
  
  That's because that wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. You're no longer holding on. This new wallet you're holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stuff that you need. This is your wallet.
  
  And this time, you tell yourself, you're never losing this one.
• pipi & poot-poot

  12 Dec 04, 10:03

  Liars nev can b good partners......but on d other hand....honesty doesn't guarantee u eternity either.....
  
  Let it go...
• kopiosatu

  12 Dec 04, 10:08

  Originally posted by pipi & poot-poot:

  Liars nev can b good partners......but on d other hand....honesty doesn't guarantee u eternity either.....
  
  Let it go...

  i must state that the reason given for ending was my fault. i still think it is.
  
  but looking at it from a different perspective. i've been fooled.
  
  And yeah, after this i agree that honesty is not enough. I've read posts from AA for some time... some want honesty, some want something else, but humans will never be contented.
  
  Liars can be good partners when they know how to lie, right?
• pipi & poot-poot

  12 Dec 04, 10:17

  D basis of every gd r/s shud trust.....
  
  Trustin ur other half means givin dem room 2 grow n fly......
  
  A r/s cun flourish dis way i guess.....but it cun oso lead 2 situations where '1 or both of u feel like totally givin up along d way' (Richard Gere from Runaway Bride last nite).....
  
  Trust means takin her lies along wif d truth....
  
  But personally.....i nev believed in this ==>

  Originally posted by kopiosatu:

  Liars can be good partners when they know how to lie, right?

• kopiosatu

  12 Dec 04, 10:26

  Originally posted by pipi & poot-poot:

  D basis of every gd r/s shud trust.....
  
  Trustin ur other half means givin dem room 2 grow n fly......
  
  A r/s cun flourish dis way i guess.....but it cun oso lead 2 situations where '1 or both of u feel like totally givin up along d way' (Richard Gere from Runaway Bride last nite).....
  
  Trust means takin her lies along wif d truth....
  
  But personally.....i nev believed in this ==>

  i've trusted too much i guess...
• pipi & poot-poot

  12 Dec 04, 10:32

  Nev place urslf on a platter....ready 2 b feast upon...
  
  Nev place ur partner on a pedestal......no one deserves 2 b prayed upon...
• edLow

  12 Dec 04, 11:06

  Originally posted by pipi & poot-poot:

  D basis of every gd r/s shud trust.....
  
  Trustin ur other half means givin dem room 2 grow n fly......
  
  A r/s cun flourish dis way i guess.....but it cun oso lead 2 situations where '1 or both of u feel like totally givin up along d way' (Richard Gere from Runaway Bride last nite).....
  
  Trust means takin her lies along wif d truth....
  
  But personally.....i nev believed in this ==>

  sometime telling a white lie is probably better than the truth or some lame lie.
• edLow

  12 Dec 04, 11:09

  Maybe this song lyric will help a bit?
  
  Rie Fu - Life Is Like A Boat
  
  Nobody knows who I really am
  I never felt this empty before
  And if I ever need someone to come along
  WhoÂ’s gonna comfort me and keep me strong?
  
  We are all rowing the boat of fate
  The waves keep on coming and we canÂ’t escape
  But if we ever get lost on our way
  The waves will guide you through another day
  
  I know we have so far to go
  Within the connections I see
  Thoughts of darkness, and so
  I adjust my mask of serenity
  
  I offer up a prayer
  And wait for a new day
  In the brilliance of the shining sea
  Until there is a shore
  
  Nobody knows who I really am
  Maybe they just donÂ’t give a damn
  But if I ever need someone to come along
  I know you will follow me and keep me strong
  
  People go fishing in their hearts
  And have become deceitful
  a new cycle of the moon
  Brings someone into my heart
  
  And every time I see your face
  The oceans heave up to my heart
  You make me wanna strain at the oars
  And soon I can see the shore
  
  Ah, I can see the shore?
  When will I see the shore?
  
  I want you to know who I really am
  I never thought IÂ’d feel this way towards you
  And if you ever need someone to come along
  I will follow you and keep you strong
  
  Still, the journey continues on
  Even on a gentle day
  Again a new cycle of the moon
  Sends a shine into my heart
  
  I offer up a prayer
  And wait for a new day
  In the brilliance of the shining sea
  Until there is a shore
  
  And every time I see your face
  The oceans heave up to my heart
  You make me wanna strain at the oars
  And soon I can see the shore
  
  To the uncertain fate of the heart
  The waves are stages of the moon
  To us it seems as if
  ItÂ’s a wonderful journey
  What a wonderful journey
  
• pipi & poot-poot

  12 Dec 04, 11:10

  Does it matter wat 'colour' d lie is ?
  
  If there is a lie...there wil surely b another.....
  
  Sometimes situations may call 4 it...but ultimately.....where wil trust b placed if lies persist ?
• edLow

  12 Dec 04, 13:19

  i just realise.... she been waiting for someone for 4 yrs to go back to her..
  
  hai... she nvr told me bout this. i found out somehow.. somewhere..
• Devil1976

  13 Dec 04, 00:05

  MOD [Topic is Closed upon request of Topic starter.]